dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she
thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her
that she ought to have wondered at this, but
at the time it all seemed quite natural); but
when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of
its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and
then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for
it flashed across her mind that she had
never before seen a rabbit with either a
waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of
it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across
the field after it, and fortunately was just in
time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole
under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it,
never once considering how in the world
she was to get out again.

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a
tunnel for some way, and then dipped
suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had
not a moment to think about stopping
herself before she found herself falling

-1-

shall fall right through the earth! How funny
it'll seem to come out among the people that
walk with their heads downward! The
Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad
there was no one listening, this time, as it
didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I
shall have to ask them what the name of the
country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this
New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
to curtsey as she spoke--fancy curtseying
as you're falling through the air! Do you think
you could manage it?) `And what an
ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking!
No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it
written up somewhere.'

Down, down, down. There was nothing else
to do, so Alice soon began talking again.
`Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope
they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-
time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down
here with me! There are no mice in the air,
I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and
that's very like a mouse, you know. But do
cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice
began to get rather sleepy, and went on
saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way,
`Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and
sometimes, `Do bats eat cats?' for, you
see, as she couldn't answer either
question, it didn't much matter which way
she put it. She felt that she was dozing off,
and had just begun to dream that she was
walking hand in hand with Dinah, and
saying to her very earnestly, `Now, Dinah,
tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?'
when suddenly, thump! thump! down she
came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves,
and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up
on to her feet in a moment: she looked up,
but it was all dark overhead; before her was
another long passage, and the White Rabbit
was still in sight, hurrying down it. There

-2-

ever saw. How she longed to get out of that
dark hall, and wander about among those
beds of bright flowers and those cool
fountains, but she could not even get her
head though the doorway; `and even if my
head would go through,' thought poor Alice,
`it would be of very little use without my
shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like
a telescope! I think I could, if I only know how
to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-
way things had happened lately, that Alice
had begun to think that very few things
indeed were really impossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the
little door, so she went back to the table,
half hoping she might find another key on it,
or at any rate a book of rules for shutting
people up like telescopes: this time she
found a little bottle on it, (`which certainly
was not here before,' said Alice,) and
round the neck of the bottle was a paper
label, with the words `DRINK ME'
beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the
wise little Alice was not going to do that in a
hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see
whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she
had read several nice little histories about
children who had got burnt, and eaten up by
wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all
because they would not remember the
simple rules their friends had taught them:
such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if

-3-

said Alice to herself, rather sharply; `I
advise you to leave off this minute!' She
generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it), and
sometimes she scolded herself so severely
as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she
remembered trying to box her own ears for
having cheated herself in a game of croquet
she was playing against herself, for this
curious child was very fond of pretending to
be two people. `But it's no use now,'
thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two
people! Why, there's hardly enough of me
left to make one respectable person!'

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that
was lying under the table: she opened it,
and found in it a very small cake, on which
the words `EAT ME' were beautifully
marked in currants. `Well, I'll eat it,' said
Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger, I can
reach the key; and if it makes me grow
smaller, I can creep under the door; so
either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't
care which happens!'

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to
herself, `Which way? Which way?', holding
her hand on the top of her head to feel which
way it was growing, and she was quite
surprised to find that she remained the
same size: to be sure, this generally
happens when one eats cake, but Alice had
got so much into the way of expecting
nothing but out-of-the-way things to
happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid
for life to go on in the common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finished
off the cake.

Chapter II The Pool of Tears

`Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she
was so much surprised, that for the moment
she quite forgot how to speak good

-4-

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do,
lying down on one side, to look through into
the garden with one eye; but to get through
was more hopeless than ever: she sat down
and began to cry again.

`You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said
Alice, `a great girl like you,' (she might well
say this), `to go on crying in this way! Stop
this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all
the same, shedding gallons of tears, until
there was a large pool all round her, about
four inches deep and reaching half down
the hall.

After a time she heard a little pattering of
feet in the distance, and she hastily dried
her eyes to see what was coming. It was the
White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed,
with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand
and a large fan in the other: he came trotting
along in a great hurry, muttering to himself
as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the
Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if I've
kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate
that she was ready to ask help of any one;
so, when the Rabbit came near her, she
began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,
sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped
the white kid gloves and the fan, and
skurried away into the darkness as hard as
he could go.

Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the
hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself

-5-

With gently smiling jaws!'

`I'm sure those are not the right words,' said
poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tears
again as she went on, `I must be Mabel after
all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky
little house, and have next to no toys to play
with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn!
No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use
their putting their heads down and saying
"Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up
and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first,
and then, if I like being that person, I'll come
up: if not, I'll stay down here till I'm
somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried
Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, `I do
wish they would put their heads down! I am
so very tired of being all alone here!'

As she said this she looked down at her
hands, and was surprised to see that she
had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid
gloves while she was talking. `How can I
have done that?' she thought. `I must be
growing small again.' She got up and went
to the table to measure herself by it, and
found that, as nearly as she could guess,
she was now about two feet high, and was
going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found
out that the cause of this was the fan she
was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just
in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.

`That was a narrow escape!' said Alice, a
good deal frightened at the sudden change,
but very glad to find herself still in existence;
`and now for the garden!' and she ran with
all speed back to the little door: but, alas!
the little door was shut again, and the little
golden key was lying on the glass table as
before, `and things are worse than ever,'
thought the poor child, `for I never was so
small as this before, never! And I declare
it's too bad, that it is!'

-6-

`Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice,
`to speak to this mouse? Everything is so
out-of-the-way down here, that I should
think very likely it can talk: at any rate,
there's no harm in trying.' So she began: `O
Mouse, do you know the way out of this
pool? I am very tired of swimming about
here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be
the right way of speaking to a mouse: she
had never done such a thing before, but she
remembered having seen in her brother's
Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--
to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The
Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and
seemed to her to wink with one of its little
eyes, but it said nothing.

`Perhaps it doesn't understand English,'
thought Alice; `I daresay it's a French
mouse, come over with William the
Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of
history, Alice had no very clear notion how
long ago anything had happened.) So she
began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which
was the first sentence in her French lesson-
book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of
the water, and seemed to quiver all over
with fright. `Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried
Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the
poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you
didn't like cats.'

`Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill,
passionate voice. `Would you like cats if you
were me?'

-7-

round and swam slowly back to her: its face
was quite pale (with passion, Alice
thought), and it said in a low trembling
voice, `Let us get to the shore, and then I'll
tell you my history, and you'll understand
why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

It was high time to go, for the pool was
getting quite crowded with the birds and
animals that had fallen into it: there were a
Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet,
and several other curious creatures. Alice
led the way, and the whole party swam to
the shore.

Chapter III A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

They were indeed a queer-looking party
that assembled on the bank--the birds with
draggled feathers, the animals with their fur
clinging close to them, and all dripping wet,
cross, and uncomfortable.

The first question of course was, how to get
dry again: they had a consultation about
this, and after a few minutes it seemed
quite natural to Alice to find herself talking
familiarly with them, as if she had known
them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a
long argument with the Lory, who at last
turned sulky, and would only say, `I am older
than you, and must know better'; and this
Alice would not allow without knowing how
old it was, and, as the Lory positively
refused to tell its age, there was no more to
be said.

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a
person of authority among them, called out,
`Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'll
soon make you dry enough!' They all sat
down at once, in a large ring, with the
Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes
anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she
would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry
very soon.

-8-

`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly,
rising to its feet, `I move that the meeting
adjourn, for the immediate adoption of
more energetic remedies--'

`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't
know the meaning of half those long words,
and, what's more, I don't believe you do
either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head
to hide a smile: some of the other birds
tittered audibly.

`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in
an offended tone, `was, that the best thing
to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'

`What is a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not
that she wanted much to know, but the
Dodo had paused as if it thought that
somebody ought to speak, and no one else
seemed inclined to say anything.

`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to
explain it is to do it.' (And, as you might like
to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I
will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort
of circle, (`the exact shape doesn't matter,'
it said,) and then all the party were placed
along the course, here and there. There was
no `One, two, three, and away,' but they
began running when they liked, and left off
when they liked, so that it was not easy to
know when the race was over. However,
when they had been running half an hour or
so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo
suddenly called out `The race is over!' and
they all crowded round it, panting, and
asking, `But who has won?'

This question the Dodo could not answer
without a great deal of thought, and it sat for
a long time with one finger pressed upon its
forehead (the position in which you usually
see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him),

-9-

Alice thought the whole thing very absurd,
but they all looked so grave that she did not
dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of
anything to say, she simply bowed, and
took the thimble, looking as solemn as she
could.

The next thing was to eat the comfits: this
caused some noise and confusion, as the
large birds complained that they could not
taste theirs, and the small ones choked and
had to be patted on the back. However, it
was over at last, and they sat down again in
a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them
something more.

`You promised to tell me your history, you
know,' said Alice, `and why it is you hate--
C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
afraid that it would be offended again.

`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the
Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

`It is a long tail, certainly,' said Alice,
looking down with wonder at the Mouse's
tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And she
kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse
was speaking, so that her idea of the tale
was something like this:


`Fury said to a
mouse, That he
met in the
house,
"Let us
both go to
law: I will
prosecute
YOU. --Come,
I'll take no
denial; We
must have a
trial: For
really this

-10-

`you had got to the fifth bend, I think?'

`I had not!' cried the Mouse, sharply and
very angrily.

`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make
herself useful, and looking anxiously about
her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

`I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the
Mouse, getting up and walking away. `You
insult me by talking such nonsense!'

`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But
you're so easily offended, you know!'

The Mouse only growled in reply.

`Please come back and finish your story!'
Alice called after it; and the others all joined
in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but the Mouse
only shook its head impatiently, and walked
a little quicker.

`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the
Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight;
and an old Crab took the opportunity of
saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this
be a lesson to you never to lose your
temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the
young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're
enough to try the patience of an oyster!'

`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!'
said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in
particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'

`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask
the question?' said the Lory.

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always
ready to talk about her pet: `Dinah's our cat.
And she's such a capital one for catching
mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you
could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat
a little bird as soon as look at it!'

-11-

went hunting about, and called out to her in
an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what are you
doing out here? Run home this moment,
and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan!
Quick, now!' And Alice was so much
frightened that she ran off at once in the
direction it pointed to, without trying to
explain the mistake it had made.

`He took me for his housemaid,' she said to
herself as she ran. `How surprised he'll be
when he finds out who I am! But I'd better
take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can
find them.' As she said this, she came upon
a neat little house, on the door of which was
a bright brass plate with the name `W.
RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in
without knocking, and hurried upstairs, in
great fear lest she should meet the real
Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house
before she had found the fan and gloves.

`How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself,
`to be going messages for a rabbit! I
suppose Dinah'll be sending me on
messages next!' And she began fancying
the sort of thing that would happen: `"Miss
Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for
your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But
I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get
out." Only I don't think,' Alice went on, `that
they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began
ordering people about like that!'

By this time she had found her way into a
tidy little room with a table in the window,
and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two
or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she
took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and
was just going to leave the room, when her
eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the
looking-glass. There was no label this time
with the words `DRINK ME,' but
nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to
her lips. `I know something interesting is
sure to happen,' she said to herself,

-12-

`It was much pleasanter at home,' thought
poor Alice, `when one wasn't always
growing larger and smaller, and being
ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost
wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--
and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you
know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can
have happened to me! When I used to read
fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never
happened, and now here I am in the middle
of one! There ought to be a book written
about me, that there ought! And when I grow
up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,'
she added in a sorrowful tone; `at least
there's no room to grow up any more here.'

`But then,' thought Alice, `shall I never get
any older than I am now? That'll be a
comfort, one way--never to be an old
woman but then--always to have lessons to
learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that!'

`Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered
herself. `How can you learn lessons in here?
Why, there's hardly room for you, and no
room at all for any lesson-books!'

And so she went on, taking first one side
and then the other, and making quite a
conversation of it altogether; but after a few
minutes she heard a voice outside, and
stopped to listen.

`Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice.
`Fetch me my gloves this moment!' Then
came a little pattering of feet on the stairs.
Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look
for her, and she trembled till she shook the
house, quite forgetting that she was now
about a thousand times as large as the
Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.

Presently the Rabbit came up to the door,
and tried to open it; but, as the door opened
inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed
hard against it, that attempt proved a failure.

-13-

`Well, it's got no business there, at any rate:
go and take it away!'

There was a long silence after this, and
Alice could only hear whispers now and
then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer
honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you
coward!' and at last she spread out her
hand again, and made another snatch in the
air. This time there were two little shrieks,
and more sounds of broken glass. `What a
number of cucumber-frames there must
be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do
next! As for pulling me out of the window, I
only wish they could! I'm sure I don't want to
stay in here any longer!'

She waited for some time without hearing
anything more: at last came a rumbling of
little cartwheels, and the sound of a good
many voices all talking together: she made
out the words: `Where's the other ladder?--
Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the
other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put
'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em together
first--they don't reach half high enough yet-
-Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be
particular Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope-
-Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--
Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a
loud crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was
Bill, I fancy--Who's to go down the
chimney?--Nay, I shan't! You do it!--That I
won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill!
the master says you're to go down the
chimney!'

`Oh! So Bill's got to come down the
chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself.
`Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I
wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal:
this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but I
think I can kick a little!'

She drew her foot as far down the chimney
as she could, and waited till she heard a

-14-

the Rabbit say, `A barrowful will do, to
begin with.'

`A barrowful of what?' thought Alice; but
she had not long to doubt, for the next
moment a shower of little pebbles came
rattling in at the window, and some of them
hit her in the face. `I'll put a stop to this,' she
said to herself, and shouted out, `You'd
better not do that again!' which produced
another dead silence.

Alice noticed with some surprise that the
pebbles were all turning into little cakes as
they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came
into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,'
she thought, `it's sure to make some
change in my size; and as it can't possibly
make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
suppose.'

So she swallowed one of the cakes, and
was delighted to find that she began
shrinking directly. As soon as she was small
enough to get through the door, she ran out
of the house, and found quite a crowd of
little animals and birds waiting outside. The
poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle,
being held up by two guinea-pigs, who
were giving it something out of a bottle.
They all made a rush at Alice the moment
she appeared; but she ran off as hard as
she could, and soon found herself safe in a
thick wood.

`The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to
herself, as she wandered about in the
wood, `is to grow to my right size again; and
the second thing is to find my way into that
lovely garden. I think that will be the best
plan.'

It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and
very neatly and simply arranged; the only
difficulty was, that she had not the smallest
idea how to set about it; and while she was

-15-

great eyes half shut.

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for
making her escape; so she set off at once,
and ran till she was quite tired and out of
breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded
quite faint in the distance.

`And yet what a dear little puppy it was!'
said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup
to rest herself, and fanned herself with one
of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it
tricks very much, if--if I'd only been the right
size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten
that I've got to grow up again! Let me see--
how is it to be managed? I suppose I ought
to eat or drink something or other; but the
great question is, what?'

The great question certainly was, what?
Alice looked all round her at the flowers and
the blades of grass, but she did not see
anything that looked like the right thing to eat
or drink under the circumstances. There
was a large mushroom growing near her,
about the same height as herself; and when
she had looked under it, and on both sides
of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she
might as well look and see what was on the
top of it.

She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and
peeped over the edge of the mushroom,
and her eyes immediately met those of a
large caterpillar, that was sitting on the top
with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long
hookah, and taking not the smallest notice
of her or of anything else.

-16-

and then after that into a butterfly, I should
think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?'

`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

`Well, perhaps your feelings may be
different,' said Alice; `all I know is, it would
feel very queer to me.'

`You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously.
`Who are you?'

Which brought them back again to the
beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a
little irritated at the Caterpillar's making
such very short remarks, and she drew
herself up and said, very gravely, `I think,
you ought to tell me who you are, first.'

`Why?' said the Caterpillar.

Here was another puzzling question; and as
Alice could not think of any good reason,
and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a
very unpleasant state of mind, she turned
away.

`Come back!' the Caterpillar called after
her. `I've something important to say!'

This sounded promising, certainly: Alice
turned and came back again.

`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.

`Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down
her anger as well as she could.

`No,' said the Caterpillar.

Alice thought she might as well wait, as she
had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all
it might tell her something worth hearing.
For some minutes it puffed away without
speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms,
took the hookah out of its mouth again, and

-17-

door
Pray, what is the reason of that?'
`In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook
his grey locks,
`I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment--one shilling the
box
Allow me to sell you a couple?'

`You are old,' said the youth, `and your
jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones
and the beak
Pray how did you manage to do it?'
`In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the
law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to
my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.'

`You are old,' said the youth, `one would
hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your

-18-

`Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if
you wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three
inches is such a wretched height to be.'

`It is a very good height indeed!' said the
Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it
spoke (it was exactly three inches high).

`But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice
in a piteous tone. And she thought of
herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so
easily offended!'

`You'll get used to it in time,' said the
Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its
mouth and began smoking again.

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose
to speak again. In a minute or two the
Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth
and yawned once or twice, and shook itself.
Then it got down off the mushroom, and
crawled away in the grass, merely
remarking as it went, `One side will make
you grow taller, and the other side will make
you grow shorter.'

`One side of what? The other side of what?'
thought Alice to herself.

`Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar,
just as if she had asked it aloud; and in
another moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the
mushroom for a minute, trying to make out
which were the two sides of it; and as it was
perfectly round, she found this a very
difficult question. However, at last she
stretched her arms round it as far as they
would go, and broke off a bit of the edge
with each hand.

`And now which is which?' she said to
herself, and nibbled a little of the right-hand
bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt

-19-

`I'm not a serpent!' said Alice indignantly.
`Let me alone!'

`Serpent, I say again!' repeated the
Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and
added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every
way, and nothing seems to suit them!'

`I haven't the least idea what you're talking
about,' said Alice.

`I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried
banks, and I've tried hedges,' the Pigeon
went on, without attending to her; `but those
serpents! There's no pleasing them!'

Alice was more and more puzzled, but she
thought there was no use in saying anything
more till the Pigeon had finished.

`As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the
eggs,' said the Pigeon; `but I must be on the
look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I
haven't had a wink of sleep these three
weeks!'

`I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said
Alice, who was beginning to see its
meaning.

`And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the
wood,' continued the Pigeon, raising its
voice to a shriek, `and just as I was thinking
I should be free of them at last, they must
needs come wriggling down from the sky!
Ugh, Serpent!'

`But I'm not a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice.
`I'm a--I'm a--'

`Well! what are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can
see you're trying to invent something!'

`I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather
doubtfully, as she remembered the number
of changes she had gone through that day.

-20-

first; but she got used to it in a few minutes,
and began talking to herself, as usual.
`Come, there's half my plan done now! How
puzzling all these changes are! I'm never
sure what I'm going to be, from one minute
to another! However, I've got back to my
right size: the next thing is, to get into that
beautiful garden--how is that to be done, I
wonder?' As she said this, she came
suddenly upon an open place, with a little
house in it about four feet high. `Whoever
lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to
come upon them this size: why, I should
frighten them out of their wits!' So she
began nibbling at the righthand bit again,
and did not venture to go near the house till
she had brought herself down to nine inches
high.

Chapter VI Pig and Pepper

For a minute or two she stood looking at the
house, and wondering what to do next,
when suddenly a footman in livery came
running out of the wood--(she considered
him to be a footman because he was in
livery: otherwise, judging by his face only,
she would have called him a fish)--and
rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles.
It was opened by another footman in livery,
with a round face, and large eyes like a
frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had
powdered hair that curled all over their
heads. She felt very curious to know what it
was all about, and crept a little way out of
the wood to listen.

-21-

perhaps he can't help it,' she said to
herself; `his eyes are so very nearly at the
top of his head. But at any rate he might
answer questions.--How am I to get in?'
she repeated, aloud.

`I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till
tomorrow--'

At this moment the door of the house
opened, and a large plate came skimming
out, straight at the Footman's head: it just
grazed his nose, and broke to pieces
against one of the trees behind him.

`--or next day, maybe,' the Footman
continued in the same tone, exactly as if
nothing had happened.

`How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a
louder tone.

`Are you to get in at all?' said the Footman.
`That's the first question, you know.'

It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be
told so. `It's really dreadful,' she muttered to
herself, `the way all the creatures argue. It's
enough to drive one crazy!'

The Footman seemed to think this a good
opportunity for repeating his remark, with
variations. `I shall sit here,' he said, `on and
off, for days and days.'

`But what am I to do?' said Alice.

`Anything you like,' said the Footman, and
began whistling.

`Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said
Alice desperately: `he's perfectly idiotic!'
And she opened the door and went in.

The door led right into a large kitchen, which
was full of smoke from one end to the other:

-22-

`They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most
of 'em do.'

`I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very
politely, feeling quite pleased to have got
into a conversation.

`You don't know much,' said the Duchess;
`and that's a fact.'

Alice did not at all like the tone of this
remark, and thought it would be as well to
introduce some other subject of
conversation. While she was trying to fix on
one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off
the fire, and at once set to work throwing
everything within her reach at the Duchess
and the baby --the fire-irons came first;
then followed a shower of saucepans,
plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no
notice of them even when they hit her; and
the baby was howling so much already, that
it was quite impossible to say whether the
blows hurt it or not.

`Oh, please mind what you're doing!' cried
Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of
terror. `Oh, there goes his precious nose';
as an unusually large saucepan flew close
by it, and very nearly carried it off.

`If everybody minded their own business,'
the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, `the
world would go round a deal faster than it
does.'

`Which would not be an advantage,' said
Alice, who felt very glad to get an
opportunity of showing off a little of her
knowledge. `Just think of what work it would
make with the day and night! You see the
earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round
on its axis--'

`Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop
off her head!'

-23-

hurried out of the room. The cook threw a
frying-pan after her as she went out, but it
just missed her.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty,
as it was a queer-shaped little creature,
and held out its arms and legs in all
directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought
Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like
a steam-engine when she caught it, and
kept doubling itself up and straightening
itself out again, so that altogether, for the
first minute or two, it was as much as she
could do to hold it.

As soon as she had made out the proper
way of nursing it, (which was to twist it up
into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold
of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent
its undoing itself,) she carried it out into the
open air. `If I don't take this child away with
me,' thought Alice, `they're sure to kill it in a
day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it
behind?' She said the last words out loud,
and the little thing grunted in reply (it had left
off sneezing by this time). `Don't grunt,'
said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of
expressing yourself.'

The baby grunted again, and Alice looked
very anxiously into its face to see what was
the matter with it. There could be no doubt
that it had a very turn-up nose, much more
like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes
were getting extremely small for a baby:
altogether Alice did not like the look of the
thing at all. `But perhaps it was only
sobbing,' she thought, and looked into its
eyes again, to see if there were any tears.

No, there were no tears. `If you're going to
turn into a pig, my dear,' said Alice,
seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do with
you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed
again (or grunted, it was impossible to say
which), and they went on for some while in

-24-

tell me, please, which way I ought to go from
here?'

`That depends a good deal on where you
want to get to,' said the Cat.

`I don't much care where--' said Alice.

`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,'
said the Cat.

`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice
added as an explanation.

`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if
you only walk long enough.'

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so
she tried another question. `What sort of
people live about here?'

`In that direction,' the Cat said, waving its
right paw round, `lives a Hatter: and in that
direction,' waving the other paw, `lives a
March Hare. Visit either you like: they're
both mad.'

`But I don't want to go among mad people,'
Alice remarked.

`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat:
`we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'

`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

-25-

minute or two she walked on in the direction
in which the March Hare was said to live.
`I've seen hatters before,' she said to
herself; `the March Hare will be much the
most interesting, and perhaps as this is May
it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad
as it was in March.' As she said this, she
looked up, and there was the Cat again,
sitting on a branch of a tree.

`Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.

`I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you
wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so
suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'

`All right,' said the Cat; and this time it
vanished quite slowly, beginning with the
end of the tail, and ending with the grin,
which remained some time after the rest of
it had gone.

`Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,'
thought Alice; `but a grin without a cat! It's
the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!'

She had not gone much farther before she
came in sight of the house of the March
Hare: she thought it must be the right house,
because the chimneys were shaped like
ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It
was so large a house, that she did not like to
go nearer till she had nibbled some more of
the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised
herself to about two feet high: even then she

-26-

said Alice angrily.

`It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without
being invited,' said the March Hare.

`I didn't know it was your table,' said Alice;
`it's laid for a great many more than three.'

`Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He
had been looking at Alice for some time
with great curiosity, and this was his first
speech.

`You should learn not to make personal
remarks,' Alice said with some severity;
`it's very rude.'

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on
hearing this; but all he said was, `Why is a
raven like a writing-desk?'

`Come, we shall have some fun now!'
thought Alice. `I'm glad they've begun
asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,'
she added aloud.

`Do you mean that you think you can find out
the answer to it?' said the March Hare.

`Exactly so,' said Alice.

`Then you should say what you mean,' the
March Hare went on.

`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at
least I mean what I say--that's the same
thing, you know.'

`Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter.
`You might just as well say that "I see what I
eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'

-27-

have put it in with the bread-knife.'

The March Hare took the watch and looked
at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup
of tea, and looked at it again: but he could
think of nothing better to say than his first
remark, `It was the best butter, you know.'

Alice had been looking over his shoulder
with some curiosity. `What a funny watch!'
she remarked. `It tells the day of the month,
and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'

`Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does
your watch tell you what year it is?'

`Of course not,' Alice replied very readily:
`but that's because it stays the same year
for such a long time together.'

`Which is just the case with mine,' said the
Hatter.

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's
remark seemed to have no sort of meaning
in it, and yet it was certainly English. `I don't
quite understand you,' she said, as politely
as she could.

`The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the
Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its
nose.

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently,
and said, without opening its eyes, `Of
course, of course; just what I was going to
remark myself.'

`Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the
Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

`No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the
answer?'

`I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.

-28-

just before he went mad, you know--'
(pointing with his tea spoon at the March
Hare,) `--it was at the great concert given
by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing


"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!"

You know the song, perhaps?'

`I've heard something like it,' said Alice.

`It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued,
`in this way:


"Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle--"'

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began
singing in its sleep `Twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that
they had to pinch it to make it stop.

`Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said
the Hatter, `when the Queen jumped up and
bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off
with his head!"'

`How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.

`And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a
mournful tone, `he won't do a thing I ask! It's
always six o'clock now.'

A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that
the reason so many tea-things are put out
here?' she asked.

`Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh:
`it's always tea-time, and we've no time to
wash the things between whiles.'

`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?'

-29-

Alice gently remarked; `they'd have been
ill.'

`So they were,' said the Dormouse; `very
ill.'

Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an
extraordinary ways of living would be like,
but it puzzled her too much, so she went on:
`But why did they live at the bottom of a
well?'

`Take some more tea,' the March Hare said
to Alice, very earnestly.

`I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an
offended tone, `so I can't take more.'

`You mean you can't take less,' said the
Hatter: `it's very easy to take more than
nothing.'

`Nobody asked your opinion,' said Alice.

`Who's making personal remarks now?' the
Hatter asked triumphantly.

Alice did not quite know what to say to this:
so she helped herself to some tea and
bread-and-butter, and then turned to the
Dormouse, and repeated her question.
`Why did they live at the bottom of a well?'

The Dormouse again took a minute or two
to think about it, and then said, `It was a
treacle-well.'

`There's no such thing!' Alice was
beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and
the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the
Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you can't be
civil, you'd better finish the story for
yourself.'

`No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly;
`I won't interrupt again. I dare say there may

-30-

`They were learning to draw,' the
Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its
eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and
they drew all manner of things--everything
that begins with an M--'

`Why with an M?' said Alice.

`Why not?' said the March Hare.

Alice was silent.

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this
time, and was going off into a doze; but, on
being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up
again with a little shriek, and went on: `--
that begins with an M, such as mouse-
traps, and the moon, and memory, and
muchness you know you say things are
"much of a muchness"--did you ever see
such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'

`Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very
much confused, `I don't think--'

`Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice
could bear: she got up in great disgust, and
walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep
instantly, and neither of the others took the
least notice of her going, though she looked
back once or twice, half hoping that they
would call after her: the last time she saw
them, they were trying to put the Dormouse
into the teapot.

-31-

`I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone;
`Seven jogged my elbow.'

On which Seven looked up and said,
`That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on
others!'

`You'd better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the
Queen say only yesterday you deserved to
be beheaded!'

`What for?' said the one who had spoken
first.

`That's none of your business, Two!' said
Seven.

`Yes, it is his business!' said Five, `and I'll
tell him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-
roots instead of onions.'

Seven flung down his brush, and had just
begun `Well, of all the unjust things--' when
his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she
stood watching them, and he checked
himself suddenly: the others looked round
also, and all of them bowed low.

`Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little
timidly, `why you are painting those roses?'

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at
Two. Two began in a low voice, `Why the
fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
have been a red rose-tree, and we put a
white one in by mistake; and if the Queen
was to find it out, we should all have our
heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss,
we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--
' At this moment Five, who had been
anxiously looking across the garden, called
out `The Queen! The Queen!' and the three
gardeners instantly threw themselves flat
upon their faces. There was a sound of
many footsteps, and Alice looked round,
eager to see the Queen.

-32-

`And who are these?' said the Queen,
pointing to the three gardeners who were
lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as
they were lying on their faces, and the
pattern on their backs was the same as the
rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
they were gardeners, or soldiers, or
courtiers, or three of her own children.

`How should I know?' said Alice, surprised
at her own courage. `It's no business of
mine.'

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and,
after glaring at her for a moment like a wild
beast, screamed `Off with her head! Off--'

`Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and
decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and
timidly said `Consider, my dear: she is only
a child!'

The Queen turned angrily away from him,
and said to the Knave `Turn them over!'

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one
foot.

`Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud
voice, and the three gardeners instantly
jumped up, and began bowing to the King,
the Queen, the royal children, and
everybody else.

-33-

`Very,' said Alice: `--where's the
Duchess?'

`Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low,
hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his
shoulder as he spoke, and then raised
himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to
her ear, and whispered `She's under
sentence of execution.'

`What for?' said Alice.

`Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit
asked.

`No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at
all a pity. I said "What for?"'

`She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit
began. Alice gave a little scream of
laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered
in a frightened tone. `The Queen will hear
you! You see, she came rather late, and the
Queen said--'

`Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a
voice of thunder, and people began running
about in all directions, tumbling up against
each other; however, they got settled down
in a minute or two, and the game began.
Alice thought she had never seen such a
curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all
ridges and furrows; the balls were live
hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes,
and the soldiers had to double themselves
up and to stand on their hands and feet, to
make the arches.

The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in
managing her flamingo: she succeeded in
getting its body tucked away, comfortably
enough, under her arm, with its legs
hanging down, but generally, just as she
had got its neck nicely straightened out, and
was going to give the hedgehog a blow with
its head, it would twist itself round and look

-34-

puzzled her very much at first, but, after
watching it a minute or two, she made it out
to be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the
Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to
talk to.'

`How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as
soon as there was mouth enough for it to
speak with.

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and
then nodded. `It's no use speaking to it,' she
thought, `till its ears have come, or at least
one of them.' In another minute the whole
head appeared, and then Alice put down
her flamingo, and began an account of the
game, feeling very glad she had someone
to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that
there was enough of it now in sight, and no
more of it appeared.

`I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice
began, in rather a complaining tone, `and
they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear
oneself speak--and they don't seem to
have any rules in particular; at least, if there
are, nobody attends to them--and you've
no idea how confusing it is all the things
being alive; for instance, there's the arch
I've got to go through next walking about at
the other end of the ground--and I should
have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just
now, only it ran away when it saw mine
coming!'

`How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat
in a low voice.

`Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--
' Just then she noticed that the Queen was
close behind her, listening: so she went on,
`--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while
finishing the game.'

The Queen smiled and passed on.

-35-

another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice
an excellent opportunity for croqueting one
of them with the other: the only difficulty
was, that her flamingo was gone across to
the other side of the garden, where Alice
could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to
fly up into a tree.

By the time she had caught the flamingo and
brought it back, the fight was over, and both
the hedgehogs were out of sight: `but it
doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all
the arches are gone from this side of the
ground.' So she tucked it away under her
arm, that it might not escape again, and
went back for a little more conversation with
her friend.

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she
was surprised to find quite a large crowd
collected round it: there was a dispute going
on between the executioner, the King, and
the Queen, who were all talking at once,
while all the rest were quite silent, and
looked very uncomfortable.

The moment Alice appeared, she was
appealed to by all three to settle the
question, and they repeated their
arguments to her, though, as they all spoke
at once, she found it very hard indeed to
make out exactly what they said.

The executioner's argument was, that you
couldn't cut off a head unless there was a

-36-

have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup
does very well without--Maybe it's always
pepper that makes people hot-tempered,'
she went on, very much pleased at having
found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar
that makes them sour--and camomile that
makes them bitter--and--and barley-
sugar and such things that make children
sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew
that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it,
you know--'

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this
time, and was a little startled when she
heard her voice close to her ear. `You're
thinking about something, my dear, and that
makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just
now what the moral of that is, but I shall
remember it in a bit.'

`Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to
remark.

`Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess.
`Everything's got a moral, if only you can
find it.' And she squeezed herself up closer
to Alice's side as she spoke.

Alice did not much like keeping so close to
her: first, because the Duchess was very
ugly; and secondly, because she was
exactly the right height to rest her chin upon
Alice's shoulder, and it was an
uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did
not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as

-37-

seemed ready to agree to everything that
Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine
near here. And the moral of that is--"The
more there is of mine, the less there is of
yours."'

`Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not
attended to this last remark, `it's a
vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.'

`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess;
`and the moral of that is--"Be what you
would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put
more simply--"Never imagine yourself not
to be otherwise than what it might appear to
others that what you were or might have
been was not otherwise than what you had
been would have appeared to them to be
otherwise."'

`I think I should understand that better,' Alice
said very politely, `if I had it written down:
but I can't quite follow it as you say it.'

`That's nothing to what I could say if I
chose,' the Duchess replied, in a pleased
tone.

`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any
longer than that,' said Alice.

`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the
Duchess. `I make you a present of
everything I've said as yet.'

`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm
glad they don't give birthday presents like
that!' But she did not venture to say it out
loud.

`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with
another dig of her sharp little chin.

`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for
she was beginning to feel a little worried.

-38-

Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath,
and said to Alice, `Have you seen the Mock
Turtle yet?'

`No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a
Mock Turtle is.'

`It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made
from,' said the Queen.

`I never saw one, or heard of one,' said
Alice.

`Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he
shall tell you his history,'

As they walked off together, Alice heard the
King say in a low voice, to the company
generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come,
That's a good thing!' she said to herself, for
she had felt quite unhappy at the number of
executions the Queen had ordered.

They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying
fast asleep in the sun. (If you don't know
what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) `Up,
lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this
young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to
hear his history. I must go back and see
after some executions I have ordered'; and
she walked off, leaving Alice alone with the
Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of
the creature, but on the whole she thought it
would be quite as safe to stay with it as to
go after that savage Queen: so she waited.

-39-

silence, broken only by an occasional
exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon,
and the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock
Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and
saying, `Thank you, sir, for your interesting
story,' but she could not help thinking there
must be more to come, so she sat still and
said nothing.

`When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went
on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing
a little now and then, `we went to school in
the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we
used to call him Tortoise--'

`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't
one?' Alice asked.

`We called him Tortoise because he taught
us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily: `really you
are very dull!'

`You ought to be ashamed of yourself for
asking such a simple question,' added the
Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and
looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink
into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the
Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow! Don't be
all day about it!' and he went on in these
words:

`Yes, we went to school in the sea, though
you mayn't believe it--'

`I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.

`You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

`Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon,
before Alice could speak again. The Mock
Turtle went on.

`We had the best of educations--in fact, we
went to school every day--'

`I've been to a day-school, too,' said Alice;

-40-

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any
more questions about it, so she turned to
the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had
you to learn?'

`Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle
replied, counting off the subjects on his
flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,
with Seaography: then Drawling--the
Drawling-master was an old conger-eel,
that used to come once a week: He taught
us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in
Coils.'

`What was that like?' said Alice.

`Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock
Turtle said: `I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon
never learnt it.'

`Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to
the Classics master, though. He was an old
crab, he was.'

`I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said
with a sigh: `he taught Laughing and Grief,
they used to say.'

`So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon,
sighing in his turn; and both creatures hid
their faces in their paws.

`And how many hours a day did you do
lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to change
the subject.

`Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock
Turtle: `nine the next, and so on.'

`What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

`That's the reason they're called lessons,'
the Gryphon remarked: `because they
lessen from day to day.'

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she

-41-

`That generally takes some time,'
interrupted the Gryphon.

`--you advance twice--'

`Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the
Gryphon.

`Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance
twice, set to partners--'

`--change lobsters, and retire in same
order,' continued the Gryphon.

`Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on,
`you throw the--'

`The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a
bound into the air.

`--as far out to sea as you can--'

`Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

`Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the
Mock Turtle, capering wildly about.

`Change lobster's again!' yelled the
Gryphon at the top of its voice.

`Back to land again, and that's all the first
figure,' said the Mock Turtle, suddenly
dropping his voice; and the two creatures,
who had been jumping about like mad
things all this time, sat down again very
sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

`It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice
timidly.

`Would you like to see a little of it?' said the
Mock Turtle.

`Very much indeed,' said Alice.

`Come, let's try the first figure!' said the

-42-

sea!"
But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and
gave a look
askance
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he
would not join the
dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not,
would not join
the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not,
could not join
the dance.
`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly
friend replied.
"There is another shore, you know, upon the
other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to
France
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come
and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will
you join the
dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you,
won't you join the
dance?"'

`Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to
watch,' said Alice, feeling very glad that it
was over at last: `and I do so like that
curious song about the whiting!'

`Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle,
`they--you've seen them, of course?'

-43-

Alice looked down at them, and considered
a little before she gave her answer. `They're
done with blacking, I believe.'

`Boots and shoes under the sea,' the
Gryphon went on in a deep voice, `are done
with a whiting. Now you know.'

`And what are they made of?' Alice asked
in a tone of great curiosity.

`Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon
replied rather impatiently: `any shrimp could
have told you that.'

`If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose
thoughts were still running on the song, `I'd
have said to the porpoise, "Keep back,
please: we don't want you with us!"'

`They were obliged to have him with them,'
the Mock Turtle said: `no wise fish would go
anywhere without a porpoise.'

`Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of
great surprise.

`Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why,
if a fish came to me, and told me he was
going a journey, I should say "With what
porpoise?"'

`Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.

`I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied
in an offended tone. And the Gryphon
added `Come, let's hear some of your
adventures.'

`I could tell you my adventures--beginning
from this morning,' said Alice a little timidly:
`but it's no use going back to yesterday,
because I was a different person then.'

`Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.

-44-

nose
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out
his toes.'

When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a
lark,
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the
Shark,
But, when the tide rises and sharks are
around,
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.

`That's different from what I used to say
when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.

`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock
Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon nonsense.'

Alice said nothing; she had sat down with
her face in her hands, wondering if anything
would ever happen in a natural way again.

`I should like to have it explained,' said the
Mock Turtle.

`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon
hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'

`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle
persisted. `How could he turn them out with
his nose, you know?'

`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said;
but was dreadfully puzzled by the whole
thing, and longed to change the subject.

-45-

`Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
`Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
Game, or any other dish?
Who would not give all else for two p
ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'

`Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the
Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it,
when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' was
heard in the distance.

`Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking
Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without
waiting for the end of the song.

`What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but
the Gryphon only answered `Come on!' and
ran the faster, while more and more faintly
came, carried on the breeze that followed
them, the melancholy words:


`Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

Chapter XI Who Stole the Tarts?

The King and Queen of Hearts were seated
on their throne when they arrived, with a
great crowd assembled about them--all
sorts of little birds and beasts, as well as the
whole pack of cards: the Knave was

-46-

few little girls of her age knew the meaning
of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have
done just as well.

The twelve jurors were all writing very busily
on slates. `What are they doing?' Alice
whispered to the Gryphon. `They can't have
anything to put down yet, before the trial's
begun.'

`They're putting down their names,' the
Gryphon whispered in reply, `for fear they
should forget them before the end of the
trial.'

`Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud,
indignant voice, but she stopped hastily, for
the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in the
court!' and the King put on his spectacles
and looked anxiously round, to make out
who was talking.

Alice could see, as well as if she were
looking over their shoulders, that all the
jurors were writing down `stupid things!' on
their slates, and she could even make out
that one of them didn't know how to spell
`stupid,' and that he had to ask his
neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their
slates'll be in before the trial's over!'
thought Alice.

One of the jurors had a pencil that
squeaked. This of course, Alice could not
stand, and she went round the court and got
behind him, and very soon found an
opportunity of taking it away. She did it so
quickly that the poor little juror (it was Bill,
the Lizard) could not make out at all what
had become of it; so, after hunting all about
for it, he was obliged to write with one
finger for the rest of the day; and this was of
very little use, as it left no mark on the slate.

`Herald, read the accusation!' said the
King.

-47-

`You ought to have finished,' said the King.
`When did you begin?'

The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who
had followed him into the court, arm-in-arm
with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I
think it was,' he said.

`Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.

`Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.

`Write that down,' the King said to the jury,
and the jury eagerly wrote down all three
dates on their slates, and then added them
up, and reduced the answer to shillings and
pence.

`Take off your hat,' the King said to the
Hatter.

`It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.

`Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the
jury, who instantly made a memorandum of
the fact.

`I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an
explanation; `I've none of my own. I'm a
hatter.'

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and
began staring at the Hatter, who turned pale
and fidgeted.

-48-

angrily, `or I'll have you executed, whether
you're nervous or not.'

`I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter
began, in a trembling voice, `--and I hadn't
begun my tea--not above a week or so--
and what with the bread-and-butter getting
so thin--and the twinkling of the tea--'

`The twinkling of the what?' said the King.

`It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.

`Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said
the King sharply. `Do you take me for a
dunce? Go on!'

`I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and
most things twinkled after that--only the
March Hare said--'

`I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a
great hurry.

`You did!' said the Hatter.

`I deny it!' said the March Hare.

`He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that
part.'

`Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the
Hatter went on, looking anxiously round to
see if he would deny it too: but the
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast
asleep.

`After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some
more bread-and-butter--'

`But what did the Dormouse say?' one of
the jury asked.

`That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.

`You must remember,' remarked the King,

-49-

to put his shoes on.

`--and just take his head off outside,' the
Queen added to one of the officers: but the
Hatter was out of sight before the officer
could get to the door.

`Call the next witness!' said the King.

The next witness was the Duchess's cook.
She carried the pepper-box in her hand,
and Alice guessed who it was, even before
she got into the court, by the way the people
near the door began sneezing all at once.

`Give your evidence,' said the King.

`Shan't,' said the cook.

The King looked anxiously at the White
Rabbit, who said in a low voice, `Your
Majesty must cross-examine this witness.'

`Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a
melancholy air, and, after folding his arms
and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice,
`What are tarts made of?'

`Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.

`Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.

`Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked
out. `Behead that Dormouse! Turn that

-50-

`Oh, I beg your pardon!' she exclaimed in a
tone of great dismay, and began picking
them up again as quickly as she could, for
the accident of the goldfish kept running in
her head, and she had a vague sort of idea
that they must be collected at once and put
back into the jury-box, or they would die.

`The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in
a very grave voice, `until all the jurymen are
back in their proper places all,' he repeated
with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice
as he said do.

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that,
in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head
downwards, and the poor little thing was
waving its tail about in a melancholy way,
being quite unable to move. She soon got it
out again, and put it right; `not that it
signifies much,' she said to herself; `I
should think it would be quite as much use in
the trial one way up as the other.'

As soon as the jury had a little recovered
from the shock of being upset, and their
slates and pencils had been found and
handed back to them, they set to work very
diligently to write out a history of the
accident, all except the Lizard, who
seemed too much overcome to do anything
but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into
the roof of the court.

`What do you know about this business?' the
King said to Alice.

`Nothing,' said Alice.

`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.

`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.

`That's very important,' the King said,
turning to the jury. They were just beginning
to write this down on their slates, when the

-51-

`It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the
King.

`Then it ought to be Number One,' said
Alice.

The King turned pale, and shut his note-
book hastily. `Consider your verdict,' he
said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.

`There's more evidence to come yet,
please your Majesty,' said the White
Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this
paper has just been picked up.'

`What's in it?' said the Queen.

`I haven't opened it yet,' said the White
Rabbit, `but it seems to be a letter, written
by the prisoner to--to somebody.'

`It must have been that,' said the King,
`unless it was written to nobody, which isn't
usual, you know.'

`Who is it directed to?' said one of the
jurymen.

`It isn't directed at all,' said the White
Rabbit; `in fact, there's nothing written on
the outside.' He unfolded the paper as he
spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all:
it's a set of verses.'

`Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?'
asked another of they jurymen.

`No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit,
`and that's the queerest thing about it.' (The
jury all looked puzzled.)

`He must have imitated somebody else's
hand,' said the King. (The jury all
brightened up again.)

`Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I

-52-

Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
Don't let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.'

`That's the most important piece of
evidence we've heard yet,' said the King,
rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'

`If any one of them can explain it,' said
Alice, (she had grown so large in the last
few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of
interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. I
don't believe there's an atom of meaning in
it.'

The jury all wrote down on their slates, `She
doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning
in it,' but none of them attempted to explain
the paper.

`If there's no meaning in it,' said the King,
`that saves a world of trouble, you know, as
we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't
know,' he went on, spreading out the
verses on his knee, and looking at them with
one eye; `I seem to see some meaning in
them, after all. "--Said I could not swim--"
you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning
to the Knave.

The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look
like it?' he said. (Which he certainly did
NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)

`All right, so far,' said the King, and he went
on muttering over the verses to himself: `"We
know it to be true--" that's the jury, of

-53-

grown to her full size by this time.) `You're
nothing but a pack of cards!'

At this the whole pack rose up into the air,
and came flying down upon her: she gave a
little scream, half of fright and half of anger,
and tried to beat them off, and found herself
lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of
her sister, who was gently brushing away
some dead leaves that had fluttered down
from the trees upon her face.

`Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why,
what a long sleep you've had!'

`Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said
Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she
could remember them, all these strange
Adventures of hers that you have just been
reading about; and when she had finished,
her sister kissed her, and said, `It was a
curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run
in to your tea; it's getting late.' So Alice got
up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as
well she might, what a wonderful dream it
had been.

But her sister sat still just as she left her,
leaning her head on her hand, watching the
setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all
her wonderful Adventures, till she too began
dreaming after a fashion, and this was her
dream:

First, she dreamed of little Alice herself,

-54-

same little sister of hers would, in the after-
time, be herself a grown woman; and how
she would keep, through all her riper years,
the simple and loving heart of her childhood:
and how she would gather about her other
little children, and make their eyes bright
and eager with many a strange tale,
perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland
of long ago: and how she would feel with all
their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in
all their simple joys, remembering her own
child-life, and the happy summer days.

THE END

-55-