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Chapter 1: THE EARLY MARRIED LIFE OF
THE MORELS
Chapter 2: THE BIRTH OF PAUL, AND
ANOTHER BATTLE
Chapter 3: THE CASTING OFF OF
MORE-THE TAKING ON OF WILLIAM
Chapter 4: THE YOUNG LIFE OF PAUL
Chapter 5: PAUL LAUNCHES INTO LIFE
Chapter 6: DEATH IN THE FAMILY
Chapter 7: LAD-AND-GIRL LOVE
Chapter 8: STRIFE IN LOVE
Chapter 9: DEFEAT OF MIRIAM
Chapter 10: CLARA
Chapter 11: THE TEST ON MIRIAM
Chapter 12: PASSION
Chapter 13: BAXTER DAWES
Chapter 14: THE RELEASE
Chapter 15: DERELICT

Chapter 1: THE EARLY MARRIED LIFE OF
THE MORELS

"THE BOTTOMS" succeeded to "Hell Row".
Hell Row was a block of thatched, bulging
cottages that stood by the brookside on
Greenhill Lane. There lived the colliers who
worked in the little gin-pits two fields away.
The brook ran under the alder trees,
scarcely soiled by these small mines,
whose coal was drawn to the surface by
donkeys that plodded wearily in a circle
round a gin. And all over the countryside
were these same pits, some of which had
been worked in the time of Charles II, the
few colliers and the donkeys burrowing

down like ants into the earth, making queer
mounds and little black places among the
corn-fields and the meadows. And the
cottages of these coal-miners, in blocks
and pairs here and there, together with odd
farms and homes of the stockingers,
straying over the parish, formed the village
of Bestwood.

Then, some sixty years ago, a sudden
change took place. The gin-pits were
elbowed aside by the large mines of the
financiers. The coal and iron field of
Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire was
discovered. Carston, Waite and Co.
appeared. Amid tremendous excitement,
Lord Palmerston formally opened the
company's first mine at Spinney Park, on
the edge of Sherwood Forest.

About this time the notorious Hell Row,
which through growing old had acquired an
evil reputation, was burned down, and
much dirt was cleansed away.

Carston, Waite & Co. found they had struck
on a good thing, so, down the valleys of the
brooks from Selby and Nuttall, new mines
were sunk, until soon there were six pits
working. From Nuttall, high up on the
sandstone among the woods, the railway
ran, past the ruined priory of the
Carthusians and past Robin Hood's Well,
down to Spinney Park, then on to Minton, a
large mine among corn-fields; from Minton

-1-

across the farmlands of the valleyside to
Bunker's Hill, branching off there, and
running north to Beggarlee and Selby, that
looks over at Crich and the hills of
Derbyshire: six mines like black studs on
the countryside, linked by a loop of fine
chain, the railway.

To accommodate the regiments of miners,
Carston, Waite and Co. built the Squares,
great quadrangles of dwellings on the
hillside of Bestwood, and then, in the brook
valley, on the site of Hell Row, they erected
the Bottoms.

The Bottoms consisted of six blocks of
miners' dwellings, two rows of three, like
the dots on a blank-six domino, and twelve
houses in a block. This double row of
dwellings sat at the foot of the rather sharp
slope from Bestwood, and looked out, from
the attic windows at least, on the slow climb
of the valley towards Selby.

The houses themselves were substantial
and very decent. One could walk all round,
seeing little front gardens with auriculas and
saxifrage in the shadow of the bottom
block, sweet-williams and pinks in the
sunny top block; seeing neat front windows,
little porches, little privet hedges, and
dormer windows for the attics. But that was
outside; that was the view on to the
uninhabited parlours of all the colliers'
wives. The dwelling-room, the kitchen, was
at the back of the house, facing inward
between the blocks, looking at a scrubby
back garden, and then at the ash-pits. And
between the rows, between the long lines of
ash-pits, went the alley, where the children
played and the women gossiped and the
men smoked. So, the actual conditions of
living in the Bottoms, that was so well built
and that looked so nice, were quite
unsavoury because people must live in the
kitchen, and the kitchens opened on to that

nasty alley of ash-pits.

Mrs. Morel was not anxious to move into the
Bottoms, which was already twelve years
old and on the downward path, when she
descended to it from Bestwood. But it was
the best she could do. Moreover, she had
an end house in one of the top blocks, and
thus had only one neighbour; on the other
side an extra strip of garden. And, having an
end house, she enjoyed a kind of
aristocracy among the other women of the
"between" houses, because her rent was
five shillings and sixpence instead of five
shillings a week. But this superiority in
station was not much consolation to Mrs.
Morel.

She was thirty-one years old, and had been
married eight years. A rather small woman,
of delicate mould but resolute bearing, she
shrank a little from the first contact with the
Bottoms women. She came down in the
July, and in the September expected her
third baby.

Her husband was a miner. They had only
been in their new home three weeks when
the wakes, or fair, began. Morel, she knew,
was sure to make a holiday of it. He went off
early on the Monday morning, the day of the
fair. The two children were highly excited.
William, a boy of seven, fled off immediately
after breakfast, to prowl round the wakes
ground, leaving Annie, who was only five, to
whine all morning to go also. Mrs. Morel did
her work. She scarcely knew her
neighbours yet, and knew no one with
whom to trust the little girl. So she promised
to take her to the wakes after dinner.

William appeared at half-past twelve. He
was a very active lad, fair-haired, freckled,
with a touch of the Dane or Norwegian
about him.

-2-

"Can I have my dinner, mother?" he cried,
rushing in with his cap on. "'Cause it begins
at half-past one, the man says so."

"You can have your dinner as soon as it's
done," replied the mother.

"Isn't it done?" he cried, his blue eyes
staring at her in indignation. "Then I'm goin'
be-out it."

"You'll do nothing of the sort. It will be done
in five minutes. It is only half-past twelve."

"They'll be beginnin'," the boy half cried,
half shouted.

"You won't die if they do," said the mother.
"Besides, it's only half-past twelve, so
you've a full hour."

The lad began hastily to lay the table, and
directly the three sat down. They were
eating batter-pudding and jam, when the
boy jumped off his chair and stood perfectly
stiff. Some distance away could be heard
the first small braying of a merry-go-round,
and the tooting of a horn. His face quivered
as he looked at his mother.

"I told you!" he said, running to the dresser
for his cap.

"Take your pudding in your hand—and it's
only five past one, so you were wrong—you
haven't got your twopence," cried the
mother in a breath.

The boy came back, bitterly disappointed,
for his twopence, then went off without a
word.

"I want to go, I want to go," said Annie,
beginning to cry.

"Well, and you shall go, whining, wizzening

little stick!" said the mother. And later in the
afternoon she trudged up the hill under the
tall hedge with her child. The hay was
gathered from the fields, and cattle were
turned on to the eddish. It was warm,
peaceful.

Mrs. Morel did not like the wakes. There
were two sets of horses, one going by
steam, one pulled round by a pony; three
organs were grinding, and there came odd
cracks of pistol-shots, fearful screeching of
the cocoanut man's rattle, shouts of the
Aunt Sally man, screeches from the peep-
show lady. The mother perceived her son
gazing enraptured outside the Lion Wallace
booth, at the pictures of this famous lion that
had killed a negro and maimed for life two
white men. She left him alone, and went to
get Annie a spin of toffee. Presently the lad
stood in front of her, wildly excited.

"You never said you was coming—isn't the' a
lot of things? that lion's killed three men-l've
spent my tuppence-an' look here."

He pulled from his pocket two egg-cups,
with pink moss-roses on them.

"I got these from that stall where y'ave ter
get them marbles in them holes. An' I got
these two in two goes-'aepenny a go-
they've got moss-roses on, look here. I
wanted these."

She knew he wanted them for her.

"H'm!" she said, pleased. "They ARE
pretty!"

"Shall you carry 'em, 'cause I'm frightened
o' breakin' 'em?"

He was tipful of excitement now she had
come, led her about the ground, showed
her everything. Then, at the peep-show,

-3-

she explained the pictures, in a sort of story,
to which he listened as if spellbound. He
would not leave her. All the time he stuck
close to her, bristling with a small boy's
pride of her. For no other woman looked
such a lady as she did, in her little black
bonnet and her cloak. She smiled when she
saw women she knew. When she was tired
she said to her son:

"Well, are you coming now, or later?"

"Are you goin' a'ready?" he cried, his face
full of reproach.

"Already? It is past four, I know."

"What are you goin' a'ready for?" he
lamented.

"You needn't come if you don't want," she
said.

And she went slowly away with her little girl,
whilst her son stood watching her, cut to the
heart to let her go, and yet unable to leave
the wakes. As she crossed the open ground
in front of the Moon and Stars she heard
men shouting, and smelled the beer, and
hurried a little, thinking her husband was
probably in the bar.

At about half-past six her son came home,
tired now, rather pale, and somewhat
wretched. He was miserable, though he did
not know it, because he had let her go
alone. Since she had gone, he had not
enjoyed his wakes.

"Has my dad been?" he asked.

"No," said the mother.

"He's helping to wait at the Moon and Stars.
I seed him through that black tin stuff wi'
holes in, on the window, wi' his sleeves

rolled up."

"Ha!" exclaimed the mother shortly. "He's
got no money. An' he'll be satisfied if he
gets his 'lowance, whether they give him
more or not."

When the light was fading, and Mrs. Morel
could see no more to sew, she rose and
went to the door. Everywhere was the
sound of excitement, the restlessness of the
holiday, that at last infected her. She went
out into the side garden. Women were
coming home from the wakes, the children
hugging a white lamb with green legs, or a
wooden horse. Occasionally a man lurched
past, almost as full as he could carry.
Sometimes a good husband came along
with his family, peacefully. But usually the
women and children were alone. The stay-
at-home mothers stood gossiping at the
corners of the alley, as the twilight sank,
folding their arms under their white aprons.

Mrs. Morel was alone, but she was used to
it. Her son and her little girl slept upstairs;
so, it seemed, her home was there behind
her, fixed and stable. But she felt wretched
with the coming child. The world seemed a
dreary place, where nothing else would
happen for her—at least until William grew up.
But for herself, nothing but this dreary
endurance—till the children grew up. And the
children! She could not afford to have this
third. She did not want it. The father was
serving beer in a public house, swilling
himself drunk. She despised him, and was
tied to him. This coming child was too much
for her. If it were not for William and Annie,
she was sick of it, the struggle with poverty
and ugliness and meanness.

She went into the front garden, feeling too
heavy to take herself out, yet unable to stay
indoors. The heat suffocated her. And
looking ahead, the prospect of her life

-4-

made her feel as if she were buried alive.

The front garden was a small square with a
privet hedge. There she stood, trying to
soothe herself with the scent of flowers and
the fading, beautiful evening. Opposite her
small gate was the stile that led uphill, under
the tall hedge between the burning glow of
the cut pastures. The sky overhead
throbbed and pulsed with light. The glow
sank quickly off the field; the earth and the
hedges smoked dusk. As it grew dark, a
ruddy glare came out on the hilltop, and out
of the glare the diminished commotion of
the fair.

Sometimes, down the trough of darkness
formed by the path under the hedges, men
came lurching home. One young man
lapsed into a run down the steep bit that
ended the hill, and went with a crash into the
stile. Mrs. Morel shuddered. He picked
himself up, swearing viciously, rather
pathetically, as if he thought the stile had
wanted to hurt him.

She went indoors, wondering if things were
never going to alter. She was beginning by
now to realise that they would not. She
seemed so far away from her girlhood, she
wondered if it were the same person
walking heavily up the back garden at the
Bottoms as had run so lightly up the
breakwater at Sheerness ten years before.

"What have I to do with it?" she said to
herself. "What have I to do with all this? Even
the child I am going to have! It doesn't seem
as if I were taken into account."

Sometimes life takes hold of one, carries
the body along, accomplishes one's
history, and yet is not real, but leaves
oneself as it were slurred over.

"I wait," Mrs. Morel said to herself—"I wait,

and what I wait for can never come."

Then she straightened the kitchen, lit the
lamp, mended the fire, looked out the
washing for the next day, and put it to soak.
After which she sat down to her sewing.
Through the long hours her needle flashed
regularly through the stuff. Occasionally she
sighed, moving to relieve herself. And all the
time she was thinking how to make the most
of what she had, for the children's sakes.

At half-past eleven her husband came. His
cheeks were very red and very shiny above
his black moustache. His head nodded
slightly. He was pleased with himself.

"Oh! Oh! waitin' for me, lass? I've bin 'elpin'
Anthony, an' what's think he's gen me?
Nowt b'r a lousy hae'f-crown, an' that's ivry
penny—-"

"He thinks you've made the rest up in beer,"
she said shortly.

"An' I 'aven't—that I 'aven't. You b'lieve me,
I've 'ad very little this day, I have an' all." His
voice went tender. "Here, an' I browt thee a
bit o' brandysnap, an' a cocoanut for th'
children." He laid the gingerbread and the
cocoanut, a hairy object, on the table. "Nay,
tha niver said thankyer for nowt i' thy life, did
ter?"

As a compromise, she picked up the
cocoanut and shook it, to see if it had any
milk.

"It's a good 'un, you may back yer life o'
that. I got it fra' Bill Hodgkisson. 'Bill,' I says,
'tha non wants them three nuts, does ter?
Arena ter for gi'ein' me one for my bit of a
lad an' wench?' 'I ham, Walter, my lad,' 'e
says; 'ta'e which on 'em ter's a mind.' An'
so I took one, an' thanked 'im. I didn't like
ter shake it afore 'is eyes, but 'e says,

-5-

'Tha'd better ma'e sure it's a good un,
Walt.' An' so, yer see, I knowed it was. He's
a nice chap, is Bill Hodgkisson, e's a nice
chap!"

"A man will part with anything so long as
he's drunk, and you're drunk along with
him," said Mrs. Morel.

"Eh, tha mucky little 'ussy, who's drunk, I
sh'd like ter know?" said Morel. He was
extraordinarily pleased with himself,
because of his day's helping to wait in the
Moon and Stars. He chattered on.

Mrs. Morel, very tired, and sick of his
babble, went to bed as quickly as possible,
while he raked the fire.

Mrs. Morel came of a good old burgher
family, famous independents who had
fought with Colonel Hutchinson, and who
remained stout Congregationalists. Her
grandfather had gone bankrupt in the lace-
market at a time when so many lace-
manufacturers were ruined in Nottingham.
Her father, George Coppard, was an
engineer—a large, handsome, haughty man,
proud of his fair skin and blue eyes, but
more proud still of his integrity. Gertrude
resembled her mother in her small build. But
her temper, proud and unyielding, she had
from the Coppards.

George Coppard was bitterly galled by his
own poverty. He became foreman of the
engineers in the dockyard at Sheerness.
Mrs. Morel—Gertrude—was the second
daughter. She favoured her mother, loved
her mother best of all; but she had the
Coppards' clear, defiant blue eyes and
their broad brow. She remembered to have
hated her father's overbearing manner
towards her gentle, humorous, kindly-
souled mother. She remembered running
over the breakwater at Sheerness and

finding the boat. She remembered to have
been petted and flattered by all the men
when she had gone to the dockyard, for she
was a delicate, rather proud child. She
remembered the funny old mistress, whose
assistant she had become, whom she had
loved to help in the private school. And she
still had the Bible that John Field had given
her. She used to walk home from chapel
with John Field when she was nineteen. He
was the son of a well-to-do tradesman,
had been to college in London, and was to
devote himself to business.

She could always recall in detail a
September Sunday afternoon, when they
had sat under the vine at the back of her
father's house. The sun came through the
chinks of the vine-leaves and made
beautiful patterns, like a lace scarf, falling
on her and on him. Some of the leaves were
clean yellow, like yellow flat flowers.

"Now sit still," he had cried. "Now your hair, I
don't know what it IS like! It's as bright as
copper and gold, as red as burnt copper,
and it has gold threads where the sun
shines on it. Fancy their saying it's brown.
Your mother calls it mouse-colour."

She had met his brilliant eyes, but her clear
face scarcely showed the elation which
rose within her.

"But you say you don't like business," she
pursued.

"I don't. I hate it!" he cried hotly.

"And you would like to go into the ministry,"
she half implored.

"I should. I should love it, if I thought I could
make a first-rate preacher."

"Then why don't you—why DON'T you?" Her

-6-

voice rang with defiance. "If I were a man,
nothing would stop me."

She held her head erect. He was rather
timid before her.

"But my father's so stiff-necked. He means
to put me into the business, and I know he'll
do it."

"But if you're a MAN?" she had cried.

"Being a man isn't everything," he replied,
frowning with puzzled helplessness.

Now, as she moved about her work at the
Bottoms, with some experience of what
being a man meant, she knew that it was
NOT everything.

At twenty, owing to her health, she had left
Sheerness. Her father had retired home to
Nottingham. John Field's father had been
ruined; the son had gone as a teacher in
Norwood. She did not hear of him until, two
years later, she made determined inquiry.
He had married his landlady, a woman of
forty, a widow with property.

And still Mrs. Morel preserved John Field's
Bible. She did not now believe him to be—
Well, she understood pretty well what he
might or might not have been. So she
preserved his Bible, and kept his memory
intact in her heart, for her own sake. To her
dying day, for thirty-five years, she did not
speak of him.

When she was twenty-three years old, she
met, at a Christmas party, a young man
from the Erewash Valley. Morel was then
twenty-seven years old. He was well set-
up, erect, and very smart. He had wavy
black hair that shone again, and a vigorous
black beard that had never been shaved.
His cheeks were ruddy, and his red, moist

mouth was noticeable because he laughed
so often and so heartily. He had that rare
thing, a rich, ringing laugh. Gertrude
Coppard had watched him, fascinated. He
was so full of colour and animation, his
voice ran so easily into comic grotesque, he
was so ready and so pleasant with
everybody. Her own father had a rich fund of
humour, but it was satiric. This man's was
different: soft, non-intellectual, warm, a
kind of gambolling.

She herself was opposite. She had a
curious, receptive mind which found much
pleasure and amusement in listening to
other folk. She was clever in leading folk to
talk. She loved ideas, and was considered
very intellectual. What she liked most of all
was an argument on religion or philosophy
or politics with some educated man. This
she did not often enjoy. So she always had
people tell her about themselves, finding
her pleasure so.

In her person she was rather small and
delicate, with a large brow, and dropping
bunches of brown silk curls. Her blue eyes
were very straight, honest, and searching.
She had the beautiful hands of the
Coppards. Her dress was always subdued.
She wore dark blue silk, with a peculiar
silver chain of silver scallops. This, and a
heavy brooch of twisted gold, was her only
ornament. She was still perfectly intact,
deeply religious, and full of beautiful
candour.

Walter Morel seemed melted away before
her. She was to the miner that thing of
mystery and fascination, a lady. When she
spoke to him, it was with a southern
pronunciation and a purity of English which
thrilled him to hear. She watched him. He
danced well, as if it were natural and joyous
in him to dance. His grandfather was a
French refugee who had married an English

-7-

barmaid—if it had been a marriage. Gertrude
Coppard watched the young miner as he
danced, a certain subtle exultation like
glamour in his movement, and his face the
flower of his body, ruddy, with tumbled
black hair, and laughing alike whatever
partner he bowed above. She thought him
rather wonderful, never having met anyone
like him. Her father was to her the type of all
men. And George Coppard, proud in his
bearing, handsome, and rather bitter; who
preferred theology in reading, and who
drew near in sympathy only to one man, the
Apostle Paul; who was harsh in
government, and in familiarity ironic; who
ignored all sensuous pleasure:—he was very
different from the miner. Gertrude herself
was rather contemptuous of dancing; she
had not the slightest inclination towards that
accomplishment, and had never learned
even a Roger de Coverley. She was
puritan, like her father, high-minded, and
really stern. Therefore the dusky, golden
softness of this man's sensuous flame of
life, that flowed off his flesh like the flame
from a candle, not baffled and gripped into
incandescence by thought and spirit as her
life was, seemed to her something
wonderful, beyond her.

He came and bowed above her. A warmth
radiated through her as if she had drunk
wine.

"Now do come and have this one wi' me,"
he said caressively. "It's easy, you know.
I'm pining to see you dance."

She had told him before she could not
dance. She glanced at his humility and
smiled. Her smile was very beautiful. It
moved the man so that he forgot everything.

"No, I won't dance," she said softly. Her
words came clean and ringing.

Not knowing what he was doing—he often
did the right thing by instinct—he sat beside
her, inclining reverentially.

"But you mustn't miss your dance," she
reproved.

"Nay, I don't want to dance that—it's not one
as I care about."

"Yet you invited me to it."

He laughed very heartily at this.

"I never thought o' that. Tha'rt not long in
taking the curl out of me."

It was her turn to laugh quickly.

"You don't look as if you'd come much
uncurled," she said.

"I'm like a pig's tail, I curl because I canna
help it," he laughed, rather boisterously.

"And you are a miner!" she exclaimed in
surprise.

"Yes. I went down when I was ten."

She looked at him in wondering dismay.

"When you were ten! And wasn't it very
hard?" she asked.

"You soon get used to it. You live like th'
mice, an' you pop out at night to see what's
going on."

"It makes me feel blind," she frowned.

"Like a moudiwarp!" he laughed. "Yi, an'
there's some chaps as does go round like
moudiwarps." He thrust his face forward in
the blind, snout-like way of a mole,
seeming to sniff and peer for direction.

-8-

"They dun though!" he protested naively.
"Tha niver seed such a way they get in. But
tha mun let me ta'e thee down some time,
an' tha can see for thysen."

She looked at him, startled. This was a new
tract of life suddenly opened before her.
She realised the life of the miners,
hundreds of them toiling below earth and
coming up at evening. He seemed to her
noble. He risked his life daily, and with
gaiety. She looked at him, with a touch of
appeal in her pure humility.

"Shouldn't ter like it?" he asked tenderly.
"'Appen not, it 'ud dirty thee."

She had never been "thee'd" and "thou'd"
before.

The next Christmas they were married, and
for three months she was perfectly happy:
for six months she was very happy.

He had signed the pledge, and wore the
blue ribbon of a tee-totaller: he was nothing
if not showy. They lived, she thought, in his
own house. It was small, but convenient
enough, and quite nicely furnished, with
solid, worthy stuff that suited her honest
soul. The women, her neighbours, were
rather foreign to her, and Morel's mother
and sisters were apt to sneer at her ladylike
ways. But she could perfectly well live by
herself, so long as she had her husband
close.

Sometimes, when she herself wearied of
love-talk, she tried to open her heart
seriously to him. She saw him listen
deferentially, but without understanding.
This killed her efforts at a finer intimacy, and
she had flashes of fear. Sometimes he was
restless of an evening: it was not enough for
him just to be near her, she realised. She
was glad when he set himself to little jobs.

He was a remarkably handy man—could
make or mend anything. So she would say:

"I do like that coal-rake of your mother's—it is
small and natty."

"Does ter, my wench? Well, I made that, so I
can make thee one! "

"What! why, it's a steel one!"

"An' what if it is! Tha s'lt ha'e one very
similar, if not exactly same."

She did not mind the mess, nor the
hammering and noise. He was busy and
happy.

But in the seventh month, when she was
brushing his Sunday coat, she felt papers in
the breast pocket, and, seized with a
sudden curiosity, took them out to read. He
very rarely wore the frock-coat he was
married in: and it had not occurred to her
before to feel curious concerning the
papers. They were the bills of the household
furniture, still unpaid.

"Look here," she said at night, after he was
washed and had had his dinner. "I found
these in the pocket of your wedding-coat.
Haven't you settled the bills yet?"

"No. I haven't had a chance."

"But you told me all was paid. I had better go
into Nottingham on Saturday and settle
them. I don't like sitting on another man's
chairs and eating from an unpaid table."

He did not answer.

"I can have your bank-book, can't I?"

"Tha can ha'e it, for what good it'll be to
thee."

-9-

"I thought—-" she began. He had told her he
had a good bit of money left over. But she
realised it was no use asking questions.
She sat rigid with bitterness and
indignation.

The next day she went down to see his
mother.

"Didn't you buy the furniture for Walter?" she
asked.

"Yes, I did," tartly retorted the elder woman.

"And how much did he give you to pay for
it?"

The elder woman was stung with fine
indignation.

"Eighty pound, if you're so keen on
knowin'," she replied.

"Eighty pounds! But there are forty-two
pounds still owing!"

"I can't help that."

"But where has it all gone?"

"You'll find all the papers, I think, if you
look—beside ten pound as he owed me, an'
six pound as the wedding cost down here."

"Six pounds!" echoed Gertrude Morel. It
seemed to her monstrous that, after her
own father had paid so heavily for her
wedding, six pounds more should have
been squandered in eating and drinking at
Walter's parents' house, at his expense.

"And how much has he sunk in his houses?"
she asked.

"His houses—which houses?"

Gertrude Morel went white to the lips. He
had told her the house he lived in, and the
next one, was his own.

"I thought the house we live in—-" she began.

"They're my houses, those two," said the
mother-in-law. "And not clear either. It's as
much as I can do to keep the mortgage
interest paid."

Gertrude sat white and silent. She was her
father now.

"Then we ought to be paying you rent," she
said coldly.

"Walter is paying me rent," replied the
mother.

"And what rent?" asked Gertrude.

"Six and six a week," retorted the mother.

It was more than the house was worth.
Gertrude held her head erect, looked
straight before her.

"It is lucky to be you," said the elder woman,
bitingly, "to have a husband as takes all the
worry of the money, and leaves you a free
hand."

The young wife was silent.

She said very little to her husband, but her
manner had changed towards him.
Something in her proud, honourable soul
had crystallised out hard as rock.

When October came in, she thought only of
Christmas. Two years ago, at Christmas,
she had met him. Last Christmas she had
married him. This Christmas she would
bear him a child.

-10-

"You don't dance yourself, do you, missis?"
asked her nearest neighbour, in October,
when there was great talk of opening a
dancing-class over the Brick and Tile Inn at
Bestwood.

"No—I never had the least inclination to," Mrs.
Morel replied.

"Fancy! An' how funny as you should ha'
married your Mester. You know he's quite a
famous one for dancing."

"I didn't know he was famous," laughed
Mrs. Morel.

"Yea, he is though! Why, he ran that dancing-
class in the Miners' Arms club-room for
over five year."

"Did he?"

"Yes, he did." The other woman was
defiant. "An' it was thronged every
Tuesday, and Thursday, an' Sat'day—an'
there WAS carryin's-on, accordin' to all
accounts."

This kind of thing was gall and bitterness to
Mrs. Morel, and she had a fair share of it.
The women did not spare her, at first; for
she was superior, though she could not help
it.

He began to be rather late in coming home.

"They're working very late now, aren't
they?" she said to her washer-woman.

"No later than they allers do, I don't think. But
they stop to have their pint at Ellen's, an'
they get talkin', an' there you are! Dinner
stone cold—an' it serves 'em right."

"But Mr. Morel does not take any drink."

The woman dropped the clothes, looked at
Mrs. Morel, then went on with her work,
saying nothing.

Gertrude Morel was very ill when the boy
was born. Morel was good to her, as good
as gold. But she felt very lonely, miles away
from her own people. She felt lonely with
him now, and his presence only made it
more intense.

The boy was small and frail at first, but he
came on quickly. He was a beautiful child,
with dark gold ringlets, and dark-blue eyes
which changed gradually to a clear grey. His
mother loved him passionately. He came
just when her own bitterness of disillusion
was hardest to bear; when her faith in life
was shaken, and her soul felt dreary and
lonely. She made much of the child, and the
father was jealous.

At last Mrs. Morel despised her husband.
She turned to the child; she turned from the
father. He had begun to neglect her; the
novelty of his own home was gone. He had
no grit, she said bitterly to herself. What he
felt just at the minute, that was all to him. He
could not abide by anything. There was
nothing at the back of all his show.

There began a battle between the husband
and wife—a fearful, bloody battle that ended
only with the death of one. She fought to
make him undertake his own
responsibilities, to make him fulfill his
obligations. But he was too different from
her. His nature was purely sensuous, and
she strove to make him moral, religious.
She tried to force him to face things. He
could not endure it—it drove him out of his
mind.

While the baby was still tiny, the father's
temper had become so irritable that it was
not to be trusted. The child had only to give a

-11-

little trouble when the man began to bully. A
little more, and the hard hands of the collier
hit the baby. Then Mrs. Morel loathed her
husband, loathed him for days; and he went
out and drank; and she cared very little what
he did. Only, on his return, she scathed him
with her satire.

The estrangement between them caused
him, knowingly or unknowingly, grossly to
offend her where he would not have done.

William was only one year old, and his
mother was proud of him, he was so pretty.
She was not well off now, but her sisters
kept the boy in clothes. Then, with his little
white hat curled with an ostrich feather, and
his white coat, he was a joy to her, the
twining wisps of hair clustering round his
head. Mrs. Morel lay listening, one Sunday
morning, to the chatter of the father and
child downstairs. Then she dozed off. When
she came downstairs, a great fire glowed in
the grate, the room was hot, the breakfast
was roughly laid, and seated in his
armchair, against the chimney-piece, sat
Morel, rather timid; and standing between
his legs, the child—cropped like a sheep,
with such an odd round poll—looking
wondering at her; and on a newspaper
spread out upon the hearthrug, a myriad of
crescent-shaped curls, like the petals of a
marigold scattered in the reddening
firelight.

Mrs. Morel stood still. It was her first baby.
She went very white, and was unable to
speak.

"What dost think o' 'im?" Morel laughed
uneasily.

She gripped her two fists, lifted them, and
came forward. Morel shrank back.

"I could kill you, I could!" she said. She

choked with rage, her two fists uplifted.

"Yer non want ter make a wench on 'im,"
Morel said, in a frightened tone, bending his
head to shield his eyes from hers. His
attempt at laughter had vanished.

The mother looked down at the jagged,
close-clipped head of her child. She put her
hands on his hair, and stroked and fondled
his head.

"Oh—my boy!" she faltered. Her lip trembled,
her face broke, and, snatching up the child,
she buried her face in his shoulder and
cried painfully. She was one of those
women who cannot cry; whom it hurts as it
hurts a man. It was like ripping something
out of her, her sobbing.

Morel sat with his elbows on his knees, his
hands gripped together till the knuckles
were white. He gazed in the fire, feeling
almost stunned, as if he could not breathe.

Presently she came to an end, soothed the
child and cleared away the breakfast-table.
She left the newspaper, littered with curls,
spread upon the hearthrug. At last her
husband gathered it up and put it at the back
of the fire. She went about her work with
closed mouth and very quiet. Morel was
subdued. He crept about wretchedly, and
his meals were a misery that day. She
spoke to him civilly, and never alluded to
what he had done. But he felt something
final had happened.

Afterwards she said she had been silly, that
the boy's hair would have had to be cut,
sooner or later. In the end, she even brought
herself to say to her husband it was just as
well he had played barber when he did. But
she knew, and Morel knew, that that act had
caused something momentous to take
place in her soul. She remembered the

-12-

scene all her life, as one in which she had
suffered the most intensely.

This act of masculine clumsiness was the
spear through the side of her love for Morel.
Before, while she had striven against him
bitterly, she had fretted after him, as if he
had gone astray from her. Now she ceased
to fret for his love: he was an outsider to her.
This made life much more bearable.

Nevertheless, she still continued to strive
with him. She still had her high moral sense,
inherited from generations of Puritans. It
was now a religious instinct, and she was
almost a fanatic with him, because she
loved him, or had loved him. If he sinned,
she tortured him. If he drank, and lied, was
often a poltroon, sometimes a knave, she
wielded the lash unmercifully.

The pity was, she was too much his
opposite. She could not be content with the
little he might be; she would have him the
much that he ought to be. So, in seeking to
make him nobler than he could be, she
destroyed him. She injured and hurt and
scarred herself, but she lost none of her
worth. She also had the children.

He drank rather heavily, though not more
than many miners, and always beer, so that
whilst his health was affected, it was never
injured. The week-end was his chief
carouse. He sat in the Miners' Arms until
turning-out time every Friday, every
Saturday, and every Sunday evening. On
Monday and Tuesday he had to get up and
reluctantly leave towards ten o'clock.
Sometimes he stayed at home on
Wednesday and Thursday evenings, or was
only out for an hour. He practically never had
to miss work owing to his drinking.

But although he was very steady at work, his
wages fell off. He was blab-mouthed, a

tongue-wagger. Authority was hateful to
him, therefore he could only abuse the pit-
managers. He would say, in the
Palmerston:

"Th' gaffer come down to our stall this
morning, an' 'e says, 'You know, Walter,
this 'ere'll not do. What about these props?'
An' I says to him, 'Why, what art talkin'
about? What d'st mean about th' props?'
'It'll never do, this 'ere,' 'e says. 'You'll be
havin' th' roof in, one o' these days.' An' I
says, 'Tha'd better stan' on a bit o' clunch,
then, an' hold it up wi' thy 'ead.' So 'e wor
that mad, 'e cossed an' 'e swore, an'
t'other chaps they did laugh." Morel was a
good mimic. He imitated the manager's fat,
squeaky voice, with its attempt at good
English.

"'I shan't have it, Walter. Who knows more
about it, me or you?' So I says, 'I've niver
fun out how much tha' knows, Alfred. It'll
'appen carry thee ter bed an' back."'

So Morel would go on to the amusement of
his boon companions. And some of this
would be true. The pit-manager was not an
educated man. He had been a boy along
with Morel, so that, while the two disliked
each other, they more or less took each
other for granted. But Alfred Charlesworth
did not forgive the butty these public-house
sayings. Consequently, although Morel was
a good miner, sometimes earning as much
as five pounds a week when he married, he
came gradually to have worse and worse
stalls, where the coal was thin, and hard to
get, and unprofitable.

Also, in summer, the pits are slack. Often,
on bright sunny mornings, the men are seen
trooping home again at ten, eleven, or
twelve o'clock. No empty trucks stand at the
pit-mouth. The women on the hillside look
across as they shake the hearthrug against

-13-

the fence, and count the wagons the engine
is taking along the line up the valley. And the
children, as they come from school at
dinner-time, looking down the fields and
seeing the wheels on the headstocks
standing, say:

"Minton's knocked off. My dad'll be at
home."

And there is a sort of shadow over all,
women and children and men, because
money will be short at the end of the week.

Morel was supposed to give his wife thirty
shillings a week, to provide everything—rent,
food, clothes, clubs, insurance, doctors.
Occasionally, if he were flush, he gave her
thirty-five. But these occasions by no
means balanced those when he gave her
twenty-five. In winter, with a decent stall, the
miner might earn fifty or fifty-five shillings a
week. Then he was happy. On Friday night,
Saturday, and Sunday, he spent royally,
getting rid of his sovereign or thereabouts.
And out of so much, he scarcely spared the
children an extra penny or bought them a
pound of apples. It all went in drink. In the
bad times, matters were more worrying, but
he was not so often drunk, so that Mrs.
Morel used to say:

"I'm not sure I wouldn't rather be short, for
when he's flush, there isn't a minute of
peace."

If he earned forty shillings he kept ten; from
thirty-five he kept five; from thirty-two he
kept four; from twenty-eight he kept three;
from twenty-four he kept two; from twenty
he kept one-and-six; from eighteen he kept
a shilling; from sixteen he kept sixpence. He
never saved a penny, and he gave his wife
no opportunity of saving; instead, she had
occasionally to pay his debts; not public-
house debts, for those never were passed

on to the women, but debts when he had
bought a canary, or a fancy walking-stick.

At the wakes time Morel was working
badly, and Mrs. Morel was trying to save
against her confinement. So it galled her
bitterly to think he should be out taking his
pleasure and spending money, whilst she
remained at home, harassed. There were
two days' holiday. On the Tuesday morning
Morel rose early. He was in good spirits.
Quite early, before six o'clock, she heard
him whistling away to himself downstairs.
He had a pleasant way of whistling, lively
and musical. He nearly always whistled
hymns. He had been a choir-boy with a
beautiful voice, and had taken solos in
Southwell cathedral. His morning whistling
alone betrayed it.

His wife lay listening to him tinkering away
in the garden, his whistling ringing out as he
sawed and hammered away. It always gave
her a sense of warmth and peace to hear
him thus as she lay in bed, the children not
yet awake, in the bright early morning,
happy in his man's fashion.

At nine o'clock, while the children with bare
legs and feet were sitting playing on the
sofa, and the mother was washing up, he
came in from his carpentry, his sleeves
rolled up, his waistcoat hanging open. He
was still a good-looking man, with black,
wavy hair, and a large black moustache. His
face was perhaps too much inflamed, and
there was about him a look almost of
peevishness. But now he was jolly. He went
straight to the sink where his wife was
washing up.

"What, are thee there!" he said boisterously.
"Sluthe off an' let me wesh mysen."

"You may wait till I've finished," said his
wife.

-14-

"Oh, mun I? An' what if I shonna?"

This good-humoured threat amused Mrs.
Morel.

"Then you can go and wash yourself in the
soft-water tub."

"Ha! I can' an' a', tha mucky little 'ussy."

With which he stood watching her a
moment, then went away to wait for her.

When he chose he could still make himself
again a real gallant. Usually he preferred to
go out with a scarf round his neck. Now,
however, he made a toilet. There seemed
so much gusto in the way he puffed and
swilled as he washed himself, so much
alacrity with which he hurried to the mirror in
the kitchen, and, bending because it was
too low for him, scrupulously parted his wet
black hair, that it irritated Mrs. Morel. He put
on a turn-down collar, a black bow, and
wore his Sunday tail-coat. As such, he
looked spruce, and what his clothes would
not do, his instinct for making the most of
his good looks would.

At half-past nine Jerry Purdy came to call
for his pal. Jerry was Morel's bosom friend,
and Mrs. Morel disliked him. He was a tall,
thin man, with a rather foxy face, the kind of
face that seems to lack eyelashes. He
walked with a stiff, brittle dignity, as if his
head were on a wooden spring. His nature
was cold and shrewd. Generous where he
intended to be generous, he seemed to be
very fond of Morel, and more or less to take
charge of him.

Mrs. Morel hated him. She had known his
wife, who had died of consumption, and
who had, at the end, conceived such a
violent dislike of her husband, that if he
came into her room it caused her

haemorrhage. None of which Jerry had
seemed to mind. And now his eldest
daughter, a girl of fifteen, kept a poor house
for him, and looked after the two younger
children.

"A mean, wizzen-hearted stick!" Mrs. Morel
said of him.

"I've never known Jerry mean in MY life,"
protested Morel. "A opener-handed and
more freer chap you couldn't find anywhere,
accordin' to my knowledge."

"Open-handed to you," retorted Mrs. Morel.
"But his fist is shut tight enough to his
children, poor things."

"Poor things! And what for are they poor
things, I should like to know."

But Mrs. Morel would not be appeased on
Jerry's score.

The subject of argument was seen, craning
his thin neck over the scullery curtain. He
caught Mrs. Morel's eye.

"Mornin', missis! Mester in?"

"Yes—he is."

Jerry entered unasked, and stood by the
kitchen doorway. He was not invited to sit
down, but stood there, coolly asserting the
rights of men and husbands.

"A nice day," he said to Mrs. Morel.

"Yes.

"Grand out this morning—grand for a walk."

"Do you mean YOU'RE going for a walk?"
she asked.

-15-

"Yes. We mean walkin' to Nottingham," he
replied.

"H'm!"

The two men greeted each other, both glad:
Jerry, however, full of assurance, Morel
rather subdued, afraid to seem too jubilant
in presence of his wife. But he laced his
boots quickly, with spirit. They were going
for a ten-mile walk across the fields to
Nottingham. Climbing the hillside from the
Bottoms, they mounted gaily into the
morning. At the Moon and Stars they had
their first drink, then on to the Old Spot. Then
a long five miles of drought to carry them
into Bulwell to a glorious pint of bitter. But
they stayed in a field with some haymakers
whose gallon bottle was full, so that, when
they came in sight of the city, Morel was
sleepy. The town spread upwards before
them, smoking vaguely in the midday glare,
fridging the crest away to the south with
spires and factory bulks and chimneys. In
the last field Morel lay down under an oak
tree and slept soundly for over an hour.
When he rose to go forward he felt queer.

The two had dinner in the Meadows, with
Jerry's sister, then repaired to the Punch
Bowl, where they mixed in the excitement of
pigeon-racing. Morel never in his life played
cards, considering them as having some
occult, malevolent power—"the devil's
pictures," he called them! But he was a
master of skittles and of dominoes. He took
a challenge from a Newark man, on skittles.
All the men in the old, long bar took sides,
betting either one way or the other. Morel
took off his coat. Jerry held the hat
containing the money. The men at the tables
watched. Some stood with their mugs in
their hands. Morel felt his big wooden ball
carefully, then launched it. He played havoc
among the nine-pins, and won half a crown,
which restored him to solvency.

By seven o'clock the two were in good
condition. They caught the 7.30 train home.

In the afternoon the Bottoms was
intolerable. Every inhabitant remaining was
out of doors. The women, in twos and
threes, bareheaded and in white aprons,
gossiped in the alley between the blocks.
Men, having a rest between drinks, sat on
their heels and talked. The place smelled
stale; the slate roofs glistered in the arid
heat.

Mrs. Morel took the little girl down to the
brook in the meadows, which were not
more than two hundred yards away. The
water ran quickly over stones and broken
pots. Mother and child leaned on the rail of
the old sheep-bridge, watching. Up at the
dipping-hole, at the other end of the
meadow, Mrs. Morel could see the naked
forms of boys flashing round the deep
yellow water, or an occasional bright figure
dart glittering over the blackish stagnant
meadow. She knew William was at the
dipping-hole, and it was the dread of her
life lest he should get drowned. Annie
played under the tall old hedge, picking up
alder cones, that she called currants. The
child required much attention, and the flies
were teasing.

The children were put to bed at seven
o'clock. Then she worked awhile.

When Walter Morel and Jerry arrived at
Bestwood they felt a load off their minds; a
railway journey no longer impended, so
they could put the finishing touches to a
glorious day. They entered the Nelson with
the satisfaction of returned travellers.

The next day was a work-day, and the
thought of it put a damper on the men's
spirits. Most of them, moreover, had spent
their money. Some were already rolling

-16-

dismally home, to sleep in preparation for
the morrow. Mrs. Morel, listening to their
mournful singing, went indoors. Nine
o'clock passed, and ten, and still "the pair"
had not returned. On a doorstep
somewhere a man was singing loudly, in a
drawl: "Lead, kindly Light." Mrs. Morel was
always indignant with the drunken men that
they must sing that hymn when they got
maudlin.

"As if 'Genevieve' weren't good enough,"
she said.

The kitchen was full of the scent of boiled
herbs and hops. On the hob a large black
saucepan steamed slowly. Mrs. Morel took
a panchion, a great bowl of thick red earth,
streamed a heap of white sugar into the
bottom, and then, straining herself to the
weight, was pouring in the liquor.

Just then Morel came in. He had been very
jolly in the Nelson, but coming home had
grown irritable. He had not quite got over the
feeling of irritability and pain, after having
slept on the ground when he was so hot;
and a bad conscience afflicted him as he
neared the house. He did not know he was
angry. But when the garden gate resisted
his attempts to open it, he kicked it and
broke the latch. He entered just as Mrs.
Morel was pouring the infusion of herbs out
of the saucepan. Swaying slightly, he
lurched against the table. The boiling liquor
pitched. Mrs. Morel started back.

"Good gracious," she cried, "coming home
in his drunkenness!"

"Comin' home in his what?" he snarled, his
hat over his eye.

Suddenly her blood rose in a jet.

"Say you're NOT drunk!" she flashed.

She had put down her saucepan, and was
stirring the sugar into the beer. He dropped
his two hands heavily on the table, and
thrust his face forwards at her.

"'Say you're not drunk,'" he repeated. "Why,
nobody but a nasty little bitch like you 'ud
'ave such a thought."

He thrust his face forward at her.

"There's money to bezzle with, if there's
money for nothing else."

"I've not spent a two-shillin' bit this day," he
said.

"You don't get as drunk as a lord on
nothing," she replied. "And," she cried,
flashing into sudden fury, "if you've been
sponging on your beloved Jerry, why, let
him look after his children, for they need it."

"It's a lie, it's a lie. Shut your face, woman."

They were now at battle-pitch. Each forgot
everything save the hatred of the other and
the battle between them. She was fiery and
furious as he. They went on till he called her
a liar.

"No," she cried, starting up, scarce able to
breathe. "Don't call me that—you, the most
despicable liar that ever walked in shoe-
leather." She forced the last words out of
suffocated lungs.

"You're a liar!" he yelled, banging the table
with his fist. "You're a liar, you're a liar."

She stiffened herself, with clenched fists.

"The house is filthy with you," she cried.

"Then get out on it—it's mine. Get out on it!"
he shouted. "It's me as brings th' money

-17-

whoam, not thee. It's my house, not thine.
Then ger out on't—ger out on't!"

"And I would," she cried, suddenly shaken
into tears of impotence. "Ah, wouldn't I,
wouldn't I have gone long ago, but for those
children. Ay, haven't I repented not going
years ago, when I'd only the one"—suddenly
drying into rage. "Do you think it's for YOU I
stop—do you think I'd stop one minute for
YOU?"

"Go, then," he shouted, beside himself.
"Go!"

"No!" She faced round. "No," she cried
loudly, "you shan't have it ALL your own
way; you shan't do ALL you like. I've got
those children to see to. My word," she
laughed, "I should look well to leave them to
you."

"Go," he cried thickly, lifting his fist. He was
afraid of her. "Go!"

"I should be only too glad. I should laugh,
laugh, my lord, if I could get away from you,"
she replied.

He came up to her, his red face, with its
bloodshot eyes, thrust forward, and gripped
her arms. She cried in fear of him, struggled
to be free. Coming slightly to himself,
panting, he pushed her roughly to the outer
door, and thrust her forth, slotting the bolt
behind her with a bang. Then he went back
into the kitchen, dropped into his armchair,
his head, bursting full of blood, sinking
between his knees. Thus he dipped
gradually into a stupor, from exhaustion and
intoxication.

The moon was high and magnificent in the
August night. Mrs. Morel, seared with
passion, shivered to find herself out there in
a great white light, that fell cold on her, and

gave a shock to her inflamed soul. She
stood for a few moments helplessly staring
at the glistening great rhubarb leaves near
the door. Then she got the air into her
breast. She walked down the garden path,
trembling in every limb, while the child
boiled within her. For a while she could not
control her consciousness; mechanically
she went over the last scene, then over it
again, certain phrases, certain moments
coming each time like a brand red-hot
down on her soul; and each time she
enacted again the past hour, each time the
brand came down at the same points, till the
mark was burnt in, and the pain burnt out,
and at last she came to herself. She must
have been half an hour in this delirious
condition. Then the presence of the night
came again to her. She glanced round in
fear. She had wandered to the side garden,
where she was walking up and down the
path beside the currant bushes under the
long wall. The garden was a narrow strip,
bounded from the road, that cut transversely
between the blocks, by a thick thorn hedge.

She hurried out of the side garden to the
front, where she could stand as if in an
immense gulf of white light, the moon
streaming high in face of her, the moonlight
standing up from the hills in front, and filling
the valley where the Bottoms crouched,
almost blindingly. There, panting and half
weeping in reaction from the stress, she
murmured to herself over and over again:
"The nuisance! the nuisance!"

She became aware of something about
her. With an effort she roused herself to see
what it was that penetrated her
consciousness. The tall white lilies were
reeling in the moonlight, and the air was
charged with their perfume, as with a
presence. Mrs. Morel gasped slightly in
fear. She touched the big, pallid flowers on
their petals, then shivered. They seemed to

-18-

be stretching in the moonlight. She put her
hand into one white bin: the gold scarcely
showed on her fingers by moonlight. She
bent down to look at the binful of yellow
pollen; but it only appeared dusky. Then she
drank a deep draught of the scent. It almost
made her dizzy.

Mrs. Morel leaned on the garden gate,
looking out, and she lost herself awhile. She
did not know what she thought. Except for a
slight feeling of sickness, and her
consciousness in the child, herself melted
out like scent into the shiny, pale air. After a
time the child, too, melted with her in the
mixing-pot of moonlight, and she rested
with the hills and lilies and houses, all swum
together in a kind of swoon.

When she came to herself she was tired for
sleep. Languidly she looked about her; the
clumps of white phlox seemed like bushes
spread with linen; a moth ricochetted over
them, and right across the garden.
Following it with her eye roused her. A few
whiffs of the raw, strong scent of phlox
invigorated her. She passed along the path,
hesitating at the white rose-bush. It smelled
sweet and simple. She touched the white
ruffles of the roses. Their fresh scent and
cool, soft leaves reminded her of the
morning-time and sunshine. She was very
fond of them. But she was tired, and wanted
to sleep. In the mysterious out-of-doors she
felt forlorn.

There was no noise anywhere. Evidently the
children had not been wakened, or had
gone to sleep again. A train, three miles
away, roared across the valley. The night
was very large, and very strange, stretching
its hoary distances infinitely. And out of the
silver-grey fog of darkness came sounds
vague and hoarse: a corncrake not far off,
sound of a train like a sigh, and distant
shouts of men.

Her quietened heart beginning to beat
quickly again, she hurried down the side
garden to the back of the house. Softly she
lifted the latch; the door was still bolted, and
hard against her. She rapped gently,
waited, then rapped again. She must not
rouse the children, nor the neighbours. He
must be asleep, and he would not wake
easily. Her heart began to burn to be
indoors. She clung to the door-handle. Now
it was cold; she would take a chill, and in her
present condition!

Putting her apron over her head and her
arms, she hurried again to the side garden,
to the window of the kitchen. Leaning on the
sill, she could just see, under the blind, her
husband's arms spread out on the table,
and his black head on the board. He was
sleeping with his face lying on the table.
Something in his attitude made her feel
tired of things. The lamp was burning
smokily; she could tell by the copper colour
of the light. She tapped at the window more
and more noisily. Almost it seemed as if the
glass would break. Still he did not wake up.

After vain efforts, she began to shiver,
partly from contact with the stone, and from
exhaustion. Fearful always for the unborn
child, she wondered what she could do for
warmth. She went down to the coal-house,
where there was an old hearthrug she had
carried out for the rag-man the day before.
This she wrapped over her shoulders. It was
warm, if grimy. Then she walked up and
down the garden path, peeping every now
and then under the blind, knocking, and
telling herself that in the end the very strain
of his position must wake him.

At last, after about an hour, she rapped long
and low at the window. Gradually the sound
penetrated to him. When, in despair, she
had ceased to tap, she saw him stir, then lift
his face blindly. The labouring of his heart

-19-

hurt him into consciousness. She rapped
imperatively at the window. He started
awake. Instantly she saw his fists set and
his eyes glare. He had not a grain of
physical fear. If it had been twenty burglars,
he would have gone blindly for them. He
glared round, bewildered, but prepared to
fight.

"Open the door, Walter," she said coldly.

His hands relaxed. It dawned on him what
he had done. His head dropped, sullen and
dogged. She saw him hurry to the door,
heard the bolt chock. He tried the latch. It
opened—and there stood the silver-grey
night, fearful to him, after the tawny light of
the lamp. He hurried back.

When Mrs. Morel entered, she saw him
almost running through the door to the stairs.
He had ripped his collar off his neck in his
haste to be gone ere she came in, and there
it lay with bursten button-holes. It made her
angry.

She warmed and soothed herself. In her
weariness forgetting everything, she moved
about at the little tasks that remained to be
done, set his breakfast, rinsed his pit-
bottle, put his pit-clothes on the hearth to
warm, set his pit-boots beside them, put
him out a clean scarf and snap-bag and two
apples, raked the fire, and went to bed. He
was already dead asleep. His narrow black
eyebrows were drawn up in a sort of
peevish misery into his forehead while his
cheeks' down-strokes, and his sulky
mouth, seemed to be saying: "I don't care
who you are nor what you are, I SHALL have
my own way."

Mrs. Morel knew him too well to look at him.
As she unfastened her brooch at the mirror,
she smiled faintly to see her face all
smeared with the yellow dust of lilies. She

brushed it off, and at last lay down. For
some time her mind continued snapping
and jetting sparks, but she was asleep
before her husband awoke from the first
sleep of his drunkenness.

Chapter 2: THE BIRTH OF PAUL, AND
ANOTHER BATTLE

AFTER such a scene as the last, Walter
Morel was for some days abashed and
ashamed, but he soon regained his old
bullying indifference. Yet there was a slight
shrinking, a diminishing in his assurance.
Physically even, he shrank, and his fine full
presence waned. He never grew in the least
stout, so that, as he sank from his erect,
assertive bearing, his physique seemed to
contract along with his pride and moral
strength.

But now he realised how hard it was for his
wife to drag about at her work, and, his
sympathy quickened by penitence,
hastened forward with his help. He came
straight home from the pit, and stayed in at
evening till Friday, and then he could not
remain at home. But he was back again by
ten o'clock, almost quite sober.

He always made his own breakfast. Being
a man who rose early and had plenty of time
he did not, as some miners do, drag his
wife out of bed at six o'clock. At five,
sometimes earlier, he woke, got straight
out of bed, and went downstairs. When she
could not sleep, his wife lay waiting for this
time, as for a period of peace. The only real
rest seemed to be when he was out of the
house.

He went downstairs in his shirt and then
struggled into his pit-trousers, which were
left on the hearth to warm all night. There
was always a fire, because Mrs. Morel
raked. And the first sound in the house was

-20-

the bang, bang of the poker against the
raker, as Morel smashed the remainder of
the coal to make the kettle, which was filled
and left on the hob, finally boil. His cup and
knife and fork, all he wanted except just the
food, was laid ready on the table on a
newspaper. Then he got his breakfast,
made the tea, packed the bottom of the
doors with rugs to shut out the draught, piled
a big fire, and sat down to an hour of joy. He
toasted his bacon on a fork and caught the
drops of fat on his bread; then he put the
rasher on his thick slice of bread, and cut off
chunks with a clasp-knife, poured his tea
into his saucer, and was happy. With his
family about, meals were never so
pleasant. He loathed a fork: it is a modern
introduction which has still scarcely reached
common people. What Morel preferred was
a clasp-knife. Then, in solitude, he ate and
drank, often sitting, in cold weather, on a
little stool with his back to the warm
chimney-piece, his food on the fender, his
cup on the hearth. And then he read the last
night's newspaper—what of it he
could—spelling it over laboriously. He
preferred to keep the blinds down and the
candle lit even when it was daylight; it was
the habit of the mine.

At a quarter to six he rose, cut two thick
slices of bread and butter, and put them in
the white calico snap-bag. He filled his tin
bottle with tea. Cold tea without milk or
sugar was the drink he preferred for the pit.
Then he pulled off his shirt, and put on his
pit-singlet, a vest of thick flannel cut low
round the neck, and with short sleeves like a
chemise.

Then he went upstairs to his wife with a cup
of tea because she was ill, and because it
occurred to him.

"I've brought thee a cup o' tea, lass," he
said.

"Well, you needn't, for you know I don't like
it," she replied.

"Drink it up; it'll pop thee off to sleep again."

She accepted the tea. It pleased him to see
her take it and sip it.

"I'll back my life there's no sugar in," she
said.

"Yi—there's one big 'un," he replied, injured.

"It's a wonder," she said, sipping again.

She had a winsome face when her hair was
loose. He loved her to grumble at him in this
manner. He looked at her again, and went,
without any sort of leave-taking. He never
took more than two slices of bread and
butter to eat in the pit, so an apple or an
orange was a treat to him. He always liked it
when she put one out for him. He tied a
scarf round his neck, put on his great, heavy
boots, his coat, with the big pocket, that
carried his snap-bag and his bottle of tea,
and went forth into the fresh morning air,
closing, without locking, the door behind
him. He loved the early morning, and the
walk across the fields. So he appeared at
the pit-top, often with a stalk from the
hedge between his teeth, which he chewed
all day to keep his mouth moist, down the
mine, feeling quite as happy as when he
was in the field.

Later, when the time for the baby grew
nearer, he would bustle round in his slovenly
fashion, poking out the ashes, rubbing the
fireplace, sweeping the house before he
went to work. Then, feeling very self-
righteous, he went upstairs.

"Now I'm cleaned up for thee: tha's no
'casions ter stir a peg all day, but sit and
read thy books."

-21-

Which made her laugh, in spite of her
indignation.

"And the dinner cooks itself?" she
answered.

"Eh, I know nowt about th' dinner."

"You'd know if there weren't any."

"Ay, 'appen so," he answered, departing.

When she got downstairs, she would find
the house tidy, but dirty. She could not rest
until she had thoroughly cleaned; so she
went down to the ash-pit with her dustpan.
Mrs. Kirk, spying her, would contrive to have
to go to her own coal-place at that minute.
Then, across the wooden fence, she would
call:

"So you keep wagging on, then?"

"Ay," answered Mrs. Morel deprecatingly.
"There's nothing else for it."

"Have you seen Hose?" called a very small
woman from across the road. It was Mrs.
Anthony, a black-haired, strange little body,
who always wore a brown velvet dress, tight
fitting.

"I haven't," said Mrs. Morel.

"Eh, I wish he'd come. I've got a copperful
of clothes, an' I'm sure I heered his bell."

"Hark! He's at the end."

The two women looked down the alley. At
the end of the Bottoms a man stood in a sort
of old-fashioned trap, bending over
bundles of cream-coloured stuff; while a
cluster of women held up their arms to him,
some with bundles. Mrs. Anthony herself
had a heap of creamy, undyed stockings

hanging over her arm.

"I've done ten dozen this week," she said
proudly to Mrs. Morel.

"T-t-t!" went the other. "I don't know how
you can find time."

"Eh!" said Mrs. Anthony. "You can find time
if you make time."

"I don't know how you do it," said Mrs.
Morel. "And how much shall you get for
those many?"

"Tuppence-ha'penny a dozen," replied the
other.

"Well," said Mrs. Morel. "I'd starve before I'd
sit down and seam twenty-four stockings
for twopence ha'penny."

"Oh, I don't know," said Mrs. Anthony. "You
can rip along with 'em."

Hose was coming along, ringing his bell.
Women were waiting at the yard-ends with
their seamed stockings hanging over their
arms. The man, a common fellow, made
jokes with them, tried to swindle them, and
bullied them. Mrs. Morel went up her yard
disdainfully.

It was an understood thing that if one
woman wanted her neighbour, she should
put the poker in the fire and bang at the back
of the fireplace, which, as the fires were
back to back, would make a great noise in
the adjoining house. One morning Mrs.
Kirk, mixing a pudding, nearly started out of
her skin as she heard the thud, thud, in her
grate. With her hands all floury, she rushed to
the fence.

"Did you knock, Mrs. Morel?"

-22-

"If you wouldn't mind, Mrs. Kirk."

Mrs. Kirk climbed on to her copper, got over
the wall on to Mrs. Morel's copper, and ran
in to her neighbour.

"Eh, dear, how are you feeling?" she cried
in concern.

"You might fetch Mrs. Bower," said Mrs.
Morel.

Mrs. Kirk went into the yard, lifted up her
strong, shrill voice, and called:

"Ag-gie—Ag-gie!"

The sound was heard from one end of the
Bottoms to the other. At last Aggie came
running up, and was sent for Mrs. Bower,
whilst Mrs. Kirk left her pudding and stayed
with her neighbour.

Mrs. Morel went to bed. Mrs. Kirk had Annie
and William for dinner. Mrs. Bower, fat and
waddling, bossed the house.

"Hash some cold meat up for the master's
dinner, and make him an apple-charlotte
pudding," said Mrs. Morel.

"He may go without pudding this day," said
Mrs. Bower.

Morel was not as a rule one of the first to
appear at the bottom of the pit, ready to
come up. Some men were there before four
o'clock, when the whistle blew loose-all;
but Morel, whose stall, a poor one, was at
this time about a mile and a half away from
the bottom, worked usually till the first mate
stopped, then he finished also. This day,
however, the miner was sick of the work. At
two o'clock he looked at his watch, by the
light of the green candle—he was in a safe
working—and again at half-past two. He was

hewing at a piece of rock that was in the
way for the next day's work. As he sat on his
heels, or kneeled, giving hard blows with
his pick, "Uszza—uszza!" he went.

"Shall ter finish, Sorry?" cried Barker, his
fellow butty.

"Finish? Niver while the world stands!"
growled Morel.

And he went on striking. He was tired.

"It's a heart-breaking job," said Barker.

But Morel was too exasperated, at the end
of his tether, to answer. Still he struck and
hacked with all his might.

"Tha might as well leave it, Walter," said
Barker. "It'll do to-morrow, without thee
hackin' thy guts out."

"I'll lay no b— finger on this to-morrow, Isr'el!"
cried Morel.

"Oh, well, if tha wunna, somebody else'll
ha'e to," said Israel.

Then Morel continued to strike.

"Hey-up there—LOOSE-A'!" cried the men,
leaving the next stall.

Morel continued to strike.

"Tha'll happen catch me up," said Barker,
departing.

When he had gone, Morel, left alone, felt
savage. He had not finished his job. He had
overworked himself into a frenzy. Rising,
wet with sweat, he threw his tool down,
pulled on his coat, blew out his candle, took
his lamp, and went. Down the main road the
lights of the other men went swinging. There

-23-

was a hollow sound of many voices. It was a
long, heavy tramp underground.

He sat at the bottom of the pit, where the
great drops of water fell plash. Many colliers
were waiting their turns to go up, talking
noisily. Morel gave his answers short and
disagreeable.

"It's rainin', Sorry," said old Giles, who had
had the news from the top.

Morel found one comfort. He had his old
umbrella, which he loved, in the lamp cabin.
At last he took his stand on the chair, and
was at the top in a moment. Then he handed
in his lamp and got his umbrella, which he
had bought at an auction for one-and-six.
He stood on the edge of the pit-bank for a
moment, looking out over the fields; grey
rain was falling. The trucks stood full of wet,
bright coal. Water ran down the sides of the
waggons, over the white "C.W. and Co.".
Colliers, walking indifferent to the rain,
were streaming down the line and up the
field, a grey, dismal host. Morel put up his
umbrella, and took pleasure from the
peppering of the drops thereon.

All along the road to Bestwood the miners
tramped, wet and grey and dirty, but their
red mouths talking with animation. Morel
also walked with a gang, but he said
nothing. He frowned peevishly as he went.
Many men passed into the Prince of Wales
or into Ellen's. Morel, feeling sufficiently
disagreeable to resist temptation, trudged
along under the dripping trees that overhung
the park wall, and down the mud of
Greenhill Lane.

Mrs. Morel lay in bed, listening to the rain,
and the feet of the colliers from Minton, their
voices, and the bang, bang of the gates as
they went through the stile up the field.

"There's some herb beer behind the pantry
door," she said. "Th' master'll want a drink,
if he doesn't stop."

But he was late, so she concluded he had
called for a drink, since it was raining. What
did he care about the child or her?

She was very ill when her children were
born.

"What is it?" she asked, feeling sick to
death.

"A boy."

And she took consolation in that. The
thought of being the mother of men was
warming to her heart. She looked at the
child. It had blue eyes, and a lot of fair hair,
and was bonny. Her love came up hot, in
spite of everything. She had it in bed with
her.

Morel, thinking nothing, dragged his way up
the garden path, wearily and angrily. He
closed his umbrella, and stood it in the sink;
then he sluthered his heavy boots into the
kitchen. Mrs. Bower appeared in the inner
doorway.

"Well," she said, "she's about as bad as she
can be. It's a boy childt."

The miner grunted, put his empty snap-bag
and his tin bottle on the dresser, went back
into the scullery and hung up his coat, then
came and dropped into his chair.

"Han yer got a drink?" he asked.

The woman went into the pantry. There was
heard the pop of a cork. She set the mug,
with a little, disgusted rap, on the table
before Morel. He drank, gasped, wiped his
big moustache on the end of his scarf,

-24-

drank, gasped, and lay back in his chair.
The woman would not speak to him again.
She set his dinner before him, and went
upstairs.

"Was that the master?" asked Mrs. Morel.

"I've gave him his dinner," replied Mrs.
Bower.

After he had sat with his arms on the
table—he resented the fact that Mrs. Bower
put no cloth on for him, and gave him a little
plate, instead of a full-sized dinner-
plate—he began to eat. The fact that his wife
was ill, that he had another boy, was nothing
to him at that moment. He was too tired; he
wanted his dinner; he wanted to sit with his
arms lying on the board; he did not like
having Mrs. Bower about. The fire was too
small to please him.

After he had finished his meal, he sat for
twenty minutes; then he stoked up a big fire.
Then, in his stockinged feet, he went
reluctantly upstairs. It was a struggle to face
his wife at this moment, and he was tired.
His face was black, and smeared with
sweat. His singlet had dried again, soaking
the dirt in. He had a dirty woollen scarf round
his throat. So he stood at the foot of the bed.

"Well, how are ter, then?" he asked.

"I s'll be all right," she answered.

"H'm!"

He stood at a loss what to say next. He was
tired, and this bother was rather a nuisance
to him, and he didn't quite know where he
was.

"A lad, tha says," he stammered.

She turned down the sheet and showed the

child.

"Bless him!" he murmured. Which made her
laugh, because he blessed by
rote—pretending paternal emotion, which he
did not feel just then.

"Go now," she said.

"I will, my lass," he answered, turning away.

Dismissed, he wanted to kiss her, but he
dared not. She half wanted him to kiss her,
but could not bring herself to give any sign.
She only breathed freely when he was gone
out of the room again, leaving behind him a
faint smell of pit-dirt.

Mrs. Morel had a visit every day from the
Congregational clergyman. Mr. Heaton was
young, and very poor. His wife had died at
the birth of his first baby, so he remained
alone in the manse. He was a Bachelor of
Arts of Cambridge, very shy, and no
preacher. Mrs. Morel was fond of him, and
he depended on her. For hours he talked to
her, when she was well. He became the
god-parent of the child.

Occasionally the minister stayed to tea with
Mrs. Morel. Then she laid the cloth early, got
out her best cups, with a little green rim, and
hoped Morel would not come too soon;
indeed, if he stayed for a pint, she would not
mind this day. She had always two dinners
to cook, because she believed children
should have their chief meal at midday,
whereas Morel needed his at five o'clock.
So Mr. Heaton would hold the baby, whilst
Mrs. Morel beat up a batter-pudding or
peeled the potatoes, and he, watching her
all the time, would discuss his next sermon.
His ideas were quaint and fantastic. She
brought him judiciously to earth. It was a
discussion of the wedding at Cana.

-25-

"When He changed the water into wine at
Cana," he said, "that is a symbol that the
ordinary life, even the blood, of the married
husband and wife, which had before been
uninspired, like water, became filled with
the Spirit, and was as wine, because, when
love enters, the whole spiritual constitution
of a man changes, is filled with the Holy
Ghost, and almost his form is altered."

Mrs. Morel thought to herself:

"Yes, poor fellow, his young wife is dead;
that is why he makes his love into the Holy
Ghost."

They were halfway down their first cup of
tea when they heard the sluther of pit-boots.

"Good gracious!" exclaimed Mrs. Morel, in
spite of herself.

The minister looked rather scared. Morel
entered. He was feeling rather savage. He
nodded a "How d'yer do" to the clergyman,
who rose to shake hands with him.

"Nay," said Morel, showing his hand, "look
thee at it! Tha niver wants ter shake hands
wi' a hand like that, does ter? There's too
much pick-haft and shovel-dirt on it."

The minister flushed with confusion, and sat
down again. Mrs. Morel rose, carried out
the steaming saucepan. Morel took off his
coat, dragged his armchair to table, and sat
down heavily.

"Are you tired?" asked the clergyman.

"Tired? I ham that," replied Morel. "YOU
don't know what it is to be tired, as I'M
tired."

"No," replied the clergyman.

"Why, look yer 'ere," said the miner,
showing the shoulders of his singlet. "It's a
bit dry now, but it's wet as a clout with sweat
even yet. Feel it."

"Goodness!" cried Mrs. Morel. "Mr. Heaton
doesn't want to feel your nasty singlet."

The clergyman put out his hand gingerly.

"No, perhaps he doesn't," said Morel; "but
it's all come out of me, whether or not. An'
iv'ry day alike my singlet's wringin' wet.
'Aven't you got a drink, Missis, for a man
when he comes home barkled up from the
pit?"

"You know you drank all the beer," said Mrs.
Morel, pouring out his tea.

"An' was there no more to be got?" Turning
to the clergyman—"A man gets that caked up
wi' th' dust, you know,—that clogged up
down a coal-mine, he NEEDS a drink when
he comes home."

"I am sure he does," said the clergyman.

"But it's ten to one if there's owt for him."

"There's water—and there's tea," said Mrs.
Morel.

"Water! It's not water as'll clear his throat."

He poured out a saucerful of tea, blew it,
and sucked it up through his great black
moustache, sighing afterwards. Then he
poured out another saucerful, and stood his
cup on the table.

"My cloth!" said Mrs. Morel, putting it on a
plate.

"A man as comes home as I do 's too tired
to care about cloths," said Morel.

-26-

"Pity!" exclaimed his wife, sarcastically.

The room was full of the smell of meat and
vegetables and pit-clothes.

He leaned over to the minister, his great
moustache thrust forward, his mouth very
red in his black face.

"Mr. Heaton," he said, "a man as has been
down the black hole all day, dingin' away at
a coal-face, yi, a sight harder than that
wall—-"

"Needn't make a moan of it," put in Mrs.
Morel.

She hated her husband because, whenever
he had an audience, he whined and played
for sympathy. William, sitting nursing the
baby, hated him, with a boy's hatred for
false sentiment, and for the stupid treatment
of his mother. Annie had never liked him;
she merely avoided him.

When the minister had gone, Mrs. Morel
looked at her cloth.

"A fine mess!" she said.

"Dos't think I'm goin' to sit wi' my arms
danglin', cos tha's got a parson for tea wi'
thee?" he bawled.

They were both angry, but she said nothing.
The baby began to cry, and Mrs. Morel,
picking up a saucepan from the hearth,
accidentally knocked Annie on the head,
whereupon the girl began to whine, and
Morel to shout at her. In the midst of this
pandemonium, William looked up at the big
glazed text over the mantelpiece and read
distinctly:

"God Bless Our Home!"

Whereupon Mrs. Morel, trying to soothe the
baby, jumped up, rushed at him, boxed his
ears, saying:

"What are YOU putting in for?"

And then she sat down and laughed, till
tears ran over her cheeks, while William
kicked the stool he had been sitting on, and
Morel growled:

"I canna see what there is so much to laugh
at."

One evening, directly after the parson's
visit, feeling unable to bear herself after
another display from her husband, she took
Annie and the baby and went out. Morel had
kicked William, and the mother would never
forgive him.

She went over the sheep-bridge and
across a corner of the meadow to the
cricket-ground. The meadows seemed one
space of ripe, evening light, whispering
with the distant mill-race. She sat on a seat
under the alders in the cricket-ground, and
fronted the evening. Before her, level and
solid, spread the big green cricket-field,
like the bed of a sea of light. Children
played in the bluish shadow of the pavilion.
Many rooks, high up, came cawing home
across the softly-woven sky. They stooped
in a long curve down into the golden glow,
concentrating, cawing, wheeling, like black
flakes on a slow vortex, over a tree clump
that made a dark boss among the pasture.

A few gentlemen were practising, and Mrs.
Morel could hear the chock of the ball, and
the voices of men suddenly roused; could
see the white forms of men shifting silently
over the green, upon which already the
under shadows were smouldering. Away at
the grange, one side of the haystacks was
lit up, the other sides blue-grey. A waggon

-27-

of sheaves rocked small across the melting
yellow light.

The sun was going down. Every open
evening, the hills of Derbyshire were blazed
over with red sunset. Mrs. Morel watched
the sun sink from the glistening sky, leaving
a soft flower-blue overhead, while the
western space went red, as if all the fire had
swum down there, leaving the bell cast
flawless blue. The mountain-ash berries
across the field stood fierily out from the
dark leaves, for a moment. A few shocks of
corn in a corner of the fallow stood up as if
alive; she imagined them bowing; perhaps
her son would be a Joseph. In the east, a
mirrored sunset floated pink opposite the
west's scarlet. The big haystacks on the
hillside, that butted into the glare, went cold.

With Mrs. Morel it was one of those still
moments when the small frets vanish, and
the beauty of things stands out, and she had
the peace and the strength to see herself.
Now and again, a swallow cut close to her.
Now and again, Annie came up with a
handful of alder-currants. The baby was
restless on his mother's knee, clambering
with his hands at the light.

Mrs. Morel looked down at him. She had
dreaded this baby like a catastrophe,
because of her feeling for her husband. And
now she felt strangely towards the infant.
Her heart was heavy because of the child,
almost as if it were unhealthy, or
malformed. Yet it seemed quite well. But
she noticed the peculiar knitting of the
baby's brows, and the peculiar heaviness
of its eyes, as if it were trying to understand
something that was pain. She felt, when she
looked at her child's dark, brooding pupils,
as if a burden were on her heart.

"He looks as if he was thinking about
something—quite sorrowful," said Mrs. Kirk.

Suddenly, looking at him, the heavy feeling
at the mother's heart melted into passionate
grief. She bowed over him, and a few tears
shook swiftly out of her very heart. The baby
lifted his fingers.

"My lamb!" she cried softly.

And at that moment she felt, in some far
inner place of her soul, that she and her
husband were guilty.

The baby was looking up at her. It had blue
eyes like her own, but its look was heavy,
steady, as if it had realised something that
had stunned some point of its soul.

In her arms lay the delicate baby. Its deep
blue eyes, always looking up at her
unblinking, seemed to draw her innermost
thoughts out of her. She no longer loved her
husband; she had not wanted this child to
come, and there it lay in her arms and pulled
at her heart. She felt as if the navel string
that had connected its frail little body with
hers had not been broken. A wave of hot
love went over her to the infant. She held it
close to her face and breast. With all her
force, with all her soul she would make up to
it for having brought it into the world unloved.
She would love it all the more now it was
here; carry it in her love. Its clear, knowing
eyes gave her pain and fear. Did it know all
about her? When it lay under her heart, had it
been listening then? Was there a reproach in
the look? She felt the marrow melt in her
bones, with fear and pain.

Once more she was aware of the sun lying
red on the rim of the hill opposite. She
suddenly held up the child in her hands.

"Look!" she said. "Look, my pretty!"

She thrust the infant forward to the crimson,
throbbing sun, almost with relief. She saw

-28-

him lift his little fist. Then she put him to her
bosom again, ashamed almost of her
impulse to give him back again whence he
came.

"If he lives," she thought to herself, "what will
become of him—what will he be?"

Her heart was anxious.

"I will call him Paul," she said suddenly; she
knew not why.

After a while she went home. A fine shadow
was flung over the deep green meadow,
darkening all.

As she expected, she found the house
empty. But Morel was home by ten o'clock,
and that day, at least, ended peacefully.

Walter Morel was, at this time, exceedingly
irritable. His work seemed to exhaust him.
When he came home he did not speak civilly
to anybody. If the fire were rather low he
bullied about that; he grumbled about his
dinner; if the children made a chatter he
shouted at them in a way that made their
mother's blood boil, and made them hate
him.

On the Friday, he was not home by eleven
o'clock. The baby was unwell, and was
restless, crying if he were put down. Mrs.
Morel, tired to death, and still weak, was
scarcely under control.

"I wish the nuisance would come," she said
wearily to herself.

The child at last sank down to sleep in her
arms. She was too tired to carry him to the
cradle.

"But I'll say nothing, whatever time he
comes," she said. "It only works me up; I

won't say anything. But I know if he does
anything it'll make my blood boil," she
added to herself.

She sighed, hearing him coming, as if it
were something she could not bear. He,
taking his revenge, was nearly drunk. She
kept her head bent over the child as he
entered, not wishing to see him. But it went
through her like a flash of hot fire when, in
passing, he lurched against the dresser,
setting the tins rattling, and clutched at the
white pot knobs for support. He hung up his
hat and coat, then returned, stood
glowering from a distance at her, as she sat
bowed over the child.

"Is there nothing to eat in the house?" he
asked, insolently, as if to a servant. In
certain stages of his intoxication he
affected the clipped, mincing speech of the
towns. Mrs. Morel hated him most in this
condition.

"You know what there is in the house," she
said, so coldly, it sounded impersonal.

He stood and glared at her without moving a
muscle.

"I asked a civil question, and I expect a civil
answer," he said affectedly.

"And you got it," she said, still ignoring him.

He glowered again. Then he came
unsteadily forward. He leaned on the table
with one hand, and with the other jerked at
the table drawer to get a knife to cut bread.
The drawer stuck because he pulled
sideways. In a temper he dragged it, so that
it flew out bodily, and spoons, forks, knives,
a hundred metallic things, splashed with a
clatter and a clang upon the brick floor. The
baby gave a little convulsed start.

-29-

"What are you doing, clumsy, drunken fool?"
the mother cried.

"Then tha should get the flamin' thing thysen.
Tha should get up, like other women have
to, an' wait on a man."

"Wait on you—wait on you?" she cried. "Yes, I
see myself."

"Yis, an' I'll learn thee tha's got to. Wait on
ME, yes tha sh'lt wait on me—-"

"Never, milord. I'd wait on a dog at the door
first."

"What—what?"

He was trying to fit in the drawer. At her last
speech be turned round. His face was
crimson, his eyes bloodshot. He stared at
her one silent second in threat.

"P-h!" she went quickly, in contempt.

He jerked at the drawer in his excitement. It
fell, cut sharply on his shin, and on the reflex
he flung it at her.

One of the corners caught her brow as the
shallow drawer crashed into the fireplace.
She swayed, almost fell stunned from her
chair. To her very soul she was sick; she
clasped the child tightly to her bosom. A few
moments elapsed; then, with an effort, she
brought herself to. The baby was crying
plaintively. Her left brow was bleeding
rather profusely. As she glanced down at
the child, her brain reeling, some drops of
blood soaked into its white shawl; but the
baby was at least not hurt. She balanced her
head to keep equilibrium, so that the blood
ran into her eye.

Walter Morel remained as he had stood,
leaning on the table with one hand, looking

blank. When he was sufficiently sure of his
balance, he went across to her, swayed,
caught hold of the back of her rocking-
chair, almost tipping her out; then leaning
forward over her, and swaying as he spoke,
he said, in a tone of wondering concern:

"Did it catch thee?"

He swayed again, as if he would pitch on to
the child. With the catastrophe he had lost all
balance.

"Go away," she said, struggling to keep her
presence of mind.

He hiccoughed. "Let's—let's look at it," he
said, hiccoughing again.

"Go away!" she cried.

"Lemme—lemme look at it, lass."

She smelled him of drink, felt the unequal
pull of his swaying grasp on the back of her
rocking-chair.

"Go away," she said, and weakly she
pushed him off.

He stood, uncertain in balance, gazing upon
her. Summoning all her strength she rose,
the baby on one arm. By a cruel effort of will,
moving as if in sleep, she went across to the
scullery, where she bathed her eye for a
minute in cold water; but she was too dizzy.
Afraid lest she should swoon, she returned
to her rocking-chair, trembling in every
fibre. By instinct, she kept the baby clasped.

Morel, bothered, had succeeded in pushing
the drawer back into its cavity, and was on
his knees, groping, with numb paws, for the
scattered spoons.

Her brow was still bleeding. Presently Morel

-30-

got up and came craning his neck towards
her.

"What has it done to thee, lass?" he asked,
in a very wretched, humble tone.

"You can see what it's done," she
answered.

He stood, bending forward, supported on
his hands, which grasped his legs just
above the knee. He peered to look at the
wound. She drew away from the thrust of
his face with its great moustache, averting
her own face as much as possible. As he
looked at her, who was cold and impassive
as stone, with mouth shut tight, he sickened
with feebleness and hopelessness of spirit.
He was turning drearily away, when he saw
a drop of blood fall from the averted wound
into the baby's fragile, glistening hair.
Fascinated, he watched the heavy dark
drop hang in the glistening cloud, and pull
down the gossamer. Another drop fell. It
would soak through to the baby's scalp. He
watched, fascinated, feeling it soak in;
then, finally, his manhood broke.

"What of this child?" was all his wife said to
him. But her low, intense tones brought his
head lower. She softened: "Get me some
wadding out of the middle drawer," she
said.

He stumbled away very obediently,
presently returning with a pad, which she
singed before the fire, then put on her
forehead, as she sat with the baby on her
lap.

"Now that clean pit-scarf."

Again he rummaged and fumbled in the
drawer, returning presently with a red,
narrow scarf. She took it, and with trembling
fingers proceeded to bind it round her head.

"Let me tie it for thee," he said humbly.

"I can do it myself," she replied. When it was
done she went upstairs, telling him to rake
the fire and lock the door.

In the morning Mrs. Morel said:

"I knocked against the latch of the coal-
place, when I was getting a raker in the
dark, because the candle blew out." Her two
small children looked up at her with wide,
dismayed eyes. They said nothing, but their
parted lips seemed to express the
unconscious tragedy they felt.

Walter Morel lay in bed next day until nearly
dinner-time. He did not think of the previous
evening's work. He scarcely thought of
anything, but he would not think of that. He
lay and suffered like a sulking dog. He had
hurt himself most; and he was the more
damaged because he would never say a
word to her, or express his sorrow. He tried
to wriggle out of it. "It was her own fault," he
said to himself. Nothing, however, could
prevent his inner consciousness inflicting on
him the punishment which ate into his spirit
like rust, and which he could only alleviate
by drinking.

He felt as if he had not the initiative to get
up, or to say a word, or to move, but could
only lie like a log. Moreover, he had himself
violent pains in the head. It was Saturday.
Towards noon he rose, cut himself food in
the pantry, ate it with his head dropped,
then pulled on his boots, and went out, to
return at three o'clock slightly tipsy and
relieved; then once more straight to bed. He
rose again at six in the evening, had tea and
went straight out.

Sunday was the same: bed till noon, the
Palmerston Arms till 2.30, dinner, and bed;
scarcely a word spoken. When Mrs. Morel

-31-

went upstairs, towards four o'clock, to put
on her Sunday dress, he was fast asleep.
She would have felt sorry for him, if he had
once said, "Wife, I'm sorry." But no; he
insisted to himself it was her fault. And so
he broke himself. So she merely left him
alone. There was this deadlock of passion
between them, and she was stronger.

The family began tea. Sunday was the only
day when all sat down to meals together.

"Isn't my father going to get up?" asked
William.

"Let him lie," the mother replied.

There was a feeling of misery over all the
house. The children breathed the air that
was poisoned, and they felt dreary. They
were rather disconsolate, did not know
what to do, what to play at.

Immediately Morel woke he got straight out
of bed. That was characteristic of him all his
life. He was all for activity. The prostrated
inactivity of two mornings was stifling him.

It was near six o'clock when he got down.
This time he entered without hesitation, his
wincing sensitiveness having hardened
again. He did not care any longer what the
family thought or felt.

The tea-things were on the table. William
was reading aloud from "The Child's Own",
Annie listening and asking eternally "why?"
Both children hushed into silence as they
heard the approaching thud of their father's
stockinged feet, and shrank as he entered.
Yet he was usually indulgent to them.

Morel made the meal alone, brutally. He ate
and drank more noisily than he had need.
No one spoke to him. The family life
withdrew, shrank away, and became

hushed as he entered. But he cared no
longer about his alienation.

Immediately he had finished tea he rose
with alacrity to go out. It was this alacrity,
this haste to be gone, which so sickened
Mrs. Morel. As she heard him sousing
heartily in cold water, heard the eager
scratch of the steel comb on the side of the
bowl, as he wetted his hair, she closed her
eyes in disgust. As he bent over, lacing his
boots, there was a certain vulgar gusto in
his movement that divided him from the
reserved, watchful rest of the family. He
always ran away from the battle with
himself. Even in his own heart's privacy, he
excused himself, saying, "If she hadn't said
so-and-so, it would never have happened.
She asked for what she's got." The children
waited in restraint during his preparations.
When he had gone, they sighed with relief.

He closed the door behind him, and was
glad. It was a rainy evening. The Palmerston
would be the cosier. He hastened forward
in anticipation. All the slate roofs of the
Bottoms shone black with wet. The roads,
always dark with coal-dust, were full of
blackish mud. He hastened along. The
Palmerston windows were steamed over.
The passage was paddled with wet feet.
But the air was warm, if foul, and full of the
sound of voices and the smell of beer and
smoke.

"What shollt ha'e, Walter?" cried a voice, as
soon as Morel appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, Jim, my lad, wheriver has thee sprung
frae?"

The men made a seat for him, and took him
in warmly. He was glad. In a minute or two
they had thawed all responsibility out of him,
all shame, all trouble, and he was clear as a
bell for a jolly night.

-32-

On the Wednesday following, Morel was
penniless. He dreaded his wife. Having hurt
her, he hated her. He did not know what to
do with himself that evening, having not
even twopence with which to go to the
Palmerston, and being already rather
deeply in debt. So, while his wife was down
the garden with the child, he hunted in the
top drawer of the dresser where she kept
her purse, found it, and looked inside. It
contained a half-crown, two halfpennies,
and a sixpence. So he took the sixpence,
put the purse carefully back, and went out.

The next day, when she wanted to pay the
greengrocer, she looked in the purse for her
sixpence, and her heart sank to her shoes.
Then she sat down and thought: "WAS there
a sixpence? I hadn't spent it, had I? And I
hadn't left it anywhere else?"

She was much put about. She hunted round
everywhere for it. And, as she sought, the
conviction came into her heart that her
husband had taken it. What she had in her
purse was all the money she possessed.
But that he should sneak it from her thus
was unbearable. He had done so twice
before. The first time she had not accused
him, and at the week-end he had put the
shilling again into her purse. So that was
how she had known he had taken it. The
second time he had not paid back.

This time she felt it was too much. When he
had had his dinner—he came home early that
day—she said to him coldly:

"Did you take sixpence out of my purse last
night?"

"Me!" he said, looking up in an offended
way. "No, I didna! I niver clapped eyes on
your purse."

But she could detect the lie.

"Why, you know you did," she said quietly.

"I tell you I didna," he shouted. "Yer at me
again, are yer? I've had about enough on't."

"So you filch sixpence out of my purse while
I'm taking the clothes in."

"I'll may yer pay for this," he said, pushing
back his chair in desperation. He bustled
and got washed, then went determinedly
upstairs. Presently he came down dressed,
and with a big bundle in a blue-checked,
enormous handkerchief.

"And now," he said, "you'll see me again
when you do."

"It'll be before I want to," she replied; and at
that he marched out of the house with his
bundle. She sat trembling slightly, but her
heart brimming with contempt. What would
she do if he went to some other pit,
obtained work, and got in with another
woman? But she knew him too well—he
couldn't. She was dead sure of him.
Nevertheless her heart was gnawed inside
her.

"Where's my dad?" said William, coming in
from school.

"He says he's run away," replied the mother.

"Where to?"

"Eh, I don't know. He's taken a bundle in the
blue handkerchief, and says he's not
coming back."

"What shall we do?" cried the boy.

"Eh, never trouble, he won't go far."

"But if he doesn't come back," wailed
Annie.

-33-

And she and William retired to the sofa and
wept. Mrs. Morel sat and laughed.

"You pair of gabeys!" she exclaimed. "You'll
see him before the night's out."

But the children were not to be consoled.
Twilight came on. Mrs. Morel grew anxious
from very weariness. One part of her said it
would be a relief to see the last of him;
another part fretted because of keeping the
children; and inside her, as yet, she could
not quite let him go. At the bottom, she knew
very well he could NOT go.

When she went down to the coal-place at
the end of the garden, however, she felt
something behind the door. So she looked.
And there in the dark lay the big blue bundle.
She sat on a piece of coal and laughed.
Every time she saw it, so fat and yet so
ignominious, slunk into its corner in the
dark, with its ends flopping like dejected
ears from the knots, she laughed again.
She was relieved.

Mrs. Morel sat waiting. He had not any
money, she knew, so if he stopped he was
running up a bill. She was very tired of
him—tired to death. He had not even the
courage to carry his bundle beyond the
yard-end.

As she meditated, at about nine o'clock, he
opened the door and came in, slinking, and
yet sulky. She said not a word. He took off
his coat, and slunk to his armchair, where
he began to take off his boots.

"You'd better fetch your bundle before you
take your boots off," she said quietly.

"You may thank your stars I've come back
to-night," he said, looking up from under his
dropped head, sulkily, trying to be
impressive.

"Why, where should you have gone? You
daren't even get your parcel through the
yard-end," she said.

He looked such a fool she was not even
angry with him. He continued to take his
boots off and prepare for bed.

"I don't know what's in your blue
handkerchief," she said. "But if you leave it
the children shall fetch it in the morning."

Whereupon he got up and went out of the
house, returning presently and crossing the
kitchen with averted face, hurrying upstairs.
As Mrs. Morel saw him slink quickly through
the inner doorway, holding his bundle, she
laughed to herself: but her heart was bitter,
because she had loved him.

Chapter 3: THE CASTING OFF OF MORE-
THE TAKING ON OF WILLIAM

DURING the next week Morel's temper was
almost unbearable. Like all miners, he was
a great lover of medicines, which, strangely
enough, he would often pay for himself.

"You mun get me a drop o' laxy vitral," he
said. "It's a winder as we canna ha'e a sup
i' th' 'ouse."

So Mrs. Morel bought him elixir of vitriol, his
favourite first medicine. And he made
himself a jug of wormwood tea. He had
hanging in the attic great bunches of dried
herbs: wormwood, rue, horehound, elder
flowers, parsley-purt, marshmallow,
hyssop, dandelion, and centaury. Usually
there was a jug of one or other decoction
standing on the hob, from which he drank
largely.

"Grand!" he said, smacking his lips after
wormwood. "Grand!" And he exhorted the
children to try.

-34-

"It's better than any of your tea or your cocoa
stews," he vowed. But they were not to be
tempted.

This time, however, neither pills nor vitriol
nor all his herbs would shift the "nasty peens
in his head". He was sickening for an attack
of an inflammation of the brain. He had
never been well since his sleeping on the
ground when he went with Jerry to
Nottingham. Since then he had drunk and
stormed. Now he fell seriously ill, and Mrs.
Morel had him to nurse. He was one of the
worst patients imaginable. But, in spite of
all, and putting aside the fact that he was
breadwinner, she never quite wanted him to
die. Still there was one part of her wanted
him for herself.

The neighbours were very good to her:
occasionally some had the children in to
meals, occasionally some would do the
downstairs work for her, one would mind
the baby for a day. But it was a great drag,
nevertheless. It was not every day the
neighbours helped. Then she had nursing of
baby and husband, cleaning and cooking,
everything to do. She was quite worn out,
but she did what was wanted of her.

And the money was just sufficient. She had
seventeen shillings a week from clubs, and
every Friday Barker and the other butty put
by a portion of the stall's profits for Morel's
wife. And the neighbours made broths, and
gave eggs, and such invalids' trifles. If they
had not helped her so generously in those
times, Mrs. Morel would never have pulled
through, without incurring debts that would
have dragged her down.

The weeks passed. Morel, almost against
hope, grew better. He had a fine
constitution, so that, once on the mend, he
went straight forward to recovery. Soon he
was pottering about downstairs. During his

illness his wife had spoilt him a little. Now he
wanted her to continue. He often put his
band to his head, pulled down the comers
of his mouth, and shammed pains he did
not feel. But there was no deceiving her. At
first she merely smiled to herself. Then she
scolded him sharply.

"Goodness, man, don't be so lachrymose."

That wounded him slightly, but still he
continued to feign sickness.

"I wouldn't be such a mardy baby," said the
wife shortly.

Then he was indignant, and cursed under
his breath, like a boy. He was forced to
resume a normal tone, and to cease to
whine.

Nevertheless, there was a state of peace in
the house for some time. Mrs. Morel was
more tolerant of him, and he, depending on
her almost like a child, was rather happy.
Neither knew that she was more tolerant
because she loved him less. Up till this time,
in spite of all, he had been her husband and
her man. She had felt that, more or less,
what he did to himself he did to her. Her
living depended on him. There were many,
many stages in the ebbing of her love for
him, but it was always ebbing.

Now, with the birth of this third baby, her self
no longer set towards him, helplessly, but
was like a tide that scarcely rose, standing
off from him. After this she scarcely desired
him. And, standing more aloof from him, not
feeling him so much part of herself, but
merely part of her circumstances, she did
not mind so much what he did, could leave
him alone.

There was the halt, the wistfulness about
the ensuing year, which is like autumn in a

-35-

man's life. His wife was casting him off,
half regretfully, but relentlessly; casting him
off and turning now for love and life to the
children. Henceforward he was more or
less a husk. And he himself acquiesced, as
so many men do, yielding their place to their
children.

During his recuperation, when it was really
over between them, both made an effort to
come back somewhat to the old
relationship of the first months of their
marriage. He sat at home and, when the
children were in bed, and she was
sewing—she did all her sewing by hand,
made all shirts and children's clothing—he
would read to her from the newspaper,
slowly pronouncing and delivering the
words like a man pitching quoits. Often she
hurried him on, giving him a phrase in
anticipation. And then he took her words
humbly.

The silences between them were peculiar.
There would be the swift, slight "cluck" of
her needle, the sharp "pop" of his lips as he
let out the smoke, the warmth, the sizzle on
the bars as he spat in the fire. Then her
thoughts turned to William. Already he was
getting a big boy. Already he was top of the
class, and the master said he was the
smartest lad in the school. She saw him a
man, young, full of vigour, making the world
glow again for her.

And Morel sitting there, quite alone, and
having nothing to think about, would be
feeling vaguely uncomfortable. His soul
would reach out in its blind way to her and
find her gone. He felt a sort of emptiness,
almost like a vacuum in his soul. He was
unsettled and restless. Soon he could not
live in that atmosphere, and he affected his
wife. Both felt an oppression on their
breathing when they were left together for
some time. Then he went to bed and she

settled down to enjoy herself alone,
working, thinking, living.

Meanwhile another infant was coming, fruit
of this little peace and tenderness between
the separating parents. Paul was seventeen
months old when the new baby was born.
He was then a plump, pale child, quiet, with
heavy blue eyes, and still the peculiar slight
knitting of the brows. The last child was also
a boy, fair and bonny. Mrs. Morel was sorry
when she knew she was with child, both for
economic reasons and because she did not
love her husband; but not for the sake of the
infant.

They called the baby Arthur. He was very
pretty, with a mop of gold curls, and he
loved his father from the first. Mrs. Morel
was glad this child loved the father. Hearing
the miner's footsteps, the baby would put
up his arms and crow. And if Morel were in
a good temper, he called back
immediately, in his hearty, mellow voice:

"What then, my beauty? I sh'll come to thee in
a minute."

And as soon as he had taken off his pit-
coat, Mrs. Morel would put an apron round
the child, and give him to his father.

"What a sight the lad looks!" she would
exclaim sometimes, taking back the baby,
that was smutted on the face from his
father's kisses and play. Then Morel
laughed joyfully.

"He's a little collier, bless his bit o' mutton!"
he exclaimed.

And these were the happy moments of her
life now, when the children included the
father in her heart.

Meanwhile William grew bigger and

-36-

stronger and more active, while Paul,
always rather delicate and quiet, got
slimmer, and trotted after his mother like her
shadow. He was usually active and
interested, but sometimes he would have
fits of depression. Then the mother would
find the boy of three or four crying on the
sofa.

"What's the matter?" she asked, and got no
answer.

"What's the matter?" she insisted, getting
cross.

"I don't know," sobbed the child.

So she tried to reason him out of it, or to
amuse him, but without effect. It made her
feel beside herself. Then the father, always
impatient, would jump from his chair and
shout:

"If he doesn't stop, I'll smack him till he
does."

"You'll do nothing of the sort," said the
mother coldly. And then she carried the child
into the yard, plumped him into his little
chair, and said: "Now cry there, Misery!"

And then a butterfly on the rhubarb-leaves
perhaps caught his eye, or at last he cried
himself to sleep. These fits were not often,
but they caused a shadow in Mrs. Morel's
heart, and her treatment of Paul was
different from that of the other children.

Suddenly one morning as she was looking
down the alley of the Bottoms for the barm-
man, she heard a voice calling her. It was
the thin little Mrs. Anthony in brown velvet.

"Here, Mrs. Morel, I want to tell you about
your Willie."

"Oh, do you?" replied Mrs. Morel. "Why,
what's the matter?"

"A lad as gets 'old of another an' rips his
clothes off'n 'is back," Mrs. Anthony said,
"wants showing something."

"Your Alfred's as old as my William," said
Mrs. Morel.

"'Appen 'e is, but that doesn't give him a
right to get hold of the boy's collar, an' fair
rip it clean off his back."

"Well," said Mrs. Morel, "I don't thrash my
children, and even if I did, I should want to
hear their side of the tale."

"They'd happen be a bit better if they did get
a good hiding," retorted Mrs. Anthony.
"When it comes ter rippin' a lad's clean
collar off'n 'is back a-purpose—-"

"I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose," said
Mrs. Morel.

"Make me a liar!" shouted Mrs. Anthony.

Mrs. Morel moved away and closed her
gate. Her hand trembled as she held her
mug of barm.

"But I s'll let your mester know," Mrs.
Anthony cried after her.

At dinner-time, when William had finished
his meal and wanted to be off again—he was
then eleven years old—his mother said to
him:

"What did you tear Alfred Anthony's collar
for?"

"When did I tear his collar?"

"I don't know when, but his mother says you

-37-

did."

"Why—it was yesterday—an' it was torn
a'ready."

"But you tore it more."

"Well, I'd got a cobbler as 'ad licked
seventeen—an' Alfy Ant'ny 'e says:


'Adam an' Eve an' pinch-me,
Went down to a river to bade.
Adam an' Eve got drownded,
Who do yer think got saved?'

An' so I says: 'Oh, Pinch-YOU,' an' so I
pinched 'im, an' 'e was mad, an' so he
snatched my cobbler an' run off with it. An'
so I run after 'im, an' when I was gettin' hold
of 'im, 'e dodged, an' it ripped 'is collar. But
I got my cobbler—-"

He pulled from his pocket a black old horse-
chestnut hanging on a string. This old
cobbler had "cobbled"—hit and
smashed—seventeen other cobblers on
similar strings. So the boy was proud of his
veteran.

"Well," said Mrs. Morel, "you know you've
got no right to rip his collar."

"Well, our mother!" he answered. "I never
meant tr'a done it—an' it was on'y an old
indirrubber collar as was torn a'ready."

"Next time," said his mother, "YOU be more
careful. I shouldn't like it if you came home
with your collar torn off."

"I don't care, our mother; I never did it a-
purpose."

The boy was rather miserable at being
reprimanded.

"No—well, you be more careful."

William fled away, glad to be exonerated.
And Mrs. Morel, who hated any bother with
the neighbours, thought she would explain
to Mrs. Anthony, and the business would be
over.

But that evening Morel came in from the pit
looking very sour. He stood in the kitchen
and glared round, but did not speak for
some minutes. Then:

"Wheer's that Willy?" he asked.

"What do you want HIM for?" asked Mrs.
Morel, who had guessed.

"I'll let 'im know when I get him," said Morel,
banging his pit-bottle on to the dresser.

"I suppose Mrs. Anthony's got hold of you
and been yarning to you about Alfy's collar,"
said Mrs. Morel, rather sneering.

"Niver mind who's got hold of me," said
Morel. "When I get hold of 'IM I'll make his
bones rattle."

"It's a poor tale," said Mrs. Morel, "that
you're so ready to side with any snipey
vixen who likes to come telling tales against
your own children."

"I'll learn 'im!" said Morel. "It none matters to
me whose lad 'e is; 'e's none goin' rippin'
an' tearin' about just as he's a mind."

"'Ripping and tearing about!'" repeated
Mrs. Morel. "He was running after that Alfy,
who'd taken his cobbler, and he
accidentally got hold of his collar, because
the other dodged—as an Anthony would."

"I know!" shouted Morel threateningly.

-38-

"You would, before you're told," replied his
wife bitingly.

"Niver you mind," stormed Morel. "I know my
business."

"That's more than doubtful," said Mrs.
Morel, "supposing some loud-mouthed
creature had been getting you to thrash your
own children."

"I know," repeated Morel.

And he said no more, but sat and nursed his
bad temper. Suddenly William ran in, saying:

"Can I have my tea, mother?"

"Tha can ha'e more than that!" shouted
Morel.

"Hold your noise, man," said Mrs. Morel;
"and don't look so ridiculous."

"He'll look ridiculous before I've done wi'
him!" shouted Morel, rising from his chair
and glaring at his son.

William, who was a tall lad for his years, but
very sensitive, had gone pale, and was
looking in a sort of horror at his father.

"Go out!" Mrs. Morel commanded her son.

William had not the wit to move. Suddenly
Morel clenched his fist, and crouched.

"I'll GI'E him 'go out'!" he shouted like an
insane thing.

"What!" cried Mrs. Morel, panting with rage.
"You shall not touch him for HER telling, you
shall not!"

"Shonna I?" shouted Morel. "Shonna I?"

And, glaring at the boy, he ran forward. Mrs.
Morel sprang in between them, with her fist
lifted.

"Don't you DARE!" she cried.

"What!" he shouted, baffled for the moment.
"What!"

She spun round to her son.

"GO out of the house!" she commanded him
in fury.

The boy, as if hypnotised by her, turned
suddenly and was gone. Morel rushed to the
door, but was too late. He returned, pale
under his pit-dirt with fury. But now his wife
was fully roused.

"Only dare!" she said in a loud, ringing
voice. "Only dare, milord, to lay a finger on
that child! You'll regret it for ever."

He was afraid of her. In a towering rage, he
sat down.

When the children were old enough to be
left, Mrs. Morel joined the Women's Guild. It
was a little club of women attached to the
Co-operative Wholesale Society, which
met on Monday night in the long room over
the grocery shop of the Bestwood "Co-op".
The women were supposed to discuss the
benefits to be derived from co-operation,
and other social questions. Sometimes
Mrs. Morel read a paper. It seemed queer to
the children to see their mother, who was
always busy about the house, sitting writing
in her rapid fashion, thinking, referring to
books, and writing again. They felt for her
on such occasions the deepest respect.

But they loved the Guild. It was the only thing
to which they did not grudge their
mother—and that partly because she

-39-

enjoyed it, partly because of the treats they
derived from it. The Guild was called by
some hostile husbands, who found their
wives getting too independent, the "clat-
fart" shop—that is, the gossip-shop. It is true,
from off the basis of the Guild, the women
could look at their homes, at the conditions
of their own lives, and find fault. So the
colliers found their women had a new
standard of their own, rather disconcerting.
And also, Mrs. Morel always had a lot of
news on Monday nights, so that the children
liked William to be in when their mother
came home, because she told him things.

Then, when the lad was thirteen, she got
him a job in the "Co-op." office. He was a
very clever boy, frank, with rather rough
features and real viking blue eyes.

"What dost want ter ma'e a stool-harsed
Jack on 'im for?" said Morel. "All he'll do is
to wear his britches behind out an' earn
nowt. What's 'e startin' wi'?"

"It doesn't matter what he's starting with,"
said Mrs. Morel.

"It wouldna! Put 'im i' th' pit we me, an' 'ell
earn a easy ten shillin' a wik from th' start.
But six shillin' wearin' his truck-end out on a
stool's better than ten shillin' i' th' pit wi'me,
I know."

"He is NOT going in the pit," said Mrs.
Morel, "and there's an end of it."

"It wor good enough for me, but it's non
good enough for 'im."

"If your mother put you in the pit at twelve,
it's no reason why I should do the same with
my lad."

"Twelve! It wor a sight afore that!"

"Whenever it was," said Mrs. Morel.

She was very proud of her son. He went to
the night school, and learned shorthand, so
that by the time he was sixteen he was the
best shorthand clerk and book-keeper on
the place, except one. Then he taught in the
night schools. But he was so fiery that only
his good-nature and his size protected him.

All the things that men do—the decent
things—William did. He could run like the
wind. When he was twelve he won a first
prize in a race; an inkstand of glass,
shaped like an anvil. It stood proudly on the
dresser, and gave Mrs. Morel a keen
pleasure. The boy only ran for her. He flew
home with his anvil, breathless, with a
"Look, mother!" That was the first real
tribute to herself. She took it like a queen.

"How pretty!" she exclaimed.

Then he began to get ambitious. He gave all
his money to his mother. When he earned
fourteen shillings a week, she gave him
back two for himself, and, as he never
drank, he felt himself rich. He went about
with the bourgeois of Bestwood. The
townlet contained nothing higher than the
clergyman. Then came the bank manager,
then the doctors, then the tradespeople,
and after that the hosts of colliers. Willam
began to consort with the sons of the
chemist, the schoolmaster, and the
tradesmen. He played billiards in the
Mechanics' Hall. Also he danced—this in
spite of his mother. All the life that
Bestwood offered he enjoyed, from the
sixpenny-hops down Church Street, to
sports and billiards.

Paul was treated to dazzling descriptions of
all kinds of flower-like ladies, most of
whom lived like cut blooms in William's heart
for a brief fortnight.

-40-

Occasionally some flame would come in
pursuit of her errant swain. Mrs. Morel
would find a strange girl at the door, and
immediately she sniffed the air.

"Is Mr. Morel in?" the damsel would ask
appealingly.

"My husband is at home," Mrs. Morel
replied.

"I—I mean YOUNG Mr. Morel," repeated the
maiden painfully.

"Which one? There are several."

Whereupon much blushing and stammering
from the fair one.

"I—I met Mr. Morel—at Ripley," she explained.

"Oh—at a dance!"

"Yes."

"I don't approve of the girls my son meets at
dances. And he is NOT at home."

Then he came home angry with his mother
for having turned the girl away so rudely. He
was a careless, yet eager-looking fellow,
who walked with long strides, sometimes
frowning, often with his cap pushed jollily to
the back of his head. Now he came in
frowning. He threw his cap on to the sofa,
and took his strong jaw in his hand, and
glared down at his mother. She was small,
with her hair taken straight back from her
forehead. She had a quiet air of authority,
and yet of rare warmth. Knowing her son
was angry, she trembled inwardly.

"Did a lady call for me yesterday, mother?"
he asked.

"I don't know about a lady. There was a girl

came."

"And why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I forgot, simply."

He fumed a little.

"A good-looking girl—seemed a lady?"

"I didn't look at her."

"Big brown eyes?"

"I did NOT look. And tell your girls, my son,
that when they're running after you, they're
not to come and ask your mother for you.
Tell them that—brazen baggages you meet at
dancing-classes."

"I'm sure she was a nice girl."

"And I'm sure she wasn't."

There ended the altercation. Over the
dancing there was a great strife between
the mother and the son. The grievance
reached its height when William said he was
going to Hucknall Torkard—considered a low
town—to a fancy-dress ball. He was to be a
Highlander. There was a dress he could
hire, which one of his friends had had, and
which fitted him perfectly. The Highland suit
came home. Mrs. Morel received it coldly
and would not unpack it.

"My suit come?" cried William.

"There's a parcel in the front room."

He rushed in and cut the string.

"How do you fancy your son in this!" he said,
enraptured, showing her the suit.

"You know I don't want to fancy you in it."

-41-

On the evening of the dance, when he had
come home to dress, Mrs. Morel put on her
coat and bonnet.

"Aren't you going to stop and see me,
mother?" he asked.

"No; I don't want to see you," she replied.

She was rather pale, and her face was
closed and hard. She was afraid of her
son's going the same way as his father. He
hesitated a moment, and his heart stood still
with anxiety. Then he caught sight of the
Highland bonnet with its ribbons. He picked
it up gleefully, forgetting her. She went out.

When he was nineteen he suddenly left the
Co-op. office and got a situation in
Nottingham. In his new place he had thirty
shillings a week instead of eighteen. This
was indeed a rise. His mother and his father
were brimmed up with pride. Everybody
praised William. It seemed he was going to
get on rapidly. Mrs. Morel hoped, with his
aid, to help her younger sons. Annie was
now studying to be a teacher. Paul, also
very clever, was getting on well, having
lessons in French and German from his
godfather, the clergyman who was still a
friend to Mrs. Morel. Arthur, a spoilt and very
good-looking boy, was at the Board
school, but there was talk of his trying to get
a scholarship for the High School in
Nottingham.

William remained a year at his new post in
Nottingham. He was studying hard, and
growing serious. Something seemed to be
fretting him. Still he went out to the dances
and the river parties. He did not drink. The
children were all rabid teetotallers. He came
home very late at night, and sat yet longer
studying. His mother implored him to take
more care, to do one thing or another.

"Dance, if you want to dance, my son; but
don't think you can work in the office, and
then amuse yourself, and THEN study on
top of all. You can't; the human frame won't
stand it. Do one thing or the other—amuse
yourself or learn Latin; but don't try to do
both."

Then he got a place in London, at a hundred
and twenty a year. This seemed a fabulous
sum. His mother doubted almost whether to
rejoice or to grieve.

"They want me in Lime Street on Monday
week, mother," he cried, his eyes blazing
as he read the letter. Mrs. Morel felt
everything go silent inside her. He read the
letter: "'And will you reply by Thursday
whether you accept. Yours faithfully—-' They
want me, mother, at a hundred and twenty a
year, and don't even ask to see me. Didn't I
tell you I could do it! Think of me in London!
And I can give you twenty pounds a year,
mater. We s'll all be rolling in money."

"We shall, my son," she answered sadly.

It never occurred to him that she might be
more hurt at his going away than glad of his
success. Indeed, as the days drew near for
his departure, her heart began to close and
grow dreary with despair. She loved him so
much! More than that, she hoped in him so
much. Almost she lived by him. She liked to
do things for him: she liked to put a cup for
his tea and to iron his collars, of which he
was so proud. It was a joy to her to have him
proud of his collars. There was no laundry.
So she used to rub away at them with her
little convex iron, to polish them, till they
shone from the sheer pressure of her arm.
Now she would not do it for him. Now he
was going away. She felt almost as if he
were going as well out of her heart. He did
not seem to leave her inhabited with
himself. That was the grief and the pain to

-42-

her. He took nearly all himself away.

A few days before his departure—he was
just twenty—he burned his love-letters. They
had hung on a file at the top of the kitchen
cupboard. From some of them he had read
extracts to his mother. Some of them she
had taken the trouble to read herself. But
most were too trivial.

Now, on the Saturday morning he said:

"Come on, Postle, let's go through my
letters, and you can have the birds and
flowers."

Mrs. Morel had done her Saturday's work
on the Friday, because he was having a last
day's holiday. She was making him a rice
cake, which he loved, to take with him. He
was scarcely conscious that she was so
miserable.

He took the first letter off the file. It was
mauve-tinted, and had purple and green
thistles. William sniffed the page.

"Nice scent! Smell."

And he thrust the sheet under Paul's nose.

"Um!" said Paul, breathing in. "What d'you
call it? Smell, mother."

His mother ducked her small, fine nose
down to the paper.

"I don't want to smell their rubbish," she
said, sniffing.

"This girl's father," said William, "is as rich
as Croesus. He owns property without end.
She calls me Lafayette, because I know
French. 'You will see, I've forgiven you'—I
like HER forgiving me. 'I told mother about
you this morning, and she will have much

pleasure if you come to tea on Sunday, but
she will have to get father's consent also. I
sincerely hope he will agree. I will let you
know how it transpires. If, however, you—-'"

"'Let you know how it' what?" interrupted
Mrs. Morel.

"'Transpires'—oh yes!"

"'Transpires!'" repeated Mrs. Morel
mockingly. "I thought she was so well
educated!"

William felt slightly uncomfortable, and
abandoned this maiden, giving Paul the
corner with the thistles. He continued to
read extracts from his letters, some of
which amused his mother, some of which
saddened her and made her anxious for
him.

"My lad," she said, "they're very wise. They
know they've only got to flatter your vanity,
and you press up to them like a dog that has
its head scratched."

"Well, they can't go on scratching for ever,"
he replied. "And when they've done, I trot
away."

"But one day you'll find a string round your
neck that you can't pull off," she answered.

"Not me! I'm equal to any of 'em, mater,
they needn't flatter themselves."

"You flatter YOURSELF," she said quietly.

Soon there was a heap of twisted black
pages, all that remained of the file of
scented letters, except that Paul had thirty or
forty pretty tickets from the corners of the
notepaper—swallows and forget-me-nots
and ivy sprays. And William went to London,
to start a new life.

-43-

Chapter 4: THE YOUNG LIFE OF PAUL

PAUL would be built like his mother, slightly
and rather small. His fair hair went reddish,
and then dark brown; his eyes were grey.
He was a pale, quiet child, with eyes that
seemed to listen, and with a full, dropping
underlip.

As a rule he seemed old for his years. He
was so conscious of what other people felt,
particularly his mother. When she fretted he
understood, and could have no peace. His
soul seemed always attentive to her.

As he grew older he became stronger.
William was too far removed from him to
accept him as a companion. So the smaller
boy belonged at first almost entirely to
Annie. She was a tomboy and a "flybie-
skybie", as her mother called her. But she
was intensely fond of her second brother.
So Paul was towed round at the heels of
Annie, sharing her game. She raced wildly
at lerky with the other young wild-cats of the
Bottoms. And always Paul flew beside her,
living her share of the game, having as yet
no part of his own. He was quiet and not
noticeable. But his sister adored him. He
always seemed to care for things if she
wanted him to.

She had a big doll of which she was
fearfully proud, though not so fond. So she
laid the doll on the sofa, and covered it with
an antimacassar, to sleep. Then she forgot
it. Meantime Paul must practise jumping off
the sofa arm. So he jumped crash into the
face of the hidden doll. Annie rushed up,
uttered a loud wail, and sat down to weep a
dirge. Paul remained quite still.

"You couldn't tell it was there, mother; you
couldn't tell it was there," he repeated over
and over. So long as Annie wept for the doll
he sat helpless with misery. Her grief wore

itself out. She forgave her brother—he was
so much upset. But a day or two afterwards
she was shocked.

"Let's make a sacrifice of Arabella," he
said. "Let's burn her."

She was horrified, yet rather fascinated.
She wanted to see what the boy would do.
He made an altar of bricks, pulled some of
the shavings out of Arabella's body, put the
waxen fragments into the hollow face,
poured on a little paraffin, and set the whole
thing alight. He watched with wicked
satisfaction the drops of wax melt off the
broken forehead of Arabella, and drop like
sweat into the flame. So long as the stupid
big doll burned he rejoiced in silence. At the
end be poked among the embers with a
stick, fished out the arms and legs, all
blackened, and smashed them under
stones.

"That's the sacrifice of Missis Arabella," he
said. "An' I'm glad there's nothing left of
her."

Which disturbed Annie inwardly, although
she could say nothing. He seemed to hate
the doll so intensely, because he had
broken it.

All the children, but particularly Paul, were
peculiarly against their father, along with
their mother. Morel continued to bully and to
drink. He had periods, months at a time,
when he made the whole life of the family a
misery. Paul never forgot coming home
from the Band of Hope one Monday
evening and finding his mother with her eye
swollen and discoloured, his father
standing on the hearthrug, feet astride, his
head down, and William, just home from
work, glaring at his father. There was a
silence as the young children entered, but
none of the elders looked round.

-44-

William was white to the lips, and his fists
were clenched. He waited until the children
were silent, watching with children's rage
and hate; then he said:

"You coward, you daren't do it when I was
in."

But Morel's blood was up. He swung round
on his son. William was bigger, but Morel
was hard-muscled, and mad with fury.

"Dossn't I?" he shouted. "Dossn't I? Ha'e
much more o' thy chelp, my young jockey,
an' I'll rattle my fist about thee. Ay, an' I sholl
that, dost see?"

Morel crouched at the knees and showed
his fist in an ugly, almost beast-like fashion.
William was white with rage.

"Will yer?" he said, quiet and intense. "It 'ud
be the last time, though."

Morel danced a little nearer, crouching,
drawing back his fist to strike. William put
his fists ready. A light came into his blue
eyes, almost like a laugh. He watched his
father. Another word, and the men would
have begun to fight. Paul hoped they would.
The three children sat pale on the sofa.

"Stop it, both of you," cried Mrs. Morel in a
hard voice. "We've had enough for ONE
night. And YOU," she said, turning on to her
husband, "look at your children!"

Morel glanced at the sofa.

"Look at the children, you nasty little bitch!"
he sneered. "Why, what have I done to the
children, I should like to know? But they're
like yourself; you've put 'em up to your own
tricks and nasty ways—you've learned 'em in
it, you 'ave."

She refused to answer him. No one spoke.
After a while he threw his boots under the
table and went to bed.

"Why didn't you let me have a go at him?"
said William, when his father was upstairs. "I
could easily have beaten him."

"A nice thing—your own father," she replied.

"'FATHER!'" repeated William. "Call HIM
MY father!"

"Well, he is—and so—-"

"But why don't you let me settle him? I could
do, easily."

"The idea!" she cried. "It hasn't come to
THAT yet."

"No," he said, "it's come to worse. Look at
yourself. WHY didn't you let me give it him?"

"Because I couldn't bear it, so never think of
it," she cried quickly.

And the children went to bed, miserably.

When William was growing up, the family
moved from the Bottoms to a house on the
brow of the hill, commanding a view of the
valley, which spread out like a convex
cockle-shell, or a clamp-shell, before it. In
front of the house was a huge old ash-tree.
The west wind, sweeping from Derbyshire,
caught the houses with full force, and the
tree shrieked again. Morel liked it.

"It's music," he said. "It sends me to sleep."

But Paul and Arthur and Annie hated it. To
Paul it became almost a demoniacal noise.
The winter of their first year in the new
house their father was very bad. The
children played in the street, on the brim of

-45-

the wide, dark valley, until eight o'clock.
Then they went to bed. Their mother sat
sewing below. Having such a great space in
front of the house gave the children a feeling
of night, of vastness, and of terror. This
terror came in from the shrieking of the tree
and the anguish of the home discord. Often
Paul would wake up, after he had been
asleep a long time, aware of thuds
downstairs. Instantly he was wide awake.
Then he heard the booming shouts of his
father, come home nearly drunk, then the
sharp replies of his mother, then the bang,
bang of his father's fist on the table, and the
nasty snarling shout as the man's voice got
higher. And then the whole was drowned in
a piercing medley of shrieks and cries from
the great, wind-swept ash-tree. The
children lay silent in suspense, waiting for a
lull in the wind to hear what their father was
doing. He might hit their mother again.
There was a feeling of horror, a kind of
bristling in the darkness, and a sense of
blood. They lay with their hearts in the grip of
an intense anguish. The wind came through
the tree fiercer and fiercer. All the chords of
the great harp hummed, whistled, and
shrieked. And then came the horror of the
sudden silence, silence everywhere,
outside and downstairs. What was it? Was it
a silence of blood? What had he done?

The children lay and breathed the darkness.
And then, at last, they heard their father
throw down his boots and tramp upstairs in
his stockinged feet. Still they listened. Then
at last, if the wind allowed, they heard the
water of the tap drumming into the kettle,
which their mother was filling for morning,
and they could go to sleep in peace.

So they were happy in the morning—happy,
very happy playing, dancing at night round
the lonely lamp-post in the midst of the
darkness. But they had one tight place of
anxiety in their hearts, one darkness in their

eyes, which showed all their lives.

Paul hated his father. As a boy he had a
fervent private religion.

"Make him stop drinking," he prayed every
night. "Lord, let my father die," he prayed
very often. "Let him not be killed at pit," he
prayed when, after tea, the father did not
come home from work.

That was another time when the family
suffered intensely. The children came from
school and had their teas. On the hob the
big black saucepan was simmering, the
stew-jar was in the oven, ready for Morel's
dinner. He was expected at five o'clock. But
for months he would stop and drink every
night on his way from work.

In the winter nights, when it was cold, and
grew dark early, Mrs. Morel would put a
brass candlestick on the table, light a tallow
candle to save the gas. The children
finished their bread-and-butter, or
dripping, and were ready to go out to play.
But if Morel had not come they faltered. The
sense of his sitting in all his pit-dirt,
drinking, after a long day's work, not
coming home and eating and washing, but
sitting, getting drunk, on an empty stomach,
made Mrs. Morel unable to bear herself.
From her the feeling was transmitted to the
other children. She never suffered alone any
more: the children suffered with her.

Paul went out to play with the rest. Down in
the great trough of twilight, tiny clusters of
lights burned where the pits were. A few last
colliers straggled up the dim field path. The
lamplighter came along. No more colliers
came. Darkness shut down over the valley;
work was done. It was night.

Then Paul ran anxiously into the kitchen. The
one candle still burned on the table, the big

-46-

fire glowed red. Mrs. Morel sat alone. On
the hob the saucepan steamed; the dinner-
plate lay waiting on the table. All the room
was full of the sense of waiting, waiting for
the man who was sitting in his pit-dirt,
dinnerless, some mile away from home,
across the darkness, drinking himself
drunk. Paul stood in the doorway.

"Has my dad come?" he asked.

"You can see he hasn't," said Mrs. Morel,
cross with the futility of the question.

Then the boy dawdled about near his
mother. They shared the same anxiety.
Presently Mrs. Morel went out and strained
the potatoes.

"They're ruined and black," she said; "but
what do I care?"

Not many words were spoken. Paul almost
hated his mother for suffering because his
father did not come home from work.

"What do you bother yourself for?" he said.
"If he wants to stop and get drunk, why don't
you let him?"

"Let him!" flashed Mrs. Morel. "You may well
say 'let him'."

She knew that the man who stops on the
way home from work is on a quick way to
ruining himself and his home. The children
were yet young, and depended on the
breadwinner. William gave her the sense of
relief, providing her at last with someone to
turn to if Morel failed. But the tense
atmosphere of the room on these waiting
evenings was the same.

The minutes ticked away. At six o'clock still
the cloth lay on the table, still the dinner
stood waiting, still the same sense of

anxiety and expectation in the room. The
boy could not stand it any longer. He could
not go out and play. So he ran in to Mrs.
Inger, next door but one, for her to talk to
him. She had no children. Her husband was
good to her but was in a shop, and came
home late. So, when she saw the lad at the
door, she called:

"Come in, Paul."

The two sat talking for some time, when
suddenly the boy rose, saying:

"Well, I'll be going and seeing if my mother
wants an errand doing."

He pretended to be perfectly cheerful, and
did not tell his friend what ailed him. Then he
ran indoors.

Morel at these times came in churlish and
hateful.

"This is a nice time to come home," said
Mrs. Morel.

"Wha's it matter to yo' what time I come
whoam?" he shouted.

And everybody in the house was still,
because he was dangerous. He ate his
food in the most brutal manner possible,
and, when he had done, pushed all the pots
in a heap away from him, to lay his arms on
the table. Then he went to sleep.

Paul hated his father so. The collier's small,
mean head, with its black hair slightly soiled
with grey, lay on the bare arms, and the
face, dirty and inflamed, with a fleshy nose
and thin, paltry brows, was turned
sideways, asleep with beer and weariness
and nasty temper. If anyone entered
suddenly, or a noise were made, the man
looked up and shouted:

-47-

"I'll lay my fist about thy y'ead, I'm tellin'
thee, if tha doesna stop that clatter! Dost
hear?"

And the two last words, shouted in a bullying
fashion, usually at Annie, made the family
writhe with hate of the man.

He was shut out from all family affairs. No
one told him anything. The children, alone
with their mother, told her all about the day's
happenings, everything. Nothing had really
taken place in them until it was told to their
mother. But as soon as the father came in,
everything stopped. He was like the scotch
in the smooth, happy machinery of the
home. And he was always aware of this fall
of silence on his entry, the shutting off of
life, the unwelcome. But now it was gone
too far to alter.

He would dearly have liked the children to
talk to him, but they could not. Sometimes
Mrs. Morel would say:

"You ought to tell your father."

Paul won a prize in a competition in a
child's paper. Everybody was highly
jubilant.

"Now you'd better tell your father when be
comes in," said Mrs. Morel. "You know how
be carries on and says he's never told
anything."

"All right," said Paul. But he would almost
rather have forfeited the prize than have to
tell his father.

"I've won a prize in a competition, dad," he
said. Morel turned round to him.

"Have you, my boy? What sort of a
competition?"

"Oh, nothing—about famous women."

"And how much is the prize, then, as you've
got?"

"It's a book."

"Oh, indeed! "

"About birds."

"Hm—hm! "

And that was all. Conversation was
impossible between the father and any
other member of the family. He was an
outsider. He had denied the God in him.

The only times when he entered again into
the life of his own people was when he
worked, and was happy at work.
Sometimes, in the evening, he cobbled the
boots or mended the kettle or his pit-bottle.
Then he always wanted several attendants,
and the children enjoyed it. They united with
him in the work, in the actual doing of
something, when he was his real self again.

He was a good workman, dexterous, and
one who, when he was in a good humour,
always sang. He had whole periods,
months, almost years, of friction and nasty
temper. Then sometimes he was jolly
again. It was nice to see him run with a
piece of red-hot iron into the scullery,
crying:

"Out of my road—out of my road!"

Then he hammered the soft, red-glowing
stuff on his iron goose, and made the shape
he wanted. Or he sat absorbed for a
moment, soldering. Then the children
watched with joy as the metal sank
suddenly molten, and was shoved about
against the nose of the soldering-iron,

-48-

while the room was full of a scent of burnt
resin and hot tin, and Morel was silent and
intent for a minute. He always sang when he
mended boots because of the jolly sound of
hammering. And he was rather happy when
he sat putting great patches on his moleskin
pit trousers, which he would often do,
considering them too dirty, and the stuff too
hard, for his wife to mend.

But the best time for the young children was
when he made fuses. Morel fetched a sheaf
of long sound wheat-straws from the attic.
These he cleaned with his hand, till each
one gleamed like a stalk of gold, after which
he cut the straws into lengths of about six
inches, leaving, if he could, a notch at the
bottom of each piece. He always had a
beautifully sharp knife that could cut a straw
clean without hurting it. Then he set in the
middle of the table a heap of gunpowder, a
little pile of black grains upon the white-
scrubbed board. He made and trimmed the
straws while Paul and Annie rifled and
plugged them. Paul loved to see the black
grains trickle down a crack in his palm into
the mouth of the straw, peppering jollily
downwards till the straw was full. Then he
bunged up the mouth with a bit of
soap—which he got on his thumb-nail from a
pat in a saucer—and the straw was finished.

"Look, dad!" he said.

"That's right, my beauty," replied Morel,
who was peculiarly lavish of endearments
to his second son. Paul popped the fuse
into the powder-tin, ready for the morning,
when Morel would take it to the pit, and use
it to fire a shot that would blast the coal
down.

Meantime Arthur, still fond of his father,
would lean on the arm of Morel's chair and
say:

"Tell us about down pit, daddy."

This Morel loved to do.

"Well, there's one little 'oss—we call 'im
Taffy," he would begin. "An' he's a fawce
'un!"

Morel had a warm way of telling a story. He
made one feel Taffy's cunning.

"He's a brown 'un," he would answer, "an'
not very high. Well, he comes i' th' stall wi' a
rattle, an' then yo' 'ear 'im sneeze.

"'Ello, Taff,' you say, 'what art sneezin' for?
Bin ta'ein' some snuff?'

"An' 'e sneezes again. Then he slives up an'
shoves 'is 'ead on yer, that cadin'.

"'What's want, Taff?' yo' say."

"And what does he?" Arthur always asked.

"He wants a bit o' bacca, my duckie."

This story of Taffy would go on interminably,
and everybody loved it.

Or sometimes it was a new tale.

"An' what dost think, my darlin'? When I went
to put my coat on at snap-time, what should
go runnin' up my arm but a mouse.

"'Hey up, theer!' I shouts.

"An' I wor just in time ter get 'im by th' tail."

"And did you kill it?"

"I did, for they're a nuisance. The place is
fair snied wi' 'em."

"An' what do they live on?"

-49-

"The corn as the 'osses drops—an' they'll get
in your pocket an' eat your snap, if you'll let
'em—no matter where yo' hing your coat—the
slivin', nibblin' little nuisances, for they are."

These happy evenings could not take place
unless Morel had some job to do. And then
he always went to bed very early, often
before the children. There was nothing
remaining for him to stay up for, when he
had finished tinkering, and had skimmed
the headlines of the newspaper.

And the children felt secure when their
father was in bed. They lay and talked softly
a while. Then they started as the lights went
suddenly sprawling over the ceiling from the
lamps that swung in the hands of the colliers
tramping by outside, going to take the nine
o'clock shift. They listened to the voices of
the men, imagined them dipping down into
the dark valley. Sometimes they went to the
window and watched the three or four
lamps growing tinier and tinier, swaying
down the fields in the darkness. Then it was
a joy to rush back to bed and cuddle closely
in the warmth.

Paul was rather a delicate boy, subject to
bronchitis. The others were all quite strong;
so this was another reason for his mother's
difference in feeling for him. One day he
came home at dinner-time feeling ill. But it
was not a family to make any fuss.

"What's the matter with YOU?" his mother
asked sharply.

"Nothing," he replied.

But he ate no dinner.

"If you eat no dinner, you're not going to
school," she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"That's why."

So after dinner he lay down on the sofa, on
the warm chintz cushions the children loved.
Then he fell into a kind of doze. That
afternoon Mrs. Morel was ironing. She
listened to the small, restless noise the boy
made in his throat as she worked. Again
rose in her heart the old, almost weary
feeling towards him. She had never
expected him to live. And yet he had a great
vitality in his young body. Perhaps it would
have been a little relief to her if he had died.
She always felt a mixture of anguish in her
love for him.

He, in his semi-conscious sleep, was
vaguely aware of the clatter of the iron on
the iron-stand, of the faint thud, thud on the
ironing-board. Once roused, he opened his
eyes to see his mother standing on the
hearthrug with the hot iron near her cheek,
listening, as it were, to the heat. Her still
face, with the mouth closed tight from
suffering and disillusion and self-denial,
and her nose the smallest bit on one side,
and her blue eyes so young, quick, and
warm, made his heart contract with love.
When she was quiet, so, she looked brave
and rich with life, but as if she had been
done out of her rights. It hurt the boy keenly,
this feeling about her that she had never had
her life's fulfilment: and his own incapability
to make up to her hurt him with a sense of
impotence, yet made him patiently dogged
inside. It was his childish aim.

She spat on the iron, and a little ball of spit
bounded, raced off the dark, glossy
surface. Then, kneeling, she rubbed the iron
on the sack lining of the hearthrug
vigorously. She was warm in the ruddy
firelight. Paul loved the way she crouched
and put her head on one side. Her
movements were light and quick. It was
always a pleasure to watch her. Nothing she

-50-

ever did, no movement she ever made,
could have been found fault with by her
children. The room was warm and full of the
scent of hot linen. Later on the clergyman
came and talked softly with her.

Paul was laid up with an attack of
bronchitis. He did not mind much. What
happened happened, and it was no good
kicking against the pricks. He loved the
evenings, after eight o'clock, when the light
was put out, and he could watch the fire-
flames spring over the darkness of the walls
and ceiling; could watch huge shadows
waving and tossing, till the room seemed
full of men who battled silently.

On retiring to bed, the father would come
into the sickroom. He was always very
gentle if anyone were ill. But he disturbed
the atmosphere for the boy.

"Are ter asleep, my darlin'?" Morel asked
softly.

"No; is my mother comin'?"

"She's just finishin' foldin' the clothes. Do
you want anything?" Morel rarely "thee'd" his
son.

"I don't want nothing. But how long will she
be?"

"Not long, my duckie."

The father waited undecidedly on the
hearthrug for a moment or two. He felt his
son did not want him. Then he went to the
top of the stairs and said to his wife:

"This childt's axin' for thee; how long art
goin' to be?"

"Until I've finished, good gracious! Tell him
to go to sleep."

"She says you're to go to sleep," the father
repeated gently to Paul.

"Well, I want HER to come," insisted the boy.

"He says he can't go off till you come,"
Morel called downstairs.

"Eh, dear! I shan't be long. And do stop
shouting downstairs. There's the other
children—-"

Then Morel came again and crouched
before the bedroom fire. He loved a fire
dearly.

"She says she won't be long," he said.

He loitered about indefinitely. The boy
began to get feverish with irritation. His
father's presence seemed to aggravate all
his sick impatience. At last Morel, after
having stood looking at his son awhile, said
softly:

"Good-night, my darling."

"Good-night," Paul replied, turning round in
relief to be alone.

Paul loved to sleep with his mother. Sleep is
still most perfect, in spite of hygienists,
when it is shared with a beloved. The
warmth, the security and peace of soul, the
utter comfort from the touch of the other,
knits the sleep, so that it takes the body and
soul completely in its healing. Paul lay
against her and slept, and got better; whilst
she, always a bad sleeper, fell later on into
a profound sleep that seemed to give her
faith.

In convalescence he would sit up in bed,
see the fluffy horses feeding at the troughs
in the field, scattering their hay on the
trodden yellow snow; watch the miners

-51-

troop home—small, black figures trailing
slowly in gangs across the white field. Then
the night came up in dark blue vapour from
the snow.

In convalescence everything was wonderful.
The snowflakes, suddenly arriving on the
window-pane, clung there a moment like
swallows, then were gone, and a drop of
water was crawling down the glass. The
snowflakes whirled round the corner of the
house, like pigeons dashing by. Away
across the valley the little black train crawled
doubtfully over the great whiteness.

While they were so poor, the children were
delighted if they could do anything to help
economically. Annie and Paul and Arthur
went out early in the morning, in summer,
looking for mushrooms, hunting through the
wet grass, from which the larks were rising,
for the white-skinned, wonderful naked
bodies crouched secretly in the green. And
if they got half a pound they felt exceedingly
happy: there was the joy of finding
something, the joy of accepting something
straight from the hand of Nature, and the joy
of contributing to the family exchequer.

But the most important harvest, after
gleaning for frumenty, was the blackberries.
Mrs. Morel must buy fruit for puddings on the
Saturdays; also she liked blackberries. So
Paul and Arthur scoured the coppices and
woods and old quarries, so long as a
blackberry was to be found, every week-
end going on their search. In that region of
mining villages blackberries became a
comparative rarity. But Paul hunted far and
wide. He loved being out in the country,
among the bushes. But he also could not
bear to go home to his mother empty. That,
he felt, would disappoint her, and he would
have died rather.

"Good gracious!" she would exclaim as the

lads came in, late, and tired to death, and
hungry, "wherever have you been?"

"Well," replied Paul, "there wasn't any, so
we went over Misk Hills. And look here, our
mother!"

She peeped into the basket.

"Now, those are fine ones!" she exclaimed.

"And there's over two pounds-isn't there
over two pounds"?

She tried the basket.

"Yes," she answered doubtfully.

Then Paul fished out a little spray. He
always brought her one spray, the best he
could find.

"Pretty!" she said, in a curious tone, of a
woman accepting a love-token.

The boy walked all day, went miles and
miles, rather than own himself beaten and
come home to her empty-handed. She
never realised this, whilst he was young.
She was a woman who waited for her
children to grow up. And William occupied
her chiefly.

But when William went to Nottingham, and
was not so much at home, the mother made
a companion of Paul. The latter was
unconsciously jealous of his brother, and
William was jealous of him. At the same
time, they were good friends.

Mrs. Morel's intimacy with her second son
was more subtle and fine, perhaps not so
passionate as with her eldest. It was the rule
that Paul should fetch the money on Friday
afternoons. The colliers of the five pits were
paid on Fridays, but not individually. All the

-52-

earnings of each stall were put down to the
chief butty, as contractor, and he divided
the wages again, either in the public-house
or in his own home. So that the children
could fetch the money, school closed early
on Friday afternoons. Each of the Morel
children—William, then Annie, then Paul—had
fetched the money on Friday afternoons,
until they went themselves to work. Paul
used to set off at half-past three, with a little
calico bag in his pocket. Down all the paths,
women, girls, children, and men were seen
trooping to the offices.

These offices were quite handsome: a
new, red-brick building, almost like a
mansion, standing in its own grounds at the
end of Greenhill Lane. The waiting-room
was the hall, a long, bare room paved with
blue brick, and having a seat all round,
against the wall. Here sat the colliers in their
pit-dirt. They had come up early. The
women and children usually loitered about
on the red gravel paths. Paul always
examined the grass border, and the big
grass bank, because in it grew tiny pansies
and tiny forget-me-nots. There was a
sound of many voices. The women had on
their Sunday hats. The girls chattered loudly.
Little dogs ran here and there. The green
shrubs were silent all around.

Then from inside came the cry "Spinney
Park—Spinney Park." All the folk for Spinney
Park trooped inside. When it was time for
Bretty to be paid, Paul went in among the
crowd. The pay-room was quite small. A
counter went across, dividing it into half.
Behind the counter stood two men—Mr.
Braithwaite and his clerk, Mr. Winterbottom.
Mr. Braithwaite was large, somewhat of the
stern patriarch in appearance, having a
rather thin white beard. He was usually
muffled in an enormous silk neckerchief,
and right up to the hot summer a huge fire
burned in the open grate. No window was

open. Sometimes in winter the air scorched
the throats of the people, coming in from the
freshness. Mr. Winterbottom was rather
small and fat, and very bald. He made
remarks that were not witty, whilst his chief
launched forth patriarchal admonitions
against the colliers.

The room was crowded with miners in their
pit-dirt, men who had been home and
changed, and women, and one or two
children, and usually a dog. Paul was quite
small, so it was often his fate to be jammed
behind the legs of the men, near the fire
which scorched him. He knew the order of
the names—they went according to stall
number.

"Holliday," came the ringing voice of Mr.
Braithwaite. Then Mrs. Holliday stepped
silently forward, was paid, drew aside.

"Bower—John Bower."

A boy stepped to the counter. Mr.
Braithwaite, large and irascible, glowered
at him over his spectacles.

"John Bower!" he repeated.

"It's me," said the boy.

"Why, you used to 'ave a different nose than
that," said glossy Mr. Winterbottom, peering
over the counter. The people tittered,
thinking of John Bower senior.

"How is it your father's not come!" said Mr.
Braithwaite, in a large and magisterial
voice.

"He's badly," piped the boy.

"You should tell him to keep off the drink,"
pronounced the great cashier.

-53-

"An' niver mind if he puts his foot through
yer," said a mocking voice from behind.

All the men laughed. The large and
important cashier looked down at his next
sheet.

"Fred Pilkington!" he called, quite
indifferent.

Mr. Braithwaite was an important
shareholder in the firm.

Paul knew his turn was next but one, and his
heart began to beat. He was pushed
against the chimney-piece. His calves were
burning. But he did not hope to get through
the wall of men.

"Walter Morel!" came the ringing voice.

"Here!" piped Paul, small and inadequate.

"Morel—Walter Morel!" the cashier repeated,
his finger and thumb on the invoice, ready to
pass on.

Paul was suffering convulsions of self-
consciousness, and could not or would not
shout. The backs of the men obliterated
him. Then Mr. Winterbottom came to the
rescue.

"He's here. Where is he? Morel's lad?"

The fat, red, bald little man peered round
with keen eyes. He pointed at the fireplace.
The colliers looked round, moved aside,
and disclosed the boy.

"Here he is!" said Mr. Winterbottom.

Paul went to the counter.

"Seventeen pounds eleven and fivepence.
Why don't you shout up when you're called?"

said Mr. Braithwaite. He banged on to the
invoice a five-pound bag of silver, then in a
delicate and pretty movement, picked up a
little ten-pound column of gold, and
plumped it beside the silver. The gold slid in
a bright stream over the paper. The cashier
finished counting off the money; the boy
dragged the whole down the counter to Mr.
Winterbottom, to whom the stoppages for
rent and tools must be paid. Here he
suffered again.

"Sixteen an' six," said Mr. Winterbottom.

The lad was too much upset to count. He
pushed forward some loose silver and half
a sovereign.

"How much do you think you've given me?"
asked Mr. Winterbottom.

The boy looked at him, but said nothing. He
had not the faintest notion.

"Haven't you got a tongue in your head?"

Paul bit his lip, and pushed forward some
more silver.

"Don't they teach you to count at the Board-
school?" he asked.

"Nowt but algibbra an' French," said a
collier.

"An' cheek an' impidence," said another.

Paul was keeping someone waiting. With
trembling fingers he got his money into the
bag and slid out. He suffered the tortures of
the damned on these occasions.

His relief, when he got outside, and was
walking along the Mansfield Road, was
infinite. On the park wall the mosses were
green. There were some gold and some

-54-

white fowls pecking under the apple trees
of an orchard. The colliers were walking
home in a stream. The boy went near the
wall, self-consciously. He knew many of the
men, but could not recognise them in their
dirt. And this was a new torture to him.

When he got down to the New Inn, at Bretty,
his father was not yet come. Mrs. Wharmby,
the landlady, knew him. His grandmother,
Morel's mother, had been Mrs. Wharmby's
friend.

"Your father's not come yet," said the
landlady, in the peculiar half-scornful, half-
patronising voice of a woman who talks
chiefly to grown men. "Sit you down."

Paul sat down on the edge of the bench in
the bar. Some colliers were
"reckoning"—sharing out their money—in a
corner; others came in. They all glanced at
the boy without speaking. At last Morel
came; brisk, and with something of an air,
even in his blackness.

"Hello!" he said rather tenderly to his son.
"Have you bested me? Shall you have a
drink of something?"

Paul and all the children were bred up fierce
anti-alcoholists, and he would have
suffered more in drinking a lemonade
before all the men than in having a tooth
drawn.

The landlady looked at him de haut en bas,
rather pitying, and at the same time,
resenting his clear, fierce morality. Paul
went home, glowering. He entered the
house silently. Friday was baking day, and
there was usually a hot bun. His mother put it
before him.

Suddenly he turned on her in a fury, his eyes
flashing:

"I'm NOT going to the office any more," he
said.

"Why, what's the matter?" his mother asked
in surprise. His sudden rages rather
amused her.

"I'm NOT going any more," he declared.

"Oh, very well, tell your father so."

He chewed his bun as if he hated it.

"I'm not—I'm not going to fetch the money."

"Then one of Carlin's children can go;
they'd be glad enough of the sixpence,"
said Mrs. Morel.

This sixpence was Paul's only income. It
mostly went in buying birthday presents; but
it WAS an income, and he treasured it. But—

"They can have it, then!" he said. "I don't
want it."

"Oh, very well," said his mother. "But you
needn't bully ME about it."

"They're hateful, and common, and hateful,
they are, and I'm not going any more. Mr.
Braithwaite drops his 'h's', an' Mr.
Winterbottom says 'You was'."

"And is that why you won't go any more?"
smiled Mrs. Morel.

The boy was silent for some time. His face
was pale, his eyes dark and furious. His
mother moved about at her work, taking no
notice of him.

"They always stan' in front of me, so's I
can't get out," he said.

"Well, my lad, you've only to ASK them," she

-55-

replied.

"An' then Alfred Winterbottom says, 'What
do they teach you at the Board-school?'"

"They never taught HIM much," said Mrs.
Morel, "that is a fact—neither manners nor
wit—and his cunning he was born with."

So, in her own way, she soothed him. His
ridiculous hypersensitiveness made her
heart ache. And sometimes the fury in his
eyes roused her, made her sleeping soul lift
up its head a moment, surprised.

"What was the cheque?" she asked.

"Seventeen pounds eleven and fivepence,
and sixteen and six stoppages," replied the
boy. "It's a good week; and only five
shillings stoppages for my father."

So she was able to calculate how much her
husband had earned, and could call him to
account if he gave her short money. Morel
always kept to himself the secret of the
week's amount.

Friday was the baking night and market
night. It was the rule that Paul should stay at
home and bake. He loved to stop in and
draw or read; he was very fond of drawing.
Annie always "gallivanted" on Friday nights;
Arthur was enjoying himself as usual. So
the boy remained alone.

Mrs. Morel loved her marketing. In the tiny
market-place on the top of the hill, where
four roads, from Nottingham and Derby,
Ilkeston and Mansfield, meet, many stalls
were erected. Brakes ran in from
surrounding villages. The market-place
was full of women, the streets packed with
men. It was amazing to see so many men
everywhere in the streets. Mrs. Morel usually
quarrelled with her lace woman,

sympathised with her fruit man—who was a
gabey, but his wife was a bad 'un—laughed
with the fish man—who was a scamp but so
droll—put the linoleum man in his place, was
cold with the odd-wares man, and only
went to the crockery man when she was
driven—or drawn by the cornflowers on a little
dish; then she was coldly polite.

"I wondered how much that little dish was,"
she said.

"Sevenpence to you."

"Thank you."

She put the dish down and walked away;
but she could not leave the market-place
without it. Again she went by where the pots
lay coldly on the floor, and she glanced at
the dish furtively, pretending not to.

She was a little woman, in a bonnet and a
black costume. Her bonnet was in its third
year; it was a great grievance to Annie.

"Mother!" the girl implored, "don't wear that
nubbly little bonnet."

"Then what else shall I wear," replied the
mother tartly. "And I'm sure it's right
enough."

It had started with a tip; then had had
flowers; now was reduced to black lace and
a bit of jet.

"It looks rather come down," said Paul.
"Couldn't you give it a pick-me-up?"

"I'll jowl your head for impudence," said
Mrs. Morel, and she tied the strings of the
black bonnet valiantly under her chin.

She glanced at the dish again. Both she and
her enemy, the pot man, had an

-56-

uncomfortable feeling, as if there were
something between them. Suddenly he
shouted:

"Do you want it for fivepence?"

She started. Her heart hardened; but then
she stooped and took up her dish.

"I'll have it," she said.

"Yer'll do me the favour, like?" he said.
"Yer'd better spit in it, like yer do when y'ave
something give yer."

Mrs. Morel paid him the fivepence in a cold
manner.

"I don't see you give it me," she said. "You
wouldn't let me have it for fivepence if you
didn't want to."

"In this flamin', scrattlin' place you may
count yerself lucky if you can give your
things away," he growled.

"Yes; there are bad times, and good," said
Mrs. Morel.

But she had forgiven the pot man. They
were friends. She dare now finger his pots.
So she was happy.

Paul was waiting for her. He loved her
home-coming. She was always her best
so—triumphant, tired, laden with parcels,
feeling rich in spirit. He heard her quick,
light step in the entry and looked up from his
drawing.

"Oh!" she sighed, smiling at him from the
doorway.

"My word, you ARE loaded!" he exclaimed,
putting down his brush.

"I am!" she gasped. "That brazen Annie said
she'd meet me. SUCH a weight!"

She dropped her string bag and her
packages on the table.

"Is the bread done?" she asked, going to the
oven.

"The last one is soaking," he replied. "You
needn't look, I've not forgotten it."

"Oh, that pot man!" she said, closing the
oven door. "You know what a wretch I've
said he was? Well, I don't think he's quite so
bad."

"Don't you?"

The boy was attentive to her. She took off
her little black bonnet.

"No. I think he can't make any money—well,
it's everybody's cry alike nowadays—and it
makes him disagreeable."

"It would ME," said Paul.

"Well, one can't wonder at it. And he let me
have—how much do you think he let me have
THIS for?"

She took the dish out of its rag of
newspaper, and stood looking on it with
joy.

"Show me!" said Paul.

The two stood together gloating over the
dish.

"I LOVE cornflowers on things," said Paul.

"Yes, and I thought of the teapot you bought
me—-"

-57-

"One and three," said Paul.

"Fivepence!"

"It's not enough, mother."

"No. Do you know, I fairly sneaked off with
it. But I'd been extravagant, I couldn't afford
any more. And he needn't have let me have
it if he hadn't wanted to."

"No, he needn't, need he," said Paul, and
the two comforted each other from the fear
of having robbed the pot man.

"We c'n have stewed fruit in it," said Paul.

"Or custard, or a jelly," said his mother.

"Or radishes and lettuce," said he.

"Don't forget that bread," she said, her
voice bright with glee.

Paul looked in the oven; tapped the loaf on
the base.

"It's done," he said, giving it to her.

She tapped it also.

"Yes," she replied, going to unpack her bag.
"Oh, and I'm a wicked, extravagant woman.
I know I s'll come to want."

He hopped to her side eagerly, to see her
latest extravagance. She unfolded another
lump of newspaper and disclosed some
roots of pansies and of crimson daisies.

"Four penn'orth!" she moaned.

"How CHEAP!" he cried.

"Yes, but I couldn't afford it THIS week of all
weeks."

"But lovely!" he cried.

"Aren't they!" she exclaimed, giving way to
pure joy. "Paul, look at this yellow one, isn't
it—and a face just like an old man!"

"Just!" cried Paul, stooping to sniff. "And
smells that nice! But he's a bit splashed."

He ran in the scullery, came back with the
flannel, and carefully washed the pansy.

"NOW look at him now he's wet!" he said.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, brimful of
satisfaction.

The children of Scargill Street felt quite
select. At the end where the Morels lived
there were not many young things. So the
few were more united. Boys and girls
played together, the girls joining in the
fights and the rough games, the boys taking
part in the dancing games and rings and
make-belief of the girls.

Annie and Paul and Arthur loved the winter
evenings, when it was not wet. They stayed
indoors till the colliers were all gone home,
till it was thick dark, and the street would be
deserted. Then they tied their scarves round
their necks, for they scorned overcoats, as
all the colliers' children did, and went out.
The entry was very dark, and at the end the
whole great night opened out, in a hollow,
with a little tangle of lights below where
Minton pit lay, and another far away
opposite for Selby. The farthest tiny lights
seemed to stretch out the darkness for ever.
The children looked anxiously down the
road at the one lamp-post, which stood at
the end of the field path. If the little, luminous
space were deserted, the two boys felt
genuine desolation. They stood with their
hands in their pockets under the lamp,
turning their backs on the night, quite

-58-

miserable, watching the dark houses.
Suddenly a pinafore under a short coat was
seen, and a long-legged girl came flying up.

"Where's Billy Pillins an' your Annie an'
Eddie Dakin?"

"I don't know."

But it did not matter so much—there were
three now. They set up a game round the
lamp-post, till the others rushed up, yelling.
Then the play went fast and furious.

There was only this one lamp-post. Behind
was the great scoop of darkness, as if all
the night were there. In front, another wide,
dark way opened over the hill brow.
Occasionally somebody came out of this
way and went into the field down the path. In
a dozen yards the night had swallowed
them. The children played on.

They were brought exceedingly close
together owing to their isolation. If a quarrel
took place, the whole play was spoilt. Arthur
was very touchy, and Billy Pillins—really
Philips—was worse. Then Paul had to side
with Arthur, and on Paul's side went Alice,
while Billy Pillins always had Emmie Limb
and Eddie Dakin to back him up. Then the
six would fight, hate with a fury of hatred,
and flee home in terror. Paul never forgot,
after one of these fierce internecine fights,
seeing a big red moon lift itself up, slowly,
between the waste road over the hilltop,
steadily, like a great bird. And he thought of
the Bible, that the moon should be turned to
blood. And the next day he made haste to
be friends with Billy Pillins. And then the
wild, intense games went on again under
the lamp-post, surrounded by so much
darkness. Mrs. Morel, going into her
parlour, would hear the children singing
away:


"My shoes are made of Spanish leather,
My socks are made of silk;
I wear a ring on every finger,
I wash myself in milk."

They sounded so perfectly absorbed in the
game as their voices came out of the night,
that they had the feel of wild creatures
singing. It stirred the mother; and she
understood when they came in at eight
o'clock, ruddy, with brilliant eyes, and
quick, passionate speech.

They all loved the Scargill Street house for
its openness, for the great scallop of the
world it had in view. On summer evenings
the women would stand against the field
fence, gossiping, facing the west, watching
the sunsets flare quickly out, till the
Derbyshire hills ridged across the crimson
far away, like the black crest of a newt.

In this summer season the pits never turned
full time, particularly the soft coal. Mrs.
Dakin, who lived next door to Mrs. Morel,
going to the field fence to shake her
hearthrug, would spy men coming slowly up
the hill. She saw at once they were colliers.
Then she waited, a tall, thin, shrew-faced
woman, standing on the hill brow, almost
like a menace to the poor colliers who were
toiling up. It was only eleven o'clock. From
the far-off wooded hills the haze that hangs
like fine black crape at the back of a
summer morning had not yet dissipated.
The first man came to the stile. "Chock-
chock!" went the gate under his thrust.

"What, han' yer knocked off?" cried Mrs.
Dakin.

"We han, missis."

"It's a pity as they letn yer goo," she said
sarcastically.

-59-

"It is that," replied the man.

"Nay, you know you're flig to come up
again," she said.

And the man went on. Mrs. Dakin, going up
her yard, spied Mrs. Morel taking the ashes
to the ash-pit.

"I reckon Minton's knocked off, missis," she
cried.

"Isn't it sickenin!" exclaimed Mrs. Morel in
wrath.

"Ha! But I'n just seed Jont Hutchby."

"They might as well have saved their shoe-
leather," said Mrs. Morel. And both women
went indoors disgusted.

The colliers, their faces scarcely
blackened, were trooping home again.
Morel hated to go back. He loved the sunny
morning. But he had gone to pit to work, and
to be sent home again spoilt his temper.

"Good gracious, at this time!" exclaimed his
wife, as he entered.

"Can I help it, woman?" he shouted.

"And I've not done half enough dinner."

"Then I'll eat my bit o' snap as I took with
me," he bawled pathetically. He felt
ignominious and sore.

And the children, coming home from
school, would wonder to see their father
eating with his dinner the two thick slices of
rather dry and dirty bread-and-butter that
had been to pit and back. !" exclaimed his
wife.

"An' is it goin' to be wasted?" said Morel.

"I'm not such a extravagant mortal as you lot,
with your waste. If I drop a bit of bread at pit,
in all the dust an' dirt, I pick it up an' eat it."

"The mice would eat it," said Paul. "It
wouldn't be wasted."

"Good bread-an'-butter's not for mice,
either," said Morel. "Dirty or not dirty, I'd eat
it rather than it should be wasted."

"You might leave it for the mice and pay for it
out of your next pint," said Mrs. Morel.

"Oh, might I?" he exclaimed.

They were very poor that autumn. William
had just gone away to London, and his
mother missed his money. He sent ten
shillings once or twice, but he had many
things to pay for at first. His letters came
regularly once a week. He wrote a good
deal to his mother, telling her all his life, how
he made friends, and was exchanging
lessons with a Frenchman, how he enjoyed
London. His mother felt again he was
remaining to her just as when he was at
home. She wrote to him every week her
direct, rather witty letters. All day long, as
she cleaned the house, she thought of him.
He was in London: he would do well.
Almost, he was like her knight who wore
HER favour in the battle.

He was coming at Christmas for five days.
There had never been such preparations.
Paul and Arthur scoured the land for holly
and evergreens. Annie made the pretty
paper hoops in the old-fashioned way. And
there was unheard-of extravagance in the
larder. Mrs. Morel made a big and
magnificent cake. Then, feeling queenly,
she showed Paul how to blanch almonds.
He skinned the long nuts reverently,
counting them all, to see not one was lost. It
was said that eggs whisked better in a cold

-60-

place. So the boy stood in the scullery,
where the temperature was nearly at
freezing-point, and whisked and whisked,
and flew in excitement to his mother as the
white of egg grew stiffer and more snowy.

"Just look, mother! Isn't it lovely?"

And he balanced a bit on his nose, then
blew it in the air.

"Now, don't waste it," said the mother.

Everybody was mad with excitement.
William was coming on Christmas Eve. Mrs.
Morel surveyed her pantry. There was a big
plum cake, and a rice cake, jam tarts,
lemon tarts, and mince-pies—two enormous
dishes. She was finishing cooking—Spanish
tarts and cheese-cakes. Everywhere was
decorated. The kissing bunch of berried
holly hung with bright and glittering things,
spun slowly over Mrs. Morel's head as she
trimmed her little tarts in the kitchen. A great
fire roared. There was a scent of cooked
pastry. He was due at seven o'clock, but he
would be late. The three children had gone
to meet him. She was alone. But at a quarter
to seven Morel came in again. Neither wife
nor husband spoke. He sat in his armchair,
quite awkward with excitement, and she
quietly went on with her baking. Only by the
careful way in which she did things could it
be told how much moved she was. The
clock ticked on.

"What time dost say he's coming?" Morel
asked for the fifth time.

"The train gets in at half-past six," she
replied emphatically.

"Then he'll be here at ten past seven."

"Eh, bless you, it'll be hours late on the
Midland," she said indifferently. But she

hoped, by expecting him late, to bring him
early. Morel went down the entry to look for
him. Then he came back.

"Goodness, man!" she said. "You're like an
ill-sitting hen."

"Hadna you better be gettin' him summat t'
eat ready?" asked the father.

"There's plenty of time," she answered.

"There's not so much as I can see on," he
answered, turning crossly in his chair. She
began to clear her table. The kettle was
singing. They waited and waited.

Meantime the three children were on the
platform at Sethley Bridge, on the Midland
main line, two miles from home. They
waited one hour. A train came—he was not
there. Down the line the red and green lights
shone. It was very dark and very cold.

"Ask him if the London train's come," said
Paul to Annie, when they saw a man in a tip
cap.

"I'm not," said Annie. "You be quiet—he might
send us off."

But Paul was dying for the man to know they
were expecting someone by the London
train: it sounded so grand. Yet he was much
too much scared of broaching any man, let
alone one in a peaked cap, to dare to ask.
The three children could scarcely go into the
waiting-room for fear of being sent away,
and for fear something should happen
whilst they were off the platform. Still they
waited in the dark and cold.

"It's an hour an' a half late," said Arthur
pathetically.

"Well," said Annie, "it's Christmas Eve."

-61-

They all grew silent. He wasn't coming.
They looked down the darkness of the
railway. There was London! It seemed the
utter-most of distance. They thought
anything might happen if one came from
London. They were all too troubled to talk.
Cold, and unhappy, and silent, they huddled
together on the platform.

At last, after more than two hours, they saw
the lights of an engine peering round, away
down the darkness. A porter ran out. The
children drew back with beating hearts. A
great train, bound for Manchester, drew up.
Two doors opened, and from one of them,
William. They flew to him. He handed
parcels to them cheerily, and immediately
began to explain that this great train had
stopped for HIS sake at such a small station
as Sethley Bridge: it was not booked to
stop.

Meanwhile the parents were getting
anxious. The table was set, the chop was
cooked, everything was ready. Mrs. Morel
put on her black apron. She was wearing
her best dress. Then she sat, pretending to
read. The minutes were a torture to her.

"H'm!" said Morel. "It's an hour an' a ha'ef."

"And those children waiting!" she said.

"Th' train canna ha' come in yet," he said.

"I tell you, on Christmas Eve they're HOURS
wrong."

They were both a bit cross with each other,
so gnawed with anxiety. The ash tree
moaned outside in a cold, raw wind. And all
that space of night from London home! Mrs.
Morel suffered. The slight click of the works
inside the clock irritated her. It was getting
so late; it was getting unbearable.

At last there was a sound of voices, and a
footstep in the entry.

"Ha's here!" cried Morel, jumping up.

Then he stood back. The mother ran a few
steps towards the door and waited. There
was a rush and a patter of feet, the door
burst open. William was there. He dropped
his Gladstone bag and took his mother in
his arms.

"Mater!" he said.

"My boy!" she cried.

And for two seconds, no longer, she
clasped him and kissed him. Then she
withdrew and said, trying to be quite
normal:

"But how late you are!"

"Aren't I!" he cried, turning to his father.
"Well, dad!"

The two men shook hands.

"Well, my lad!"

Morel's eyes were wet.

"We thought tha'd niver be commin'," he
said.

"Oh, I'd come!" exclaimed William.

Then the son turned round to his mother.

"But you look well," she said proudly,
laughing.

"Well!" he exclaimed. "I should think
so—coming home!"

He was a fine fellow, big, straight, and

-62-

fearless-looking. He looked round at the
evergreens and the kissing bunch, and the
little tarts that lay in their tins on the hearth.

"By jove! mother, it's not different!" he said,
as if in relief.

Everybody was still for a second. Then he
suddenly sprang forward, picked a tart from
the hearth, and pushed it whole into his
mouth.

"Well, did iver you see such a parish oven!"
the father exclaimed.

He had brought them endless presents.
Every penny he had he had spent on them.
There was a sense of luxury overflowing in
the house. For his mother there was an
umbrella with gold on the pale handle. She
kept it to her dying day, and would have lost
anything rather than that. Everybody had
something gorgeous, and besides, there
were pounds of unknown sweets: Turkish
delight, crystallised pineapple, and such-
like things which, the children thought, only
the splendour of London could provide. And
Paul boasted of these sweets among his
friends.

"Real pineapple, cut off in slices, and then
turned into crystal—fair grand!"

Everybody was mad with happiness in the
family. Home was home, and they loved it
with a passion of love, whatever the
suffering had been. There were parties,
there were rejoicings. People came in to
see William, to see what difference London
had made to him. And they all found him
"such a gentleman, and SUCH a fine fellow,
my word"!

When he went away again the children
retired to various places to weep alone.
Morel went to bed in misery, and Mrs. Morel

felt as if she were numbed by some drug,
as if her feelings were paralysed. She loved
him passionately.

He was in the office of a lawyer connected
with a large shipping firm, and at the
midsummer his chief offered him a trip in
the Mediterranean on one of the boats, for
quite a small cost. Mrs. Morel wrote: "Go,
go, my boy. You may never have a chance
again, and I should love to think of you
cruising there in the Mediterranean almost
better than to have you at home." But William
came home for his fortnight's holiday. Not
even the Mediterranean, which pulled at all
his young man's desire to travel, and at his
poor man's wonder at the glamorous south,
could take him away when he might come
home. That compensated his mother for
much.

Chapter 5: PAUL LAUNCHES INTO LIFE

MOREL was rather a heedless man,
careless of danger. So he had endless
accidents. Now, when Mrs. Morel heard the
rattle of an empty coal-cart cease at her
entry-end, she ran into the parlour to look,
expecting almost to see her husband
seated in the waggon, his face grey under
his dirt, his body limp and sick with some
hurt or other. If it were he, she would run out
to help.

About a year after William went to London,
and just after Paul had left school, before
he got work, Mrs. Morel was upstairs and
her son was painting in the kitchen—he was
very clever with his brush—when there came
a knock at the door. Crossly he put down his
brush to go. At the same moment his mother
opened a window upstairs and looked
down.

A pit-lad in his dirt stood on the threshold.

-63-

"Is this Walter Morel's?" he asked.

"Yes," said Mrs. Morel. "What is it?"

But she had guessed already.

"Your mester's got hurt," he said.

"Eh, dear me!" she exclaimed. "It's a
wonder if he hadn't, lad. And what's he
done this time?"

"I don't know for sure, but it's 'is leg
somewhere. They ta'ein' 'im ter th'
'ospital."

"Good gracious me!" she exclaimed. "Eh,
dear, what a one he is! There's not five
minutes of peace, I'll be hanged if there is!
His thumb's nearly better, and now— Did you
see him?"

"I seed him at th' bottom. An' I seed 'em
bring 'im up in a tub, an' 'e wor in a dead
faint. But he shouted like anythink when
Doctor Fraser examined him i' th' lamp
cabin—an' cossed an' swore, an' said as 'e
wor goin' to be ta'en whoam—'e worn't goin'
ter th' 'ospital."

The boy faltered to an end.

"He WOULD want to come home, so that I
can have all the bother. Thank you, my lad.
Eh, dear, if I'm not sick—sick and surfeited, I
am!"

She came downstairs. Paul had
mechanically resumed his painting.

"And it must be pretty bad if they've taken
him to the hospital," she went on. "But what
a CARELESS creature he is! OTHER men
don't have all these accidents. Yes, he
WOULD want to put all the burden on me.
Eh, dear, just as we WERE getting easy a

bit at last. Put those things away, there's no
time to be painting now. What time is there a
train? I know I s'll have to go trailing to
Keston. I s'll have to leave that bedroom."

"I can finish it," said Paul.

"You needn't. I shall catch the seven o'clock
back, I should think. Oh, my blessed heart,
the fuss and commotion he'll make! And
those granite setts at Tinder Hill—he might
well call them kidney pebbles—they'll jolt him
almost to bits. I wonder why they can't mend
them, the state they're in, an' all the men as
go across in that ambulance. You'd think
they'd have a hospital here. The men bought
the ground, and, my sirs, there'd be
accidents enough to keep it going. But no,
they must trail them ten miles in a slow
ambulance to Nottingham. It's a crying
shame! Oh, and the fuss he'll make! I know
he will! I wonder who's with him. Barker, I
s'd think. Poor beggar, he'll wish himself
anywhere rather. But he'll look after him, I
know. Now there's no telling how long he'll
be stuck in that hospital—and WON'T he hate
it! But if it's only his leg it's not so bad."

All the time she was getting ready. Hurriedly
taking off her bodice, she crouched at the
boiler while the water ran slowly into her
lading-can.

"I wish this boiler was at the bottom of the
sea!" she exclaimed, wriggling the handle
impatiently. She had very handsome, strong
arms, rather surprising on a smallish
woman.

Paul cleared away, put on the kettle, and set
the table.

"There isn't a train till four-twenty," he said.
"You've time enough."

"Oh no, I haven't!" she cried, blinking at him

-64-

over the towel as she wiped her face.

"Yes, you have. You must drink a cup of tea
at any rate. Should I come with you to
Keston?"

"Come with me? What for, I should like to
know? Now, what have I to take him? Eh,
dear! His clean shirt—and it's a blessing it IS
clean. But it had better be aired. And
stockings—he won't want them—and a towel, I
suppose; and handkerchiefs. Now what
else?"

"A comb, a knife and fork and spoon," said
Paul. His father had been in the hospital
before.

"Goodness knows what sort of state his feet
were in," continued Mrs. Morel, as she
combed her long brown hair, that was fine
as silk, and was touched now with grey.
"He's very particular to wash himself to the
waist, but below he thinks doesn't matter.
But there, I suppose they see plenty like it."

Paul had laid the table. He cut his mother
one or two pieces of very thin bread and
butter.

"Here you are," he said, putting her cup of
tea in her place.

"I can't be bothered!" she exclaimed
crossly.

"Well, you've got to, so there, now it's put out
ready," he insisted.

So she sat down and sipped her tea, and
ate a little, in silence. She was thinking.

In a few minutes she was gone, to walk the
two and a half miles to Keston Station. All
the things she was taking him she had in her
bulging string bag. Paul watched her go up

the road between the hedges—a little, quick-
stepping figure, and his heart ached for her,
that she was thrust forward again into pain
and trouble. And she, tripping so quickly in
her anxiety, felt at the back of her her son's
heart waiting on her, felt him bearing what
part of the burden he could, even supporting
her. And when she was at the hospital, she
thought: "It WILL upset that lad when I tell him
how bad it is. I'd better be careful." And
when she was trudging home again, she felt
he was coming to share her burden.

"Is it bad?" asked Paul, as soon as she
entered the house.

"It's bad enough," she replied.

"What?"

She sighed and sat down, undoing her
bonnet-strings. Her son watched her face
as it was lifted, and her small, work-
hardened hands fingering at the bow under
her chin.

"Well," she answered, "it's not really
dangerous, but the nurse says it's a
dreadful smash. You see, a great piece of
rock fell on his leg—here—and it's a
compound fracture. There are pieces of
bone sticking through—-"

"Ugh—how horrid!" exclaimed the children.

"And," she continued, "of course he says
he's going to die—it wouldn't be him if he
didn't. 'I'm done for, my lass!' he said,
looking at me. 'Don't be so silly,' I said to
him. 'You're not going to die of a broken
leg, however badly it's smashed.' 'I s'll niver
come out of 'ere but in a wooden box,' he
groaned. 'Well,' I said, 'if you want them to
carry you into the garden in a wooden box,
when you're better, I've no doubt they will.'
'If we think it's good for him,' said the

-65-

Sister. She's an awfully nice Sister, but
rather strict."

Mrs. Morel took off her bonnet. The children
waited in silence.

"Of course, he IS bad," she continued, "and
he will be. It's a great shock, and he's lost a
lot of blood; and, of course, it IS a very
dangerous smash. It's not at all sure that it
will mend so easily. And then there's the
fever and the mortification—if it took bad
ways he'd quickly be gone. But there, he's a
clean-blooded man, with wonderful healing
flesh, and so I see no reason why it
SHOULD take bad ways. Of course there's
a wound—-"

She was pale now with emotion and
anxiety. The three children realised that it
was very bad for their father, and the house
was silent, anxious.

"But he always gets better," said Paul after
a while.

"That's what I tell him," said the mother.

Everybody moved about in silence.

"And he really looked nearly done for," she
said. "But the Sister says that is the pain."

Annie took away her mother's coat and
bonnet.

"And he looked at me when I came away! I
said: 'I s'll have to go now, Walter, because
of the train—and the children.' And he looked
at me. It seems hard."

Paul took up his brush again and went on
painting. Arthur went outside for some coal.
Annie sat looking dismal. And Mrs. Morel, in
her little rocking-chair that her husband had
made for her when the first baby was

coming, remained motionless, brooding.
She was grieved, and bitterly sorry for the
man who was hurt so much. But still, in her
heart of hearts, where the love should have
burned, there was a blank. Now, when all
her woman's pity was roused to its full
extent, when she would have slaved herself
to death to nurse him and to save him, when
she would have taken the pain herself, if
she could, somewhere far away inside her,
she felt indifferent to him and to his
suffering. It hurt her most of all, this failure to
love him, even when he roused her strong
emotions. She brooded a while.

"And there," she said suddenly, "when I'd
got halfway to Keston, I found I'd come out
in my working boots—and LOOK at them."
They were an old pair of Paul's, brown and
rubbed through at the toes. "I didn't know
what to do with myself, for shame," she
added.

In the morning, when Annie and Arthur were
at school, Mrs. Morel talked again to her
son, who was helping her with her
housework.

"I found Barker at the hospital. He did look
bad, poor little fellow! 'Well,' I said to him,
'what sort of a journey did you have with
him?' 'Dunna ax me, missis!' he said. 'Ay,'
I said, 'I know what he'd be.' 'But it WOR
bad for him, Mrs. Morel, it WOR that!' he
said. 'I know,' I said. 'At ivry jolt I thought my
'eart would ha' flown clean out o' my
mouth,' he said. 'An' the scream 'e gives
sometimes! Missis, not for a fortune would I
go through wi' it again.' 'I can quite
understand it,' I said. 'It's a nasty job,
though,' he said, 'an' one as'll be a long
while afore it's right again.' 'I'm afraid it
will,' I said. I like Mr. Barker—I DO like him.
There's something so manly about him."

Paul resumed his task silently.

-66-

"And of course," Mrs. Morel continued, "for
a man like your father, the hospital IS hard.
He CAN'T understand rules and
regulations. And he won't let anybody else
touch him, not if he can help it. When he
smashed the muscles of his thigh, and it
had to be dressed four times a day, WOULD
he let anybody but me or his mother do it?
He wouldn't. So, of course, he'll suffer in
there with the nurses. And I didn't like
leaving him. I'm sure, when I kissed him an'
came away, it seemed a shame."

So she talked to her son, almost as if she
were thinking aloud to him, and he took it in
as best he could, by sharing her trouble to
lighten it. And in the end she shared almost
everything with him without knowing.

Morel had a very bad time. For a week he
was in a critical condition. Then he began to
mend. And then, knowing he was going to
get better, the whole family sighed with
relief, and proceeded to live happily.

They were not badly off whilst Morel was in
the hospital. There were fourteen shillings a
week from the pit, ten shillings from the sick
club, and five shillings from the Disability
Fund; and then every week the butties had
something for Mrs. Morel—five or seven
shillings—so that she was quite well to do.
And whilst Morel was progressing
favourably in the hospital, the family was
extraordinarily happy and peaceful. On
Saturdays and Wednesdays Mrs. Morel
went to Nottingham to see her husband.
Then she always brought back some little
thing: a small tube of paints for Paul, or
some thick paper; a couple of postcards for
Annie, that the whole family rejoiced over
for days before the girl was allowed to send
them away; or a fret-saw for Arthur, or a bit
of pretty wood. She described her
adventures into the big shops with joy.
Soon the folk in the picture-shop knew her,

and knew about Paul. The girl in the book-
shop took a keen interest in her. Mrs. Morel
was full of information when she got home
from Nottingham. The three sat round till
bed-time, listening, putting in, arguing.
Then Paul often raked the fire.

"I'm the man in the house now," he used to
say to his mother with joy. They learned how
perfectly peaceful the home could be. And
they almost regretted—though none of them
would have owned to such callousness—that
their father was soon coming back.

Paul was now fourteen, and was looking for
work. He was a rather small and rather
finely-made boy, with dark brown hair and
light blue eyes. His face had already lost its
youthful chubbiness, and was becoming
somewhat like William's—rough-featured,
almost rugged—and it was extraordinarily
mobile. Usually he looked as if he saw
things, was full of life, and warm; then his
smile, like his mother's, came suddenly and
was very lovable; and then, when there was
any clog in his soul's quick running, his face
went stupid and ugly. He was the sort of boy
that becomes a clown and a lout as soon as
he is not understood, or feels himself held
cheap; and, again, is adorable at the first
touch of warmth.

He suffered very much from the first contact
with anything. When he was seven, the
starting school had been a nightmare and a
torture to him. But afterwards he liked it.
And now that he felt he had to go out into
life, he went through agonies of shrinking
self-consciousness. He was quite a clever
painter for a boy of his years, and he knew
some French and German and
mathematics that Mr. Heaton had taught
him. But nothing he had was of any
commercial value. He was not strong
enough for heavy manual work, his mother
said. He did not care for making things with

-67-

his hands, preferred racing about, or
making excursions into the country, or
reading, or painting.

"What do you want to be?" his mother asked.

"Anything."

"That is no answer," said Mrs. Morel.

But it was quite truthfully the only answer he
could give. His ambition, as far as this
world's gear went, was quietly to earn his
thirty or thirty-five shillings a week
somewhere near home, and then, when his
father died, have a cottage with his mother,
paint and go out as he liked, and live happy
ever after. That was his programme as far
as doing things went. But he was proud
within himself, measuring people against
himself, and placing them, inexorably. And
he thought that PERHAPS he might also
make a painter, the real thing. But that he
left alone.

"Then," said his mother, "you must look in
the paper for the advertisements."

He looked at her. It seemed to him a bitter
humiliation and an anguish to go through.
But he said nothing. When he got up in the
morning, his whole being was knotted up
over this one thought:

"I've got to go and look for advertisements
for a job."

It stood in front of the morning, that thought,
killing all joy and even life, for him. His heart
felt like a tight knot.

And then, at ten o'clock, he set off. He was
supposed to be a queer, quiet child. Going
up the sunny street of the little town, he felt
as if all the folk he met said to themselves:
"He's going to the Co-op. reading-room to

look in the papers for a place. He can't get a
job. I suppose he's living on his mother."
Then he crept up the stone stairs behind the
drapery shop at the Co-op., and peeped in
the reading-room. Usually one or two men
were there, either old, useless fellows, or
colliers "on the club". So he entered, full of
shrinking and suffering when they looked
up, seated himself at the table, and
pretended to scan the news. He knew they
would think: "What does a lad of thirteen
want in a reading-room with a
newspaper?" and he suffered.

Then he looked wistfully out of the window.
Already he was a prisoner of industrialism.
Large sunflowers stared over the old red
wall of the garden opposite, looking in their
jolly way down on the women who were
hurrying with something for dinner. The
valley was full of corn, brightening in the sun.
Two collieries, among the fields, waved
their small white plumes of steam. Far off
on the hills were the woods of Annesley,
dark and fascinating. Already his heart went
down. He was being taken into bondage.
His freedom in the beloved home valley was
going now.

The brewers' waggons came rolling up
from Keston with enormous barrels, four a
side, like beans in a burst bean-pod. The
waggoner, throned aloft, rolling massively
in his seat, was not so much below Paul's
eye. The man's hair, on his small, bullet
head, was bleached almost white by the
sun, and on his thick red arms, rocking idly
on his sack apron, the white hairs glistened.
His red face shone and was almost asleep
with sunshine. The horses, handsome and
brown, went on by themselves, looking by
far the masters of the show.

Paul wished he were stupid. "I wish," he
thought to himself, "I was fat like him, and
like a dog in the sun. I wish I was a pig and a

-68-

brewer's waggoner."

Then, the room being at last empty, he
would hastily copy an advertisement on a
scrap of paper, then another, and slip out in
immense relief. His mother would scan over
his copies.

"Yes," she said, "you may try."

William had written out a letter of
application, couched in admirable business
language, which Paul copied, with
variations. The boy's handwriting was
execrable, so that William, who did all things
well, got into a fever of impatience.

The elder brother was becoming quite
swanky. In London he found that he could
associate with men far above his Bestwood
friends in station. Some of the clerks in the
office had studied for the law, and were
more or less going through a kind of
apprenticeship. William always made
friends among men wherever he went, he
was so jolly. Therefore he was soon visiting
and staying in houses of men who, in
Bestwood, would have looked down on the
unapproachable bank manager, and would
merely have called indifferently on the
Rector. So he began to fancy himself as a
great gun. He was, indeed, rather surprised
at the ease with which he became a
gentleman.

His mother was glad, he seemed so
pleased. And his lodging in Walthamstow
was so dreary. But now there seemed to
come a kind of fever into the young man's
letters. He was unsettled by all the change,
he did not stand firm on his own feet, but
seemed to spin rather giddily on the quick
current of the new life. His mother was
anxious for him. She could feel him losing
himself. He had danced and gone to the
theatre, boated on the river, been out with

friends; and she knew he sat up afterwards
in his cold bedroom grinding away at Latin,
because he intended to get on in his office,
and in the law as much as he could. He
never sent his mother any money now. It
was all taken, the little he had, for his own
life. And she did not want any, except
sometimes, when she was in a tight corner,
and when ten shillings would have saved
her much worry. She still dreamed of
William, and of what he would do, with
herself behind him. Never for a minute
would she admit to herself how heavy and
anxious her heart was because of him.

Also he talked a good deal now of a girl he
had met at a dance, a handsome brunette,
quite young, and a lady, after whom the men
were running thick and fast.

"I wonder if you would run, my boy," his
mother wrote to him, "unless you saw all the
other men chasing her too. You feel safe
enough and vain enough in a crowd. But
take care, and see how you feel when you
find yourself alone, and in triumph." William
resented these things, and continued the
chase. He had taken the girl on the river. "If
you saw her, mother, you would know how I
feel. Tall and elegant, with the clearest of
clear, transparent olive complexions, hair
as black as jet, and such grey eyes—bright,
mocking, like lights on water at night. It is all
very well to be a bit satirical till you see her.
And she dresses as well as any woman in
London. I tell you, your son doesn't half put
his head up when she goes walking down
Piccadilly with him."

Mrs. Morel wondered, in her heart, if her
son did not go walking down Piccadilly with
an elegant figure and fine clothes, rather
than with a woman who was near to him.
But she congratulated him in her doubtful
fashion. And, as she stood over the
washing-tub, the mother brooded over her

-69-

son. She saw him saddled with an elegant
and expensive wife, earning little money,
dragging along and getting draggled in
some small, ugly house in a suburb. "But
there," she told herself, "I am very likely a
silly—meeting trouble halfway."
Nevertheless, the load of anxiety scarcely
ever left her heart, lest William should do the
wrong thing by himself.

Presently, Paul was bidden call upon
Thomas Jordan, Manufacturer of Surgical
Appliances, at 21, Spaniel Row,
Nottingham. Mrs. Morel was all joy.

"There, you see!" she cried, her eyes
shining. "You've only written four letters, and
the third is answered. You're lucky, my boy,
as I always said you were."

Paul looked at the picture of a wooden leg,
adorned with elastic stockings and other
appliances, that figured on Mr. Jordan's
notepaper, and he felt alarmed. He had not
known that elastic stockings existed. And
he seemed to feel the business world, with
its regulated system of values, and its
impersonality, and he dreaded it. It seemed
monstrous also that a business could be run
on wooden legs.

Mother and son set off together one
Tuesday morning. It was August and blazing
hot. Paul walked with something screwed
up tight inside him. He would have suffered
much physical pain rather than this
unreasonable suffering at being exposed to
strangers, to be accepted or rejected. Yet
he chattered away with his mother. He
would never have confessed to her how he
suffered over these things, and she only
partly guessed. She was gay, like a
sweetheart. She stood in front of the ticket-
office at Bestwood, and Paul watched her
take from her purse the money for the
tickets. As he saw her hands in their old

black kid gloves getting the silver out of the
worn purse, his heart contracted with pain
of love of her.

She was quite excited, and quite gay. He
suffered because she WOULD talk aloud in
presence of the other travellers.

"Now look at that silly cow!" she said,
"careering round as if it thought it was a
circus."

"It's most likely a bottfly," he said very low.

"A what?" she asked brightly and
unashamed.

They thought a while. He was sensible all
the time of having her opposite him.
Suddenly their eyes met, and she smiled to
him—a rare, intimate smile, beautiful with
brightness and love. Then each looked out
of the window.

The sixteen slow miles of railway journey
passed. The mother and son walked down
Station Street, feeling the excitement of
lovers having an adventure together. In
Carrington Street they stopped to hang over
the parapet and look at the barges on the
canal below.

"It's just like Venice," he said, seeing the
sunshine on the water that lay between high
factory walls.

"Perhaps," she answered, smiling.

They enjoyed the shops immensely.

"Now you see that blouse," she would say,
"wouldn't that just suit our Annie? And for
one-and-eleven-three. Isn't that cheap?"

"And made of needlework as well," he said.

-70-

"Yes."

They had plenty of time, so they did not
hurry. The town was strange and delightful
to them. But the boy was tied up inside in a
knot of apprehension. He dreaded the
interview with Thomas Jordan.

It was nearly eleven o'clock by St. Peter's
Church. They turned up a narrow street that
led to the Castle. It was gloomy and old-
fashioned, having low dark shops and dark
green house doors with brass knockers,
and yellow-ochred doorsteps projecting on
to the pavement; then another old shop
whose small window looked like a cunning,
half-shut eye. Mother and son went
cautiously, looking everywhere for "Thomas
Jordan and Son". It was like hunting in some
wild place. They were on tiptoe of
excitement.

Suddenly they spied a big, dark archway, in
which were names of various firms,
Thomas Jordan among them.

"Here it is!" said Mrs. Morel. "But now
WHERE is it?"

They looked round. On one side was a
queer, dark, cardboard factory, on the other
a Commercial Hotel.

"It's up the entry," said Paul.

And they ventured under the archway, as
into the jaws of the dragon. They emerged
into a wide yard, like a well, with buildings
all round. It was littered with straw and
boxes, and cardboard. The sunshine
actually caught one crate whose straw was
streaming on to the yard like gold. But
elsewhere the place was like a pit. There
were several doors, and two flights of
steps. Straight in front, on a dirty glass door
at the top of a staircase, loomed the

ominous words "Thomas Jordan and
Son—Surgical Appliances." Mrs. Morel went
first, her son followed her. Charles I
mounted his scaffold with a lighter heart
than had Paul Morel as he followed his
mother up the dirty steps to the dirty door.

She pushed open the door, and stood in
pleased surprise. In front of her was a big
warehouse, with creamy paper parcels
everywhere, and clerks, with their shirt-
sleeves rolled back, were going about in an
at-home sort of way. The light was
subdued, the glossy cream parcels seemed
luminous, the counters were of dark brown
wood. All was quiet and very homely. Mrs.
Morel took two steps forward, then waited.
Paul stood behind her. She had on her
Sunday bonnet and a black veil; he wore a
boy's broad white collar and a Norfolk suit.

One of the clerks looked up. He was thin
and tall, with a small face. His way of
looking was alert. Then he glanced round to
the other end of the room, where was a
glass office. And then he came forward. He
did not say anything, but leaned in a gentle,
inquiring fashion towards Mrs. Morel.

"Can I see Mr. Jordan?" she asked.

"I'll fetch him," answered the young man.

He went down to the glass office. A red-
faced, white-whiskered old man looked up.
He reminded Paul of a pomeranian dog.
Then the same little man came up the room.
He had short legs, was rather stout, and
wore an alpaca jacket. So, with one ear up,
as it were, he came stoutly and inquiringly
down the room.

"Good-morning!" he said, hesitating before
Mrs. Morel, in doubt as to whether she were
a customer or not.

-71-

"Good-morning. I came with my son, Paul
Morel. You asked him to call this morning."

"Come this way," said Mr. Jordan, in a
rather snappy little manner intended to be
businesslike.

They followed the manufacturer into a
grubby little room, upholstered in black
American leather, glossy with the rubbing of
many customers. On the table was a pile of
trusses, yellow wash-leather hoops tangled
together. They looked new and living. Paul
sniffed the odour of new wash-leather. He
wondered what the things were. By this time
he was so much stunned that he only
noticed the outside things.

"Sit down!" said Mr. Jordan, irritably
pointing Mrs. Morel to a horse-hair chair.
She sat on the edge in an uncertain fashion.
Then the little old man fidgeted and found a
paper.

"Did you write this letter?" he snapped,
thrusting what Paul recognised as his own
notepaper in front of him.

"Yes," he answered.

At that moment he was occupied in two
ways: first, in feeling guilty for telling a lie,
since William had composed the letter;
second, in wondering why his letter seemed
so strange and different, in the fat, red hand
of the man, from what it had been when it
lay on the kitchen table. It was like part of
himself, gone astray. He resented the way
the man held it.

"Where did you learn to write?" said the old
man crossly.

Paul merely looked at him shamedly, and
did not answer.

"He IS a bad writer," put in Mrs. Morel
apologetically. Then she pushed up her veil.
Paul hated her for not being prouder with
this common little man, and he loved her
face clear of the veil.

"And you say you know French?" inquired
the little man, still sharply.

"Yes," said Paul.

"What school did you go to?"

"The Board-school."

"And did you learn it there?"

"No—I—-" The boy went crimson and got no
farther.

"His godfather gave him lessons," said Mrs.
Morel, half pleading and rather distant.

Mr. Jordan hesitated. Then, in his irritable
manner—he always seemed to keep his
hands ready for action—he pulled another
sheet of paper from his pocket, unfolded it.
The paper made a crackling noise. He
handed it to Paul.

"Read that," he said.

It was a note in French, in thin, flimsy foreign
handwriting that the boy could not decipher.
He stared blankly at the paper.

"'Monsieur,'" he began; then he looked in
great confusion at Mr. Jordan. "It's the—it's
the—-"

He wanted to say "handwriting", but his wits
would no longer work even sufficiently to
supply him with the word. Feeling an utter
fool, and hating Mr. Jordan, he turned
desperately to the paper again.

-72-

"'Sir,—Please send me'—er—er—I can't tell
the—er—'two pairs—gris fil bas—grey thread
stockings'—er—er—'sans—without'—er—I can't tell
the words—er—'doigts—fingers'—er—I can't tell
the—-"

He wanted to say "handwriting", but the
word still refused to come. Seeing him
stuck, Mr. Jordan snatched the paper from
him.

"'Please send by return two pairs grey
thread stockings without TOES.'"

"Well," flashed Paul, "'doigts' means
'fingers'—as well—as a rule—-"

The little man looked at him. He did not
know whether "doigts" meant "fingers"; he
knew that for all HIS purposes it meant
"toes".

"Fingers to stockings!" he snapped.

"Well, it DOES mean fingers," the boy
persisted.

He hated the little man, who made such a
clod of him. Mr. Jordan looked at the pale,
stupid, defiant boy, then at the mother, who
sat quiet and with that peculiar shut-off look
of the poor who have to depend on the
favour of others.

"And when could he come?" he asked.

"Well," said Mrs. Morel, "as soon as you
wish. He has finished school now."

"He would live in Bestwood?"

"Yes; but he could be in—at the station—at
quarter to eight."

"H'm!"

It ended by Paul's being engaged as junior
spiral clerk at eight shillings a week. The
boy did not open his mouth to say another
word, after having insisted that "doigts"
meant "fingers". He followed his mother
down the stairs. She looked at him with her
bright blue eyes full of love and joy.

"I think you'll like it," she said.

"'Doigts' does mean 'fingers', mother, and
it was the writing. I couldn't read the writing."

"Never mind, my boy. I'm sure he'll be all
right, and you won't see much of him.
Wasn't that first young fellow nice? I'm sure
you'll like them."

"But wasn't Mr. Jordan common, mother?
Does he own it all?"

"I suppose he was a workman who has got
on," she said. "You mustn't mind people so
much. They're not being disagreeable to
YOU—it's their way. You always think people
are meaning things for you. But they don't."

It was very sunny. Over the big desolate
space of the market-place the blue sky
shimmered, and the granite cobbles of the
paving glistened. Shops down the Long
Row were deep in obscurity, and the
shadow was full of colour. Just where the
horse trams trundled across the market was
a row of fruit stalls, with fruit blazing in the
sun—apples and piles of reddish oranges,
small green-gage plums and bananas.
There was a warm scent of fruit as mother
and son passed. Gradually his feeling of
ignominy and of rage sank.

"Where should we go for dinner?" asked the
mother.

It was felt to be a reckless extravagance.
Paul had only been in an eating-house once

-73-

or twice in his life, and then only to have a
cup of tea and a bun. Most of the people of
Bestwood considered that tea and bread-
and-butter, and perhaps potted beef, was
all they could afford to eat in Nottingham.
Real cooked dinner was considered great
extravagance. Paul felt rather guilty.

They found a place that looked quite cheap.
But when Mrs. Morel scanned the bill of
fare, her heart was heavy, things were so
dear. So she ordered kidney-pies and
potatoes as the cheapest available dish.

"We oughtn't to have come here, mother,"
said Paul.

"Never mind," she said. "We won't come
again."

She insisted on his having a small currant
tart, because he liked sweets.

"I don't want it, mother," he pleaded.

"Yes," she insisted; "you'll have it."

And she looked round for the waitress. But
the waitress was busy, and Mrs. Morel did
not like to bother her then. So the mother
and son waited for the girl's pleasure, whilst
she flirted among the men.

"Brazen hussy!" said Mrs. Morel to Paul.
"Look now, she's taking that man HIS
pudding, and he came long after us."

"It doesn't matter, mother," said Paul.

Mrs. Morel was angry. But she was too
poor, and her orders were too meagre, so
that she had not the courage to insist on her
rights just then. They waited and waited.

"Should we go, mother?" he said.

Then Mrs. Morel stood up. The girl was
passing near.

"Will you bring one currant tart?" said Mrs.
Morel clearly.

The girl looked round insolently.

"Directly," she said.

"We have waited quite long enough," said
Mrs. Morel.

In a moment the girl came back with the tart.
Mrs. Morel asked coldly for the bill. Paul
wanted to sink through the floor. He
marvelled at his mother's hardness. He
knew that only years of battling had taught
her to insist even so little on her rights. She
shrank as much as he.

"It's the last time I go THERE for anything!"
she declared, when they were outside the
place, thankful to be clear.

"We'll go," she said, "and look at Keep's
and Boot's, and one or two places, shall
we?"

They had discussions over the pictures, and
Mrs. Morel wanted to buy him a little sable
brush that be hankered after. But this
indulgence he refused. He stood in front of
milliners' shops and drapers' shops almost
bored, but content for her to be interested.
They wandered on.

"Now, just look at those black grapes!" she
said. "They make your mouth water. I've
wanted some of those for years, but I s'll
have to wait a bit before I get them."

Then she rejoiced in the florists, standing in
the doorway sniffing.

"Oh! oh! Isn't it simply lovely!"

-74-

Paul saw, in the darkness of the shop, an
elegant young lady in black peering over the
counter curiously.

"They're looking at you," he said, trying to
draw his mother away.

"But what is it?" she exclaimed, refusing to
be moved.

"Stocks!" he answered, sniffing hastily.
"Look, there's a tubful."

"So there is—red and white. But really, I never
knew stocks to smell like it!" And, to his
great relief, she moved out of the doorway,
but only to stand in front of the window.

"Paul!" she cried to him, who was trying to
get out of sight of the elegant young lady in
black—the shop-girl. "Paul! Just look here!"

He came reluctantly back.

"Now, just look at that fuchsia!" she
exclaimed, pointing.

"H'm!" He made a curious, interested
sound. "You'd think every second as the
flowers was going to fall off, they hang so
big an' heavy."

"And such an abundance!" she cried.

"And the way they drop downwards with
their threads and knots!"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Lovely!"

"I wonder who'll buy it!" he said.

"I wonder!" she answered. "Not us."

"It would die in our parlour."

"Yes, beastly cold, sunless hole; it kills every

bit of a plant you put in, and the kitchen
chokes them to death."

They bought a few things, and set off
towards the station. Looking up the canal,
through the dark pass of the buildings, they
saw the Castle on its bluff of brown, green-
bushed rock, in a positive miracle of
delicate sunshine.

"Won't it be nice for me to come out at
dinner-times?" said Paul. "I can go all round
here and see everything. I s'll love it."

"You will," assented his mother.

He had spent a perfect afternoon with his
mother. They arrived home in the mellow
evening, happy, and glowing, and tired.

In the morning he filled in the form for his
season-ticket and took it to the station.
When he got back, his mother was just
beginning to wash the floor. He sat
crouched up on the sofa.

"He says it'll be here on Saturday," he said.

"And how much will it be?"

"About one pound eleven," he said.

She went on washing her floor in silence.

"Is it a lot?" he asked.

"It's no more than I thought," she answered.

"An' I s'll earn eight shillings a week," he
said.

She did not answer, but went on with her
work. At last she said:

"That William promised me, when he went to
London, as he'd give me a pound a month.

-75-

He has given me ten shillings—twice; and
now I know he hasn't a farthing if I asked
him. Not that I want it. Only just now you'd
think he might be able to help with this
ticket, which I'd never expected."

"He earns a lot," said Paul.

"He earns a hundred and thirty pounds. But
they're all alike. They're large in promises,
but it's precious little fulfilment you get."

"He spends over fifty shillings a week on
himself," said Paul.

"And I keep this house on less than thirty,"
she replied; "and am supposed to find
money for extras. But they don't care about
helping you, once they've gone. He'd rather
spend it on that dressed-up creature."

"She should have her own money if she's so
grand," said Paul.

"She should, but she hasn't. I asked him.
And I know he doesn't buy her a gold bangle
for nothing. I wonder whoever bought ME a
gold bangle."

William was succeeding with his "Gipsy", as
he called her. He asked the girl—her name
was Louisa Lily Denys Western—for a
photograph to send to his mother. The photo
came—a handsome brunette, taken in
profile, smirking slightly—and, it might be,
quite naked, for on the photograph not a
scrap of clothing was to be seen, only a
naked bust.

"Yes," wrote Mrs. Morel to her son, "the
photograph of Louie is very striking, and I
can see she must be attractive. But do you
think, my boy, it was very good taste of a girl
to give her young man that photo to send to
his mother—the first? Certainly the shoulders
are beautiful, as you say. But I hardly

expected to see so much of them at the first
view."

Morel found the photograph standing on the
chiffonier in the parlour. He came out with it
between his thick thumb and finger.

"Who dost reckon this is?" he asked of his
wife.

"It's the girl our William is going with," replied
Mrs. Morel.

"H'm! 'Er's a bright spark, from th' look on
'er, an' one as wunna do him owermuch
good neither. Who is she?"

"Her name is Louisa Lily Denys Western."

"An' come again to-morrer!" exclaimed the
miner. "An' is 'er an actress?"

"She is not. She's supposed to be a lady."

"I'll bet!" he exclaimed, still staring at the
photo. "A lady, is she? An' how much does
she reckon ter keep up this sort o' game
on?"

"On nothing. She lives with an old aunt,
whom she hates, and takes what bit of
money's given her."

"H'm!" said Morel, laying down the
photograph. "Then he's a fool to ha' ta'en
up wi' such a one as that."

"Dear Mater," William replied. "I'm sorry you
didn't like the photograph. It never occurred
to me when I sent it, that you mightn't think it
decent. However, I told Gyp that it didn't
quite suit your prim and proper notions, so
she's going to send you another, that I hope
will please you better. She's always being
photographed; in fact, the photographers
ask her if they may take her for nothing."

-76-

Presently the new photograph came, with a
little silly note from the girl. This time the
young lady was seen in a black satin
evening bodice, cut square, with little puff
sleeves, and black lace hanging down her
beautiful arms.

"I wonder if she ever wears anything except
evening clothes," said Mrs. Morel
sarcastically. "I'm sure I ought to be
impressed."

"You are disagreeable, mother," said Paul.
"I think the first one with bare shoulders is
lovely."

"Do you?" answered his mother. "Well, I
don't."

On the Monday morning the boy got up at six
to start work. He had the season-ticket,
which had cost such bitterness, in his
waistcoat pocket. He loved it with its bars of
yellow across. His mother packed his
dinner in a small, shut-up basket, and he
set off at a quarter to seven to catch the 7.15
train. Mrs. Morel came to the entry-end to
see him off.

It was a perfect morning. From the ash tree
the slender green fruits that the children call
"pigeons" were twinkling gaily down on a
little breeze, into the front gardens of the
houses. The valley was full of a lustrous dark
haze, through which the ripe corn
shimmered, and in which the steam from
Minton pit melted swiftly. Puffs of wind
came. Paul looked over the high woods of
Aldersley, where the country gleamed, and
home had never pulled at him so powerfully.

"Good-morning, mother," he said, smiling,
but feeling very unhappy.

"Good-morning," she replied cheerfully and
tenderly.

She stood in her white apron on the open
road, watching him as he crossed the field.
He had a small, compact body that looked
full of life. She felt, as she saw him trudging
over the field, that where he determined to
go he would get. She thought of William. He
would have leaped the fence instead of
going round the stile. He was away in
London, doing well. Paul would be working
in Nottingham. Now she had two sons in the
world. She could think of two places, great
centres of industry, and feel that she had put
a man into each of them, that these men
would work out what SHE wanted; they
were derived from her, they were of her,
and their works also would be hers. All the
morning long she thought of Paul.

At eight o'clock he climbed the dismal stairs
of Jordan's Surgical Appliance Factory,
and stood helplessly against the first great
parcel-rack, waiting for somebody to pick
him up. The place was still not awake. Over
the counters were great dust sheets. Two
men only had arrived, and were heard
talking in a corner, as they took off their
coats and rolled up their shirt-sleeves. It
was ten past eight. Evidently there was no
rush of punctuality. Paul listened to the
voices of the two clerks. Then he heard
someone cough, and saw in the office at
the end of the room an old, decaying clerk,
in a round smoking-cap of black velvet
embroidered with red and green, opening
letters. He waited and waited. One of the
junior clerks went to the old man, greeted
him cheerily and loudly. Evidently the old
"chief" was deaf. Then the young fellow
came striding importantly down to his
counter. He spied Paul.

"Hello!" he said. "You the new lad?"

"Yes," said Paul.

"H'm! What's your name?"

-77-

"Paul Morel."

"Paul Morel? All right, you come on round
here."

Paul followed him round the rectangle of
counters. The room was second storey. It
had a great hole in the middle of the floor,
fenced as with a wall of counters, and down
this wide shaft the lifts went, and the light for
the bottom storey. Also there was a
corresponding big, oblong hole in the
ceiling, and one could see above, over the
fence of the top floor, some machinery; and
right away overhead was the glass roof,
and all light for the three storeys came
downwards, getting dimmer, so that it was
always night on the ground floor and rather
gloomy on the second floor. The factory was
the top floor, the warehouse the second, the
storehouse the ground floor. It was an
insanitary, ancient place.

Paul was led round to a very dark corner.

"This is the 'Spiral' corner," said the clerk.
"You're Spiral, with Pappleworth. He's your
boss, but he's not come yet. He doesn't get
here till half-past eight. So you can fetch the
letters, if you like, from Mr. Melling down
there."

The young man pointed to the old clerk in the
office.

"All right," said Paul.

"Here's a peg to hang your cap on. Here are
your entry ledgers. Mr. Pappleworth won't
be long."

And the thin young man stalked away with
long, busy strides over the hollow wooden
floor.

After a minute or two Paul went down and

stood in the door of the glass office. The old
clerk in the smoking-cap looked down over
the rim of his spectacles.

"Good-morning," he said, kindly and
impressively. "You want the letters for the
Spiral department, Thomas?"

Paul resented being called "Thomas". But
he took the letters and returned to his dark
place, where the counter made an angle,
where the great parcel-rack came to an
end, and where there were three doors in
the corner. He sat on a high stool and read
the letters—those whose handwriting was not
too difficult. They ran as follows:

"Will you please send me at once a pair of
lady's silk spiral thigh-hose, without feet,
such as I had from you last year; length,
thigh to knee, etc." Or, "Major Chamberlain
wishes to repeat his previous order for a
silk non-elastic suspensory bandage."

Many of these letters, some of them in
French or Norwegian, were a great puzzle
to the boy. He sat on his stool nervously
awaiting the arrival of his "boss". He
suffered tortures of shyness when, at half-
past eight, the factory girls for upstairs
trooped past him.

Mr. Pappleworth arrived, chewing a
chlorodyne gum, at about twenty to nine,
when all the other men were at work. He
was a thin, sallow man with a red nose,
quick, staccato, and smartly but stiffly
dressed. He was about thirty-six years old.
There was something rather "doggy", rather
smart, rather 'cute and shrewd, and
something warm, and something slightly
contemptible about him.

"You my new lad?" he said.

Paul stood up and said he was.

-78-

"Fetched the letters?"

Mr. Pappleworth gave a chew to his gum.

"Yes."

"Copied 'em?"

"No."

"Well, come on then, let's look slippy.
Changed your coat?"

"No."

"You want to bring an old coat and leave it
here." He pronounced the last words with
the chlorodyne gum between his side teeth.
He vanished into the darkness behind the
great parcel-rack, reappeared coatless,
turning up a smart striped shirt-cuff over a
thin and hairy arm. Then he slipped into his
coat. Paul noticed how thin he was, and that
his trousers were in folds behind. He seized
a stool, dragged it beside the boy's, and sat
down.

"Sit down," he said.

Paul took a seat.

Mr. Pappleworth was very close to him. The
man seized the letters, snatched a long
entry-book out of a rack in front of him, flung
it open, seized a pen, and said:

"Now look here. You want to copy these
letters in here." He sniffed twice, gave a
quick chew at his gum, stared fixedly at a
letter, then went very still and absorbed, and
wrote the entry rapidly, in a beautiful
flourishing hand. He glanced quickly at Paul.

"See that?"

"Yes."

"Think you can do it all right?"

"Yes."

"All right then, let's see you."

He sprang off his stool. Paul took a pen. Mr.
Pappleworth disappeared. Paul rather liked
copying the letters, but he wrote slowly,
laboriously, and exceedingly badly. He was
doing the fourth letter, and feeling quite
busy and happy, when Mr. Pappleworth
reappeared.

"Now then, how'r' yer getting on? Done
'em?"

He leaned over the boy's shoulder,
chewing, and smelling of chlorodyne.

"Strike my bob, lad, but you're a beautiful
writer!" he exclaimed satirically. "Ne'er
mind, how many h'yer done? Only three! I'd
'a eaten 'em. Get on, my lad, an' put
numbers on 'em. Here, look! Get on!"

Paul ground away at the letters, whilst Mr.
Pappleworth fussed over various jobs.
Suddenly the boy started as a shrill whistle
sounded near his ear. Mr. Pappleworth
came, took a plug out of a pipe, and said, in
an amazingly cross and bossy voice:

"Yes?"

Paul heard a faint voice, like a woman's,
out of the mouth of the tube. He gazed in
wonder, never having seen a speaking-
tube before.

"Well," said Mr. Pappleworth disagreeably
into the tube, "you'd better get some of your
back work done, then."

Again the woman's tiny voice was heard,
sounding pretty and cross.

-79-

"I've not time to stand here while you talk,"
said Mr. Pappleworth, and he pushed the
plug into the tube.

"Come, my lad," he said imploringly to Paul,
"there's Polly crying out for them orders.
Can't you buck up a bit? Here, come out!"

He took the book, to Paul's immense
chagrin, and began the copying himself. He
worked quickly and well. This done, he
seized some strips of long yellow paper,
about three inches wide, and made out the
day's orders for the work-girls.

"You'd better watch me," he said to Paul,
working all the while rapidly. Paul watched
the weird little drawings of legs, and thighs,
and ankles, with the strokes across and the
numbers, and the few brief directions which
his chief made upon the yellow paper. Then
Mr. Pappleworth finished and jumped up.

"Come on with me," he said, and the yellow
papers flying in his hands, he dashed
through a door and down some stairs, into
the basement where the gas was burning.
They crossed the cold, damp storeroom,
then a long, dreary room with a long table on
trestles, into a smaller, cosy apartment, not
very high, which had been built on to the
main building. In this room a small woman
with a red serge blouse, and her black hair
done on top of her head, was waiting like a
proud little bantam.

"Here y'are!" said Pappleworth.

"I think it is 'here you are'!" exclaimed Polly.
"The girls have been here nearly half an hour
waiting. Just think of the time wasted!"

"YOU think of getting your work done and
not talking so much," said Mr. Pappleworth.
"You could ha' been finishing off."

"You know quite well we finished everything
off on Saturday!" cried Pony, flying at him,
her dark eyes flashing.

"Tu-tu-tu-tu-terterter!" he mocked. "Here's
your new lad. Don't ruin him as you did the
last."

"As we did the last!" repeated Polly. "Yes,
WE do a lot of ruining, we do. My word, a lad
would TAKE some ruining after he'd been
with you."

"It's time for work now, not for talk," said Mr.
Pappleworth severely and coldly.

"It was time for work some time back," said
Polly, marching away with her head in the
air. She was an erect little body of forty.

In that room were two round spiral machines
on the bench under the window. Through the
inner doorway was another longer room,
with six more machines. A little group of
girls, nicely dressed in white aprons, stood
talking together.

"Have you nothing else to do but talk?" said
Mr. Pappleworth.

"Only wait for you," said one handsome girl,
laughing.

"Well, get on, get on," he said. "Come on, my
lad. You'll know your road down here
again."

And Paul ran upstairs after his chief. He
was given some checking and invoicing to
do. He stood at the desk, labouring in his
execrable handwriting. Presently Mr.
Jordan came strutting down from the glass
office and stood behind him, to the boy's
great discomfort. Suddenly a red and fat
finger was thrust on the form he was filling
in.

-80-

"MR. J. A. Bates, Esquire!" exclaimed the
cross voice just behind his ear.

Paul looked at "Mr. J. A. Bates, Esquire" in
his own vile writing, and wondered what
was the matter now.

"Didn't they teach you any better THAN that
while they were at it? If you put 'Mr.' you
don't put Esquire'-a man can't be both at
once."

The boy regretted his too-much generosity
in disposing of honours, hesitated, and with
trembling fingers, scratched out the "Mr."
Then all at once Mr. Jordan snatched away
the invoice.

"Make another! Are you going to send that
to a gentleman?" And he tore up the blue
form irritably.

Paul, his ears red with shame, began
again. Still Mr. Jordan watched.

"I don't know what they DO teach in schools.
You'll have to write better than that. Lads
learn nothing nowadays, but how to recite
poetry and play the fiddle. Have you seen
his writing?" he asked of Mr. Pappleworth.

"Yes; prime, isn't it?" replied Mr.
Pappleworth indifferently.

Mr. Jordan gave a little grunt, not unamiable.
Paul divined that his master's bark was
worse than his bite. Indeed, the little
manufacturer, although he spoke bad
English, was quite gentleman enough to
leave his men alone and to take no notice of
trifles. But he knew he did not look like the
boss and owner of the show, so he had to
play his role of proprietor at first, to put
things on a right footing.

"Let's see, WHAT'S your name?" asked Mr.

Pappleworth of the boy.

"Paul Morel."

It is curious that children suffer so much at
having to pronounce their own names.

"Paul Morel, is it? All right, you Paul-Morel
through them things there, and then—-"

Mr. Pappleworth subsided on to a stool,
and began writing. A girl came up from out
of a door just behind, put some newly-
pressed elastic web appliances on the
counter, and returned. Mr. Pappleworth
picked up the whitey-blue knee-band,
examined it, and its yellow order-paper
quickly, and put it on one side. Next was a
flesh-pink "leg". He went through the few
things, wrote out a couple of orders, and
called to Paul to accompany him. This time
they went through the door whence the girl
had emerged. There Paul found himself at
the top of a little wooden flight of steps, and
below him saw a room with windows round
two sides, and at the farther end half a
dozen girls sitting bending over the benches
in the light from the window, sewing. They
were singing together "Two Little Girls in
Blue". Hearing the door opened, they all
turned round, to see Mr. Pappleworth and
Paul looking down on them from the far end
of the room. They stopped singing.

"Can't you make a bit less row?" said Mr.
Pappleworth. "Folk'll think we keep cats."

A hunchback woman on a high stool turned
her long, rather heavy face towards Mr.
Pappleworth, and said, in a contralto voice:

"They're all tom-cats then."

In vain Mr. Pappleworth tried to be
impressive for Paul's benefit. He
descended the steps into the finishing-off

-81-

room, and went to the hunchback Fanny.
She had such a short body on her high stool
that her head, with its great bands of bright
brown hair, seemed over large, as did her
pale, heavy face. She wore a dress of
green-black cashmere, and her wrists,
coming out of the narrow cuffs, were thin
and flat, as she put down her work
nervously. He showed her something that
was wrong with a knee-cap.

"Well," she said, "you needn't come blaming
it on to me. It's not my fault." Her colour
mounted to her cheek.

"I never said it WAS your fault. Will you do as I
tell you?" replied Mr. Pappleworth shortly.

"You don't say it's my fault, but you'd like to
make out as it was," the hunchback woman
cried, almost in tears. Then she snatched
the knee-cap from her "boss", saying: "Yes,
I'll do it for you, but you needn't be snappy."

"Here's your new lad," said Mr.
Pappleworth.

Fanny turned, smiling very gently on Paul.

"Oh!" she said.

"Yes; don't make a softy of him between
you."

"It's not us as 'ud make a softy of him," she
said indignantly.

"Come on then, Paul," said Mr.
Pappleworth.

"Au revoy, Paul," said one of the girls.

There was a titter of laughter. Paul went out,
blushing deeply, not having spoken a word.

The day was very long. All morning the

work-people were coming to speak to Mr.
Pappleworth. Paul was writing or learning
to make up parcels, ready for the midday
post. At one o'clock, or, rather, at a quarter
to one, Mr. Pappleworth disappeared to
catch his train: he lived in the suburbs. At
one o'clock, Paul, feeling very lost, took his
dinner-basket down into the stockroom in
the basement, that had the long table on
trestles, and ate his meal hurriedly, alone in
that cellar of gloom and desolation. Then he
went out of doors. The brightness and the
freedom of the streets made him feel
adventurous and happy. But at two o'clock
he was back in the corner of the big room.
Soon the work-girls went trooping past,
making remarks. It was the commoner girls
who worked upstairs at the heavy tasks of
truss-making and the finishing of artificial
limbs. He waited for Mr. Pappleworth, not
knowing what to do, sitting scribbling on the
yellow order-paper. Mr. Pappleworth came
at twenty minutes to three. Then he sat and
gossiped with Paul, treating the boy entirely
as an equal, even in age.

In the afternoon there was never very much
to do, unless it were near the week-end,
and the accounts had to be made up. At five
o'clock all the men went down into the
dungeon with the table on trestles, and there
they had tea, eating bread-and-butter on
the bare, dirty boards, talking with the same
kind of ugly haste and slovenliness with
which they ate their meal. And yet upstairs
the atmosphere among them was always
jolly and clear. The cellar and the trestles
affected them.

After tea, when all the gases were lighted,
WORK went more briskly. There was the big
evening post to get off. The hose came up
warm and newly pressed from the
workrooms. Paul had made out the
invoices. Now he had the packing up and
addressing to do, then he had to weigh his

-82-

stock of parcels on the scales. Everywhere
voices were calling weights, there was the
chink of metal, the rapid snapping of string,
the hurrying to old Mr. Melling for stamps.
And at last the postman came with his sack,
laughing and jolly. Then everything slacked
off, and Paul took his dinner-basket and
ran to the station to catch the eight-twenty
train. The day in the factory was just twelve
hours long.

His mother sat waiting for him rather
anxiously. He had to walk from Keston, so
was not home until about twenty past nine.
And he left the house before seven in the
morning. Mrs. Morel was rather anxious
about his health. But she herself had had to
put up with so much that she expected her
children to take the same odds. They must
go through with what came. And Paul
stayed at Jordan's, although all the time he
was there his health suffered from the
darkness and lack of air and the long hours.

He came in pale and tired. His mother
looked at him. She saw he was rather
pleased, and her anxiety all went.

"Well, and how was it?" she asked.

"Ever so funny, mother," he replied. "You
don't have to work a bit hard, and they're
nice with you."

"And did you get on all right?"

"Yes: they only say my writing's bad. But Mr.
Pappleworth—he's my man—said to Mr.
Jordan I should be all right. I'm Spiral,
mother; you must come and see. It's ever so
nice."

Soon he liked Jordan's. Mr. Pappleworth,
who had a certain "saloon bar" flavour about
him, was always natural, and treated him as
if he had been a comrade. Sometimes the

"Spiral boss" was irritable, and chewed
more lozenges than ever. Even then,
however, he was not offensive, but one of
those people who hurt themselves by their
own irritability more than they hurt other
people.

"Haven't you done that YET?" he would cry.
"Go on, be a month of Sundays."

Again, and Paul could understand him least
then, he was jocular and in high spirits.

"I'm going to bring my little Yorkshire terrier
bitch tomorrow," he said jubilantly to Paul.

"What's a Yorkshire terrier?"

"DON'T know what a Yorkshire terrier is?
DON'T KNOW A YORKSHIRE—-" Mr.
Pappleworth was aghast.

"Is it a little silky one—colours of iron and rusty
silver?"

"THAT'S it, my lad. She's a gem. She's had
five pounds' worth of pups already, and
she's worth over seven pounds herself; and
she doesn't weigh twenty ounces."

The next day the bitch came. She was a
shivering, miserable morsel. Paul did not
care for her; she seemed so like a wet rag
that would never dry. Then a man called for
her, and began to make coarse jokes. But
Mr. Pappleworth nodded his head in the
direction of the boy, and the talk went on
sotto voce.

Mr. Jordan only made one more excursion
to watch Paul, and then the only fault he
found was seeing the boy lay his pen on the
counter.

"Put your pen in your ear, if you're going to
be a clerk. Pen in your ear!" And one day he

-83-

said to the lad: "Why don't you hold your
shoulders straighter? Come down here,"
when he took him into the glass office and
fitted him with special braces for keeping
the shoulders square.

But Paul liked the girls best. The men
seemed common and rather dull. He liked
them all, but they were uninteresting. Polly,
the little brisk overseer downstairs, finding
Paul eating in the cellar, asked him if she
could cook him anything on her little stove.
Next day his mother gave him a dish that
could be heated up. He took it into the
pleasant, clean room to Polly. And very
soon it grew to be an established custom
that he should have dinner with her. When he
came in at eight in the morning he took his
basket to her, and when he came down at
one o'clock she had his dinner ready.

He was not very tall, and pale, with thick
chestnut hair, irregular features, and a
wide, full mouth. She was like a small bird.
He often called her a "robinet". Though
naturally rather quiet, he would sit and
chatter with her for hours telling her about
his home. The girls all liked to hear him talk.
They often gathered in a little circle while he
sat on a bench, and held forth to them,
laughing. Some of them regarded him as a
curious little creature, so serious, yet so
bright and jolly, and always so delicate in
his way with them. They all liked him, and he
adored them. Polly he felt he belonged to.
Then Connie, with her mane of red hair, her
face of apple-blossom, her murmuring
voice, such a lady in her shabby black frock,
appealed to his romantic side.

"When you sit winding," he said, "it looks as
if you were spinning at a spinning-wheel—it
looks ever so nice. You remind me of Elaine
in the 'Idylls of the King'. I'd draw you if I
could."

And she glanced at him blushing shyly. And
later on he had a sketch he prized very
much: Connie sitting on the stool before the
wheel, her flowing mane of red hair on her
rusty black frock, her red mouth shut and
serious, running the scarlet thread off the
hank on to the reel.

With Louie, handsome and brazen, who
always seemed to thrust her hip at him, he
usually joked.

Emma was rather plain, rather old, and
condescending. But to condescend to him
made her happy, and he did not mind.

"How do you put needles in?" he asked.

"Go away and don't bother."

"But I ought to know how to put needles in."

She ground at her machine all the while
steadily.

"There are many things you ought to know,"
she replied.

"Tell me, then, how to stick needles in the
machine."

"Oh, the boy, what a nuisance he is! Why,
THIS is how you do it."

He watched her attentively. Suddenly a
whistle piped. Then Polly appeared, and
said in a clear voice:

"Mr. Pappleworth wants to know how much
longer you're going to be down here playing
with the girls, Paul."

Paul flew upstairs, calling "Good-bye!" and
Emma drew herself up.

"It wasn't ME who wanted him to play with

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the machine," she said.

As a rule, when all the girls came back at
two o'clock, he ran upstairs to Fanny, the
hunchback, in the finishing-off room. Mr.
Pappleworth did not appear till twenty to
three, and he often found his boy sitting
beside Fanny, talking, or drawing, or
singing with the girls.

Often, after a minute's hesitation, Fanny
would begin to sing. She had a fine
contralto voice. Everybody joined in the
chorus, and it went well. Paul was not at all
embarrassed, after a while, sitting in the
room with the half a dozen work-girls.

At the end of the song Fanny would say:

"I know you've been laughing at me."

"Don't be so soft, Fanny!" cried one of the
girls.

Once there was mention of Connie's red
hair.

"Fanny's is better, to my fancy," said
Emma.

"You needn't try to make a fool of me," said
Fanny, flushing deeply.

"No, but she has, Paul; she's got beautiful
hair."

"It's a treat of a colour," said he. "That
coldish colour like earth, and yet shiny. It's
like bog-water."

"Goodness me!" exclaimed one girl,
laughing.

"How I do but get criticised," said Fanny.

"But you should see it down, Paul," cried

Emma earnestly. "It's simply beautiful. Put it
down for him, Fanny, if he wants something
to paint."

Fanny would not, and yet she wanted to.

"Then I'll take it down myself," said the lad.

"Well, you can if you like," said Fanny.

And he carefully took the pins out of the
knot, and the rush of hair, of uniform dark
brown, slid over the humped back.

"What a lovely lot!" he exclaimed.

The girls watched. There was silence. The
youth shook the hair loose from the coil.

"It's splendid!" he said, smelling its
perfume. "I'll bet it's worth pounds."

"I'll leave it you when I die, Paul," said
Fanny, half joking.

"You look just like anybody else, sitting
drying their hair," said one of the girls to the
long-legged hunchback.

Poor Fanny was morbidly sensitive, always
imagining insults. Polly was curt and
businesslike. The two departments were for
ever at war, and Paul was always finding
Fanny in tears. Then he was made the
recipient of all her woes, and he had to
plead her case with Polly.

So the time went along happily enough. The
factory had a homely feel. No one was
rushed or driven. Paul always enjoyed it
when the work got faster, towards post-
time, and all the men united in labour. He
liked to watch his fellow-clerks at work. The
man was the work and the work was the
man, one thing, for the time being. It was
different with the girls. The real woman

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never seemed to be there at the task, but as
if left out, waiting.

From the train going home at night he used
to watch the lights of the town, sprinkled
thick on the hills, fusing together in a blaze in
the valleys. He felt rich in life and happy.
Drawing farther off, there was a patch of
lights at Bulwell like myriad petals shaken to
the ground from the shed stars; and beyond
was the red glare of the furnaces, playing
like hot breath on the clouds.

He had to walk two and more miles from
Keston home, up two long hills, down two
short hills. He was often tired, and he
counted the lamps climbing the hill above
him, how many more to pass. And from the
hilltop, on pitch-dark nights, he looked
round on the villages five or six miles away,
that shone like swarms of glittering living
things, almost a heaven against his feet.
Marlpool and Heanor scattered the far-off
darkness with brilliance. And occasionally
the black valley space between was traced,
violated by a great train rushing south to
London or north to Scotland. The trains
roared by like projectiles level on the
darkness, fuming and burning, making the
valley clang with their passage. They were
gone, and the lights of the towns and
villages glittered in silence.

And then he came to the corner at home,
which faced the other side of the night. The
ash-tree seemed a friend now. His mother
rose with gladness as he entered. He put
his eight shillings proudly on the table.

"It'll help, mother?" he asked wistfully.

"There's precious little left," she answered,
"after your ticket and dinners and such are
taken off."

Then he told her the budget of the day. His

life-story, like an Arabian Nights, was told
night after night to his mother. It was almost
as if it were her own life.

Chapter 6: DEATH IN THE FAMILY

ARTHUR MOREL was growing up. He was
a quick, careless, impulsive boy, a good
deal like his father. He hated study, made a
great moan if he had to work, and escaped
as soon as possible to his sport again.

In appearance he remained the flower of
the family, being well made, graceful, and
full of life. His dark brown hair and fresh
colouring, and his exquisite dark blue eyes
shaded with long lashes, together with his
generous manner and fiery temper, made
him a favourite. But as he grew older his
temper became uncertain. He flew into
rages over nothing, seemed unbearably
raw and irritable.

His mother, whom he loved, wearied of him
sometimes. He thought only of himself.
When he wanted amusement, all that stood
in his way he hated, even if it were she.
When he was in trouble he moaned to her
ceaselessly.

"Goodness, boy!" she said, when he
groaned about a master who, he said,
hated him, "if you don't like it, alter it, and if
you can't alter it, put up with it."

And his father, whom he had loved and who
had worshipped him, he came to detest. As
he grew older Morel fell into a slow ruin. His
body, which had been beautiful in
movement and in being, shrank, did not
seem to ripen with the years, but to get
mean and rather despicable. There came
over him a look of meanness and of
paltriness. And when the mean-looking
elderly man bullied or ordered the boy
about, Arthur was furious. Moreover,

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Morel's manners got worse and worse, his
habits somewhat disgusting. When the
children were growing up and in the crucial
stage of adolescence, the father was like
some ugly irritant to their souls. His manners
in the house were the same as he used
among the colliers down pit.

"Dirty nuisance!" Arthur would cry, jumping
up and going straight out of the house when
his father disgusted him. And Morel
persisted the more because his children
hated it. He seemed to take a kind of
satisfaction in disgusting them, and driving
them nearly mad, while they were so
irritably sensitive at the age of fourteen or
fifteen. So that Arthur, who was growing up
when his father was degenerate and
elderly, hated him worst of all.

Then, sometimes, the father would seem to
feel the contemptuous hatred of his
children.

"There's not a man tries harder for his
family!" he would shout. "He does his best
for them, and then gets treated like a dog.
But I'm not going to stand it, I tell you!"

But for the threat and the fact that he did not
try so hard as be imagined, they would have
felt sorry. As it was, the battle now went on
nearly all between father and children, he
persisting in his dirty and disgusting ways,
just to assert his independence. They
loathed him.

Arthur was so inflamed and irritable at last,
that when he won a scholarship for the
Grammar School in Nottingham, his mother
decided to let him live in town, with one of
her sisters, and only come home at week-
ends.

Annie was still a junior teacher in the Board-
school, earning about four shillings a week.

But soon she would have fifteen shillings,
since she had passed her examination, and
there would be financial peace in the house.

Mrs. Morel clung now to Paul. He was quiet
and not brilliant. But still he stuck to his
painting, and still he stuck to his mother.
Everything he did was for her. She waited
for his coming home in the evening, and
then she unburdened herself of all she had
pondered, or of all that had occurred to her
during the day. He sat and listened with his
earnestness. The two shared lives.

William was engaged now to his brunette,
and had bought her an engagement ring that
cost eight guineas. The children gasped at
such a fabulous price.

"Eight guineas!" said Morel. "More fool him!
If he'd gen me some on't, it 'ud ha' looked
better on 'im."

"Given YOU some of it!" cried Mrs. Morel.
"Why give YOU some of it!"

She remembered HE had bought no
engagement ring at all, and she preferred
William, who was not mean, if he were
foolish. But now the young man talked only
of the dances to which he went with his
betrothed, and the different resplendent
clothes she wore; or he told his mother with
glee how they went to the theatre like great
swells.

He wanted to bring the girl home. Mrs. Morel
said she should come at the Christmas.
This time William arrived with a lady, but with
no presents. Mrs. Morel had prepared
supper. Hearing footsteps, she rose and
went to the door. William entered.

"Hello, mother!" He kissed her hastily, then
stood aside to present a tall, handsome girl,
who was wearing a costume of fine black-

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and-white check, and furs.

"Here's Gyp!"

Miss Western held out her hand and showed
her teeth in a small smile.

"Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Morel!" she
exclaimed.

"I am afraid you will be hungry," said Mrs.
Morel.

"Oh no, we had dinner in the train. Have you
got my gloves, Chubby?"

William Morel, big and raw-boned, looked
at her quickly.

"How should I?" he said.

"Then I've lost them. Don't be cross with
me."

A frown went over his face, but he said
nothing. She glanced round the kitchen. It
was small and curious to her, with its
glittering kissing-bunch, its evergreens
behind the pictures, its wooden chairs and
little deal table. At that moment Morel came
in.

"Hello, dad!"

"Hello, my son! Tha's let on me!"

The two shook hands, and William
presented the lady. She gave the same
smile that showed her teeth.

"How do you do, Mr. Morel?"

Morel bowed obsequiously.

"I'm very well, and I hope so are you. You
must make yourself very welcome."

"Oh, thank you," she replied, rather amused.

"You will like to go upstairs," said Mrs.
Morel.

"If you don't mind; but not if it is any trouble
to you."

"It is no trouble. Annie will take you. Walter,
carry up this box."

"And don't be an hour dressing yourself up,"
said William to his betrothed.

Annie took a brass candlestick, and, too
shy almost to speak, preceded the young
lady to the front bedroom, which Mr. and
Mrs. Morel had vacated for her. It, too, was
small and cold by candlelight. The colliers'
wives only lit fires in bedrooms in case of
extreme illness.

"Shall I unstrap the box?" asked Annie.

"Oh, thank you very much!"

Annie played the part of maid, then went
downstairs for hot water.

"I think she's rather tired, mother," said
William. "It's a beastly journey, and we had
such a rush."

"Is there anything I can give her?" asked
Mrs. Morel.

"Oh no, she'll be all right."

But there was a chill in the atmosphere.
After half an hour Miss Western came down,
having put on a purplish-coloured dress,
very fine for the collier's kitchen.

"I told you you'd no need to change," said
William to her.

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"Oh, Chubby!" Then she turned with that
sweetish smile to Mrs. Morel. "Don't you
think he's always grumbling, Mrs. Morel?"

"Is he?" said Mrs. Morel. "That's not very
nice of him."

"It isn't, really!"

"You are cold," said the mother. "Won't you
come near the fire?"

Morel jumped out of his armchair.

"Come and sit you here!" he cried. "Come
and sit you here!"

"No, dad, keep your own chair. Sit on the
sofa, Gyp," said William.

"No, no!" cried Morel. "This cheer's
warmest. Come and sit here, Miss
Wesson."

"Thank you so much," said the girl, seating
herself in the collier's armchair, the place of
honour. She shivered, feeling the warmth of
the kitchen penetrate her.

"Fetch me a hanky, Chubby dear!" she said,
putting up her mouth to him, and using the
same intimate tone as if they were alone;
which made the rest of the family feel as if
they ought not to be present. The young lady
evidently did not realise them as people:
they were creatures to her for the present.
William winced.

In such a household, in Streatham, Miss
Western would have been a lady
condescending to her inferiors. These
people were to her, certainly clownish—in
short, the working classes. How was she to
adjust herself?

"I'll go," said Annie.

Miss Western took no notice, as if a servant
had spoken. But when the girl came
downstairs again with the handkerchief,
she said: "Oh, thank you!" in a gracious way.

She sat and talked about the dinner on the
train, which had been so poor; about
London, about dances. She was really very
nervous, and chattered from fear. Morel sat
all the time smoking his thick twist tobacco,
watching her, and listening to her glib
London speech, as he puffed. Mrs. Morel,
dressed up in her best black silk blouse,
answered quietly and rather briefly. The
three children sat round in silence and
admiration. Miss Western was the princess.
Everything of the best was got out for her:
the best cups, the best spoons, the best
table cloth, the best coffee-jug. The
children thought she must find it quite grand.
She felt strange, not able to realise the
people, not knowing how to treat them.
William joked, and was slightly
uncomfortable.

At about ten o'clock he said to her:

"Aren't you tired, Gyp?"

"Rather, Chubby," she answered, at once in
the intimate tones and putting her head
slightly on one side.

"I'll light her the candle, mother," he said.

"Very well," replied the mother.

Miss Western stood up, held out her hand to
Mrs. Morel.

"Good-night, Mrs. Morel," she said.

Paul sat at the boiler, letting the water run
from the tap into a stone beer-bottle. Annie
swathed the bottle in an old flannel pit-
singlet, and kissed her mother good-night.

-89-

She was to share the room with the lady,
because the house was full.

"You wait a minute," said Mrs. Morel to
Annie. And Annie sat nursing the hot-water
bottle. Miss Western shook hands all round,
to everybody's discomfort, and took her
departure, preceded by William. In five
minutes he was downstairs again. His heart
was rather sore; he did not know why. He
talked very little till everybody had gone to
bed, but himself and his mother. Then he
stood with his legs apart, in his old attitude
on the hearthrug, and said hesitatingly:

"Well, mother?"

"Well, my son?"

She sat in the rocking-chair, feeling
somehow hurt and humiliated, for his sake.

"Do you like her?"

"Yes," came the slow answer.

"She's shy yet, mother. She's not used to it.
It's different from her aunt's house, you
know."

"Of course it is, my boy; and she must find it
difficult."

"She does." Then he frowned swiftly. "If only
she wouldn't put on her BLESSED airs!"

"It's only her first awkwardness, my boy.
She'll be all right."

"That's it, mother," he replied gratefully. But
his brow was gloomy. "You know, she's not
like you, mother. She's not serious, and she
can't think."

"She's young, my boy."

"Yes; and she's had no sort of show. Her
mother died when she was a child. Since
then she's lived with her aunt, whom she
can't bear. And her father was a rake.
She's had no love."

"No! Well, you must make up to her."

"And so—you have to forgive her a lot of
things."

"WHAT do you have to forgive her, my boy?"

"I dunno. When she seems shallow, you have
to remember she's never had anybody to
bring her deeper side out. And she's
FEARFULLY fond of me."

"Anybody can see that."

"But you know, mother—she's—she's
different from us. Those sort of people, like
those she lives amongst, they don't seem to
have the same principles."

"You mustn't judge too hastily," said Mrs.
Morel.

But he seemed uneasy within himself.

In the morning, however, he was up singing
and larking round the house.

"Hello!" he called, sitting on the stairs. "Are
you getting up?"

"Yes," her voice called faintly.

"Merry Christmas!" he shouted to her.

Her laugh, pretty and tinkling, was heard in
the bedroom. She did not come down in half
an hour.

"Was she REALLY getting up when she said
she was?" he asked of Annie.

-90-

"Yes, she was," replied Annie.

He waited a while, then went to the stairs
again.

"Happy New Year," he called.

"Thank you, Chubby dear!" came the
laughing voice, far away.

"Buck up!" he implored.

It was nearly an hour, and still he was
waiting for her. Morel, who always rose
before six, looked at the clock.

"Well, it's a winder!" he exclaimed.

The family had breakfasted, all but William.
He went to the foot of the stairs.

"Shall I have to send you an Easter egg up
there?" he called, rather crossly. She only
laughed. The family expected, after that
time of preparation, something like magic.
At last she came, looking very nice in a
blouse and skirt.

"Have you REALLY been all this time getting
ready?" he asked.

"Chubby dear! That question is not
permitted, is it, Mrs. Morel?"

She played the grand lady at first. When she
went with William to chapel, he in his frock-
coat and silk hat, she in her furs and
London-made costume, Paul and Arthur
and Annie expected everybody to bow to
the ground in admiration. And Morel,
standing in his Sunday suit at the end of the
road, watching the gallant pair go, felt he
was the father of princes and princesses.

And yet she was not so grand. For a year
now she had been a sort of secretary or

clerk in a London office. But while she was
with the Morels she queened it. She sat and
let Annie or Paul wait on her as if they were
her servants. She treated Mrs. Morel with a
certain glibness and Morel with patronage.
But after a day or so she began to change
her tune.

William always wanted Paul or Annie to go
along with them on their walks. It was so
much more interesting. And Paul really DID
admire "Gipsy" wholeheartedly; in fact, his
mother scarcely forgave the boy for the
adulation with which he treated the girl.

On the second day, when Lily said: "Oh,
Annie, do you know where I left my muff?"
William replied:

"You know it is in your bedroom. Why do you
ask Annie?"

And Lily went upstairs with a cross, shut
mouth. But it angered the young man that
she made a servant of his sister.

On the third evening William and Lily were
sitting together in the parlour by the fire in
the dark. At a quarter to eleven Mrs. Morel
was heard raking the fire. William came out
to the kitchen, followed by his beloved.

"Is it as late as that, mother?" he said. She
had been sitting alone.

"It is not LATE, my boy, but it is as late as I
usually sit up."

"Won't you go to bed, then?" he asked.

"And leave you two? No, my boy, I don't
believe in it."

"Can't you trust us, mother?"

"Whether I can or not, I won't do it. You can

-91-

stay till eleven if you like, and I can read."

"Go to bed, Gyp," he said to his girl. "We
won't keep mater waiting."

"Annie has left the candle burning, Lily,"
said Mrs. Morel; "I think you will see."

"Yes, thank you. Good-night, Mrs. Morel."

William kissed his sweetheart at the foot of
the stairs, and she went. He returned to the
kitchen.

"Can't you trust us, mother?" he repeated,
rather offended.

"My boy, I tell you I don't BELIEVE in leaving
two young things like you alone downstairs
when everyone else is in bed."

And he was forced to take this answer. He
kissed his mother good-night.

At Easter he came over alone. And then he
discussed his sweetheart endlessly with his
mother.

"You know, mother, when I'm away from her
I don't care for her a bit. I shouldn't care if I
never saw her again. But, then, when I'm
with her in the evenings I am awfully fond of
her."

"It's a queer sort of love to marry on," said
Mrs. Morel, "if she holds you no more than
that!"

"It IS funny!" he exclaimed. It worried and
perplexed him. "But yet—there's so much
between us now I couldn't give her up."

"You know best," said Mrs. Morel. "But if it is
as you say, I wouldn't call it LOVE—at any
rate, it doesn't look much like it."

"Oh, I don't know, mother. She's an orphan,
and—-"

They never came to any sort of conclusion.
He seemed puzzled and rather fretted. She
was rather reserved. All his strength and
money went in keeping this girl. He could
scarcely afford to take his mother to
Nottingham when he came over.

Paul's wages had been raised at
Christmas to ten shillings, to his great joy.
He was quite happy at Jordan's, but his
health suffered from the long hours and the
confinement. His mother, to whom he
became more and more significant, thought
how to help.

His half-day holiday was on Monday
afternoon. On a Monday morning in May, as
the two sat alone at breakfast, she said:

"I think it will be a fine day."

He looked up in surprise. This meant
something.

"You know Mr. Leivers has gone to live on a
new farm. Well, he asked me last week if I
wouldn't go and see Mrs. Leivers, and I
promised to bring you on Monday if it's fine.
Shall we go?"

"I say, little woman, how lovely!" he cried.
"And we'll go this afternoon?"

Paul hurried off to the station jubilant. Down
Derby Road was a cherry-tree that
glistened. The old brick wall by the Statutes
ground burned scarlet, spring was a very
flame of green. And the steep swoop of
highroad lay, in its cool morning dust,
splendid with patterns of sunshine and
shadow, perfectly still. The trees sloped
their great green shoulders proudly; and
inside the warehouse all the morning, the

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boy had a vision of spring outside.

When he came home at dinner-time his
mother was rather excited.

"Are we going?" he asked.

"When I'm ready," she replied.

Presently he got up.

"Go and get dressed while I wash up," he
said.

She did so. He washed the pots,
straightened, and then took her boots. They
were quite clean. Mrs. Morel was one of
those naturally exquisite people who can
walk in mud without dirtying their shoes. But
Paul had to clean them for her. They were
kid boots at eight shillings a pair. He,
however, thought them the most dainty
boots in the world, and he cleaned them
with as much reverence as if they had been
flowers.

Suddenly she appeared in the inner
doorway rather shyly. She had got a new
cotton blouse on. Paul jumped up and went
forward.

"Oh, my stars!" he exclaimed. "What a
bobby-dazzler!"

She sniffed in a little haughty way, and put
her head up.

"It's not a bobby-dazzler at all!" she replied.
"It's very quiet."

She walked forward, whilst he hovered
round her.

"Well," she asked, quite shy, but pretending
to be high and mighty, "do you like it?"

"Awfully! You ARE a fine little woman to go
jaunting out with!"

He went and surveyed her from the back.

"Well," he said, "if I was walking down the
street behind you, I should say: 'Doesn't
THAT little person fancy herself!"'

"Well, she doesn't," replied Mrs. Morel.
"She's not sure it suits her."

"Oh no! she wants to be in dirty black,
looking as if she was wrapped in burnt
paper. It DOES suit you, and I say you look
nice."

She sniffed in her little way, pleased, but
pretending to know better.

"Well," she said, "it's cost me just three
shillings. You couldn't have got it ready-
made for that price, could you?"

"I should think you couldn't," he replied.

"And, you know, it's good stuff."

"Awfully pretty," he said.

The blouse was white, with a little sprig of
heliotrope and black.

"Too young for me, though, I'm afraid," she
said.

"Too young for you!" he exclaimed in
disgust. "Why don't you buy some false
white hair and stick it on your head."

"I s'll soon have no need," she replied. "I'm
going white fast enough."

"Well, you've no business to," he said. "What
do I want with a white-haired mother?"

-93-

"I'm afraid you'll have to put up with one, my
lad," she said rather strangely.

They set off in great style, she carrying the
umbrella William had given her, because of
the sun. Paul was considerably taller than
she, though he was not big. He fancied
himself.

On the fallow land the young wheat shone
silkily. Minton pit waved its plumes of white
steam, coughed, and rattled hoarsely.

"Now look at that!" said Mrs. Morel. Mother
and son stood on the road to watch. Along
the ridge of the great pit-hill crawled a little
group in silhouette against the sky, a horse,
a small truck, and a man. They climbed the
incline against the heavens. At the end the
man tipped the wagon. There was an undue
rattle as the waste fell down the sheer slope
of the enormous bank.

"You sit a minute, mother," he said, and she
took a seat on a bank, whilst he sketched
rapidly. She was silent whilst he worked,
looking round at the afternoon, the red
cottages shining among their greenness.

"The world is a wonderful place," she said,
"and wonderfully beautiful."

"And so's the pit," he said. "Look how it
heaps together, like something alive
almost—a big creature that you don't know."

"Yes," she said. "Perhaps!"

"And all the trucks standing waiting, like a
string of beasts to be fed," he said.

"And very thankful I am they ARE standing,"
she said, "for that means they'll turn
middling time this week."

"But I like the feel of MEN on things, while

they're alive. There's a feel of men about
trucks, because they've been handled with
men's hands, all of them."

"Yes," said Mrs. Morel.

They went along under the trees of the
highroad. He was constantly informing her,
but she was interested. They passed the
end of Nethermere, that was tossing its
sunshine like petals lightly in its lap. Then
they turned on a private road, and in some
trepidation approached a big farm. A dog
barked furiously. A woman came out to see.

"Is this the way to Willey Farm?" Mrs. Morel
asked.

Paul hung behind in terror of being sent
back. But the woman was amiable, and
directed them. The mother and son went
through the wheat and oats, over a little
bridge into a wild meadow. Peewits, with
their white breasts glistening, wheeled and
screamed about them. The lake was still
and blue. High overhead a heron floated.
Opposite, the wood heaped on the hill,
green and still.

"It's a wild road, mother," said Paul. "Just
like Canada."

"Isn't it beautiful!" said Mrs. Morel, looking
round.

"See that heron—see—see her legs?"

He directed his mother, what she must see
and what not. And she was quite content.

"But now," she said, "which way? He told
me through the wood."

The wood, fenced and dark, lay on their left.

"I can feel a bit of a path this road," said

-94-

Paul. "You've got town feet, somehow or
other, you have."

They found a little gate, and soon were in a
broad green alley of the wood, with a new
thicket of fir and pine on one hand, an old
oak glade dipping down on the other. And
among the oaks the bluebells stood in pools
of azure, under the new green hazels, upon
a pale fawn floor of oak-leaves. He found
flowers for her.

"Here's a bit of new-mown hay," he said;
then, again, he brought her forget-me-nots.
And, again, his heart hurt with love, seeing
her hand, used with work, holding the little
bunch of flowers he gave her. She was
perfectly happy.

But at the end of the riding was a fence to
climb. Paul was over in a second.

"Come," he said, "let me help you."

"No, go away. I will do it in my own way."

He stood below with his hands up ready to
help her. She climbed cautiously.

"What a way to climb!" he exclaimed
scornfully, when she was safely to earth
again.

"Hateful stiles!" she cried.

"Duffer of a little woman," he replied, "who
can't get over 'em."

In front, along the edge of the wood, was a
cluster of low red farm buildings. The two
hastened forward. Flush with the wood was
the apple orchard, where blossom was
falling on the grindstone. The pond was
deep under a hedge and overhanging oak
trees. Some cows stood in the shade. The
farm and buildings, three sides of a

quadrangle, embraced the sunshine
towards the wood. It was very still.

Mother and son went into the small railed
garden, where was a scent of red gillivers.
By the open door were some floury loaves,
put out to cool. A hen was just coming to
peck them. Then, in the doorway suddenly
appeared a girl in a dirty apron. She was
about fourteen years old, had a rosy dark
face, a bunch of short black curls, very fine
and free, and dark eyes; shy, questioning, a
little resentful of the strangers, she
disappeared. In a minute another figure
appeared, a small, frail woman, rosy, with
great dark brown eyes.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, smiling with a little
glow, "you've come, then. I AM glad to see
you." Her voice was intimate and rather sad.

The two women shook hands.

"Now are you sure we're not a bother to
you?" said Mrs. Morel. "I know what a
farming life is."

"Oh no! We're only too thankful to see a new
face, it's so lost up here."

"I suppose so," said Mrs. Morel.

They were taken through into the parlour—a
long, low room, with a great bunch of
guelder-roses in the fireplace. There the
women talked, whilst Paul went out to
survey the land. He was in the garden
smelling the gillivers and looking at the
plants, when the girl came out quickly to the
heap of coal which stood by the fence.

"I suppose these are cabbage-roses?" he
said to her, pointing to the bushes along the
fence.

She looked at him with startled, big brown

-95-

eyes.

"I suppose they are cabbage-roses when
they come out?" he said.

"I don't know," she faltered. "They're white
with pink middles."

"Then they're maiden-blush."

Miriam flushed. She had a beautiful warm
colouring.

"I don't know," she said.

"You don't have MUCH in your garden," he
said.

"This is our first year here," she answered,
in a distant, rather superior way, drawing
back and going indoors. He did not notice,
but went his round of exploration. Presently
his mother came out, and they went through
the buildings. Paul was hugely delighted.

"And I suppose you have the fowls and
calves and pigs to look after?" said Mrs.
Morel to Mrs. Leivers.

"No," replied the little woman. "I can't find
time to look after cattle, and I'm not used to
it. It's as much as I can do to keep going in
the house."

"Well, I suppose it is," said Mrs. Morel.

Presently the girl came out.

"Tea is ready, mother," she said in a
musical, quiet voice.

"Oh, thank you, Miriam, then we'll come,"
replied her mother, almost ingratiatingly.
"Would you CARE to have tea now, Mrs.
Morel?"

"Of course," said Mrs. Morel. "Whenever it's
ready."

Paul and his mother and Mrs. Leivers had
tea together. Then they went out into the
wood that was flooded with bluebells, while
fumy forget-me-nots were in the paths. The
mother and son were in ecstasy together.

When they got back to the house, Mr.
Leivers and Edgar, the eldest son, were in
the kitchen. Edgar was about eighteen.
Then Geoffrey and Maurice, big lads of
twelve and thirteen, were in from school. Mr.
Leivers was a good-looking man in the
prime of life, with a golden-brown
moustache, and blue eyes screwed up
against the weather.

The boys were condescending, but Paul
scarcely observed it. They went round for
eggs, scrambling into all sorts of places. As
they were feeding the fowls Miriam came
out. The boys took no notice of her. One
hen, with her yellow chickens, was in a
coop. Maurice took his hand full of corn and
let the hen peck from it.

"Durst you do it?" he asked of Paul.

"Let's see," said Paul.

He had a small hand, warm, and rather
capable-looking. Miriam watched. He held
the corn to the hen. The bird eyed it with her
hard, bright eye, and suddenly made a peck
into his hand. He started, and laughed.
"Rap, rap, rap!" went the bird's beak in his
palm. He laughed again, and the other boys
joined.

"She knocks you, and nips you, but she
never hurts," said Paul, when the last corn
had gone. " Now, Miriam," said Maurice,
"you come an 'ave a go."

-96-

"No," she cried, shrinking back.

"Ha! baby. The mardy-kid!" said her
brothers.

"It doesn't hurt a bit," said Paul. "It only just
nips rather nicely."

"No," she still cried, shaking her black curls
and shrinking.

"She dursn't," said Geoffrey. "She niver
durst do anything except recite poitry."

"Dursn't jump off a gate, dursn't tweedle,
dursn't go on a slide, dursn't stop a girl
hittin' her. She can do nowt but go about
thinkin' herself somebody. 'The Lady of the
Lake.' Yah!" cried Maurice.

Miriam was crimson with shame and
misery.

"I dare do more than you," she cried. "You're
never anything but cowards and bullies."

"Oh, cowards and bullies!" they repeated
mincingly, mocking her speech.


"Not such a clown shall anger me,
A boor is answered silently,"

he quoted against her, shouting with
laughter.

She went indoors. Paul went with the boys
into the orchard, where they had rigged up a
parallel bar. They did feats of strength. He
was more agile than strong, but it served.
He fingered a piece of apple-blossom that
hung low on a swinging bough.

"I wouldn't get the apple-blossom," said
Edgar, the eldest brother. "There'll be no
apples next year."

"I wasn't going to get it," replied Paul, going
away.

The boys felt hostile to him; they were more
interested in their own pursuits. He
wandered back to the house to look for his
mother. As he went round the back, he saw
Miriam kneeling in front of the hen-coop,
some maize in her hand, biting her lip, and
crouching in an intense attitude. The hen
was eyeing her wickedly. Very gingerly she
put forward her hand. The hen bobbed for
her. She drew back quickly with a cry, half
of fear, half of chagrin.

"It won't hurt you," said Paul.

She flushed crimson and started up.

"I only wanted to try," she said in a low voice.

"See, it doesn't hurt," he said, and, putting
only two corns in his palm, he let the hen
peck, peck, peck at his bare hand. "It only
makes you laugh," he said.

She put her hand forward and dragged it
away, tried again, and started back with a
cry. He frowned.

"Why, I'd let her take corn from my face,"
said Paul, "only she bumps a bit. She's ever
so neat. If she wasn't, look how much
ground she'd peck up every day."

He waited grimly, and watched. At last
Miriam let the bird peck from her hand. She
gave a little cry—fear, and pain because of
fear—rather pathetic. But she had done it,
and she did it again.

"There, you see," said the boy. "It doesn't
hurt, does it?"

She looked at him with dilated dark eyes.

-97-

"No," she laughed, trembling.

Then she rose and went indoors. She
seemed to be in some way resentful of the
boy.

"He thinks I'm only a common girl," she
thought, and she wanted to prove she was a
grand person like the "Lady of the Lake".

Paul found his mother ready to go home.
She smiled on her son. He took the great
bunch of flowers. Mr. and Mrs. Leivers
walked down the fields with them. The hills
were golden with evening; deep in the
woods showed the darkening purple of
bluebells. It was everywhere perfectly stiff,
save for the rustling of leaves and birds.

"But it is a beautiful place," said Mrs. Morel.

"Yes," answered Mr. Leivers; "it's a nice
little place, if only it weren't for the rabbits.
The pasture's bitten down to nothing. I
dunno if ever I s'll get the rent off it."

He clapped his hands, and the field broke
into motion near the woods, brown rabbits
hopping everywhere.

"Would you believe it!" exclaimed Mrs.
Morel.

She and Paul went on alone together.

"Wasn't it lovely, mother?" he said quietly.

A thin moon was coming out. His heart was
full of happiness till it hurt. His mother had to
chatter, because she, too, wanted to cry
with happiness.

"Now WOULDN'T I help that man!" she said.
"WOULDN'T I see to the fowls and the young
stock! And I'D learn to milk, and I'D talk with
him, and I'D plan with him. My word, if I

were his wife, the farm would be run, I
know! But there, she hasn't the strength—she
simply hasn't the strength. She ought never
to have been burdened like it, you know. I'm
sorry for her, and I'm sorry for him too. My
word, if I'D had him, I shouldn't have thought
him a bad husband! Not that she does
either; and she's very lovable."

William came home again with his
sweetheart at the Whitsuntide. He had one
week of his holidays then. It was beautiful
weather. As a rule, William and Lily and Paul
went out in the morning together for a walk.
William did not talk to his beloved much,
except to tell her things from his boyhood.
Paul talked endlessly to both of them. They
lay down, all three, in a meadow by Minton
Church. On one side, by the Castle Farm,
was a beautiful quivering screen of poplars.
Hawthorn was dropping from the hedges;
penny daisies and ragged robin were in the
field, like laughter. William, a big fellow of
twenty-three, thinner now and even a bit
gaunt, lay back in the sunshine and
dreamed, while she fingered with his hair.
Paul went gathering the big daisies. She
had taken off her hat; her hair was black as
a horse's mane. Paul came back and
threaded daisies in her jet-black hair—big
spangles of white and yellow, and just a
pink touch of ragged robin.

"Now you look like a young witch-woman,"
the boy said to her. "Doesn't she, William?"

Lily laughed. William opened his eyes and
looked at her. In his gaze was a certain
baffled look of misery and fierce
appreciation.

"Has he made a sight of me?" she asked,
laughing down on her lover.

"That he has!" said William, smiling.

-98-

He looked at her. Her beauty seemed to hurt
him. He glanced at her flower-decked head
and frowned.

"You look nice enough, if that's what you
want to know," he said.

And she walked without her hat. In a little
while William recovered, and was rather
tender to her. Coming to a bridge, he
carved her initials and his in a heart.

L. L. W.

W. M.

She watched his strong, nervous hand, with
its glistening hairs and freckles, as he
carved, and she seemed fascinated by it.

All the time there was a feeling of sadness
and warmth, and a certain tenderness in the
house, whilst William and Lily were at home.
But often he got irritable. She had brought,
for an eight-days' stay, five dresses and six
blouses.

"Oh, would you mind," she said to Annie,
"washing me these two blouses, and these
things?"

And Annie stood washing when William and
Lily went out the next morning. Mrs. Morel
was furious. And sometimes the young
man, catching a glimpse of his
sweetheart's attitude towards his sister,
hated her.

On Sunday morning she looked very
beautiful in a dress of foulard, silky and
sweeping, and blue as a jay-bird's feather,
and in a large cream hat covered with many
roses, mostly crimson. Nobody could
admire her enough. But in the evening,
when she was going out, she asked again:

"Chubby, have you got my gloves?"

"Which?" asked William.

"My new black SUEDE."

"No."

There was a hunt. She had lost them.

"Look here, mother," said William, "that's
the fourth pair she's lost since Christmas—at
five shillings a pair!"

"You only gave me TWO of them," she
remonstrated.

And in the evening, after supper, he stood
on the hearthrug whilst she sat on the sofa,
and he seemed to hate her. In the afternoon
he had left her whilst he went to see some
old friend. She had sat looking at a book.
After supper William wanted to write a letter.

"Here is your book, Lily," said Mrs. Morel.
"Would you care to go on with it for a few
minutes?"

"No, thank you," said the girl. "I will sit still."

"But it is so dull."

William scribbled irritably at a great rate. As
he sealed the envelope he said:

"Read a book! Why, she's never read a
book in her life."

"Oh, go along!" said Mrs. Morel, cross with
the exaggeration,

"It's true, mother—she hasn't," he cried,
jumping up and taking his old position on
the hearthrug. "She's never read a book in
her life."

-99-

"'Er's like me," chimed in Morel. "'Er canna
see what there is i' books, ter sit borin' your
nose in 'em for, nor more can I."

"But you shouldn't say these things," said
Mrs. Morel to her son.

"But it's true, mother—she CAN'T read. What
did you give her?"

"Well, I gave her a little thing of Annie
Swan's. Nobody wants to read dry stuff on
Sunday afternoon."

"Well, I'll bet she didn't read ten lines of it."

"You are mistaken," said his mother.

All the time Lily sat miserably on the sofa.
He turned to her swiftly.

"DID you ready any?" he asked.

"Yes, I did," she replied.

"How much?"

"l don't know how many pages."

"Tell me ONE THING you read."

She could not.

She never got beyond the second page. He
read a great deal, and had a quick, active
intelligence. She could understand nothing
but love-making and chatter. He was
accustomed to having all his thoughts sifted
through his mother's mind; so, when he
wanted companionship, and was asked in
reply to be the billing and twittering lover, he
hated his betrothed.

"You know, mother," he said, when he was
alone with her at night, "she's no idea of
money, she's so wessel-brained. When

she's paid, she'll suddenly buy such rot as
marrons glaces, and then I have to buy her
season ticket, and her extras, even her
underclothing. And she wants to get
married, and I think myself we might as well
get married next year. But at this rate—-"

"A fine mess of a marriage it would be,"
replied his mother. "I should consider it
again, my boy."

"Oh, well, I've gone too far to break off
now," he said, "and so I shall get married as
soon as I can."

"Very well, my boy. If you will, you will, and
there's no stopping you; but I tell you, I can't
sleep when I think about it."

"Oh, she'll be all right, mother. We shall
manage."

"And she lets you buy her underclothing?"
asked the mother.

"Well," he began apologetically, "she didn't
ask me; but one morning—and it WAS cold—I
found her on the station shivering, not able
to keep still; so I asked her if she was well
wrapped up. She said: 'I think so.' So I said:
'Have you got warm underthings on?' And
she said: 'No, they were cotton.' I asked her
why on earth she hadn't got something
thicker on in weather like that, and she said
because she HAD nothing. And there she
is—a bronchial subject! I HAD to take her
and get some warm things. Well, mother, I
shouldn't mind the money if we had any.
And, you know, she OUGHT to keep
enough to pay for her season-ticket; but no,
she comes to me about that, and I have to
find the money."

"It's a poor lookout," said Mrs. Morel bitterly.

He was pale, and his rugged face, that

-100-

used to be so perfectly careless and
laughing, was stamped with conflict and
despair.

"But I can't give her up now; it's gone too
far," he said. "And, besides, for SOME
things I couldn't do without her."

"My boy, remember you're taking your life in
your hands," said Mrs. Morel. "NOTHING is
as bad as a marriage that's a hopeless
failure. Mine was bad enough, God knows,
and ought to teach you something; but it
might have been worse by a long chalk."

He leaned with his back against the side of
the chimney-piece, his hands in his
pockets. He was a big, raw-boned man,
who looked as if he would go to the world's
end if he wanted to. But she saw the
despair on his face.

"I couldn't give her up now," he said.

"Well," she said, "remember there are worse
wrongs than breaking off an engagement."

"I can't give her up NOW," he said.

The clock ticked on; mother and son
remained in silence, a conflict between
them; but he would say no more. At last she
said:

"Well, go to bed, my son. You'll feel better in
the morning, and perhaps you'll know
better."

He kissed her, and went. She raked the fire.
Her heart was heavy now as it had never
been. Before, with her husband, things had
seemed to be breaking down in her, but
they did not destroy her power to live. Now
her soul felt lamed in itself. It was her hope
that was struck.

And so often William manifested the same
hatred towards his betrothed. On the last
evening at home he was railing against her.

"Well," he said, "if you don't believe me,
what she's like, would you believe she has
been confirmed three times?"

"Nonsense!" laughed Mrs. Morel.

"Nonsense or not, she HAS! That's what
confirmation means for her—a bit of a
theatrical show where she can cut a figure."

"I haven't, Mrs. Morel!" cried the girl—"I
haven't! it is not true!"

"What!" he cried, flashing round on her.
"Once in Bromley, once in Beckenham, and
once somewhere else."

"Nowhere else!" she said, in
tears—"nowhere else!"

"It WAS! And if it wasn't why were you
confirmed TWICE?"

"Once I was only fourteen, Mrs. Morel," she
pleaded, tears in her eyes.

"Yes," said Mrs. Morel; "I can quite
understand it, child. Take no notice of him.
You ought to be ashamed, William, saying
such things."

"But it's true. She's religious—she had blue
velvet Prayer-Books—and she's not as much
religion, or anything else, in her than that
table-leg. Gets confirmed three times for
show, to show herself off, and that's how
she is in EVERYTHING—EVERYTHING!"

The girl sat on the sofa, crying. She was not
strong.

"As for LOVE!" he cried, "you might as well

-101-

ask a fly to love you! It'll love settling on you—-
"

"Now, say no more," commanded Mrs.
Morel. "If you want to say these things, you
must find another place than this. I am
ashamed of you, William! Why don't you be
more manly. To do nothing but find fault with
a girl, and then pretend you're engaged to
her! "

Mrs. Morel subsided in wrath and
indignation.

William was silent, and later he repented,
kissed and comforted the girl. Yet it was
true, what he had said. He hated her.

When they were going away, Mrs. Morel
accompanied them as far as Nottingham. It
was a long way to Keston station.

"You know, mother," he said to her, "Gyp's
shallow. Nothing goes deep with her."

"William, I WISH you wouldn't say these
things," said Mrs. Morel, very uncomfortable
for the girl who walked beside her.

"But it doesn't, mother. She's very much in
love with me now, but if I died she'd have
forgotten me in three months."

Mrs. Morel was afraid. Her heart beat
furiously, hearing the quiet bitterness of her
son's last speech.

"How do you know?" she replied. "You
DON'T know, and therefore you've no right
to say such a thing."

"He's always saying these things!" cried the
girl.

"In three months after I was buried you'd
have somebody else, and I should be

forgotten," he said. "And that's your love!"

Mrs. Morel saw them into the train in
Nottingham, then she returned home.

"There's one comfort," she said to
Paul—"he'll never have any money to marry
on, that I AM sure of. And so she'll save him
that way."

So she took cheer. Matters were not yet
very desperate. She firmly believed William
would never marry his Gipsy. She waited,
and she kept Paul near to her.

All summer long William's letters had a
feverish tone; he seemed unnatural and
intense. Sometimes he was exaggeratedly
jolly, usually he was flat and bitter in his
letter.

"Ah," his mother said, "I'm afraid he's
ruining himself against that creature, who
isn't worthy of his love—no, no more than a
rag doll."

He wanted to come home. The midsummer
holiday was gone; it was a long while to
Christmas. He wrote in wild excitement,
saying he could come for Saturday and
Sunday at Goose Fair, the first week in
October.

"You are not well, my boy," said his mother,
when she saw him. She was almost in tears
at having him to herself again.

"No, I've not been well," he said. "I've
seemed to have a dragging cold all the last
month, but it's going, I think."

It was sunny October weather. He seemed
wild with joy, like a schoolboy escaped;
then again he was silent and reserved. He
was more gaunt than ever, and there was a
haggard look in his eyes.

-102-

"You are doing too much," said his mother to
him.

He was doing extra work, trying to make
some money to marry on, he said. He only
talked to his mother once on the Saturday
night; then he was sad and tender about his
beloved.

"And yet, you know, mother, for all that, if I
died she'd be broken-hearted for two
months, and then she'd start to forget me.
You'd see, she'd never come home here to
look at my grave, not even once."

"Why, William," said his mother, "you're not
going to die, so why talk about it?"

"But whether or not—-" he replied.

"And she can't help it. She is like that, and if
you choose her—well, you can't grumble,"
said his mother.

On the Sunday morning, as he was putting
his collar on:

"Look," he said to his mother, holding up his
chin, "what a rash my collar's made under
my chin!"

Just at the junction of chin and throat was a
big red inflammation.

"It ought not to do that," said his mother.
"Here, put a bit of this soothing ointment on.
You should wear different collars."

He went away on Sunday midnight,
seeming better and more solid for his two
days at home.

On Tuesday morning came a telegram from
London that he was ill. Mrs. Morel got off her
knees from washing the floor, read the
telegram, called a neighbour, went to her

landlady and borrowed a sovereign, put on
her things, and set off. She hurried to
Keston, caught an express for London in
Nottingham. She had to wait in Nottingham
nearly an hour. A small figure in her black
bonnet, she was anxiously asking the
porters if they knew how to get to Elmers
End. The journey was three hours. She sat
in her corner in a kind of stupor, never
moving. At King's Cross still no one could
tell her how to get to Elmers End. Carrying
her string bag, that contained her
nightdress, a comb and brush, she went
from person to person. At last they sent her
underground to Cannon Street.

It was six o'clock when she arrived at
William's lodging. The blinds were not
down.

"How is he?" she asked.

"No better," said the landlady.

She followed the woman upstairs. William
lay on the bed, with bloodshot eyes, his
face rather discoloured. The clothes were
tossed about, there was no fire in the room,
a glass of milk stood on the stand at his
bedside. No one had been with him.

"Why, my son!" said the mother bravely.

He did not answer. He looked at her, but did
not see her. Then he began to say, in a dull
voice, as if repeating a letter from dictation:
"Owing to a leakage in the hold of this
vessel, the sugar had set, and become
converted into rock. It needed hacking—-"

He was quite unconscious. It had been his
business to examine some such cargo of
sugar in the Port of London.

"How long has he been like this?" the
mother asked the landlady.

-103-

"He got home at six o'clock on Monday
morning, and he seemed to sleep all day;
then in the night we heard him talking, and
this morning he asked for you. So I wired,
and we fetched the doctor."

"Will you have a fire made?"

Mrs. Morel tried to soothe her son, to keep
him still.

The doctor came. It was pneumonia, and,
he said, a peculiar erysipelas, which had
started under the chin where the collar
chafed, and was spreading over the face.
He hoped it would not get to the brain.

Mrs. Morel settled down to nurse. She
prayed for William, prayed that he would
recognise her. But the young man's face
grew more discoloured. In the night she
struggled with him. He raved, and raved,
and would not come to consciousness. At
two o'clock, in a dreadful paroxysm, he
died.

Mrs. Morel sat perfectly still for an hour in the
lodging bedroom; then she roused the
household.

At six o'clock, with the aid of the
charwoman, she laid him out; then she went
round the dreary London village to the
registrar and the doctor.

At nine o'clock to the cottage on Scargill
Street came another wire:

"William died last night. Let father come,
bring money."

Annie, Paul, and Arthur were at home; Mr.
Morel was gone to work. The three children
said not a word. Annie began to whimper
with fear; Paul set off for his father.

It was a beautiful day. At Brinsley pit the
white steam melted slowly in the sunshine
of a soft blue sky; the wheels of the
headstocks twinkled high up; the screen,
shuffling its coal into the trucks, made a
busy noise.

"I want my father; he's got to go to London,"
said the boy to the first man he met on the
bank.

"Tha wants Walter Morel? Go in theer an' tell
Joe Ward."

Paul went into the little top office.

"I want my father; he's got to go to London."

"Thy feyther? Is he down? What's his
name?"

"Mr. Morel."

"What, Walter? Is owt amiss?"

"He's got to go to London."

The man went to the telephone and rang up
the bottom office.

"Walter Morel's wanted, number 42, Hard.
Summat's amiss; there's his lad here."

Then he turned round to Paul.

"He'll be up in a few minutes," he said.

Paul wandered out to the pit-top. He
watched the chair come up, with its wagon
of coal. The great iron cage sank back on its
rest, a full carfle was hauled off, an empty
tram run on to the chair, a bell ting'ed
somewhere, the chair heaved, then
dropped like a stone.

Paul did not realise William was dead; it

-104-

was impossible, with such a bustle going
on. The puller-off swung the small truck on
to the turn-table, another man ran with it
along the bank down the curving lines.

"And William is dead, and my mother's in
London, and what will she be doing?" the
boy asked himself, as if it were a
conundrum.

He watched chair after chair come up, and
still no father. At last, standing beside a
wagon, a man's form! the chair sank on its
rests, Morel stepped off. He was slightly
lame from an accident.

"Is it thee, Paul? Is 'e worse?"

"You've got to go to London."

The two walked off the pit-bank, where
men were watching curiously. As they came
out and went along the railway, with the
sunny autumn field on one side and a wall of
trucks on the other, Morel said in a
frightened voice:

"'E's niver gone, child?"

"Yes."

"When wor't?"

"Last night. We had a telegram from my
mother."

Morel walked on a few strides, then leaned
up against a truck-side, his hand over his
eyes. He was not crying. Paul stood looking
round, waiting. On the weighing machine a
truck trundled slowly. Paul saw everything,
except his father leaning against the truck
as if he were tired.

Morel had only once before been to London.
He set off, scared and peaked, to help his

wife. That was on Tuesday. The children
were left alone in the house. Paul went to
work, Arthur went to school, and Annie had
in a friend to be with her.

On Saturday night, as Paul was turning the
corner, coming home from Keston, he saw
his mother and father, who had come to
Sethley Bridge Station. They were walking
in silence in the dark, tired, straggling apart.
The boy waited.

"Mother!" he said, in the darkness.

Mrs. Morel's small figure seemed not to
observe. He spoke again.

"Paul!" she said, uninterestedly.

She let him kiss her, but she seemed
unaware of him.

In the house she was the same—small, white,
and mute. She noticed nothing, she said
nothing, only:

"The coffin will be here to-night, Walter.
You'd better see about some help." Then,
turning to the children: "We're bringing him
home."

Then she relapsed into the same mute
looking into space, her hands folded on her
lap. Paul, looking at her, felt he could not
breathe. The house was dead silent.

"I went to work, mother," he said plaintively.

"Did you?" she answered, dully.

After half an hour Morel, troubled and
bewildered, came in again.

"Wheer s'll we ha'e him when he
DOEScome?" he asked his wife.

-105-

"In the front-room."

"Then I'd better shift th' table?"

"Yes."

"An' ha'e him across th' chairs?"

"You know there—-Yes, I suppose so."

Morel and Paul went, with a candle, into the
parlour. There was no gas there. The father
unscrewed the top of the big mahogany oval
table, and cleared the middle of the room;
then he arranged six chairs opposite each
other, so that the coffin could stand on their
beds.

"You niver seed such a length as he is!" said
the miner, and watching anxiously as he
worked.

Paul went to the bay window and looked
out. The ash-tree stood monstrous and
black in front of the wide darkness. It was a
faintly luminous night. Paul went back to his
mother.

At ten o'clock Morel called:

"He's here!"

Everyone started. There was a noise of
unbarring and unlocking the front door,
which opened straight from the night into the
room.

"Bring another candle," called Morel.

Annie and Arthur went. Paul followed with
his mother. He stood with his arm round her
waist in the inner doorway. Down the
middle of the cleared room waited six
chairs, face to face. In the window, against
the lace curtains, Arthur held up one candle,
and by the open door, against the night,

Annie stood leaning forward, her brass
candlestick glittering.

There was the noise of wheels. Outside in
the darkness of the street below Paul could
see horses and a black vehicle, one lamp,
and a few pale faces; then some men,
miners, all in their shirt-sleeves, seemed to
struggle in the obscurity. Presently two men
appeared, bowed beneath a great weight. It
was Morel and his neighbour.

"Steady!" called Morel, out of breath.

He and his fellow mounted the steep garden
step, heaved into the candlelight with their
gleaming coffin-end. Limbs of other men
were seen struggling behind. Morel and
Burns, in front, staggered; the great dark
weight swayed.

"Steady, steady!" cried Morel, as if in pain.

All the six bearers were up in the small
garden, holding the great coffin aloft. There
were three more steps to the door. The
yellow lamp of the carriage shone alone
down the black road.

"Now then!" said Morel.

The coffin swayed, the men began to mount
the three steps with their load. Annie's
candle flickered, and she whimpered as the
first men appeared, and the limbs and
bowed heads of six men struggled to climb
into the room, bearing the coffin that rode
like sorrow on their living flesh.

"Oh, my son—my son!" Mrs. Morel sang
softly, and each time the coffin swung to the
unequal climbing of the men: "Oh, my
son—my son—my son!"

"Mother!" Paul whimpered, his hand round
her waist.

-106-

She did not hear.

"Oh, my son—my son!" she repeated.

Paul saw drops of sweat fall from his
father's brow. Six men were in the room—six
coatless men, with yielding, struggling
limbs, filling the room and knocking against
the furniture. The coffin veered, and was
gently lowered on to the chairs. The sweat
fell from Morel's face on its boards.

"My word, he's a weight!" said a man, and
the five miners sighed, bowed, and,
trembling with the struggle, descended the
steps again, closing the door behind them.

The family was alone in the parlour with the
great polished box. William, when laid out,
was six feet four inches long. Like a
monument lay the bright brown, ponderous
coffin. Paul thought it would never be got out
of the room again. His mother was stroking
the polished wood.

They buried him on the Monday in the little
cemetery on the hillside that looks over the
fields at the big church and the houses. It
was sunny, and the white chrysanthemums
frilled themselves in the warmth.

Mrs. Morel could not be persuaded, after
this, to talk and take her old bright interest in
life. She remained shut off. All the way
home in the train she had said to herself : "If
only it could have been me! "

When Paul came home at night he found his
mother sitting, her day's work done, with
hands folded in her lap upon her coarse
apron. She always used to have changed
her dress and put on a black apron, before.
Now Annie set his supper, and his mother
sat looking blankly in front of her, her mouth
shut tight. Then he beat his brains for news
to tell her.

"Mother, Miss Jordan was down to-day,
and she said my sketch of a colliery at work
was beautiful."

But Mrs. Morel took no notice. Night after
night he forced himself to tell her things,
although she did not listen. It drove him
almost insane to have her thus. At last:

"What's a-matter, mother?" he asked.

She did not hear.

"What's a-matter?" he persisted. "Mother,
what's a-matter?"

"You know what's the matter," she said
irritably, turning away.

The lad—he was sixteen years old—went to
bed drearily. He was cut off and wretched
through October, November and
December. His mother tried, but she could
not rouse herself. She could only brood on
her dead son; he had been let to die so
cruelly.

At last, on December 23, with his five
shillings Christmas-box in his pocket, Paul
wandered blindly home. His mother looked
at him, and her heart stood still.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I'm badly, mother!" he replied. "Mr. Jordan
gave me five shillings for a Christmas-box!"

He handed it to her with trembling hands.
She put it on the table.

"You aren't glad!" he reproached her; but he
trembled violently.

"Where hurts you?" she said, unbuttoning his
overcoat.

-107-

It was the old question.

"I feel badly, mother."

She undressed him and put him to bed. He
had pneumonia dangerously, the doctor
said.

"Might he never have had it if I'd kept him at
home, not let him go to Nottingham?" was
one of the first things she asked.

"He might not have been so bad," said the
doctor.

Mrs. Morel stood condemned on her own
ground.

"I should have watched the living, not the
dead," she told herself.

Paul was very ill. His mother lay in bed at
nights with him; they could not afford a
nurse. He grew worse, and the crisis
approached. One night he tossed into
consciousness in the ghastly, sickly feeling
of dissolution, when all the cells in the body
seem in intense irritability to be breaking
down, and consciousness makes a last
flare of struggle, like madness.

"I s'll die, mother!" be cried, heaving for
breath on the pillow.

She lifted him up, crying in a small voice:

"Oh, my son—my son!"

That brought him to. He realised her. His
whole will rose up and arrested him. He put
his head on her breast, and took ease of her
for love.

"For some things," said his aunt, "it was a
good thing Paul was ill that Christmas. I
believe it saved his mother."

Paul was in bed for seven weeks. He got up
white and fragile. His father had bought him
a pot of scarlet and gold tulips. They used to
flame in the window in the March sunshine
as he sat on the sofa chattering to his
mother. The two knitted together in perfect
intimacy. Mrs. Morel's life now rooted itself
in Paul.

William had been a prophet. Mrs. Morel had
a little present and a letter from Lily at
Christmas. Mrs. Morel's sister had a letter
at the New Year.

"I was at a ball last night. Some delightful
people were there, and I enjoyed myself
thoroughly," said the letter. "I had every
dance—did not sit out one."

Mrs. Morel never heard any more of her.

Morel and his wife were gentle with each
other for some time after the death of their
son. He would go into a kind of daze,
staring wide-eyed and blank across the
room. Then he got up suddenly and hurried
out to the Three Spots, returning in his
normal state. But never in his life would he
go for a walk up Shepstone, past the office
where his son had worked, and he always
avoided the cemetery.

Chapter 7: LAD-AND-GIRL LOVE

PAUL had been many times up to Willey
Farm during the autumn. He was friends
with the two youngest boys. Edgar the
eldest, would not condescend at first. And
Miriam also refused to be approached. She
was afraid of being set at nought, as by her
own brothers. The girl was romantic in her
soul. Everywhere was a Walter Scott
heroine being loved by men with helmets or
with plumes in their caps. She herself was
something of a princess turned into a
swine-girl in her own imagination. And she

-108-

was afraid lest this boy, who, nevertheless,
looked something like a Walter Scott hero,
who could paint and speak French, and
knew what algebra meant, and who went by
train to Nottingham every day, might
consider her simply as the swine-girl,
unable to perceive the princess beneath; so
she held aloof.

Her great companion was her mother. They
were both brown-eyed, and inclined to be
mystical, such women as treasure religion
inside them, breathe it in their nostrils, and
see the whole of life in a mist thereof. So to
Miriam, Christ and God made one great
figure, which she loved tremblingly and
passionately when a tremendous sunset
burned out the western sky, and Ediths, and
Lucys, and Rowenas, Brian de Bois
Guilberts, Rob Roys, and Guy Mannerings,
rustled the sunny leaves in the morning, or
sat in her bedroom aloft, alone, when it
snowed. That was life to her. For the rest,
she drudged in the house, which work she
would not have minded had not her clean
red floor been mucked up immediately by
the trampling farm-boots of her brothers.
She madly wanted her little brother of four to
let her swathe him and stifle him in her love;
she went to church reverently, with bowed
head, and quivered in anguish from the
vulgarity of the other choir-girls and from the
common-sounding voice of the curate; she
fought with her brothers, whom she
considered brutal louts; and she held not her
father in too high esteem because he did
not carry any mystical ideals cherished in
his heart, but only wanted to have as easy a
time as he could, and his meals when he
was ready for them.

She hated her position as swine-girl. She
wanted to be considered. She wanted to
learn, thinking that if she could read, as Paul
said he could read, "Colomba", or the
"Voyage autour de ma Chambre", the world

would have a different face for her and a
deepened respect. She could not be
princess by wealth or standing. So she was
mad to have learning whereon to pride
herself. For she was different from other
folk, and must not be scooped up among
the common fry. Learning was the only
distinction to which she thought to aspire.

Her beauty—that of a shy, wild, quiveringly
sensitive thing—seemed nothing to her. Even
her soul, so strong for rhapsody, was not
enough. She must have something to
reinforce her pride, because she felt
different from other people. Paul she eyed
rather wistfully. On the whole, she scorned
the male sex. But here was a new
specimen, quick, light, graceful, who could
be gentle and who could be sad, and who
was clever, and who knew a lot, and who
had a death in the family. The boy's poor
morsel of learning exalted him almost sky-
high in her esteem. Yet she tried hard to
scorn him, because he would not see in her
the princess but only the swine-girl. And he
scarcely observed her.

Then he was so ill, and she felt he would be
weak. Then she would be stronger than he.
Then she could love him. If she could be
mistress of him in his weakness, take care
of him, if he could depend on her, if she
could, as it were, have him in her arms, how
she would love him!

As soon as the skies brightened and plum-
blossom was out, Paul drove off in the
milkman's heavy float up to Willey Farm. Mr.
Leivers shouted in a kindly fashion at the
boy, then clicked to the horse as they
climbed the hill slowly, in the freshness of
the morning. White clouds went on their way,
crowding to the back of the hills that were
rousing in the springtime. The water of
Nethermere lay below, very blue against the
seared meadows and the thorn-trees.

-109-

It was four and a half miles' drive. Tiny buds
on the hedges, vivid as copper-green,
were opening into rosettes; and thrushes
called, and blackbirds shrieked and
scolded. It was a new, glamorous world.

Miriam, peeping through the kitchen
window, saw the horse walk through the big
white gate into the farmyard that was
backed by the oak-wood, still bare. Then a
youth in a heavy overcoat climbed down. He
put up his hands for the whip and the rug that
the good-looking, ruddy farmer handed
down to him.

Miriam appeared in the doorway. She was
nearly sixteen, very beautiful, with her warm
colouring, her gravity, her eyes dilating
suddenly like an ecstasy.

"I say," said Paul, turning shyly aside, "your
daffodils are nearly out. Isn't it early? But
don't they look cold?"

"Cold!" said Miriam, in her musical,
caressing voice.

"The green on their buds—-" and he faltered
into silence timidly.

"Let me take the rug," said Miriam over-
gently.

"I can carry it," he answered, rather injured.
But he yielded it to her.

Then Mrs. Leivers appeared.

"I'm sure you're tired and cold," she said.
"Let me take your coat. It IS heavy. You
mustn't walk far in it."

She helped him off with his coat. He was
quite unused to such attention. She was
almost smothered under its weight.

"Why, mother," laughed the farmer as he
passed through the kitchen, swinging the
great milk-churns, "you've got almost more
than you can manage there."

She beat up the sofa cushions for the youth.

The kitchen was very small and irregular.
The farm had been originally a labourer's
cottage. And the furniture was old and
battered. But Paul loved it—loved the sack-
bag that formed the hearthrug, and the funny
little corner under the stairs, and the small
window deep in the corner, through which,
bending a little, be could see the plum trees
in the back garden and the lovely round hills
beyond.

"Won't you lie down?" said Mrs. Leivers.

"Oh no; I'm not tired," he said. "Isn't it lovely
coming out, don't you think? I saw a sloe-
bush in blossom and a lot of celandines. I'm
glad it's sunny."

"Can I give you anything to eat or to drink?"

"No, thank you."

"How's your mother?"

"I think she's tired now. I think she's had too
much to do. Perhaps in a little while she'll go
to Skegness with me. Then she'll be able to
rest. I s'll be glad if she can."

"Yes," replied Mrs. Leivers. "It's a wonder
she isn't ill herself."

Miriam was moving about preparing dinner.
Paul watched everything that happened. His
face was pale and thin, but his eyes were
quick and bright with life as ever. He
watched the strange, almost rhapsodic way
in which the girl moved about, carrying a
great stew-jar to the oven, or looking in the

-110-

saucepan. The atmosphere was different
from that of his own home, where
everything seemed so ordinary. When Mr.
Leivers called loudly outside to the horse,
that was reaching over to feed on the rose-
bushes in the garden, the girl started,
looked round with dark eyes, as if
something had come breaking in on her
world. There was a sense of silence inside
the house and out. Miriam seemed as in
some dreamy tale, a maiden in bondage,
her spirit dreaming in a land far away and
magical. And her discoloured, old blue
frock and her broken boots seemed only
like the romantic rags of King Cophetua's
beggar-maid.

She suddenly became aware of his keen
blue eyes upon her, taking her all in. Instantly
her broken boots and her frayed old frock
hurt her. She resented his seeing
everything. Even he knew that her stocking
was not pulled up. She went into the
scullery, blushing deeply. And afterwards
her hands trembled slightly at her work. She
nearly dropped all she handled. When her
inside dream was shaken, her body
quivered with trepidation. She resented that
he saw so much.

Mrs. Leivers sat for some time talking to the
boy, although she was needed at her work.
She was too polite to leave him. Presently
she excused herself and rose. After a while
she looked into the tin saucepan.

"Oh DEAR, Miriam," she cried, "these
potatoes have boiled dry!"

Miriam started as if she had been stung.

"HAVE they, mother?" she cried.

"I shouldn't care, Miriam," said the mother,
"if I hadn't trusted them to you." She peered
into the pan.

The girl stiffened as if from a blow. Her dark
eyes dilated; she remained standing in the
same spot.

"Well," she answered, gripped tight in self-
conscious shame, "I'm sure I looked at them
five minutes since."

"Yes," said the mother, "I know it's easily
done."

"They're not much burned," said Paul. "It
doesn't matter, does it?"

Mrs. Leivers looked at the youth with her
brown, hurt eyes.

"It wouldn't matter but for the boys," she said
to him. "Only Miriam knows what a trouble
they make if the potatoes are 'caught'."

"Then," thought Paul to himself, "you
shouldn't let them make a trouble."

After a while Edgar came in. He wore
leggings, and his boots were covered with
earth. He was rather small, rather formal,
for a farmer. He glanced at Paul, nodded to
him distantly, and said:

"Dinner ready?"

"Nearly, Edgar," replied the mother
apologetically.

"I'm ready for mine," said the young man,
taking up the newspaper and reading.
Presently the rest of the family trooped in.
Dinner was served. The meal went rather
brutally. The over-gentleness and
apologetic tone of the mother brought out all
the brutality of manners in the sons. Edgar
tasted the potatoes, moved his mouth
quickly like a rabbit, looked indignantly at
his mother, and said:

-111-

"These potatoes are burnt, mother."

"Yes, Edgar. I forgot them for a minute.
Perhaps you'll have bread if you can't eat
them."

Edgar looked in anger across at Miriam.

"What was Miriam doing that she couldn't
attend to them?" he said.

Miriam looked up. Her mouth opened, her
dark eyes blazed and winced, but she said
nothing. She swallowed her anger and her
shame, bowing her dark head.

"I'm sure she was trying hard," said the
mother.

"She hasn't got sense even to boil the
potatoes," said Edgar. "What is she kept at
home for?"

"On'y for eating everything that's left in th'
pantry," said Maurice.

"They don't forget that potato-pie against
our Miriam," laughed the father.

She was utterly humiliated. The mother sat
in silence, suffering, like some saint out of
place at the brutal board.

It puzzled Paul. He wondered vaguely why
all this intense feeling went running because
of a few burnt potatoes. The mother exalted
everything—even a bit of housework—to the
plane of a religious trust. The sons resented
this; they felt themselves cut away
underneath, and they answered with
brutality and also with a sneering
superciliousness.

Paul was just opening out from childhood
into manhood. This atmosphere, where
everything took a religious value, came with

a subtle fascination to him. There was
something in the air. His own mother was
logical. Here there was something different,
something he loved, something that at times
he hated.

Miriam quarrelled with her brothers fiercely.
Later in the afternoon, when they had gone
away again, her mother said:

"You disappointed me at dinner-time,
Miriam."

The girl dropped her head.

"They are such BRUTES!" she suddenly
cried, looking up with flashing eyes.

"But hadn't you promised not to answer
them?" said the mother. "And I believed in
you. I CAN'T stand it when you wrangle."

"But they're so hateful!" cried Miriam,
"and—and LOW."

"Yes, dear. But how often have I asked you
not to answer Edgar back? Can't you let
him say what he likes?"

"But why should he say what he likes?"

"Aren't you strong enough to bear it, Miriam,
if even for my sake? Are you so weak that
you must wrangle with them?"

Mrs. Leivers stuck unflinchingly to this
doctrine of "the other cheek". She could not
instil it at all into the boys. With the girls she
succeeded better, and Miriam was the child
of her heart. The boys loathed the other
cheek when it was presented to them.
Miriam was often sufficiently lofty to turn it.
Then they spat on her and hated her. But she
walked in her proud humility, living within
herself.

-112-

There was always this feeling of jangle and
discord in the Leivers family. Although the
boys resented so bitterly this eternal appeal
to their deeper feelings of resignation and
proud humility, yet it had its effect on them.
They could not establish between
themselves and an outsider just the
ordinary human feeling and unexaggerated
friendship; they were always restless for the
something deeper. Ordinary folk seemed
shallow to them, trivial and inconsiderable.
And so they were unaccustomed, painfully
uncouth in the simplest social intercourse,
suffering, and yet insolent in their
superiority. Then beneath was the yearning
for the soul-intimacy to which they could not
attain because they were too dumb, and
every approach to close connection was
blocked by their clumsy contempt of other
people. They wanted genuine intimacy, but
they could not get even normally near to
anyone, because they scorned to take the
first steps, they scorned the triviality which
forms common human intercourse.

Paul fell under Mrs. Leivers's spell.
Everything had a religious and intensified
meaning when he was with her. His soul,
hurt, highly developed, sought her as if for
nourishment. Together they seemed to sift
the vital fact from an experience.

Miriam was her mother's daughter. In the
sunshine of the afternoon mother and
daughter went down the fields with him.
They looked for nests. There was a jenny
wren's in the hedge by the orchard.

"I DO want you to see this," said Mrs.
Leivers.

He crouched down and carefully put his
finger through the thorns into the round door
of the nest.

"It's almost as if you were feeling inside the

live body of the bird," he said, "it's so warm.
They say a bird makes its nest round like a
cup with pressing its breast on it. Then how
did it make the ceiling round, I wonder?"

The nest seemed to start into life for the two
women. After that, Miriam came to see it
every day. It seemed so close to her. Again,
going down the hedgeside with the girl, he
noticed the celandines, scalloped splashes
of gold, on the side of the ditch.

"I like them," he said, "when their petals go
flat back with the sunshine. They seemed to
be pressing themselves at the sun."

And then the celandines ever after drew her
with a little spell. Anthropomorphic as she
was, she stimulated him into appreciating
things thus, and then they lived for her. She
seemed to need things kindling in her
imagination or in her soul before she felt
she had them. And she was cut off from
ordinary life by her religious intensity which
made the world for her either a nunnery
garden or a paradise, where sin and
knowledge were not, or else an ugly, cruel
thing.

So it was in this atmosphere of subtle
intimacy, this meeting in their common
feeling for something in Nature, that their
love started.

Personally, he was a long time before he
realized her. For ten months he had to stay
at home after his illness. For a while he went
to Skegness with his mother, and was
perfectly happy. But even from the seaside
he wrote long letters to Mrs. Leivers about
the shore and the sea. And he brought back
his beloved sketches of the flat Lincoln
coast, anxious for them to see. Almost they
would interest the Leivers more than they
interested his mother. It was not his art Mrs.
Morel cared about; it was himself and his

-113-

achievement. But Mrs. Leivers and her
children were almost his disciples. They
kindled him and made him glow to his work,
whereas his mother's influence was to
make him quietly determined, patient,
dogged, unwearied.

He soon was friends with the boys, whose
rudeness was only superficial. They had all,
when they could trust themselves, a strange
gentleness and lovableness.

"Will you come with me on to the fallow?"
asked Edgar, rather hesitatingly.

Paul went joyfully, and spent the afternoon
helping to hoe or to single turnips with his
friend. He used to lie with the three brothers
in the hay piled up in the barn and tell them
about Nottingham and about Jordan's. In
return, they taught him to milk, and let him do
little jobs—chopping hay or pulping
turnips—just as much as he liked. At
midsummer he worked all through hay-
harvest with them, and then he loved them.
The family was so cut off from the world
actually. They seemed, somehow, like "les
derniers fils d'une race epuisee". Though
the lads were strong and healthy, yet they
had all that over-sensitiveness and
hanging-back which made them so lonely,
yet also such close, delicate friends once
their intimacy was won. Paul loved them
dearly, and they him.

Miriam came later. But he had come into her
life before she made any mark on his. One
dull afternoon, when the men were on the
land and the rest at school, only Miriam and
her mother at home, the girl said to him,
after having hesitated for some time:

"Have you seen the swing?"

"No," he answered. "Where?"

"In the cowshed," she replied.

She always hesitated to offer or to show
him anything. Men have such different
standards of worth from women, and her
dear things—the valuable things to her—her
brothers had so often mocked or flouted.

"Come on, then," he replied, jumping up.

There were two cowsheds, one on either
side of the barn. In the lower, darker shed
there was standing for four cows. Hens flew
scolding over the manger-wall as the youth
and girl went forward for the great thick
rope which hung from the beam in the
darkness overhead, and was pushed back
over a peg in the wall.

"It's something like a rope!" he exclaimed
appreciatively; and he sat down on it,
anxious to try it. Then immediately he rose.

"Come on, then, and have first go," he said
to the girl.

"See," she answered, going into the barn,
"we put some bags on the seat"; and she
made the swing comfortable for him. That
gave her pleasure. He held the rope.

"Come on, then," he said to her.

"No, I won't go first," she answered.

She stood aside in her still, aloof fashion.

"Why?"

"You go," she pleaded.

Almost for the first time in her life she had
the pleasure of giving up to a man, of
spoiling him. Paul looked at her.

"All right," he said, sitting down. "Mind out!"

-114-

He set off with a spring, and in a moment
was flying through the air, almost out of the
door of the shed, the upper half of which
was open, showing outside the drizzling
rain, the filthy yard, the cattle standing
disconsolate against the black cartshed,
and at the back of all the grey-green wall of
the wood. She stood below in her crimson
tam-o'-shanter and watched. He looked
down at her, and she saw his blue eyes
sparkling.

"It's a treat of a swing," he said.

"Yes."

He was swinging through the air, every bit
of him swinging, like a bird that swoops for
joy of movement. And he looked down at
her. Her crimson cap hung over her dark
curls, her beautiful warm face, so still in a
kind of brooding, was lifted towards him. It
was dark and rather cold in the shed.
Suddenly a swallow came down from the
high roof and darted out of the door.

"I didn't know a bird was watching," he
called.

He swung negligently. She could feel him
falling and lifting through the air, as if he
were lying on some force.

"Now I'll die," he said, in a detached,
dreamy voice, as though he were the dying
motion of the swing. She watched him,
fascinated. Suddenly he put on the brake
and jumped out.

"I've had a long turn," he said. "But it's a
treat of a swing—it's a real treat of a swing!"

Miriam was amused that he took a swing so
seriously and felt so warmly over it.

"No; you go on," she said.

"Why, don't you want one?" he asked,
astonished.

"Well, not much. I'll have just a little."

She sat down, whilst he kept the bags in
place for her.

"It's so ripping!" he said, setting her in
motion. "Keep your heels up, or they'll bang
the manger wall."

She felt the accuracy with which he caught
her, exactly at the right moment, and the
exactly proportionate strength of his thrust,
and she was afraid. Down to her bowels
went the hot wave of fear. She was in his
hands. Again, firm and inevitable came the
thrust at the right moment. She gripped the
rope, almost swooning.

"Ha!" she laughed in fear. "No higher!"

"But you're not a BIT high," he remonstrated.

"But no higher."

He heard the fear in her voice, and
desisted. Her heart melted in hot pain when
the moment came for him to thrust her
forward again. But he left her alone. She
began to breathe.

"Won't you really go any farther?" he asked.
"Should I keep you there?"

"No; let me go by myself," she answered.

He moved aside and watched her.

"Why, you're scarcely moving," he said.

She laughed slightly with shame, and in a
moment got down.

"They say if you can swing you won't be

-115-

sea-sick," he said, as he mounted again. "I
don't believe I should ever be sea-sick."

Away he went. There was something
fascinating to her in him. For the moment he
was nothing but a piece of swinging stuff;
not a particle of him that did not swing. She
could never lose herself so, nor could her
brothers. It roused a warmth in her. It was
almost as if he were a flame that had lit a
warmth in her whilst he swung in the middle
air.

And gradually the intimacy with the family
concentrated for Paul on three persons—the
mother, Edgar, and Miriam. To the mother
he went for that sympathy and that appeal
which seemed to draw him out. Edgar was
his very close friend. And to Miriam he more
or less condescended, because she
seemed so humble.

But the girl gradually sought him out. If he
brought up his sketch-book, it was she who
pondered longest over the last picture. Then
she would look up at him. Suddenly, her
dark eyes alight like water that shakes with
a stream of gold in the dark, she would ask:

"Why do I like this so?"

Always something in his breast shrank from
these close, intimate, dazzled looks of hers.

"Why DO you?" he asked.

"I don't know. It seems so true."

"It's because—it's because there is scarcely
any shadow in it; it's more shimmery, as if
I'd painted the shimmering protoplasm in
the leaves and everywhere, and not the
stiffness of the shape. That seems dead to
me. Only this shimmeriness is the real living.
The shape is a dead crust. The shimmer is
inside really."

And she, with her little finger in her mouth,
would ponder these sayings. They gave her
a feeling of life again, and vivified things
which had meant nothing to her. She
managed to find some meaning in his
struggling, abstract speeches. And they
were the medium through which she came
distinctly at her beloved objects.

Another day she sat at sunset whilst he was
painting some pine-trees which caught the
red glare from the west. He had been quiet.

"There you are!" he said suddenly. "I wanted
that. Now, look at them and tell me, are they
pine trunks or are they red coals, standing-
up pieces of fire in that darkness? There's
God's burning bush for you, that burned not
away."

Miriam looked, and was frightened. But the
pine trunks were wonderful to her, and
distinct. He packed his box and rose.
Suddenly he looked at her.

"Why are you always sad?" he asked her.

"Sad!" she exclaimed, looking up at him
with startled, wonderful brown eyes.

"Yes," he replied. "You are always sad."

"I am not—oh, not a bit!" she cried.

"But even your joy is like a flame coming off
of sadness," he persisted. "You're never
jolly, or even just all right."

"No," she pondered. "I wonder—why?"

"Because you're not; because you're
different inside, like a pine-tree, and then
you flare up; but you're not just like an
ordinary tree, with fidgety leaves and jolly—-
"

-116-

He got tangled up in his own speech; but
she brooded on it, and he had a strange,
roused sensation, as if his feelings were
new. She got so near him. It was a strange
stimulant.

Then sometimes he hated her. Her
youngest brother was only five. He was a
frail lad, with immense brown eyes in his
quaint fragile face—one of Reynolds's "Choir
of Angels", with a touch of elf. Often Miriam
kneeled to the child and drew him to her.

"Eh, my Hubert!" she sang, in a voice heavy
and surcharged with love. "Eh, my Hubert!"

And, folding him in her arms, she swayed
slightly from side to side with love, her face
half lifted, her eyes half closed, her voice
drenched with love.

"Don't!" said the child, uneasy—"don't,
Miriam!"

"Yes; you love me, don't you?" she
murmured deep in her throat, almost as if
she were in a trance, and swaying also as if
she were swooned in an ecstasy of love.

"Don't!" repeated the child, a frown on his
clear brow.

"You love me, don't you?" she murmured.

"What do you make such a FUSS for?" cried
Paul, all in suffering because of her extreme
emotion. "Why can't you be ordinary with
him?"

She let the child go, and rose, and said
nothing. Her intensity, which would leave no
emotion on a normal plane, irritated the
youth into a frenzy. And this fearful, naked
contact of her on small occasions shocked
him. He was used to his mother's reserve.
And on such occasions he was thankful in

his heart and soul that he had his mother, so
sane and wholesome.

All the life of Miriam's body was in her eyes,
which were usually dark as a dark church,
but could flame with light like a
conflagration. Her face scarcely ever
altered from its look of brooding. She might
have been one of the women who went with
Mary when Jesus was dead. Her body was
not flexible and living. She walked with a
swing, rather heavily, her head bowed
forward, pondering. She was not clumsy,
and yet none of her movements seemed
quite THE movement. Often, when wiping
the dishes, she would stand in
bewilderment and chagrin because she had
pulled in two halves a cup or a tumbler. It
was as if, in her fear and self-mistrust, she
put too much strength into the effort. There
was no looseness or abandon about her.
Everything was gripped stiff with intensity,
and her effort, overcharged, closed in on
itself.

She rarely varied from her swinging,
forward, intense walk. Occasionally she ran
with Paul down the fields. Then her eyes
blazed naked in a kind of ecstasy that
frightened him. But she was physically
afraid. If she were getting over a stile, she
gripped his hands in a little hard anguish,
and began to lose her presence of mind.
And he could not persuade her to jump from
even a small height. Her eyes dilated,
became exposed and palpitating.

"No!" she cried, half laughing in terror—"no!"

"You shall!" he cried once, and, jerking her
forward, he brought her falling from the
fence. But her wild "Ah!" of pain, as if she
were losing consciousness, cut him. She
landed on her feet safely, and afterwards
had courage in this respect.

-117-

She was very much dissatisfied with her lot.

"Don't you like being at home?" Paul asked
her, surprised.

"Who would?" she answered, low and
intense. "What is it? I'm all day cleaning what
the boys make just as bad in five minutes. I
don't WANT to be at home."

"What do you want, then?"

"I want to do something. I want a chance like
anybody else. Why should 1, because I'm a
girl, be kept at home and not allowed to be
anything? What chance HAVE I?"

"Chance of what?"

"Of knowing anything—of learning, of doing
anything. It's not fair, because I'm a
woman."

She seemed very bitter. Paul wondered. In
his own home Annie was almost glad to be
a girl. She had not so much responsibility;
things were lighter for her. She never
wanted to be other than a girl. But Miriam
almost fiercely wished she were a man.
And yet she hated men at the same time.

"But it's as well to be a woman as a man,"
he said, frowning.

"Ha! Is it? Men have everything."

"I should think women ought to be as glad to
be women as men are to be men," he
answered.

"No!"—she shook her head—"no! Everything
the men have."

"But what do you want?" he asked.

"I want to learn. Why SHOULD it be that I

know nothing?"

"What! such as mathematics and French?"

"Why SHOULDN'T I know mathematics?
Yes!" she cried, her eye expanding in a kind
of defiance.

"Well, you can learn as much as I know," he
said. "I'll teach you, if you like."

Her eyes dilated. She mistrusted him as
teacher.

"Would you?" he asked.

Her head had dropped, and she was
sucking her finger broodingly.

"Yes," she said hesitatingly.

He used to tell his mother all these things.

"I'm going to teach Miriam algebra," he
said.

"Well," replied Mrs. Morel, "I hope she'll get
fat on it."

When he went up to the farm on the Monday
evening, it was drawing twilight. Miriam
was just sweeping up the kitchen, and was
kneeling at the hearth when he entered.
Everyone was out but her. She looked round
at him, flushed, her dark eyes shining, her
fine hair falling about her face.

"Hello!" she said, soft and musical. "I knew it
was you."

"How?"

"I knew your step. Nobody treads so quick
and firm."

He sat down, sighing.

-118-

"Ready to do some algebra?" he asked,
drawing a little book from his pocket.

"But—-"

He could feel her backing away.

"You said you wanted," he insisted.

"To-night, though?" she faltered.

"But I came on purpose. And if you want to
learn it, you must begin."

She took up her ashes in the dustpan and
looked at him, half tremulously, laughing.

"Yes, but to-night! You see, I haven't thought
of it."

"Well, my goodness! Take the ashes and
come."

He went and sat on the stone bench in the
back-yard, where the big milk-cans were
standing, tipped up, to air. The men were in
the cowsheds. He could hear the little sing-
song of the milk spurting into the pails.
Presently she came, bringing some big
greenish apples.

"You know you like them," she said.

He took a bite.

"Sit down," he said, with his mouth full.

She was short-sighted, and peered over
his shoulder. It irritated him. He gave her the
book quickly.

"Here," he said. "It's only letters for figures.
You put down 'a' instead of '2' or '6'."

They worked, he talking, she with her head
down on the book. He was quick and hasty.

She never answered. Occasionally, when
he demanded of her, "Do you see?" she
looked up at him, her eyes wide with the
half-laugh that comes of fear. "Don't you?"
he cried.

He had been too fast. But she said nothing.
He questioned her more, then got hot. It
made his blood rouse to see her there, as it
were, at his mercy, her mouth open, her
eyes dilated with laughter that was afraid,
apologetic, ashamed. Then Edgar came
along with two buckets of milk.

"Hello!" he said. "What are you doing?"

"Algebra," replied Paul.

"Algebra!" repeated Edgar curiously. Then
he passed on with a laugh. Paul took a bite
at his forgotten apple, looked at the
miserable cabbages in the garden, pecked
into lace by the fowls, and he wanted to pull
them up. Then he glanced at Miriam. She
was poring over the book, seemed
absorbed in it, yet trembling lest she could
not get at it. It made him cross. She was
ruddy and beautiful. Yet her soul seemed to
be intensely supplicating. The algebra-
book she closed, shrinking, knowing he
was angered; and at the same instant he
grew gentle, seeing her hurt because she
did not understand.

But things came slowly to her. And when
she held herself in a grip, seemed so utterly
humble before the lesson, it made his blood
rouse. He stormed at her, got ashamed,
continued the lesson, and grew furious
again, abusing her. She listened in silence.
Occasionally, very rarely, she defended
herself. Her liquid dark eyes blazed at him.

"You don't give me time to learn it," she
said.

-119-

"All right," he answered, throwing the book
on the table and lighting a cigarette. Then,
after a while, he went back to her repentant.
So the lessons went. He was always either
in a rage or very gentle.

"What do you tremble your SOUL before it
for?" he cried. "You don't learn algebra with
your blessed soul. Can't you look at it with
your clear simple wits?"

Often, when he went again into the kitchen,
Mrs. Leivers would look at him
reproachfully, saying:

"Paul, don't be so hard on Miriam. She may
not be quick, but I'm sure she tries."

"I can't help it," he said rather pitiably. "I go
off like it."

"You don't mind me, Miriam, do you?" he
asked of the girl later.

"No," she reassured him in her beautiful
deep tones—"no, I don't mind."

"Don't mind me; it's my fault."

But, in spite of himself, his blood began to
boil with her. It was strange that no one else
made him in such fury. He flared against
her. Once he threw the pencil in her face.
There was a silence. She turned her face
slightly aside.

"I didn't—-" he began, but got no farther,
feeling weak in all his bones. She never
reproached him or was angry with him. He
was often cruelly ashamed. But still again
his anger burst like a bubble surcharged;
and still, when he saw her eager, silent, as it
were, blind face, he felt he wanted to throw
the pencil in it; and still, when he saw her
hand trembling and her mouth parted with
suffering, his heart was scalded with pain

for her. And because of the intensity to
which she roused him, he sought her.

Then he often avoided her and went with
Edgar. Miriam and her brother were
naturally antagonistic. Edgar was a
rationalist, who was curious, and had a sort
of scientific interest in life. It was a great
bitterness to Miriam to see herself deserted
by Paul for Edgar, who seemed so much
lower. But the youth was very happy with her
elder brother. The two men spent
afternoons together on the land or in the loft
doing carpentry, when it rained. And they
talked together, or Paul taught Edgar the
songs he himself had learned from Annie at
the piano. And often all the men, Mr. Leivers
as well, had bitter debates on the
nationalizing of the land and similar
problems. Paul had already heard his
mother's views, and as these were as yet
his own, he argued for her. Miriam attended
and took part, but was all the time waiting
until it should be over and a personal
communication might begin.

"After all," she said within herself, "if the
land were nationalized, Edgar and Paul and
I would be just the same." So she waited for
the youth to come back to her.

He was studying for his painting. He loved
to sit at home, alone with his mother, at
night, working and working. She sewed or
read. Then, looking up from his task, he
would rest his eyes for a moment on her
face, that was bright with living warmth, and
he returned gladly to his work.

"I can do my best things when you sit there in
your rocking-chair, mother," he said.

"I'm sure!" she exclaimed, sniffing with
mock scepticism. But she felt it was so, and
her heart quivered with brightness. For
many hours she sat still, slightly conscious

-120-

of him labouring away, whilst she worked or
read her book. And he, with all his soul's
intensity directing his pencil, could feel her
warmth inside him like strength. They were
both very happy so, and both unconscious
of it. These times, that meant so much, and
which were real living, they almost ignored.

He was conscious only when stimulated. A
sketch finished, he always wanted to take it
to Miriam. Then he was stimulated into
knowledge of the work he had produced
unconsciously. In contact with Miriam he
gained insight; his vision went deeper.
From his mother he drew the life-warmth,
the strength to produce; Miriam urged this
warmth into intensity like a white light.

When he returned to the factory the
conditions of work were better. He had
Wednesday afternoon off to go to the Art
School—Miss Jordan's provision—returning in
the evening. Then the factory closed at six
instead of eight on Thursday and Friday
evenings.

One evening in the summer Miriam and he
went over the fields by Herod's Farm on
their way from the library home. So it was
only three miles to Willey Farm. There was a
yellow glow over the mowing-grass, and
the sorrel-heads burned crimson.
Gradually, as they walked along the high
land, the gold in the west sank down to red,
the red to crimson, and then the chill blue
crept up against the glow.

They came out upon the high road to
Alfreton, which ran white between the
darkening fields. There Paul hesitated. It
was two miles home for him, one mile
forward for Miriam. They both looked up the
road that ran in shadow right under the glow
of the north-west sky. On the crest of the hill,
Selby, with its stark houses and the up-
pricked headstocks of the pit, stood in

black silhouette small against the sky.

He looked at his watch.

"Nine o'clock!" he said.

The pair stood, loth to part, hugging their
books.

"The wood is so lovely now," she said. "I
wanted you to see it."

He followed her slowly across the road to
the white gate.

"They grumble so if I'm late," he said.

"But you're not doing anything wrong," she
answered impatiently.

He followed her across the nibbled pasture
in the dusk. There was a coolness in the
wood, a scent of leaves, of honeysuckle,
and a twilight. The two walked in silence.
Night came wonderfully there, among the
throng of dark tree-trunks. He looked round,
expectant.

She wanted to show him a certain wild-
rose bush she had discovered. She knew it
was wonderful. And yet, till he had seen it,
she felt it had not come into her soul. Only he
could make it her own, immortal. She was
dissatisfied.

Dew was already on the paths. In the old
oak-wood a mist was rising, and he
hesitated, wondering whether one
whiteness were a strand of fog or only
campion-flowers pallid in a cloud.

By the time they came to the pine-trees
Miriam was getting very eager and very
tense. Her bush might be gone. She might
not be able to find it; and she wanted it so
much. Almost passionately she wanted to

-121-

be with him when be stood before the
flowers. They were going to have a
communion together—something that thrilled
her, something holy. He was walking
beside her in silence. They were very near
to each other. She trembled, and he
listened, vaguely anxious.

Coming to the edge of the wood, they saw
the sky in front, like mother-of-pearl, and
the earth growing dark. Somewhere on the
outermost branches of the pine-wood the
honeysuckle was streaming scent.

"Where?" he asked.

"Down the middle path," she murmured,
quivering.

When they turned the corner of the path she
stood still. In the wide walk between the
pines, gazing rather frightened, she could
distinguish nothing for some moments; the
greying light robbed things of their colour.
Then she saw her bush.

"Ah!" she cried, hastening forward.

It was very still. The tree was tall and
straggling. It had thrown its briers over a
hawthorn-bush, and its long streamers
trailed thick, right down to the grass,
splashing the darkness everywhere with
great spilt stars, pure white. In bosses of
ivory and in large splashed stars the roses
gleamed on the darkness of foliage and
stems and grass. Paul and Miriam stood
close together, silent, and watched. Point
after point the steady roses shone out to
them, seeming to kindle something in their
souls. The dusk came like smoke around,
and still did not put out the roses.

Paul looked into Miriam's eyes. She was
pale and expectant with wonder, her lips
were parted, and her dark eyes lay open to

him. His look seemed to travel down into
her. Her soul quivered. It was the
communion she wanted. He turned aside,
as if pained. He turned to the bush.

"They seem as if they walk like butterflies,
and shake themselves," he said.

She looked at her roses. They were white,
some incurved and holy, others expanded in
an ecstasy. The tree was dark as a shadow.
She lifted her hand impulsively to the
flowers; she went forward and touched
them in worship.

"Let us go," he said.

There was a cool scent of ivory roses—a
white, virgin scent. Something made him
feel anxious and imprisoned. The two
walked in silence.

"Till Sunday," he said quietly, and left her;
and she walked home slowly, feeling her
soul satisfied with the holiness of the night.
He stumbled down the path. And as soon as
he was out of the wood, in the free open
meadow, where he could breathe, he
started to run as fast as he could. It was like
a delicious delirium in his veins.

Always when he went with Miriam, and it
grew rather late, he knew his mother was
fretting and getting angry about him—why, he
could not understand. As he went into the
house, flinging down his cap, his mother
looked up at the clock. She had been sitting
thinking, because a chill to her eyes
prevented her reading. She could feel Paul
being drawn away by this girl. And she did
not care for Miriam. "She is one of those
who will want to suck a man's soul out till he
has none of his own left," she said to
herself; "and he is just such a gaby as to let
himself be absorbed. She will never let him
become a man; she never will." So, while he

-122-

was away with Miriam, Mrs. Morel grew
more and more worked up.

She glanced at the clock and said, coldly
and rather tired:

"You have been far enough to-night."

His soul, warm and exposed from contact
with the girl, shrank.

"You must have been right home with her,"
his mother continued.

He would not answer. Mrs. Morel, looking at
him quickly, saw his hair was damp on his
forehead with haste, saw him frowning in
his heavy fashion, resentfully.

"She must be wonderfully fascinating, that
you can't get away from her, but must go
trailing eight miles at this time of night."

He was hurt between the past glamour with
Miriam and the knowledge that his mother
fretted. He had meant not to say anything, to
refuse to answer. But he could not harden
his heart to ignore his mother.

"I DO like to talk to her," he answered
irritably.

"Is there nobody else to talk to?"

"You wouldn't say anything if I went with
Edgar."

"You know I should. You know, whoever you
went with, I should say it was too far for you
to go trailing, late at night, when you've
been to Nottingham. Besides"—her voice
suddenly flashed into anger and
contempt—"it is disgusting—bits of lads and
girls courting."

"It is NOT courting," he cried.

"I don't know what else you call it."

"It's not! Do you think we SPOON and do?
We only talk."

"Till goodness knows what time and
distance," was the sarcastic rejoinder.

Paul snapped at the laces of his boots
angrily.

"What are you so mad about?" he asked.
"Because you don't like her."

"I don't say I don't like her. But I don't hold
with children keeping company, and never
did."

"But you don't mind our Annie going out with
Jim Inger."

"They've more sense than you two."

"Why?"

"Our Annie's not one of the deep sort."

He failed to see the meaning of this remark.
But his mother looked tired. She was never
so strong after William's death; and her
eyes hurt her.

"Well," he said, "it's so pretty in the country.
Mr. Sleath asked about you. He said he'd
missed you. Are you a bit better?"

"I ought to have been in bed a long time
ago," she replied.

"Why, mother, you know you wouldn't have
gone before quarter-past ten."

"Oh, yes, I should!"

"Oh, little woman, you'd say anything now
you're disagreeable with me, wouldn't

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you?"

He kissed her forehead that he knew so
well: the deep marks between the brows,
the rising of the fine hair, greying now, and
the proud setting of the temples. His hand
lingered on her shoulder after his kiss. Then
he went slowly to bed. He had forgotten
Miriam; he only saw how his mother's hair
was lifted back from her warm, broad brow.
And somehow, she was hurt.

Then the next time he saw Miriam he said to
her:

"Don't let me be late to-night—not later than
ten o'clock. My mother gets so upset."

Miriam dropped her bead, brooding.

"Why does she get upset?" she asked.

"Because she says I oughtn't to be out late
when I have to get up early."

"Very well!" said Miriam, rather quietly, with
just a touch of a sneer.

He resented that. And he was usually late
again.

That there was any love growing between
him and Miriam neither of them would have
acknowledged. He thought he was too sane
for such sentimentality, and she thought
herself too lofty. They both were late in
coming to maturity, and psychical ripeness
was much behind even the physical. Miriam
was exceedingly sensitive, as her mother
had always been. The slightest grossness
made her recoil almost in anguish. Her
brothers were brutal, but never coarse in
speech. The men did all the discussing of
farm matters outside. But, perhaps,
because of the continual business of birth
and of begetting which goes on upon every

farm, Miriam was the more hypersensitive
to the matter, and her blood was chastened
almost to disgust of the faintest suggestion
of such intercourse. Paul took his pitch from
her, and their intimacy went on in an utterly
blanched and chaste fashion. It could never
be mentioned that the mare was in foal.

When he was nineteen, he was earning only
twenty shillings a week, but he was happy.
His painting went well, and life went well
enough. On the Good Friday he organised a
walk to the Hemlock Stone. There were
three lads of his own age, then Annie and
Arthur, Miriam and Geoffrey. Arthur,
apprenticed as an electrician in
Nottingham, was home for the holiday.
Morel, as usual, was up early, whistling and
sawing in the yard. At seven o'clock the
family heard him buy threepennyworth of
hot-cross buns; he talked with gusto to the
little girl who brought them, calling her "my
darling". He turned away several boys who
came with more buns, telling them they had
been "kested" by a little lass. Then Mrs.
Morel got up, and the family straggled
down. It was an immense luxury to
everybody, this lying in bed just beyond the
ordinary time on a weekday. And Paul and
Arthur read before breakfast, and had the
meal unwashed, sitting in their shirt-
sleeves. This was another holiday luxury.
The room was warm. Everything felt free of
care and anxiety. There was a sense of
plenty in the house.

While the boys were reading, Mrs. Morel
went into the garden. They were now in
another house, an old one, near the Scargill
Street home, which had been left soon after
William had died. Directly came an excited
cry from the garden:

"Paul! Paul! come and look!"

It was his mother's voice. He threw down

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his book and went out. There was a long
garden that ran to a field. It was a grey, cold
day, with a sharp wind blowing out of
Derbyshire. Two fields away Bestwood
began, with a jumble of roofs and red
house-ends, out of which rose the church
tower and the spire of the Congregational
Chapel. And beyond went woods and hills,
right away to the pale grey heights of the
Pennine Chain.

Paul looked down the garden for his
mother. Her head appeared among the
young currant-bushes.

"Come here!" she cried.

"What for?" he answered.

"Come and see."

She had been looking at the buds on the
currant trees. Paul went up.

"To think," she said, "that here I might never
have seen them!"

Her son went to her side. Under the fence,
in a little bed, was a ravel of poor grassy
leaves, such as come from very immature
bulbs, and three scyllas in bloom. Mrs.
Morel pointed to the deep blue flowers.

"Now, just see those!" she exclaimed. "I
was looking at the currant bushes, when,
thinks I to myself, 'There's something very
blue; is it a bit of sugar-bag?' and there,
behold you! Sugar-bag! Three glories of
the snow, and such beauties! But where on
earth did they come from?"

"I don't know," said Paul.

"Well, that's a marvel, now! I THOUGHT I
knew every weed and blade in this garden.
But HAVEN'T they done well? You see, that

gooseberry-bush just shelters them. Not
nipped, not touched!"

He crouched down and turned up the bells
of the little blue flowers.

"They're a glorious colour!" he said.

"Aren't they!" she cried. "I guess they come
from Switzerland, where they say they have
such lovely things. Fancy them against the
snow! But where have they come from?
They can't have BLOWN here, can they?"

Then he remembered having set here a lot
of little trash of bulbs to mature.

"And you never told me," she said.

"No! I thought I'd leave it till they might
flower."

"And now, you see! I might have missed
them. And I've never had a glory of the snow
in my garden in my life."

She was full of excitement and elation. The
garden was an endless joy to her. Paul was
thankful for her sake at last to be in a house
with a long garden that went down to a field.
Every morning after breakfast she went out
and was happy pottering about in it. And it
was true, she knew every weed and blade.

Everybody turned up for the walk. Food was
packed, and they set off, a merry, delighted
party. They hung over the wall of the mill-
race, dropped paper in the water on one
side of the tunnel and watched it shoot out
on the other. They stood on the foot-bridge
over Boathouse Station and looked at the
metals gleaming coldly.

"You should see the Flying Scotsman come
through at half-past six!" said Leonard,
whose father was a signalman. "Lad, but

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she doesn't half buzz!" and the little party
looked up the lines one way, to London, and
the other way, to Scotland, and they felt the
touch of these two magical places.

In Ilkeston the colliers were waiting in gangs
for the public-houses to open. It was a town
of idleness and lounging. At Stanton Gate
the iron foundry blazed. Over everything
there were great discussions. At Trowell
they crossed again from Derbyshire into
Nottinghamshire. They came to the
Hemlock Stone at dinner-time. Its field was
crowded with folk from Nottingham and
Ilkeston.

They had expected a venerable and
dignified monument. They found a little,
gnarled, twisted stump of rock, something
like a decayed mushroom, standing out
pathetically on the side of a field. Leonard
and Dick immediately proceeded to carve
their initials, "L. W." and "R. P.", in the old red
sandstone; but Paul desisted, because he
had read in the newspaper satirical
remarks about initial-carvers, who could
find no other road to immortality. Then all the
lads climbed to the top of the rock to look
round.

Everywhere in the field below, factory girls
and lads were eating lunch or sporting
about. Beyond was the garden of an old
manor. It had yew-hedges and thick clumps
and borders of yellow crocuses round the
lawn.

"See," said Paul to Miriam, "what a quiet
garden!"

She saw the dark yews and the golden
crocuses, then she looked gratefully. He
had not seemed to belong to her among all
these others; he was different then—not her
Paul, who understood the slightest quiver of
her innermost soul, but something else,

speaking another language than hers. How
it hurt her, and deadened her very
perceptions. Only when he came right back
to her, leaving his other, his lesser self, as
she thought, would she feel alive again. And
now he asked her to look at this garden,
wanting the contact with her again.
Impatient of the set in the field, she turned to
the quiet lawn, surrounded by sheaves of
shut-up crocuses. A feeling of stillness,
almost of ecstasy, came over her. It felt
almost as if she were alone with him in this
garden.

Then he left her again and joined the others.
Soon they started home. Miriam loitered
behind, alone. She did not fit in with the
others; she could very rarely get into human
relations with anyone: so her friend, her
companion, her lover, was Nature. She saw
the sun declining wanly. In the dusky, cold
hedgerows were some red leaves. She
lingered to gather them, tenderly,
passionately. The love in her finger-tips
caressed the leaves; the passion in her
heart came to a glow upon the leaves.

Suddenly she realised she was alone in a
strange road, and she hurried forward.
Turning a corner in the lane, she came upon
Paul, who stood bent over something, his
mind fixed on it, working away steadily,
patiently, a little hopelessly. She hesitated in
her approach, to watch.

He remained concentrated in the middle of
the road. Beyond, one rift of rich gold in that
colourless grey evening seemed to make
him stand out in dark relief. She saw him,
slender and firm, as if the setting sun had
given him to her. A deep pain took hold of
her, and she knew she must love him. And
she had discovered him, discovered in him
a rare potentiality, discovered his
loneliness. Quivering as at some
"annunciation", she went slowly forward.

-126-

At last he looked up.

"Why," he exclaimed gratefully, "have you
waited for me!"

She saw a deep shadow in his eyes.

"What is it?" she asked.

"The spring broken here;" and he showed
her where his umbrella was injured.

Instantly, with some shame, she knew he
had not done the damage himself, but that
Geoffrey was responsible.

"It is only an old umbrella, isn't it?" she
asked.

She wondered why he, who did not usually
trouble over trifles, made such a mountain
of this molehill.

"But it was William's an' my mother can't
help but know," he said quietly, still patiently
working at the umbrella.

The words went through Miriam like a
blade. This, then, was the confirmation of
her vision of him! She looked at him. But
there was about him a certain reserve, and
she dared not comfort him, not even speak
softly to him.

"Come on," he said. "I can't do it;" and they
went in silence along the road.

That same evening they were walking along
under the trees by Nether Green. He was
talking to her fretfully, seemed to be
struggling to convince himself.

"You know," he said, with an effort, "if one
person loves, the other does."

"Ah!" she answered. "Like mother said to

me when I was little, 'Love begets love.'"

"Yes, something like that, I think it MUST
be."

"I hope so, because, if it were not, love
might be a very terrible thing," she said.

"Yes, but it IS—at least with most people," he
answered.

And Miriam, thinking he had assured
himself, felt strong in herself. She always
regarded that sudden coming upon him in
the lane as a revelation. And this
conversation remained graven in her mind
as one of the letters of the law.

Now she stood with him and for him. When,
about this time, he outraged the family
feeling at Willey Farm by some overbearing
insult, she stuck to him, and believed he
was right. And at this time she dreamed
dreams of him, vivid, unforgettable. These
dreams came again later on, developed to
a more subtle psychological stage.

On the Easter Monday the same party took
an excursion to Wingfield Manor. It was
great excitement to Miriam to catch a train
at Sethley Bridge, amid all the bustle of the
Bank Holiday crowd. They left the train at
Alfreton. Paul was interested in the street
and in the colliers with their dogs. Here was
a new race of miners. Miriam did not live till
they came to the church. They were all rather
timid of entering, with their bags of food, for
fear of being turned out. Leonard, a comic,
thin fellow, went first; Paul, who would have
died rather than be sent back, went last. The
place was decorated for Easter. In the font
hundreds of white narcissi seemed to be
growing. The air was dim and coloured
from the windows and thrilled with a subtle
scent of lilies and narcissi. In that
atmosphere Miriam's soul came into a

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glow. Paul was afraid of the things he
mustn't do; and he was sensitive to the feel
of the place. Miriam turned to him. He
answered. They were together. He would
not go beyond the Communion-rail. She
loved him for that. Her soul expanded into
prayer beside him. He felt the strange
fascination of shadowy religious places. All
his latent mysticism quivered into life. She
was drawn to him. He was a prayer along
with her.

Miriam very rarely talked to the other lads.
They at once became awkward in
conversation with her. So usually she was
silent.

It was past midday when they climbed the
steep path to the manor. All things shone
softly in the sun, which was wonderfully
warm and enlivening. Celandines and
violets were out. Everybody was tip-top full
with happiness. The glitter of the ivy, the
soft, atmospheric grey of the castle walls,
the gentleness of everything near the ruin,
was perfect.

The manor is of hard, pale grey stone, and
the other walls are blank and calm. The
young folk were in raptures. They went in
trepidation, almost afraid that the delight of
exploring this ruin might be denied them. In
the first courtyard, within the high broken
walls, were farm-carts, with their shafts
lying idle on the ground, the tyres of the
wheels brilliant with gold-red rust. It was
very still.

All eagerly paid their sixpences, and went
timidly through the fine clean arch of the
inner courtyard. They were shy. Here on the
pavement, where the hall had been, an old
thorn tree was budding. All kinds of strange
openings and broken rooms were in the
shadow around them.

After lunch they set off once more to explore
the ruin. This time the girls went with the
boys, who could act as guides and
expositors. There was one tall tower in a
corner, rather tottering, where they say Mary
Queen of Scots was imprisoned.

"Think of the Queen going up here!" said
Miriam in a low voice, as she climbed the
hollow stairs.

"If she could get up," said Paul, "for she had
rheumatism like anything. I reckon they
treated her rottenly."

"You don't think she deserved it?" asked
Miriam.

"No, I don't. She was only lively."

They continued to mount the winding
staircase. A high wind, blowing through the
loopholes, went rushing up the shaft, and
filled the girl's skirts like a balloon, so that
she was ashamed, until he took the hem of
her dress and held it down for her. He did it
perfectly simply, as he would have picked
up her glove. She remembered this always.

Round the broken top of the tower the ivy
bushed out, old and handsome. Also, there
were a few chill gillivers, in pale cold bud.
Miriam wanted to lean over for some ivy, but
he would not let her. Instead, she had to wait
behind him, and take from him each spray
as he gathered it and held it to her, each one
separately, in the purest manner of chivalry.
The tower seemed to rock in the wind. They
looked over miles and miles of wooded
country, and country with gleams of pasture.

The crypt underneath the manor was
beautiful, and in perfect preservation. Paul
made a drawing: Miriam stayed with him.
She was thinking of Mary Queen of Scots
looking with her strained, hopeless eyes,

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that could not understand misery, over the
hills whence no help came, or sitting in this
crypt, being told of a God as cold as the
place she sat in.

They set off again gaily, looking round on
their beloved manor that stood so clean and
big on its hill.

"Supposing you could have THAT farm,"
said Paul to Miriam.

"Yes!"

"Wouldn't it be lovely to come and see you!"

They were now in the bare country of stone
walls, which he loved, and which, though
only ten miles from home, seemed so
foreign to Miriam. The party was straggling.
As they were crossing a large meadow that
sloped away from the sun, along a path
embedded with innumerable tiny glittering
points, Paul, walking alongside, laced his
fingers in the strings of the bag Miriam was
carrying, and instantly she felt Annie behind,
watchful and jealous. But the meadow was
bathed in a glory of sunshine, and the path
was jewelled, and it was seldom that he
gave her any sign. She held her fingers very
still among the strings of the bag, his fingers
touching; and the place was golden as a
vision.

At last they came into the straggling grey
village of Crich, that lies high. Beyond the
village was the famous Crich Stand that
Paul could see from the garden at home.
The party pushed on. Great expanse of
country spread around and below. The lads
were eager to get to the top of the hill. It was
capped by a round knoll, half of which was
by now cut away, and on the top of which
stood an ancient monument, sturdy and
squat, for signalling in old days far down
into the level lands of Nottinghamshire and

Leicestershire.

It was blowing so hard, high up there in the
exposed place, that the only way to be safe
was to stand nailed by the wind to the wan
of the tower. At their feet fell the precipice
where the limestone was quarried away.
Below was a jumble of hills and tiny
villages—Mattock, Ambergate, Stoney
Middleton. The lads were eager to spy out
the church of Bestwood, far away among
the rather crowded country on the left. They
were disgusted that it seemed to stand on a
plain. They saw the hills of Derbyshire fall
into the monotony of the Midlands that
swept away South.

Miriam was somewhat scared by the wind,
but the lads enjoyed it. They went on, miles
and miles, to Whatstandwell. All the food
was eaten, everybody was hungry, and
there was very little money to get home with.
But they managed to procure a loaf and a
currant-loaf, which they hacked to pieces
with shut-knives, and ate sitting on the wall
near the bridge, watching the bright
Derwent rushing by, and the brakes from
Matlock pulling up at the inn.

Paul was now pale with weariness. He had
been responsible for the party all day, and
now he was done. Miriam understood, and
kept close to him, and he left himself in her
hands.

They had an hour to wait at Ambergate
Station. Trains came, crowded with
excursionists returning to Manchester,
Birmingham, and London.

"We might be going there—folk easily might
think we're going that far," said Paul.

They got back rather late. Miriam, walking
home with Geoffrey, watched the moon rise
big and red and misty. She felt something

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was fulfilled in her.

She had an elder sister, Agatha, who was a
school-teacher. Between the two girls was
a feud. Miriam considered Agatha worldly.
And she wanted herself to be a school-
teacher.

One Saturday afternoon Agatha and Miriam
were upstairs dressing. Their bedroom was
over the stable. It was a low room, not very
large, and bare. Miriam had nailed on the
wall a reproduction of Veronese's "St.
Catherine". She loved the woman who sat in
the window, dreaming. Her own windows
were too small to sit in. But the front one
was dripped over with honeysuckle and
virginia creeper, and looked upon the tree-
tops of the oak-wood across the yard,
while the little back window, no bigger than
a handkerchief, was a loophole to the east,
to the dawn beating up against the beloved
round hills.

The two sisters did not talk much to each
other. Agatha, who was fair and small and
determined, had rebelled against the home
atmosphere, against the doctrine of "the
other cheek". She was out in the world now,
in a fair way to be independent. And she
insisted on worldly values, on appearance,
on manners, on position, which Miriam
would fain have ignored.

Both girls liked to be upstairs, out of the
way, when Paul came. They preferred to
come running down, open the stair-foot
door, and see him watching, expectant of
them. Miriam stood painfully pulling over her
head a rosary he had given her. It caught in
the fine mesh of her hair. But at last she had
it on, and the red-brown wooden beads
looked well against her cool brown neck.
She was a well-developed girl, and very
handsome. But in the little looking-glass
nailed against the whitewashed wall she

could only see a fragment of herself at a
time. Agatha had bought a little mirror of her
own, which she propped up to suit herself.
Miriam was near the window. Suddenly she
heard the well-known click of the chain, and
she saw Paul fling open the gate, push his
bicycle into the yard. She saw him look at
the house, and she shrank away. He walked
in a nonchalant fashion, and his bicycle
went with him as if it were a live thing.

"Paul's come!" she exclaimed.

"Aren't you glad?" said Agatha cuttingly.

Miriam stood still in amazement and
bewilderment.

"Well, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes, but I'm not going to let him see it, and
think I wanted him."

Miriam was startled. She heard him putting
his bicycle in the stable underneath, and
talking to Jimmy, who had been a pit-horse,
and who was seedy.

"Well, Jimmy my lad, how are ter? Nobbut
sick an' sadly, like? Why, then, it's a shame,
my owd lad."

She heard the rope run through the hole as
the horse lifted its head from the lad's
caress. How she loved to listen when he
thought only the horse could hear. But there
was a serpent in her Eden. She searched
earnestly in herself to see if she wanted
Paul Morel. She felt there would be some
disgrace in it. Full of twisted feeling, she
was afraid she did want him. She stood
self-convicted. Then came an agony of new
shame. She shrank within herself in a coil of
torture. Did she want Paul Morel, and did he
know she wanted him? What a subtle infamy
upon her. She felt as if her whole soul coiled

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into knots of shame.

Agatha was dressed first, and ran
downstairs. Miriam heard her greet the lad
gaily, knew exactly how brilliant her grey
eyes became with that tone. She herself
would have felt it bold to have greeted him in
such wise. Yet there she stood under the
self-accusation of wanting him, tied to that
stake of torture. In bitter perplexity she
kneeled down and prayed:

"O Lord, let me not love Paul Morel. Keep
me from loving him, if I ought not to love
him."

Something anomalous in the prayer
arrested her. She lifted her head and
pondered. How could it be wrong to love
him? Love was God's gift. And yet it caused
her shame. That was because of him, Paul
Morel. But, then, it was not his affair, it was
her own, between herself and God. She
was to be a sacrifice. But it was God's
sacrifice, not Paul Morel's or her own. After
a few minutes she hid her face in the pillow
again, and said:

"But, Lord, if it is Thy will that I should love
him, make me love him—as Christ would,
who died for the souls of men. Make me
love him splendidly, because he is Thy son."

She remained kneeling for some time, quite
still, and deeply moved, her black hair
against the red squares and the lavender-
sprigged squares of the patchwork quilt.
Prayer was almost essential to her. Then
she fell into that rapture of self-sacrifice,
identifying herself with a God who was
sacrificed, which gives to so many human
souls their deepest bliss.

When she went downstairs Paul was lying
back in an armchair, holding forth with much
vehemence to Agatha, who was scorning a

little painting he had brought to show her.
Miriam glanced at the two, and avoided
their levity. She went into the parlour to be
alone.

It was tea-time before she was able to
speak to Paul, and then her manner was so
distant he thought he had offended her.

Miriam discontinued her practice of going
each Thursday evening to the library in
Bestwood. After calling for Paul regularly
during the whole spring, a number of trifling
incidents and tiny insults from his family
awakened her to their attitude towards her,
and she decided to go no more. So she
announced to Paul one evening she would
not call at his house again for him on
Thursday nights.

"Why?" he asked, very short.

"Nothing. Only I'd rather not."

"Very well."

"But," she faltered, "if you'd care to meet
me, we could still go together."

"Meet you where?"

"Somewhere—where you like."

"I shan't meet you anywhere. I don't see why
you shouldn't keep calling for me. But if you
won't, I don't want to meet you."

So the Thursday evenings which had been
so precious to her, and to him, were
dropped. He worked instead. Mrs. Morel
sniffed with satisfaction at this
arrangement.

He would not have it that they were lovers.
The intimacy between them had been kept
so abstract, such a matter of the soul, all

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thought and weary struggle into
consciousness, that he saw it only as a
platonic friendship. He stoutly denied there
was anything else between them. Miriam
was silent, or else she very quietly agreed.
He was a fool who did not know what was
happening to himself. By tacit agreement
they ignored the remarks and insinuations
of their acquaintances.

"We aren't lovers, we are friends," he said to
her. "WE know it. Let them talk. What does it
matter what they say."

Sometimes, as they were walking together,
she slipped her arm timidly into his. But he
always resented it, and she knew it. It
caused a violent conflict in him. With Miriam
he was always on the high plane of
abstraction, when his natural fire of love
was transmitted into the fine stream of
thought. She would have it so. If he were
jolly and, as she put it, flippant, she waited
till he came back to her, till the change had
taken place in him again, and he was
wrestling with his own soul, frowning,
passionate in his desire for understanding.
And in this passion for understanding her
soul lay close to his; she had him all to
herself. But he must be made abstract first.

Then, if she put her arm in his, it caused him
almost torture. His consciousness seemed
to split. The place where she was touching
him ran hot with friction. He was one
internecine battle, and he became cruel to
her because of it.

One evening in midsummer Miriam called at
the house, warm from climbing. Paul was
alone in the kitchen; his mother could be
heard moving about upstairs.

"Come and look at the sweet-peas," he
said to the girl.

They went into the garden. The sky behind
the townlet and the church was orange-red;
the flower-garden was flooded with a
strange warm light that lifted every leaf into
significance. Paul passed along a fine row
of sweet-peas, gathering a blossom here
and there, all cream and pale blue. Miriam
followed, breathing the fragrance. To her,
flowers appealed with such strength she felt
she must make them part of herself. When
she bent and breathed a flower, it was as if
she and the flower were loving each other.
Paul hated her for it. There seemed a sort of
exposure about the action, something too
intimate.

When he had got a fair bunch, they returned
to the house. He listened for a moment to
his mother's quiet movement upstairs, then
he said:

"Come here, and let me pin them in for you."
He arranged them two or three at a time in
the bosom of her dress, stepping back now
and then to see the effect. "You know," he
said, taking the pin out of his mouth, "a
woman ought always to arrange her flowers
before her glass."

Miriam laughed. She thought flowers ought
to be pinned in one's dress without any
care. That Paul should take pains to fix her
flowers for her was his whim.

He was rather offended at her laughter.

"Some women do—those who look decent,"
he said.

Miriam laughed again, but mirthlessly, to
hear him thus mix her up with women in a
general way. From most men she would
have ignored it. But from him it hurt her.

He had nearly finished arranging the
flowers when he heard his mother's

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footstep on the stairs. Hurriedly he pushed
in the last pin and turned away.

"Don't let mater know," he said.

Miriam picked up her books and stood in
the doorway looking with chagrin at the
beautiful sunset. She would call for Paul no
more, she said.

"Good-evening, Mrs. Morel," she said, in a
deferential way. She sounded as if she felt
she had no right to be there.

"Oh, is it you, Miriam?" replied Mrs. Morel
coolly.

But Paul insisted on everybody's accepting
his friendship with the girl, and Mrs. Morel
was too wise to have any open rupture.

It was not till he was twenty years old that the
family could ever afford to go away for a
holiday. Mrs. Morel had never been away
for a holiday, except to see her sister, since
she had been married. Now at last Paul had
saved enough money, and they were all
going. There was to be a party: some of
Annie's friends, one friend of Paul's, a
young man in the same office where William
had previously been, and Miriam.

It was great excitement writing for rooms.
Paul and his mother debated it endlessly
between them. They wanted a furnished
cottage for two weeks. She thought one
week would be enough, but he insisted on
two.

At last they got an answer from
Mablethorpe, a cottage such as they
wished for thirty shillings a week. There was
immense jubilation. Paul was wild with joy
for his mother's sake. She would have a
real holiday now. He and she sat at evening
picturing what it would be like. Annie came

in, and Leonard, and Alice, and Kitty. There
was wild rejoicing and anticipation. Paul
told Miriam. She seemed to brood with joy
over it. But the Morel's house rang with
excitement.

They were to go on Saturday morning by the
seven train. Paul suggested that Miriam
should sleep at his house, because it was
so far for her to walk. She came down for
supper. Everybody was so excited that even
Miriam was accepted with warmth. But
almost as soon as she entered the feeling in
the family became close and tight. He had
discovered a poem by Jean Ingelow which
mentioned Mablethorpe, and so he must
read it to Miriam. He would never have got
so far in the direction of sentimentality as to
read poetry to his own family. But now they
condescended to listen. Miriam sat on the
sofa absorbed in him. She always seemed
absorbed in him, and by him, when he was
present. Mrs. Morel sat jealously in her own
chair. She was going to hear also. And even
Annie and the father attended, Morel with
his head cocked on one side, like
somebody listening to a sermon and feeling
conscious of the fact. Paul ducked his head
over the book. He had got now all the
audience he cared for. And Mrs. Morel and
Annie almost contested with Miriam who
should listen best and win his favour. He
was in very high feather.

"But," interrupted Mrs. Morel, "what IS the
'Bride of Enderby' that the bells are
supposed to ring?"

"It's an old tune they used to play on the bells
for a warning against water. I suppose the
Bride of Enderby was drowned in a flood,"
he replied. He had not the faintest
knowledge what it really was, but he would
never have sunk so low as to confess that to
his womenfolk. They listened and believed
him. He believed himself.

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"And the people knew what that tune
meant?" said his mother.

"Yes—just like the Scotch when they heard
'The Flowers o' the Forest'—and when they
used to ring the bells backward for alarm."

"How?" said Annie. "A bell sounds the same
whether it's rung backwards or forwards."

"But," he said, "if you start with the deep bell
and ring up to the high
one—der—der—der—der—der—der—der—der!"

He ran up the scale. Everybody thought it
clever. He thought so too. Then, waiting a
minute, he continued the poem.

"Hm!" said Mrs. Morel curiously, when he
finished. "But I wish everything that's written
weren't so sad."

"I canna see what they want drownin'
theirselves for," said Morel.

There was a pause. Annie got up to clear
the table.

Miriam rose to help with the pots.

"Let ME help to wash up," she said.

"Certainly not," cried Annie. "You sit down
again. There aren't many."

And Miriam, who could not be familiar and
insist, sat down again to look at the book
with Paul.

He was master of the party; his father was
no good. And great tortures he suffered lest
the tin box should be put out at Firsby
instead of at Mablethorpe. And he wasn't
equal to getting a carriage. His bold little
mother did that.

"Here!" she cried to a man. "Here!"

Paul and Annie got behind the rest,
convulsed with shamed laughter.

"How much will it be to drive to Brook
Cottage?" said Mrs. Morel.

"Two shillings."

"Why, how far is it?"

"A good way."

"I don't believe it," she said.

But she scrambled in. There were eight
crowded in one old seaside carriage.

"You see," said Mrs. Morel, "it's only
threepence each, and if it were a tramcar—-"

They drove along. Each cottage they came
to, Mrs. Morel cried:

"Is it this? Now, this is it!"

Everybody sat breathless. They drove past.
There was a universal sigh.

"I'm thankful it wasn't that brute," said Mrs.
Morel. "I WAS frightened." They drove on
and on.

At last they descended at a house that stood
alone over the dyke by the highroad. There
was wild excitement because they had to
cross a little bridge to get into the front
garden. But they loved the house that lay so
solitary, with a sea-meadow on one side,
and immense expanse of land patched in
white barley, yellow oats, red wheat, and
green root-crops, flat and stretching level to
the sky.

Paul kept accounts. He and his mother ran

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the show. The total expenses—lodging, food,
everything—was sixteen shillings a week per
person. He and Leonard went bathing in the
mornings. Morel was wandering abroad
quite early.

"You, Paul," his mother called from the
bedroom, "eat a piece of bread-and-
butter."

"All right," he answered.

And when he got back he saw his mother
presiding in state at the breakfast-table.
The woman of the house was young. Her
husband was blind, and she did laundry
work. So Mrs. Morel always washed the
pots in the kitchen and made the beds.

"But you said you'd have a real holiday,"
said Paul, "and now you work."

"Work!" she exclaimed. "What are you talking
about!"

He loved to go with her across the fields to
the village and the sea. She was afraid of
the plank bridge, and he abused her for
being a baby. On the whole he stuck to her
as if he were HER man.

Miriam did not get much of him, except,
perhaps, when all the others went to the
"Coons". Coons were insufferably stupid to
Miriam, so he thought they were to himself
also, and he preached priggishly to Annie
about the fatuity of listening to them. Yet he,
too, knew all their songs, and sang them
along the roads roisterously. And if he found
himself listening, the stupidity pleased him
very much. Yet to Annie he said:

"Such rot! there isn't a grain of intelligence
in it. Nobody with more gumption than a
grasshopper could go and sit and listen."
And to Miriam he said, with much scorn of

Annie and the others: "I suppose they're at
the 'Coons'."

It was queer to see Miriam singing coon
songs. She had a straight chin that went in a
perpendicular line from the lower lip to the
turn. She always reminded Paul of some
sad Botticelli angel when she sang, even
when it was:


"Come down lover's lane
For a walk with me, talk with me."

Only when he sketched, or at evening when
the others were at the "Coons", she had him
to herself. He talked to her endlessly about
his love of horizontals: how they, the great
levels of sky and land in Lincolnshire, meant
to him the eternality of the will, just as the
bowed Norman arches of the church,
repeating themselves, meant the dogged
leaping forward of the persistent human
soul, on and on, nobody knows where; in
contradiction to the perpendicular lines and
to the Gothic arch, which, he said, leapt up
at heaven and touched the ecstasy and lost
itself in the divine. Himself, he said, was
Norman, Miriam was Gothic. She bowed in
consent even to that.

One evening he and she went up the great
sweeping shore of sand towards
Theddlethorpe. The long breakers plunged
and ran in a hiss of foam along the coast. It
was a warm evening. There was not a
figure but themselves on the far reaches of
sand, no noise but the sound of the sea.
Paul loved to see it clanging at the land. He
loved to feel himself between the noise of it
and the silence of the sandy shore. Miriam
was with him. Everything grew very intense.
It was quite dark when they turned again.
The way home was through a gap in the
sandhills, and then along a raised grass
road between two dykes. The country was

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black and still. From behind the sandhills
came the whisper of the sea. Paul and
Miriam walked in silence. Suddenly he
started. The whole of his blood seemed to
burst into flame, and he could scarcely
breathe. An enormous orange moon was
staring at them from the rim of the sandhills.
He stood still, looking at it.

"Ah!" cried Miriam, when she saw it.

He remained perfectly still, staring at the
immense and ruddy moon, the only thing in
the far-reaching darkness of the level. His
heart beat heavily, the muscles of his arms
contracted.

"What is it?" murmured Miriam, waiting for
him.

He turned and looked at her. She stood
beside him, for ever in shadow. Her face,
covered with the darkness of her hat, was
watching him unseen. But she was
brooding. She was slightly afraid—deeply
moved and religious. That was her best
state. He was impotent against it. His blood
was concentrated like a flame in his chest.
But he could not get across to her. There
were flashes in his blood. But somehow she
ignored them. She was expecting some
religious state in him. Still yearning, she
was half aware of his passion, and gazed
at him, troubled.

"What is it?" she murmured again.

"It's the moon," he answered, frowning.

"Yes," she assented. "Isn't it wonderful?"
She was curious about him. The crisis was
past.

He did not know himself what was the
matter. He was naturally so young, and their
intimacy was so abstract, he did not know

he wanted to crush her on to his breast to
ease the ache there. He was afraid of her.
The fact that he might want her as a man
wants a woman had in him been
suppressed into a shame. When she shrank
in her convulsed, coiled torture from the
thought of such a thing, he had winced to the
depths of his soul. And now this "purity"
prevented even their first love-kiss. It was
as if she could scarcely stand the shock of
physical love, even a passionate kiss, and
then he was too shrinking and sensitive to
give it.

As they walked along the dark fen-meadow
he watched the moon and did not speak.
She plodded beside him. He hated her, for
she seemed in some way to make him
despise himself. Looking ahead—he saw the
one light in the darkness, the window of
their lamp-lit cottage.

He loved to think of his mother, and the
other jolly people.

"Well, everybody else has been in long ago!"
said his mother as they entered.

"What does that matter!" he cried irritably. "I
can go a walk if I like, can't I?"

"And I should have thought you could get in
to supper with the rest," said Mrs. Morel.

"I shall please myself," he retorted. "It's not
LATE. I shall do as I like."

"Very well," said his mother cuttingly, "then
DO as you like." And she took no further
notice of him that evening. Which he
pretended neither to notice nor to care
about, but sat reading. Miriam read also,
obliterating herself. Mrs. Morel hated her for
making her son like this. She watched Paul
growing irritable, priggish, and
melancholic. For this she put the blame on

-136-

Miriam. Annie and all her friends joined
against the girl. Miriam had no friend of her
own, only Paul. But she did not suffer so
much, because she despised the triviality of
these other people.

And Paul hated her because, somehow,
she spoilt his ease and naturalness. And he
writhed himself with a feeling of humiliation.

Chapter 8: STRIFE IN LOVE

ARTHUR finished his apprenticeship, and
got a job on the electrical plant at Minton Pit.
He earned very little, but had a good chance
of getting on. But he was wild and restless.
He did not drink nor gamble. Yet he
somehow contrived to get into endless
scrapes, always through some hot-headed
thoughtlessness. Either he went rabbiting in
the woods, like a poacher, or he stayed in
Nottingham all night instead of coming
home, or he miscalculated his dive into the
canal at Bestwood, and scored his chest
into one mass of wounds on the raw stones
and tins at the bottom.

He had not been at his work many months
when again he did not come home one
night.

"Do you know where Arthur is?" asked Paul
at breakfast.

"I do not," replied his mother.

"He is a fool," said Paul. "And if he DID
anything I shouldn't mind. But no, he simply
can't come away from a game of whist, or
else he must see a girl home from the
skating-rink—quite proprietously—and so
can't get home. He's a fool."

"I don't know that it would make it any better
if he did something to make us all
ashamed," said Mrs. Morel.

"Well, I should respect him more," said Paul.

"I very much doubt it," said his mother coldly.

They went on with breakfast.

"Are you fearfully fond of him?" Paul asked
his mother.

"What do you ask that for?"

"Because they say a woman always like the
youngest best."

"She may do—but I don't. No, he wearies
me."

"And you'd actually rather he was good?"

"I'd rather he showed some of a man's
common sense."

Paul was raw and irritable. He also wearied
his mother very often. She saw the sunshine
going out of him, and she resented it.

As they were finishing breakfast came the
postman with a letter from Derby. Mrs.
Morel screwed up her eyes to look at the
address.

"Give it here, blind eye!" exclaimed her son,
snatching it away from her.

She started, and almost boxed his ears.

"It's from your son, Arthur," he said.

"What now—-!" cried Mrs. Morel.

"'My dearest Mother,'" Paul read, "'I don't
know what made me such a fool. I want you
to come and fetch me back from here. I
came with Jack Bredon yesterday, instead
of going to work, and enlisted. He said he
was sick of wearing the seat of a stool out,

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and, like the idiot you know I am, I came
away with him.

"'I have taken the King's shilling, but
perhaps if you came for me they would let
me go back with you. I was a fool when I did
it. I don't want to be in the army. My dear
mother, I am nothing but a trouble to you. But
if you get me out of this, I promise I will have
more sense and consideration. . . .'"

Mrs. Morel sat down in her rocking-chair.

"Well, NOW," she cried, "let him stop!"

"Yes," said Paul, "let him stop."

There was silence. The mother sat with her
hands folded in her apron, her face set,
thinking.

"If I'm not SICK!" she cried suddenly. "Sick!"

"Now," said Paul, beginning to frown,
"you're not going to worry your soul out
about this, do you hear."

"I suppose I'm to take it as a blessing," she
flashed, turning on her son.

"You're not going to mount it up to a tragedy,
so there," he retorted.

"The FOOL!—the young fool!" she cried.

"He'll look well in uniform," said Paul
irritatingly.

His mother turned on him like a fury.

"Oh, will he!" she cried. "Not in my eyes!"

"He should get in a cavalry regiment; he'll
have the time of his life, and will look an
awful swell."

"Swell!—SWELL!—a mighty swell idea
indeed!—a common soldier!"

"Well," said Paul, "what am I but a common
clerk?"

"A good deal, my boy!" cried his mother,
stung.

"What?"

"At any rate, a MAN, and not a thing in a red
coat."

"I shouldn't mind being in a red coat—or dark
blue, that would suit me better—if they didn't
boss me about too much."

But his mother had ceased to listen.

"Just as he was getting on, or might have
been getting on, at his job—a young
nuisance—here he goes and ruins himself for
life. What good will he be, do you think, after
THIS?"

"It may lick him into shape beautifully," said
Paul.

"Lick him into shape!—lick what marrow
there WAS out of his bones. A SOLDIER!—a
common SOLDIER!—nothing but a body that
makes movements when it hears a shout!
It's a fine thing!"

"I can't understand why it upsets you," said
Paul.

"No, perhaps you can't. But I understand";
and she sat back in her chair, her chin in one
hand, holding her elbow with the other,
brimmed up with wrath and chagrin.

"And shall you go to Derby?" asked Paul.

"Yes."

-138-

"It's no good."

"I'll see for myself."

"And why on earth don't you let him stop. It's
just what he wants."

"Of course," cried the mother, "YOU know
what he wants!"

She got ready and went by the first train to
Derby, where she saw her son and the
sergeant. It was, however, no good.

When Morel was having his dinner in the
evening, she said suddenly:

"I've had to go to Derby to-day."

The miner turned up his eyes, showing the
whites in his black face.

"Has ter, lass. What took thee there?"

"That Arthur!"

"Oh—an' what's agate now?"

"He's only enlisted."

Morel put down his knife and leaned back in
his chair.

"Nay," he said, "that he niver 'as!"

"And is going down to Aldershot tomorrow."

"Well!" exclaimed the miner. "That's a
winder." He considered it a moment, said
"H'm!" and proceeded with his dinner.
Suddenly his face contracted with wrath. "I
hope he may never set foot i' my house
again," he said.

"The idea!" cried Mrs. Morel. "Saying such a
thing!"

"I do," repeated Morel. "A fool as runs away
for a soldier, let 'im look after 'issen; I s'll do
no more for 'im."

"A fat sight you have done as it is," she said.

And Morel was almost ashamed to go to his
public-house that evening.

"Well, did you go?" said Paul to his mother
when he came home.

"I did."

"And could you see him?"

"Yes."

"And what did he say?"

"He blubbered when I came away."

"H'm!"

"And so did I, so you needn't 'h'm'!"

Mrs. Morel fretted after her son. She knew
he would not like the army. He did not. The
discipline was intolerable to him.

"But the doctor," she said with some pride
to Paul, "said he was perfectly
proportioned—almost exactly; all his
measurements were correct. He IS good-
looking, you know."

"He's awfully nice-looking. But he doesn't
fetch the girls like William, does he?"

"No; it's a different character. He's a good
deal like his father, irresponsible."

To console his mother, Paul did not go
much to Willey Farm at this time. And in the
autumn exhibition of students' work in the
Castle he had two studies, a landscape in

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water-colour and a still life in oil, both of
which had first-prize awards. He was highly
excited.

"What do you think I've got for my pictures,
mother?" he asked, coming home one
evening. She saw by his eyes he was glad.
Her face flushed.

"Now, how should I know, my boy!"

"A first prize for those glass jars—-"

"H'm!"

"And a first prize for that sketch up at Willey
Farm."

"Both first?"

"Yes."

"H'm!"

There was a rosy, bright look about her,
though she said nothing.

"It's nice," he said, "isn't it?"

"It is."

"Why don't you praise me up to the skies?"

She laughed.

"I should have the trouble of dragging you
down again," she said.

But she was full of joy, nevertheless. William
had brought her his sporting trophies. She
kept them still, and she did not forgive his
death. Arthur was handsome—at least, a
good specimen—and warm and generous,
and probably would do well in the end. But
Paul was going to distinguish himself. She
had a great belief in him, the more because

he was unaware of his own powers. There
was so much to come out of him. Life for her
was rich with promise. She was to see
herself fulfilled. Not for nothing had been her
struggle.

Several times during the exhibition Mrs.
Morel went to the Castle unknown to Paul.
She wandered down the long room looking
at the other exhibits. Yes, they were good.
But they had not in them a certain something
which she demanded for her satisfaction.
Some made her jealous, they were so
good. She looked at them a long time trying
to find fault with them. Then suddenly she
had a shock that made her heart beat. There
hung Paul's picture! She knew it as if it
were printed on her heart.

"Name—Paul Morel—First Prize."

It looked so strange, there in public, on the
walls of the Castle gallery, where in her
lifetime she had seen so many pictures.
And she glanced round to see if anyone had
noticed her again in front of the same
sketch.

But she felt a proud woman. When she met
well-dressed ladies going home to the
Park, she thought to herself:

"Yes, you look very well—but I wonder if
YOUR son has two first prizes in the Castle."

And she walked on, as proud a little woman
as any in Nottingham. And Paul felt he had
done something for her, if only a trifle. All his
work was hers.

One day, as he was going up Castle Gate,
he met Miriam. He had seen her on the
Sunday, and had not expected to meet her
in town. She was walking with a rather
striking woman, blonde, with a sullen
expression, and a defiant carriage. It was

-140-

strange how Miriam, in her bowed,
meditative bearing, looked dwarfed beside
this woman with the handsome shoulders.
Miriam watched Paul searchingly. His gaze
was on the stranger, who ignored him. The
girl saw his masculine spirit rear its head.

"Hello!" he said, "you didn't tell me you were
coming to town."

"No," replied Miriam, half apologetically. "I
drove in to Cattle Market with father."

He looked at her companion.

"I've told you about Mrs. Dawes," said
Miriam huskily; she was nervous. "Clara, do
you know Paul?"

"I think I've seen him before," replied Mrs.
Dawes indifferently, as she shook hands
with him. She had scornful grey eyes, a skin
like white honey, and a full mouth, with a
slightly lifted upper lip that did not know
whether it was raised in scorn of all men or
out of eagerness to be kissed, but which
believed the former. She carried her head
back, as if she had drawn away in
contempt, perhaps from men also. She
wore a large, dowdy hat of black beaver,
and a sort of slightly affected simple dress
that made her look rather sack-like. She
was evidently poor, and had not much taste.
Miriam usually looked nice.

"Where have you seen me?" Paul asked of
the woman.

She looked at him as if she would not
trouble to answer. Then:

"Walking with Louie Travers," she said.

Louie was one of the "Spiral" girls.

"Why, do you know her?" he asked.

She did not answer. He turned to Miriam.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the Castle."

"What train are you going home by?"

"I am driving with father. I wish you could
come too. What time are you free?"

"You know not till eight to-night, damn it!"

And directly the two women moved on.

Paul remembered that Clara Dawes was
the daughter of an old friend of Mrs. Leivers.
Miriam had sought her out because she had
once been Spiral overseer at Jordan's, and
because her husband, Baxter Dawes, was
smith for the factory, making the irons for
cripple instruments, and so on. Through her
Miriam felt she got into direct contact with
Jordan's, and could estimate better Paul's
position. But Mrs. Dawes was separated
from her husband, and had taken up
Women's Rights. She was supposed to be
clever. It interested Paul.

Baxter Dawes he knew and disliked. The
smith was a man of thirty-one or thirty-two.
He came occasionally through Paul's
corner—a big, well-set man, also striking to
look at, and handsome. There was a
peculiar similarity between himself and his
wife. He had the same white skin, with a
clear, golden tinge. His hair was of soft
brown, his moustache was golden. And he
had a similar defiance in his bearing and
manner. But then came the difference. His
eyes, dark brown and quick-shifting, were
dissolute. They protruded very slightly, and
his eyelids hung over them in a way that was
half hate. His mouth, too, was sensual. His
whole manner was of cowed defiance, as if
he were ready to knock anybody down who

-141-

disapproved of him—perhaps because he
really disapproved of himself.

From the first day he had hated Paul.
Finding the lad's impersonal, deliberate
gaze of an artist on his face, he got into a
fury.

"What are yer lookin' at?" he sneered,
bullying.

The boy glanced away. But the smith used
to stand behind the counter and talk to Mr.
Pappleworth. His speech was dirty, with a
kind of rottenness. Again he found the youth
with his cool, critical gaze fixed on his face.
The smith started round as if he had been
stung.

"What'r yer lookin' at, three hap'orth o'
pap?" he snarled.

The boy shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"Why yer—-!" shouted Dawes.

"Leave him alone," said Mr. Pappleworth, in
that insinuating voice which means, "He's
only one of your good little sops who can't
help it."

Since that time the boy used to look at the
man every time he came through with the
same curious criticism, glancing away
before he met the smith's eye. It made
Dawes furious. They hated each other in
silence.

Clara Dawes had no children. When she had
left her husband the home had been broken
up, and she had gone to live with her
mother. Dawes lodged with his sister. In the
same house was a sister-in-law, and
somehow Paul knew that this girl, Louie
Travers, was now Dawes's woman. She
was a handsome, insolent hussy, who

mocked at the youth, and yet flushed if he
walked along to the station with her as she
went home.

The next time he went to see Miriam it was
Saturday evening. She had a fire in the
parlour, and was waiting for him. The
others, except her father and mother and
the young children, had gone out, so the two
had the parlour together. It was a long, low,
warm room. There were three of Paul's
small sketches on the wall, and his photo
was on the mantelpiece. On the table and
on the high old rosewood piano were bowls
of coloured leaves. He sat in the armchair,
she crouched on the hearthrug near his feet.
The glow was warm on her handsome,
pensive face as she kneeled there like a
devotee.

"What did you think of Mrs. Dawes?" she
asked quietly.

"She doesn't look very amiable," he replied.

"No, but don't you think she's a fine
woman?" she said, in a deep tone,

"Yes—in stature. But without a grain of taste. I
like her for some things. IS she
disagreeable?"

"I don't think so. I think she's dissatisfied."

"What with?"

"Well—how would you like to be tied for life to
a man like that?"

"Why did she marry him, then, if she was to
have revulsions so soon?"

"Ay, why did she!" repeated Miriam bitterly.

"And I should have thought she had enough
fight in her to match him," he said.

-142-

Miriam bowed her head.

"Ay?" she queried satirically. "What makes
you think so?"

"Look at her mouth—made for passion—and
the very setback of her throat—-" He threw
his head back in Clara's defiant manner.

Miriam bowed a little lower.

"Yes," she said.

There was a silence for some moments,
while he thought of Clara.

"And what were the things you liked about
her?" she asked.

"I don't know—her skin and the texture of
her—and her—I don't know—there's a sort of
fierceness somewhere in her. I appreciate
her as an artist, that's all."

"Yes."

He wondered why Miriam crouched there
brooding in that strange way. It irritated him.

"You don't really like her, do you?" he asked
the girl.

She looked at him with her great, dazzled
dark eyes.

"I do," she said.

"You don't—you can't—not really."

"Then what?" she asked slowly.

"Eh, I don't know—perhaps you like her
because she's got a grudge against men."

That was more probably one of his own
reasons for liking Mrs. Dawes, but this did

not occur to him. They were silent. There
had come into his forehead a knitting of the
brows which was becoming habitual with
him, particularly when he was with Miriam.
She longed to smooth it away, and she was
afraid of it. It seemed the stamp of a man
who was not her man in Paul Morel.

There were some crimson berries among
the leaves in the bowl. He reached over and
pulled out a bunch.

"If you put red berries in your hair," he said,
"why would you look like some witch or
priestess, and never like a reveller?"

She laughed with a naked, painful sound.

"I don't know," she said.

His vigorous warm hands were playing
excitedly with the berries.

"Why can't you laugh?" he said. "You never
laugh laughter. You only laugh when
something is odd or incongruous, and then
it almost seems to hurt you."

She bowed her head as if he were scolding
her.

"I wish you could laugh at me just for one
minute—just for one minute. I feel as if it
would set something free."

"But"—and she looked up at him with eyes
frightened and struggling—"I do laugh at you—I
DO."

"Never! There's always a kind of intensity.
When you laugh I could always cry; it seems
as if it shows up your suffering. Oh, you
make me knit the brows of my very soul and
cogitate."

Slowly she shook her head despairingly.

-143-

"I'm sure I don't want to," she said.

"I'm so damned spiritual with YOU always!"
he cried.

She remained silent, thinking, "Then why
don't you be otherwise." But he saw her
crouching, brooding figure, and it seemed
to tear him in two.

"But, there, it's autumn," he said, "and
everybody feels like a disembodied spirit
then."

There was still another silence. This
peculiar sadness between them thrilled her
soul. He seemed so beautiful with his eyes
gone dark, and looking as if they were deep
as the deepest well.

"You make me so spiritual!" he lamented.
"And I don't want to be spiritual."

She took her finger from her mouth with a
little pop, and looked up at him almost
challenging. But still her soul was naked in
her great dark eyes, and there was the
same yearning appeal upon her. If he could
have kissed her in abstract purity he would
have done so. But he could not kiss her
thus—and she seemed to leave no other way.
And she yearned to him.

He gave a brief laugh.

"Well," he said, "get that French and we'll do
some—some Verlaine."

"Yes," she said in a deep tone, almost of
resignation. And she rose and got the
books. And her rather red, nervous hands
looked so pitiful, he was mad to comfort her
and kiss her. But then be dared not—or could
not. There was something prevented him.
His kisses were wrong for her. They
continued the reading till ten o'clock, when

they went into the kitchen, and Paul was
natural and jolly again with the father and
mother. His eyes were dark and shining;
there was a kind of fascination about him.

When he went into the barn for his bicycle he
found the front wheel punctured.

"Fetch me a drop of water in a bowl," he
said to her. "I shall be late, and then I s'll
catch it."

He lighted the hurricane lamp, took off his
coat, turned up the bicycle, and set speedily
to work. Miriam came with the bowl of water
and stood close to him, watching. She loved
to see his hands doing things. He was slim
and vigorous, with a kind of easiness even
in his most hasty movements. And busy at
his work he seemed to forget her. She loved
him absorbedly. She wanted to run her
hands down his sides. She always wanted
to embrace him, so long as he did not want
her.

"There!" he said, rising suddenly. "Now,
could you have done it quicker?"

"No!" she laughed.

He straightened himself. His back was
towards her. She put her two hands on his
sides, and ran them quickly down.

"You are so FINE!" she said.

He laughed, hating her voice, but his blood
roused to a wave of flame by her hands.
She did not seem to realise HIM in all this.
He might have been an object. She never
realised the male he was.

He lighted his bicycle-lamp, bounced the
machine on the barn floor to see that the
tyres were sound, and buttoned his coat.

-144-

"That's all right!" he said.

She was trying the brakes, that she knew
were broken.

"Did you have them mended?" she asked.

"No!"

"But why didn't you?"

"The back one goes on a bit."

"But it's not safe."

"I can use my toe."

"I wish you'd had them mended," she
murmured.

"Don't worry—come to tea tomorrow, with
Edgar."

"Shall we?"

"Do—about four. I'll come to meet you."

"Very well."

She was pleased. They went across the
dark yard to the gate. Looking across, he
saw through the uncurtained window of the
kitchen the heads of Mr. and Mrs. Leivers in
the warm glow. It looked very cosy. The
road, with pine trees, was quite black in
front.

"Till tomorrow," he said, jumping on his
bicycle.

"You'll take care, won't you?" she pleaded.

"Yes."

His voice already came out of the darkness.
She stood a moment watching the light from

his lamp race into obscurity along the
ground. She turned very slowly indoors.
Orion was wheeling up over the wood, his
dog twinkling after him, half smothered. For
the rest the world was full of darkness, and
silent, save for the breathing of cattle in their
stalls. She prayed earnestly for his safety
that night. When he left her, she often lay in
anxiety, wondering if he had got home
safely.

He dropped down the hills on his bicycle.
The roads were greasy, so he had to let it
go. He felt a pleasure as the machine
plunged over the second, steeper drop in
the hill. "Here goes!" he said. It was risky,
because of the curve in the darkness at the
bottom, and because of the brewers'
waggons with drunken waggoners asleep.
His bicycle seemed to fall beneath him, and
he loved it. Recklessness is almost a man's
revenge on his woman. He feels he is not
valued, so he will risk destroying himself to
deprive her altogether.

The stars on the lake seemed to leap like
grasshoppers, silver upon the blackness,
as he spun past. Then there was the long
climb home.

"See, mother!" he said, as he threw her the
berries and leaves on to the table.

"H'm!" she said, glancing at them, then
away again. She sat reading, alone, as she
always did.

"Aren't they pretty?"

"Yes."

He knew she was cross with him. After a
few minutes he said:

"Edgar and Miriam are coming to tea
tomorrow."

-145-

She did not answer.

"You don't mind?"

Still she did not answer.

"Do you?" he asked.

"You know whether I mind or not."

"I don't see why you should. I have plenty of
meals there."

"You do."

"Then why do you begrudge them tea?"

"I begrudge whom tea?"

"What are you so horrid for?"

"Oh, say no more! You've asked her to tea,
it's quite sufficient. She'll come."

He was very angry with his mother. He knew
it was merely Miriam she objected to. He
flung off his boots and went to bed.

Paul went to meet his friends the next
afternoon. He was glad to see them
coming. They arrived home at about four
o'clock. Everywhere was clean and still for
Sunday afternoon. Mrs. Morel sat in her
black dress and black apron. She rose to
meet the visitors. With Edgar she was
cordial, but with Miriam cold and rather
grudging. Yet Paul thought the girl looked so
nice in her brown cashmere frock.

He helped his mother to get the tea ready.
Miriam would have gladly proffered, but
was afraid. He was rather proud of his
home. There was about it now, he thought,
a certain distinction. The chairs were only
wooden, and the sofa was old. But the
hearthrug and cushions were cosy; the

pictures were prints in good taste; there
was a simplicity in everything, and plenty of
books. He was never ashamed in the least
of his home, nor was Miriam of hers,
because both were what they should be,
and warm. And then he was proud of the
table; the china was pretty, the cloth was
fine. It did not matter that the spoons were
not silver nor the knives ivory-handled;
everything looked nice. Mrs. Morel had
managed wonderfully while her children
were growing up, so that nothing was out of
place.

Miriam talked books a little. That was her
unfailing topic. But Mrs. Morel was not
cordial, and turned soon to Edgar.

At first Edgar and Miriam used to go into
Mrs. Morel's pew. Morel never went to
chapel, preferring the public-house. Mrs.
Morel, like a little champion, sat at the head
of her pew, Paul at the other end; and at first
Miriam sat next to him. Then the chapel was
like home. It was a pretty place, with dark
pews and slim, elegant pillars, and flowers.
And the same people had sat in the same
places ever since he was a boy. It was
wonderfully sweet and soothing to sit there
for an hour and a half, next to Miriam, and
near to his mother, uniting his two loves
under the spell of the place of worship. Then
he felt warm and happy and religious at
once. And after chapel he walked home
with Miriam, whilst Mrs. Morel spent the rest
of the evening with her old friend, Mrs.
Burns. He was keenly alive on his walks on
Sunday nights with Edgar and Miriam. He
never went past the pits at night, by the
lighted lamp-house, the tall black
headstocks and lines of trucks, past the
fans spinning slowly like shadows, without
the feeling of Miriam returning to him, keen
and almost unbearable.

She did not very long occupy the Morels'

-146-

pew. Her father took one for themselves
once more. It was under the little gallery,
opposite the Morels'. When Paul and his
mother came in the chapel the Leivers's
pew was always empty. He was anxious for
fear she would not come: it was so far, and
there were so many rainy Sundays. Then,
often very late indeed, she came in, with her
long stride, her head bowed, her face
hidden under her bat of dark green velvet.
Her face, as she sat opposite, was always
in shadow. But it gave him a very keen
feeling, as if all his soul stirred within him, to
see her there. It was not the same glow,
happiness, and pride, that he felt in having
his mother in charge: something more
wonderful, less human, and tinged to
intensity by a pain, as if there were
something he could not get to.

At this time he was beginning to question
the orthodox creed. He was twenty-one,
and she was twenty. She was beginning to
dread the spring: he became so wild, and
hurt her so much. All the way he went cruelly
smashing her beliefs. Edgar enjoyed it. He
was by nature critical and rather
dispassionate. But Miriam suffered
exquisite pain, as, with an intellect like a
knife, the man she loved examined her
religion in which she lived and moved and
had her being. But he did not spare her. He
was cruel. And when they went alone he
was even more fierce, as if he would kill her
soul. He bled her beliefs till she almost lost
consciousness.

"She exults—she exults as she carries him off
from me," Mrs. Morel cried in her heart
when Paul had gone. "She's not like an
ordinary woman, who can leave me my
share in him. She wants to absorb him. She
wants to draw him out and absorb him till
there is nothing left of him, even for himself.
He will never be a man on his own feet—she
will suck him up." So the mother sat, and

battled and brooded bitterly.

And he, coming home from his walks with
Miriam, was wild with torture. He walked
biting his lips and with clenched fists, going
at a great rate. Then, brought up against a
stile, he stood for some minutes, and did
not move. There was a great hollow of
darkness fronting him, and on the black
upslopes patches of tiny lights, and in the
lowest trough of the night, a flare of the pit. It
was all weird and dreadful. Why was he torn
so, almost bewildered, and unable to
move? Why did his mother sit at home and
suffer? He knew she suffered badly. But
why should she? And why did he hate
Miriam, and feel so cruel towards her, at the
thought of his mother. If Miriam caused his
mother suffering, then he hated her—and he
easily hated her. Why did she make him feel
as if he were uncertain of himself, insecure,
an indefinite thing, as if he had not sufficient
sheathing to prevent the night and the space
breaking into him? How he hated her! And
then, what a rush of tenderness and
humility!

Suddenly he plunged on again, running
home. His mother saw on him the marks of
some agony, and she said nothing. But he
had to make her talk to him. Then she was
angry with him for going so far with Miriam.

"Why don't you like her, mother?" he cried in
despair.

"I don't know, my boy," she replied
piteously. "I'm sure I've tried to like her. I've
tried and tried, but I can't—I can't!"

And he felt dreary and hopeless between
the two.

Spring was the worst time. He was
changeable, and intense and cruel. So he
decided to stay away from her. Then came

-147-

the hours when he knew Miriam was
expecting him. His mother watched him
growing restless. He could not go on with
his work. He could do nothing. It was as if
something were drawing his soul out
towards Willey Farm. Then he put on his hat
and went, saying nothing. And his mother
knew he was gone. And as soon as he was
on the way he sighed with relief. And when
he was with her he was cruel again.

One day in March he lay on the bank of
Nethermere, with Miriam sitting beside him.
It was a glistening, white-and-blue day. Big
clouds, so brilliant, went by overhead, while
shadows stole along on the water. The clear
spaces in the sky were of clean, cold blue.
Paul lay on his back in the old grass, looking
up. He could not bear to look at Miriam. She
seemed to want him, and he resisted. He
resisted all the time. He wanted now to give
her passion and tenderness, and he could
not. He felt that she wanted the soul out of
his body, and not him. All his strength and
energy she drew into herself through some
channel which united them. She did not
want to meet him, so that there were two of
them, man and woman together. She
wanted to draw all of him into her. It urged
him to an intensity like madness, which
fascinated him, as drug-taking might.

He was discussing Michael Angelo. It felt to
her as if she were fingering the very
quivering tissue, the very protoplasm of life,
as she heard him. It gave her deepest
satisfaction. And in the end it frightened her.
There he lay in the white intensity of his
search, and his voice gradually filled her
with fear, so level it was, almost inhuman,
as if in a trance.

"Don't talk any more," she pleaded softly,
laying her hand on his forehead.

He lay quite still, almost unable to move. His

body was somewhere discarded.

"Why not? Are you tired?"

"Yes, and it wears you out."

He laughed shortly, realising.

"Yet you always make me like it," he said.

"I don't wish to," she said, very low.

"Not when you've gone too far, and you feel
you can't bear it. But your unconscious self
always asks it of me. And I suppose I want
it."

He went on, in his dead fashion:

"If only you could want ME, and not want
what I can reel off for you! "

"I!" she cried bitterly—"I! Why, when would you
let me take you?"

"Then it's my fault," he said, and, gathering
himself together, he got up and began to
talk trivialities. He felt insubstantial. In a
vague way he hated her for it. And he knew
he was as much to blame himself. This,
however, did not prevent his hating her.

One evening about this time he had walked
along the home road with her. They stood by
the pasture leading down to the wood,
unable to part. As the stars came out the
clouds closed. They had glimpses of their
own constellation, Orion, towards the west.
His jewels glimmered for a moment, his
dog ran low, struggling with difficulty
through the spume of cloud.

Orion was for them chief in significance
among the constellations. They had gazed
at him in their strange, surcharged hours of
feeling, until they seemed themselves to live

-148-

in every one of his stars. This evening Paul
had been moody and perverse. Orion had
seemed just an ordinary constellation to
him. He had fought against his glamour and
fascination. Miriam was watching her
lover's mood carefully. But he said nothing
that gave him away, till the moment came to
part, when he stood frowning gloomily at the
gathered clouds, behind which the great
constellation must be striding still.

There was to be a little party at his house the
next day, at which she was to attend.

"I shan't come and meet you," he said.

"Oh, very well; it's not very nice out," she
replied slowly.

"It's not that—only they don't like me to. They
say I care more for you than for them. And
you understand, don't you? You know it's
only friendship."

Miriam was astonished and hurt for him. It
had cost him an effort. She left him, wanting
to spare him any further humiliation. A fine
rain blew in her face as she walked along
the road. She was hurt deep down; and she
despised him for being blown about by any
wind of authority. And in her heart of hearts,
unconsciously, she felt that he was trying to
get away from her. This she would never
have acknowledged. She pitied him.

At this time Paul became an important
factor in Jordan's warehouse. Mr.
Pappleworth left to set up a business of his
own, and Paul remained with Mr. Jordan as
Spiral overseer. His wages were to be
raised to thirty shillings at the year-end, if
things went well.

Still on Friday night Miriam often came
down for her French lesson. Paul did not go
so frequently to Willey Farm, and she

grieved at the thought of her education's
coming to end; moreover, they both loved to
be together, in spite of discords. So they
read Balzac, and did compositions, and felt
highly cultured.

Friday night was reckoning night for the
miners. Morel "reckoned"—shared up the
money of the stall—either in the New Inn at
Bretty or in his own house, according as his
fellow-butties wished. Barker had turned a
non-drinker, so now the men reckoned at
Morel's house.

Annie, who had been teaching away, was
at home again. She was still a tomboy; and
she was engaged to be married. Paul was
studying design.

Morel was always in good spirits on Friday
evening, unless the week's earnings were
small. He bustled immediately after his
dinner, prepared to get washed. It was
decorum for the women to absent
themselves while the men reckoned.
Women were not supposed to spy into such
a masculine privacy as the butties'
reckoning, nor were they to know the exact
amount of the week's earnings. So, whilst
her father was spluttering in the scullery,
Annie went out to spend an hour with a
neighbour. Mrs. Morel attended to her
baking.

"Shut that doo-er!" bawled Morel furiously.

Annie banged it behind her, and was gone.

"If tha oppens it again while I'm weshin' me,
I'll ma'e thy jaw rattle," he threatened from
the midst of his soap-suds. Paul and the
mother frowned to hear him.

Presently he came running out of the
scullery, with the soapy water dripping from
him, dithering with cold.

-149-

"Oh, my sirs!" he said. "Wheer's my towel?"

It was hung on a chair to warm before the
fire, otherwise he would have bullied and
blustered. He squatted on his heels before
the hot baking-fire to dry himself.

"F-ff-f!" he went, pretending to shudder
with cold.

"Goodness, man, don't be such a kid!" said
Mrs. Morel. "It's NOT cold."

"Thee strip thysen stark nak'd to wesh thy
flesh i' that scullery," said the miner, as he
rubbed his hair; "nowt b'r a ice-'ouse!"

"And I shouldn't make that fuss," replied his
wife.

"No, tha'd drop down stiff, as dead as a
door-knob, wi' thy nesh sides."

"Why is a door-knob deader than anything
else?" asked Paul, curious.

"Eh, I dunno; that's what they say," replied
his father. "But there's that much draught i'
yon scullery, as it blows through your ribs
like through a five-barred gate."

"It would have some difficulty in blowing
through yours," said Mrs. Morel.

Morel looked down ruefully at his sides.

"Me!" he exclaimed. "I'm nowt b'r a skinned
rabbit. My bones fair juts out on me."

"I should like to know where," retorted his
wife.

"Iv'ry-wheer! I'm nobbut a sack o' faggots."

Mrs. Morel laughed. He had still a
wonderfully young body, muscular, without

any fat. His skin was smooth and clear. It
might have been the body of a man of
twenty-eight, except that there were,
perhaps, too many blue scars, like tattoo-
marks, where the coal-dust remained
under the skin, and that his chest was too
hairy. But he put his hand on his side
ruefully. It was his fixed belief that, because
be did not get fat, he was as thin as a
starved rat. Paul looked at his father's thick,
brownish hands all scarred, with broken
nails, rubbing the fine smoothness of his
sides, and the incongruity struck him. It
seemed strange they were the same flesh.

"I suppose," he said to his father, "you had a
good figure once."

"Eh!" exclaimed the miner, glancing round,
startled and timid, like a child.

"He had," exclaimed Mrs. Morel, "if he didn't
hurtle himself up as if he was trying to get in
the smallest space he could."

"Me!" exclaimed Morel—"me a good figure! I
wor niver much more n'r a skeleton."

"Man!" cried his wife, "don't be such a
pulamiter!"

"'Strewth!" he said. "Tha's niver knowed me
but what I looked as if I wor goin' off in a
rapid decline."

She sat and laughed.

"You've had a constitution like iron," she
said; "and never a man had a better start, if
it was body that counted. You should have
seen him as a young man," she cried
suddenly to Paul, drawing herself up to
imitate her husband's once handsome
bearing.

Morel watched her shyly. He saw again the

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