earlier in the afternoon, and so, while Alice
was sitting curled up in a corner of the great
arm-chair, half talking to herself and half
asleep, the kitten had been having a grand
game of romps with the ball of worsted
Alice had been trying to wind up, and had
been rolling it up and down till it had all come
undone again; and there it was spread over
the hearth-rug, all knots and tangles, with
the kitten running after its own tail in the
middle.

"Oh, you wicked, wicked little thing!" cried
Alice, catching up the kitten, and giving it a
little kiss to make it understand that it was in
disgrace. "Really, Dinah ought to have
taught you better manners! You ought,
Dinah, you know you ought!" she added,
looking reproachfully at the old cat, and
speaking in as cross a voice as she could
manage and then she scrambled back into
the arm-chair, taking the kitten and worsted
with her, and began winding up the ball
again. But she didn't get on very fast, as she
was talking all the time, sometimes to the
kitten, and sometimes to herself. Kitty sat
very demurely on her knee, pretending to
watch the progress of the winding, and now
and then putting out one paw and gently
touching the ball, as if it would be glad to
help if it might.

"Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty?"
Alice began. "You'd have guessed if you'd
been up in the window with me only Dinah

-1-

came. Or let me see suppose each
punishment was to be going without a
dinner: then, when the miserable day came,
I should have to go without fifty dinners at
once! Well, I shouldn't mind that much! I'd far
rather go without them than eat them!

"Do you hear the snow against the
windowpanes, Kitty? How nice and soft it
sounds! Just as if some one was kissing the
window all over outside, I wonder if the
snow loves the trees and fields, that it
kisses them so gently? And then it covers
them up snug, you know, with a white quilt;
and perhaps it says, "Go to sleep, darlings,
till the summer comes again.' And when
they wake up in the summer, Kitty, they
dress themselves all in green, and dance
about whenever the wind blows oh, that's
very pretty!" cried Alice, dropping the ball of
worsted to clap her hands. "And I do so wish
it was true! I'm sure the woods look sleepy
in the autumn, when the leaves are getting
brown.

"Kitty, can you play chess? Now, don't
smile, my dear, I'm asking it seriously.
Because, when we were playing just now,
you watched just as if you understood it:
and when I said 'Check!' you purred! Well, it
was a nice check, Kitty, and really I might
have won, if it hadn't been for that nasty
Knight, that came wriggling down among
my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's pretend -" And
here I wish I could tell you half the things
Alice used to say, beginning with her
favourite phrase "Let's pretend." She had
had quite a long argument with her sister
only the day before all because Alice had
begun with "Let's pretend we're kings and
queens"; and her sister, who liked being
very exact, had argued that they couldn't
because there were only two of them, and
Alice had been reduced at last to say, "Well,
you can be one of them then, and I'll be all
the rest." And once she had really frightened

-2-

House, if you leave the door of our passage
as far as you can see, only you know it may
be quite different on beyond. Oh, Kitty! how
nice it would be if we could only get through
into Looking-glass House! I'm sure it's got,
oh! such beautiful things in it! Let's pretend
there's a way of getting through into it
somehow, Kitty. Let's pretend the glass has
got soft like gauze, so that we can get
through. Why, it's turning into a sort of mist
now, I declare! It'll be easy enough to get
through -" She was up on the chimney-
piece while she said this, though she hardly
knew how she had got there. And certainly
the glass was beginning to melt away, just
like a bright silvery mist.

In another moment Alice was through the
glass, and had jumped lightly down into the
Looking-glass room. The very first thing she
did was to look whether there was a fire in
the fireplace, and she was quite pleased to
find that there was a real one and lazing
away as brightly as the one she had left
behind. "So I shall be as warm here as I was
in the old room," thought Alice: "warmer, in
fact, because there'll be no one here to
scold me away from the fire. Oh, what fun
it'll be, when they see me through the glass
in here, and can't get at me!"

Then she began looking about, and noticed
that what could be seen from the old room
was quite common and uninteresting, but
that all the rest was as different as possible.
For instance, the pictures on the wall next
the fire seemed to be all alive, and the very
clock on the chimney-piece (you know you
can only see the back of it in the Looking-
glass) had got the face of a little old man,
and grinned at her.

"They don't keep this room so tidy as the
other" Alice thought to herself, as she
noticed several of the chessmen down in
the hearth among the cinders: but in another

-3-

"What volcano?" said the King, looking up
anxiously into the fire, as if he thought that
was the most likely place to find one.

"Blew me up," panted the Queen, who was
still a little out of breath. "Mind you come up
the regular way-don't get blown up!"

Alice watched the White King as he slowly
struggled up from bar to bar, till at last she
said, "Why, you'll be hours and hours getting
to the table,,at that rate. I'd far better help
you, hadn't I?" But the King took no notice of
the question: it was quite clear that he could
neither hear her nor see her.

So Alice picked him up very gently, and
lifted him across more slowly than she had
lifted the Queen, that she mightn't take his
breath away: but, before she put him on the
table, she thought she might as well dust
him a little, he was so covered with ashes.

She said afterwards that she had never
seen in all her life such a face as the King
made, when he found himself held in the air
by an invisible hand, and being dusted: he
was far too much astonished to cry out, but
his eyes and his mouth went on getting
larger and larger, and rounder and rounder,
till her hand shook so with laughing that she
nearly let him drop upon the floor.

"Oh! please don't make such faces, my
dear!" she cried out, quite forgetting that the
King couldn't hear her. "You make me laugh
so that I can hardly hold you! And don't keep
your mouth so wide open! All the ashes will
get into it there, now I think you're tidy
enough!" she added, as she smoothed his
hair, and set him down very carefully upon
the table near the Queen.

The King immediately fell flat on his back,
and lay perfectly still and Alice was a little
alarmed at what she had done, and went

-4-

:him, in case he fainted again), she turned
over the leaves, to find some part that she
could read," for it's all in some language I
don't know," she said to herself. It was like
this.

"JABBERWOCKY"


'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe

She puzzled over this for some time, but at
last a bright thought struck her. "Why, it's a
Looking-glass book of course! And if I hold
it up to a glass, the words will all go the right
way again." This was the poem that Alice
read.

"JABBERWOCKY"


'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the jabberwock, my son.
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and
through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And has thou slain the jabberwock?

-5-

twists! It's more like a corkscrew than a
path! Well, this turn goes to the hill, I suppose
no, it doesn't! This goes straight back to the
house! Well then, I'll try it the other way."

And so she did: wandering up and down,
and "trying turn after turn, but always coming
back to the house, do what she would.
Indeed, once, when she turned a corner
rather more quickly than usual, she ran
against it before she couId stop herself.

"It's no use talking about it," Alice said,
looking up at the house and pretending it
was arguing with her. "I'm not going in again
yet. I know I should have to get through the
Looking-glass again back into the old room
and there'd be an end of all my adventures!"

So, resolutely turning her back upon the
house she set out once more down the path,
determined to keep straight on till she got to
the hill. For a few minutes all went on well,
and she was just saying, "I really shall do it
this time -" when the path gave a sudden
twist and shook itself (as she described it
afterwards), and the next moment she
found herself actually walking in at the door.

"Oh, it's too bad!" she cried. "I never saw
such a house for getting in the way! Never!"

However, there was the hill full in sight, so
there was nothing to be done but start
again. This time she came upon a large
flower-bed, with a border of daisies, and a
willow-tree growing in the middle.

"O Tiger-lily," said Alice, addressing
herself to one that was waving gracefully
about in the wind, "I wish you could talk!"

"We can talk," said the Tiger-lily: "when
there's anybody worth talking to."

Alice was so astonished that she couldn't

-6-

Alice, "or they wouldn"t dare do it!"

"Never mind!" Alice said in a soothing tone,
and stooping down to the daisies, who
were just be ginning again, she whispered,
"If you don't hold your tongues, I'll pick you!"

There was silence in a moment, and several
of the pink daisies turned white.

"That's right!" said the Tiger-lily. "The
daisies are worst of all. When one speaks,
they all begin together, and it's enough to
make one wither to hear the way they go
on!"

"How is it you can all talk so nicely?" Alice
said, hoping to get it into a better temper by
a compliment. "I've been in many gardens
before, but none of the flowers could talk."

"Put your hand down, and feel the ground,"
said the Tiger-lily. "Then you'll know why."

Alice did so. "It's very hard," she said, "but I
don't see what that has to do with it."

"In most gardens," the Tiger-lily said, "they
make the beds too soft so that the flowers
are always asleep."

This sounded a very good reason, and Alice
was quite pleased to know it. "I never
thought of that before!" she said.

"It's my opinion you never think at all," the
Rose said in a rather severe tone.

"I never saw anybody that looked stupider,"
a Violet said, so suddenly, that Alice quite
jumped; for it hadn't spoken before.

"Hold your tongue!" cried the Tiger-lily. "As
if you ever saw anybody! You keep your
head under the leaves, and snore away
there till you know no more what's going on

-7-

grown a good deal!" was her first remark.
She had indeed: when Alice first found her
in the ashes, she had been only three inches
high and here she was, half a head taller
than Alice herself!

"It's the fresh air that does it," said the Rose:
"wonderfully fine air it is, out here."

"I think I'll go and meet her," said Alice, for,
though the flowers were very interesting,
she felt that it would be far grander to have a
talk with a real Queen.

"You can't possibly do that," said the Rose:
"I should advise you to walk the other way."
This sounded nonsense to Alice so she said
nothing, but set off at once towards the Red
Queen. To her surprise, she lost sight of her
in a moment, and found herself walking in at
the front-door again.

A little provoked, she drew back and, after
looking everywhere for the Queen (whom
she spied out at last, a long way off), she
thought she would try the plan, this time, of
walking in the opposite direction.

It succeeded beautifully. She had not been
walking a minute before she found herself
face to face with the Red Queen, and full in
sight of the hill she had been so long aiming
at.

"Where do you come from?" said the Red
Queen. "And where are you going? Look
up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your
fingers all the time."

Alice attended to all these directions, and
explained, as well as she could, that she
had lost her way.

"I don't know what you mean by your way,"
said the Queen : "all the ways about here
belong to me but why did you come out here

-8-

speaking, looking out in all directions over
the country and a most curious country it
was. There were a number of little brooks
running across from side to side, and the
ground between was divided up into
squares by a number of hedges, that
reached from brook to brook.

"I declare it's marked out just like a large
chessboard!" Alice said at last. "There
ought to be some men moving about
somewhere and so there are!" she added in
a tone of delight, and her heart began to
beat quick with excitement as she went on.
"It's a great game of chess that's being
played all over the world if this is the world at
all, you know. Oh,what fun it is! How I wish I
was one of them! don't mind being a Pawn,
if only I might join though of course I should
like to be a Queen, best.'

She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen
as she said this, but her companion only
smiled pleasantly, and said, "That's easily
managed. You can be the White Queen's
Pawn, if you like, as Lily's too young to play;
and you're in the Second Square to begin
with: when you get into the Eighth Square
you'll be a Queen -" Just at this moment,
somehow or other, they began to run.

Alice never could quite make out, in thinking
it over afterwards, how it was that they
began: all she remembers is, that they were
running hand in hand, and the Queen went
so fast that it was all she could do to keep
up with her: and still the Queen kept crying
"Faster!" but Alice felt she could not go
faster, though she had no breath to say so.
The most curious part of the thing was, that
the trees and the other things round them
never changed their places at all: however
fast they went, they never seemed to pass
anything. "I wonder if all the things move
along with us?" thought poor puzzled Alice.
And the Queen seemed to guess her

-9-

quite content to stay here only I am so hot
and thirsty! "

"I know what you'd like!" the Queen said
good-naturedly, taking a little box out of her
pocket, "Have a biscuit?"

Alice thought it would not be civil to say
"No," though it wasn't at all what she
wanted. So she took it, and ate it as well as
she could: and it was very dry; and she
thought she had never been so nearly
choked in all her life.

"While you're refreshing yourself," said the
Queen, "I'll just take the measurements."
And she took a ribbon out of her pocket,
marked in inches, and began measuring out
the ground, and sticking little pegs in here
and there.

"At the end of two yards," she said, putting
in a peg to mark the distance, "I shall give
you your directions have another biscuit?"

"No, thank you," said Alice: "one's quite
enough!"

"Thirst quenched, I hope?" said the Queen.

Alice did not know what to say to this, but
luckily the Queen did not wait for an answer,
but went on. "At the end of three yards I shall
repeat them for fear of your forgetting them.
At the end of four, I shall say good-bye. And
at the end of five, I shall go!"

She had got all the pegs put in by this time,
and Alice looked on with great interest as
she returned to the tree, and then began
slowly walking down the row.

At the two-yard peg she faced round, and
said, "A pawn goes two squares in its first
move So you'll go very quickly through the
Third Square by railway, I should think and

-10-

one, but I don't think it's got any name.
Principal towns why, what are those
creatures, making honey down there? They
can't be bees nobody ever saw bees a mile
off you know -" and for some minutes she
stood silent, watching one of them that was
bustling about among the flowers, poking
its proboscis into them, "just as if it was a
regular bee," thought Alice.

However, this was anything but a regular
bee: in fact, it was an elephant as Alice
soon found out, though the idea quite took
her breath away at first. "And what enomous
flowers they must be!" was her next idea.
"Something like cottages with the roofs
taken off, and stalks put to them and what
quantities of honey they must make! I think
I'll go down and no, I won't go just yet," she
went on, checking herself just as she was
beginning to run down the hill, and trying to
find some excuse for turning shy so
suddenly. "It'll never do to go down among
them without a good long branch to brush
them away and what fun it'll be when they
ask me how I liked my walk. I shall say "Oh, I
liked it well enough -' (here came the
favourite little toss of the head), "only it was
so dusty and hot, and the elephants did
tease so!' "

"I think I'll go down the other way," she said
after a pause: "and perhaps I may visit the
elephants later on. Besides, I do so want to
get into the Third Square!"

So with this excuse she ran down the hill
and jumped over the first six little brooks.

"Tickets, please!" said the Guard, putting
his head in at the window. In a moment
everybody was holding out a ticket : they
were about the same size as the people,
and quite seemed to fill the carriage.

"Now then! Show your ticket, child!" the

-11-

gentleman in white, shut his eyes and said
in a loud voice, "She ought to know her way
to the ticket-office even if she doesn't know
her alphabet!"

There was a Beetle sitting next the Goat (it
was a very queer set of passengers
altogether), and, as the rule seemed to be
that they should all speak in turn, he went on
with "She'll have to go back from here as
luggage!"

Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond
the Beetle, but a hoarse voice spoke next.
'"Change engines -" it said, and there it
choked and was obliged to leave off.

"It sounds like a horse," Alice thought to
herself.

And an extremely small voice, close to her
ear, said, You might make a joke on that
something about 'horse and hoarse', you
know"

Then a very gentle voice in the distance
said, "She must be labelled "Lass, with
care,' you know "

An after that other voices went on ("What a
number of people there are in the carriage!"
thought Alice), saying, "She must go by
post, as she's got a head on her -" "She
must be sent as a message by the telegraph
-" "She must draw the train herself the rest
of the way -" and so on.

But the gentleman dressed in white paper
leaned forwards and whispered in her ear,
"Never mind what they all say, my dear, but
take a return-ticket every time the train
stops."

"indeed I shan't!" Alice said rather
impatiently. "I don't belong to this railway
journey at all I was in a wood just now and I

-12-

carriage rise straight up into the air, and in
her fright, she caught at the thing nearest to
her hand, which happened to be the Goat's
beard.

But the beard seemed to melt away as she
touched it, and she found herself sitting
quietly under a tree while the Gnat (for that
was the insect she had been talking to) was
balancing itself on a twig just over her head,
and fanning her with its wings.

It certainly was a very large Gnat: "about the
size of a chicken," Alice thought. Still, she
couldn't feel nervous with it, after they had
been talking together so long.

" then you don't like all insects?" the Gnat
went on, as quietly as if nothing had
happened.

"I like them when they can talk," Alice said.

"None of them ever talk, where I come
from."

"What sort of insects do you rejoice in,
where you come from?" the Gnat inquired.

"I don't rejoice in insects at all," Alice
explained, "because I'm rather afraid of
them at least the , large kinds. But I can tell
you the names of some of them."

"Of course they answer to their names?" the
Gnat remarked carelessly.

"I never knew them to do it."

"What's the use of their having names," the
Gnat said, "if they won't answer to them?"

"No use to them," said Alice; "but it's useful
to the people that name them, I suppose. If
not, why do things have names at all?"

-13-

"Crawling at your feet," said the Gnat (Alice
drew her feet back in some alarm), "you
may observe a Bread-and-butter-fly. Its
wings are thin slices of bread-and-butter,
its body is a crust, and its head is a lump of
sugar."

"And what does it live on?"

"weak tea with cream in it."

A new difficulty came into Alice's head.
"Supposing it couldn't find any?" she
suggested.

"Then it would die, of course."

"But that must happen very often," Alice
remarked thoughtfully. "It always happens,"
said the Gnat.

After this, Alice was silent for a minute or
two, pondering. The Gnat amused itself
meanwhile by humming round and round
her head: at last it settled again and
remarked, "I suppose you don't want to lose
your name?"

"No, indeed," Alice said, a little anxious.

"And yet I don't know," the Gnat went on in a
careless tone: "only think how convenient it
would be if you could manage to go home
without it. For instance, if the governess
wanted to call you to your lesson, she would
call out , 'Come here ,' and there she would
have to leave off, because there wouldn't
be any name for her to call and of course
you wouldn't have to go, you know."

"That would never do, I'm sure," said Alice:
"the governess would never think of
excusing me lessons for that. If she couldn't.
remember my name, she'd call me 'Miss!'
as the servants do."

-14-

just fancy calling everything you met "Alice,'
till one of them answered! Only they
wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise."
She was rambling on in this way when she
reached the wood: it looked very cool and
shady.

"Well, at any rate it's a great comfort," she
said as she stepped under the trees, "after
being so hot, to get into the into the into
what?" she went on, rather surprised at not
being able to think of the word. "I mean to
get under the under the under this, you
know!" putting her hand on the trunk of the
tree. "What does it call itself? I do believe it's
got no name why, to be sure it hasn't!"

She stood silent for a minute, thinking: then
she suddenly began again. "Then it really
has happened, after all! And now, who am
I? I will remember, if I can! I'm determined to
do it!" But being detemined didn't help her
much, and all she could say, after a great
deal of puzzling, was, "L, I know it begins
with L!"

Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it
looked at Alice with its large eyes, but didn't
seem at all frightened. "Here then! Here
then!" Alice said, as she held out her hand
and tried to stroke it: but it only started back
a little, and then stood looking at her again.

"What do you call yourself?" the Fawn said at
last. Such a soft sweet voice it had!

"I wish I knew!" thought poor Alice. She
answered, rather sadly; Nothing, just now."

Alice thought, but nothing came of it.
"Please, would you tell me what you call
yourself?" she said timidly. "I think that might
help a little."

"I'll tell you, if you'll come a little further on,"
the Fawn said "I can't remember here."

-15-

THEY were standing under a tree each with
an arm round the other's neck, and Alice
knew which was which in a moment,
because one of them had "DUM'
embroidered on his collar, and the other
DEE.' "I suppose they've each got
"TWEEDLE' round at the back of the collar,"
she said to herself.

They stood so still that she quite forgot they
were alive, and she was just looking round
to see if the word "TWEEDLE' was written
at the back of each collar, when she was
startled by a voice coming from the one
marked "DUM.'

"If you think we're wax-works," he said,
"you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works
weren't made to be looked at for nothing.
Nohow!"

"Contrariwise" added the one marked
'DEE', "if you think we're alive, you ought to
speak."

"I'm sure I'm very sorry," was all Alice could
say; for the words of the old song kept
ringing through her head like the ticking of a
clock, and she could hardly help saying
them out loud:


"Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel."

"I know what you're thinking about," said
Tweedledum : "but it isn't so, nohow."

"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it
was so, it might be; and if it were so, it

-16-

"But it certainly was funny" (Alice said
afterwards, when she was telling her sister
the history of all this) "to find myself singing
"Here we go round the mulberry bush.' I
don't know when I began it, but somehow I
felt as if I'd been singing it a long, long
time!"

The other two dancers were fat, and very
soon out of breath. "Four times round is
enough for one dance," Tweedledum
panted out, and they left off dancing as
suddenly as they had begun: the music
stopped at the same moment.

They then let go of Alice's hands, and stood
looking at her for a minute: there was a
rather awkward pause, as Alice didn't
know how to begin a conversation with
people she had just been dancing with. "It
would never do to say "How d'ye do?' now,"
she said to herself: "we seem to have got
beyond that, somehow!"

"I hope you're not much tired?" she said at
last.

"Nohow. And thank you very much for
asking," said Tweedledum.

"So much obliged!" added Tweedledee.
"You like poetry?"

"Ye-es, pretty well some poetry," Alice said
doubtfully. "Would you tell me which road
leads out of the wood?"

"What shall I repeat to her?" said
Tweedledee looking round at Tweedledum
with great solemn eyes, and not noticing
Alice's question.

"'The Walrus and the Carpenter' is the
longest," Tweedledum replied, giving his
brother an affectionate hug. Tweedledee
began instantly:

-17-

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his, eye,
And shook his heavy head
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.
But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces
washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.
Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.
"The time has come,' the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings.'
'But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,
'Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!'
"No hurry!' said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.
'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,
'Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.'
'But not on us.!' the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
'After such kindness, that would be

-18-

herself in some alarm, at hearing something
that sounded to her like the puffng of a large
steam-engine in the wood near them,
though she feared it was more likely to be a
wild beast.

"Are there any lions or tigers about here?"
she asked timidly.

"lt's only the Red King snoring," said
Tweedledee.

"Come and look at him!" the brothers cried,
and they each took one of Alice's hands,
and led her up to where the King was
sleeping.

"Isn't he a lovely sight?" said Tweedledum.
Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He
had a tall red night-cap on, with a tassel,
and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of
untidy heap, and snoring loud "fit to snore
his head off!" as Tweedledum remarked.

"I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the
damp grass," said Alice, who was a very
thoughtful little girl.

"He's dreaming now," said Tweedledee:
"and what do you think he's dreaming
about?"

Alice said, "Nobody can guess that."

"Why, about you!" Tweedledee exclaimed,
clapping his hands triumphantly. "And if he
left off dreaming about you, where do you
suppose you'd be?"

"Where I am now, of course," said Alice.

"Not you!" Tweedledee retorted
contemptuously. "You'd be nowhere. Why,
you're only a sort of thing in his dream!"

"If that there King was to wake," added

-19-

"But it may rain outside?"

"It may if it chooses," said Tweedledee:
"we've no objection. Contrariwise."

"Selfish things!" thought Alice, and she was
just going to say "Good-night" and leave
them, when Tweedledum sprang out from
under the umbrella, and seized her by the
wrist.

"Do you see that?" he said in a voice
choking with passion, and his eyes grew
large and yellow all in a moment, as he
pointed with a trembling finger at a small
white thing lying under the tree.

"It's only a rattle," Alice said, after a careful
examination of the little white thing. "Not a
rattle-snake, you know," she added hastily,
thinking that he was frightened: "only an old
rattle quite old and broken."

"I knew it was!" cried Tweedledum,
beginning to stamp about wildly and tear his
hair. "It's spoilt, of course!" Here he looked
at Tweedledee, who immediately sat down
on the ground, and tried to hide himself
under the umbrella.

Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said in
a soothing tone, "You needn't be so angry
about an old rattle."

"But it isn't old!" Tweedledum cried, in a
greater fury than ever. "It's new, I tell you I
bought it yesterday my nice NEW RATTLE!"
and his voice rose to a perfect scream.

All this time Tweedledee was trying his best
to fold up the umbrella, with himself in it:
which was such an extraordinary thing to
do, that it quite took off Alice's attention
from the angry brother. But he couldn't quite
succeed, and it ended in his rolling over,
bundled up in the umbrella, with only his

-20-

much more like a saucepan.)

"Well yes a little," Alice replied gently.

"I'm very brave generally," he went on in a
low voice: "only to-day I happen to have a
headache."

"And I've got a toothache!" said
Tweedledee, who had overheard the
remark. "I'm far worse than you!"

"Then you'd better not fight to-day," said
Alice, thinking it a good opportunity to make
peace.

"We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't
care about going on long," said
Tweedledum. "What's the time now?"

Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said,
"Half-past four."

"Let's fight till six, and then have dinner,"
said Tweedledum.

"Very well," the other said, rather sadly: "and
she can watch us only you'd better not come
very close," he added: "I generally hit
everything I can see when I get really
excited."

"And I hit everything within reach," cried
Tweedledum, "whether I can see it or not!"

Alice laughed. "You must hit the trees pretty
often, I should think," she said.

Tweedledum looked round him with a
satisfied smile. "I don't suppose," he said,
"there'll be a tree left standing, for ever so
far round, by the time we've finished!"

"And all about a rattle!" said Alice, still
hoping to make them a little ashamed of
fighting for such a trifle.

-21-

The White Queen only looked at her in a
helpless frightened sort of way, and kept
repeating something in a whisper to herself
that sounded like "Bread-and-butter,
bread-and-butter," and Alice felt that if
there was to be any conversation at all, she
must manage it herself. So she began
rather timidly: "Am I addressing the White
Queen?"

"Well, yes, if you call that addressing," the
Queen said. "It isn't my notion of the thing, at
all. Alice thought it would never do to have
an argument at the very beginning of their
conversation, so she smiled and said, "If
your Majesty will only tell me the right way to
begin, I'll do it as well as I can."

"But I don't want it done at all!" groaned the
poor Queen. "I've been a-dressing myself
for the last two hours."

It would have been all the better, as it
seemed to Alice, if only she had got some
one else to dress her, she was so dreadfully
untidy. "Every single thing's crooked," Alice
thought to herself, "and she's all over pins!
May I put your shawl a little more straight for
you?" she added aloud.

"I don't know what's the matter with it!" the
Queen said, in a melancholy voice. "It's out
of temper, I think, I've pinned it here, and
I've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing
it!"

"It can't go straight, you know, if you pin it all
on one side," Alice said, as she gently put it
right for her; "and, dear me, what a state
your hair is in!" "The brush has got entangled
in it!" the Queen said with a deep sigh. "And
I lost the comb yesterday."

Alice carefully released the brush, and did
her best to get the hair into order. "Come,
you look rather better now!" she said, after

-22-

"What sort of things do you remember best?"
Alice ventured to ask.

"Oh, things that happened the week after
next." the Queen replied in a careless tone.
"For instance, now," she went on, sticking a
large piece of plaster on her finger as she
spoke, "there's the King's Messenger. He's
in prison now, being punished: and the trial
doesn't even begin till next Wednesday: and
of course the crime comes last of all."

"Suppose he never commits the crime?"
said Alice.

"That would be all the better, wouldn't it?"
the Queen said, as she bound the plaster
round her finger with a bit of ribbon.

Alice felt there was no denying that. "Of
course it would be all the better," she said:
"but it wouldn't be all the better his being
punished."

"You're wrong there, at any rate," said the
Queen: "were you ever punished?"

"Only for faults," said Alice.

"And you were all the better for it, I know!"
the Queen said triumphantly.

"Yes, but then I had done the things I was
punished for," said Alice: "that makes all the
difference."

"But if you hadn't done them," the Queen
said, "that wouId have been better still;
better, and better, and better!" Her voice
went higher with each "better," till it got quite
to a squeak at last.

Alice was just beginning to say, "There's a
mistake somewhere -" when the Queen
began screaming, so loud that she had to
leave the sentence unfinished. "Oh, oh, oh!"

-23-

"I wish I could manage to be glad!" the
Queen said. "Only I never can remember the
rule. You must be very happy, living in this
wood, and being glad whenever you like!"

"Only it is so very lonely here!" Alice said in a
melancholy voice; and at the thought of her
loneliness two large tears came rolling
down her cheeks.

"Oh, don't go on like that!" cried the poor
Queen, wringing her hands in despair.
"Consider what a great girl you are.
Consider what a long way you've come to-
day. Consider what o'clock it is. Consider
anything, only don't cry!"

Alice could not help laughing at this, even in
the midst of her tears. "Can you keep from
crying by considering things?" she asked.

"That's the way it's done," the Queen said
with great decision: "nobody can do two
things at once, you know. Let's consider
your age to begin with how old are you?"

"I'm seven and a half exactly." "You needn't
say 'exactly,'" the Queen remarked: "I can
believe it without that. Now I'll give you
something to believe. I'm just one hundred
and one, five months and a day."

"I can't believe that!" said Alice.

"Can't you?" the Queen said in a pitying
tone. "Try again: draw a long breath, and
shut your eyes."

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she
said: "one can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice,"
said the Queen. "When I was your age, I
always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why,
sometimes I've believed as many as six
impossible things before breakfast. There

-24-

can't look all round you unless you've got
eyes at the back of your head."

But these, as it happened, Alice had not
got; so she contented herself with turning
round, looking at the shelves as she came
to them.

The shop seemed to be full of all manner of
curious things but the oddest part of it all
was, that whenever she looked hard at any
shelf, to make out exactly what it had on it,
that particular shelf was always quite empty:
though the others round it were crowded as
full as they could hold.

"Things flow about so here!" she said at last
in a plaintive tone, after she had spent a
minute or so in vainly pursuing a large bright
thing, that looked sometimes like a doll and
sometimes like a work-box, and was
always in the shelf next above the one she
was looking at. "And this one is the most
provoking of all but I'll tell you what " she
added, as a sudden thought struck her, "I'll
follow it up to the very top shelf of all. It'll
puzzle it to go through the ceiling, I expect!"

But even this plan failed: the "thing" went
through the ceiling as quietly as possible, as
if it were quite used to it.

"Are you a child or a teetotum?" the Sheep
said as she took up another pair of needles.
"You'll make me giddy soon, if you go on
turning round like that." She was now
working with fourteen pairs at once, and
Alice couldn't help looking at her in great
astonishment.

"How can she knit with so many?" the
puzzled child thought to herself. "She gets
more and more like a porcupine every
minute!"

"Can you row?" the Sheep asked, handing

-25-

while the boat glided gently on, sometimes
among beds of weeds (which made the
oars stick fast in the water, worse than
ever), and sometimes under trees, but
always with the same tall river banks
frowning over their heads.

"Oh, please! There are some scented
rushes!" Alice cried in a sudden transport of
delight. "There really are and such
beauties!"

"You needn't say 'please' to me about 'em,"
the Sheep said, without looking up from her
knitting: "I didn't put 'em there, and I'm not
going to take 'em away."

"No, but I meant please, may we wait and
pick some?" Alice pleaded. "If you don't
mind stopping the boat for a minute."

"How am I to stop it?" said the Sheep. "If you
leave off rowing, it'll stop of itself."

So the boat was left to drift down the stream
as it would, till it glided gently in among the
waving rushes. And then the little sleeves
were carefully rolled up, and the little arms
were plunged in elbow-deep, to get hold of
the rushes a good long way down before
breaking them off and for a while Alice
forgot all about the Sheep and the knitting,
as she bent over the side of the boat, with
just the ends of her tangled hair dipping into
the water while with bright eager eyes she
caught at one bunch after another of the
darling scented rushes.

"I only hope the boat won't tipple over!" she
said to herself. "Oh, what a lovely one! Only I
couldn't quite reach it." And it certainly did
seem a little provoking ("almost as if it
happened on purpose," she thought) that,
though she managed to pick plenty of
beautiful rushes as the boat glided by, there
was always a more lovely one that she

-26-

"Are there many crabs here?" said Alice.

"Crabs, and all sorts of things," said the
Sheep: "plenty of choice, only make up your
mind. Now, what do you want to buy?"

"To buy!" Alice echoed in a tone that was
half astonished and half frightened for the
oars, and the boat, and the river, had
vanished all in a moment, and she was back
again in the little dark shop.

"I should like to buy an egg, please," she
said timidly. "How do you sell them?

"Fivepence farthing for one twopence for
two." the Sheep replied.

"Then two are cheaper than one?" Alice
said in a surprised tone, taking out her
purse.

"Only you must eat them both, if you buy
two," said the Sheep.

"Then I'll have one, please," said Alice, as
she put the money down on the counter. For
she thought to herself, "They mightn't be at
all nice, you know."

The Sheep took the money, and put it away
in a box: then she said, "I never put things
into people's hands that would never do you
must get it for yourself." And so saying, she
went off to the other end of the shop, and
set the egg upright on a shelf. "I wonder why
it wouldn't do?" thought Alice, as she
groped her way among the tables and
chairs, for the shop was very dark towards
the end. "The egg seems to get farther away
the more I walk towards it. Let me see, is
this a chair? Why, it's got branches, I
declare! How very odd to find trees growing
here! And actually here's a little brook!

Well, this is the very queerest shop I ever

-27-

looking away from her as usual, "have no
more sense than a baby!"

Alice didn't know what to say to this: it
wasn't at all like conversation, she thought,
as he never said anything to her; in fact, his
last remark was evidently addressed to a
tree so she stood and softly repeated to
herself:


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in his place
again."

"That last line is much too long for the
poetry," she added, almost out loud,
forgetting that Humpty Dumpty would hear
her.

"Don't stand chattering to yourself like that,"
Humpty Dumpty said, looking at her for the
first time, "but tell me your name and your
business."

"My name is Alice, but -"

"It's a stupid name enough!" Humpty
Dumpty interrupted impatiently. "What does
it mean?"

"Must a name mean something?" Alice
asked doubtfully.

"Of course it must," Humpty Dumpty said
with a short laugh: my name means the
shape I am and a good handsome shape it
is, too. With a name like yours, you might be
any shape, almost."

"Why do you sit out here all alone?"
said"Alice, not wishing to begin an
argument.

-28-

mouth might meet behind," she thought:
"and then I don't know what would happen
to his head! I'm afraid it would come off!"

"Yes, all his horses and all his men," Humpty
Dumpty went on. "They'd pick me up again
in a minute, they would! However, this
conversation is going on a little too fast: let's
go back to the last remark but one."

"I'm afraid I can't quite remember it," Alice
said very politely.

"In that case we may start afresh," said
Humpty Dumpty, "and it's my turn to choose
a subject -" ("He talks about it just as if it
was a game!" thought Alice.) "So here's a
question for you. How old did you say you
were?

Alice made a short calculation, and said,
"Seven years and six months.'

"Wrong!" Humpty Dumpty exclaimed
triumphantly. "You never said a word like it."

"I thought you meant "How old are you?'"
Alice explained.

"If I'd meant that, I'd have said it," said
Humpty Dumpty.

Alice didn't want to begin another
argument, so she said nothing.

"Seven years and six months!" Humpty
Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. "An
uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you'd
asked my advice, I'd have said, "Leave off
at seven' but it's too late now."

"I never ask advice about growing," Alice
said indignantly.

"Too proud?" the other enquired.

-29-

continued thoughtfully, as he crossed one
knee over the other and clasped his hands
round it, " for an un-birthday present."

"I beg your pardon?" Alice said with a
puzzled air.

"I'm not offended," said Humpty Dumpty.

"I mean, what is an un-birthday present?"

"A present given when it isn't your birthday,
of course.

Alice considered a little. "I like birthday
presents best," she said at last.

"You don't know what you're talking about!"
cried Humpty Dumpty. "How many days are
there in a year?"

"Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice.

"And how many birthdays have you?"

"One."

"And if you take one from three hundred and
sixty-five, what remains?"

"Three hundred and sixty-four, of course."

Humpty Dumpty looked doubtfuly. "I'd rather
see that done on paper," he said.

Alice couldn't help smiling as she took out
her memorandum-book, and worked the
sum for him:


365
1
364

Humpty Dumpty took the book, and looked
at it very carefully. "That seems to be done

-30-

verbs however, I can manage the whole lot!
Impenetrability! That's what I say!"

"Would you tell me, please," said Alice,
"what that means?"

"Now you talk like a reasonable child," said
Humpty Dumpty, looking very much
pleased. "I meant by "impenetrability' that
we've had enough of that subject, and it
would be just as well if you'd mention what
you meant to do next, as I suppose you don't
intend to stop here all the rest of your life."

"That's a great deal to make one word
mean," Alice said in a thoughtful tone.

"When I make a word do a lot of work like
that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it
extra."

"Oh!" said Alice. She was too much puzzled
to make any other remark.

Saturday night," Humpty Dumpty went on,
wagging his head gravely from side to side:
"for to get their wages, you know." (Alice
didn't venture to ask what he paid them
with; and so you see I can't tell you.)

"You seem very clever at explaining words,
Sir," said Alice. "Would you kindly tell me the
meaning of the poem called `Jabberwocky'
?"

"Let's hear it," said Humpty Dumpty. "I can
explain all the poems that ever were
invented and a good many that haven't been
invented just yet.'

This sounded very hopeful, so Alice
repeated the first verse:


"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

-31-

"Exactly so. Well, the "mimsy' is "flimsy and
miserable' (there's another portmanteau for
you). And a "borogove' is a thin shabby-
looking bird with its feathers sticking out all
round something like a live mop."

"And then "mome raths' ?" said Alice. "If I'm
not giving you too much trouble."

"Well, a "rath' is a sort of green pig: but
"mome' I'm not certain about. I think it's
short for "from home' meaning that they'd
lost their way, you

"And what does 'outgrabe' mean?"

"Well, 'outgribing' is something between
bellowing and whistling, with a kind of
sneeze in the middle: however, you'll hear it
done, maybe down in the wood yonder and
when you've once heard it you'll be quite
content. Who's been repeating all that hard
stuff to you?"

"I read it in a book," said Alice. "But I had
some poetry repeated to me, much easier
than that, by Tweedledee, I think."

"As to poetry, you know," said Humpty
Dumpty, stretching out one of his great
hands, "I can repeat poetry as well as other
folk if it comes to that -"

"Oh, it needn't come to that!" Alice hastily
said, hoping to keep him from beginning.

"The piece I'm going to repeat," he went on
without noticing her remark, "was written
entirely for your amusement."

Alice felt that in that case she really ought to
listen to it, so she sat down, and said
"Thank you" rather sadly.


"In winter when the fields are white,

-32-

'Why, what a temper you are in!'
I told them once, I told them twice:
They would not listen to advice.
I took a kettle large and new,
Fit for the deed I had to do.
My heart went hop, my heart went thump;
I filled the kettle at the pump.
Then some one came to me and said,
'The little fishes are in bed.'
I said to him, I said it plain,
"Then you must wake them up again.'
I said it very loud and clear;
I went and shouted in his ear."

Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a
scream as he repeated this verse, and
Alice thought with a shudder, "I wouldn't
have been the messenger for anything!"


"But he was very stiff and proud;
He said "You needn't shout so loud!'
And he was very proud and stiff;
He said, 'I'D go and wake them, if -'
I took a corkscrew from the shelf.
I went to wake them up myself.
And when I found the door was locked
I pulled and pushed and kicked and
knocked.
And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, but -"

There was a long pause.

"Is that all?" Alice timidly asked.

"That's all," said Humpty Dumpty.
"Goodbye."

This was rather sudden, Alice thought: but,
after such a very strong hint that she ought to
be going, she felt that it would hardly be civil
to stay. So she held out her hand. "Good-
bye, till we meet again!" she said as
cheerfully as she could.

-33-

She thought that in all her life she had never
seen soldiers so uncertain on their feet: they
were always tripping over something or
other, and whenever one went down,
several more always fell over him, so that
the ground was soon covered with little
heaps of men.

Then came the horses. Having four feet,
these managed rather better than the foot-
soldiers: but even they stumbled now and
then; and it seemed to be a regular rule that,
whenever a horse stumbled, the rider fell off
instantly. The confusion got worse every
moment, and Alice was very glad to get into
an open place, where she found the White
King seated on the ground, busily writing in
his memorandum-book.

"I've sent them all!" the King cried in a tone
of delight, on seeing Alice. "Did you happen
to meet any soldiers, my dear, as you came
through the wood?"

"Yes, I did," said Alice: "several thousand, I
should think."

"Four thousand two hundred and seven,
that's the exact number," the King said,
referring to his book. "I couldn't send all the
horses, you know, because two of them are
wanted in the game. And I haven't sent the
two Messengers, either. They've both gone
to the town. Just look along the road, and tell
me if you can see either of them."

"I see nobody on the road," said Alice.

"I only wish I had such eyes," the King
remarked in a fretful tone. "To be able to
see Nobody! And at that distance too! Why,
it's as much as I can do to see real people,
by this light!"

All this was lost on Alice, who was still
looking intently along the road, shading her

-34-

"This young lady loves you with an H," the
King said, introducing Alice in the hope of
turning off the Messenger's attention from
himself but It was no use the Anglo-Saxon
attitudes only got more extraordinary every
moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly
from side to side.

"You alarm me!" said the King. "I feel faint
give me a ham sandwich!"

On which the Messenger, to Alice's great
amusement, opened a bag that hung round
his neck, and handed a sandwich to the
King, who devoured it greedily.

"Another sandwich!" said the King.

"There's nothing but hay left now," the
Messenger said, peeping into the bag.

"Hay, then," the King faintly murmured.

Alice was glad to see that it revived him a
good deal. "There's nothing like eating hay
when you're faint," he remarked to her, as
he munched away.

"I should think throwing cold water over you
would be better," Alice suggested : " -or
some sal-volatile."

"I didn't say there was nothing better," the
King replied. "I said there was nothing like
it." Which Alice did not venture to deny.

"Who did you pass on the road?" the King
went on, holding out his hand to the
Messenger for some more hay.

"Nobody," said the Messenger.

"Quite right," said the King: "this young lady
saw him too. So of course Nobody walks
slower than you.

-35-

"Does the one that wins get the crown?" she
asked, as well as she could, for the long run
was putting her quite out of breath.

"Dear me, no!" said the King. "What an
idea!"

"Would you be good enough -" Alice panted
out, after running a little further, "to stop a
minute just to get one's breath again?"

"I'm good enough," the King said, "only I'm
not strong enough. You see, a minute goes
by so fearfully quick. You might as well try to
stop a Bandersnatch!"

Alice had no more breath for talking, so they
trotted on in silence, till they came in sight of
a great crowd, in the middle of which the
Lion and Unicorn were fighting. They were
in such a cloud of dust, that at first Alice
could not make out which was which: but
she soon managed to distinguish the
Unicorn by his horn.

They placed themselves close to where
Hatta, the other Messenger, was standing
watching the fight, with a cup of tea in one
hand and a piece of bread and butter in the
other.

"He's only just out of prison, and he hadn't
finished his tea when he was sent in,"
Haigha whispered to Alice: "and they only
give them oyster-shells in there so you see
he's very hungry and thirsty. How are you,
dear child?" he went on, putting his arm
affectionately round Hatta's neck.

Hatta looked round and nodded, and went
on with his bread-and-butter.

"Were you happy in prison, dear child?" said
Haigha.

Hatta looked round once more, and this

-36-

"That wood's full of them."

"But aren't you going to run and help her?"
Alice asked, very much surprised at his
taking it so quietly.

"No use, no use!" said the King. "She runs
so fearfully quick. You might as well try to
catch a Bandersnatch! But I'll make a
memorandum about her, if you like she's a
dear good creature," he repeated softly to
himself, as he opened his memorandum-
book. "Do you spell "creature' with a double
'e'?"

At this moment the Unicorn sauntered by
them, with his hands in his pockets. "I had
the best of it this time!" he said to the King,
just glancing at him as he passed.

"A little a little," the King replied, rather
nervously. "You shouldn't have run him
through with your horn, you know."

"It didn't hurt him" the Unicorn said
carelessly, and he was going on, when his
eye happened to fall upon Alice : he turned
round instantly, and stood for some time
looking at her with an air of the deepest
disgust.

"What is this?" he said at last.

"This is a child!" Haigha replied eagerly,
coming in front of Alice to introduce her, and
spreading out both his hands towards her in
an Anglo-Saxon attitude. "We only found it
to-day. It's as large as life, and twice as
natural!"

"I always thought they were fabulous
monsters!" said the Unicorn. "Is it alive?"

"It can talk," said Haigha, solemnly.

The unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and

-37-

"Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster,"
the Lion said, lying down and putting his
chin on his paws. "And sit down, both of
you" (to the King and the Unicorn) : "fair play
with the cake, you know!"

The king was evidently very uncomfortable
at having to sit down between the two great
creatures ; but there was no other place for
him.

"What a fight we might have for the crown,
now!" the Unicorn said, looking slyly up at
the crown, which the poor King was nearly
shakin off his head, he trembled so much.

"I should win easy," said the Lion.

"I'm not so sure of that," said the Unicorn.

"Why, I beat you all round the town, you
chicken!" the Lion replied angrily, half
getting up as he spoke.

Here the king interupted, to prevent the
quarrel going on: he was very nervous, and
his voice quite quivered. "Ali round the
town?" he said. "That's a good long way.
Did you go by the old bridge, or the market-
place? You get the best view by the old
bridge as he lay down again. "There was
too much dust to see anything. What a time
the Monster is, cutting up that cake!"

Alice had seated herself on the bank of a
little brook, with the great dish on her
knees',and 'wer"as provoking!" she said, in
reply to the Lion (she was getting quite used
to being called "the Monster)". "I've cut off
several slices already, but they always join
on again!"

"You don't know how to manage Looking-
glass cakes," the Unicorn remarked. "Hand
it round first, and cut it afterwards."

-38-

dream. Only I do hope it's my dream and not
the Red King's! I don't like belonging to
another person's dream," she went on in a
rather complaining tone: "I've a great mind
to go and wake him, and see what
happens!"

At this moment her thoughts were
interrupted by a loud shouting of "Ahoy!
Ahoy! Check!" and a Knight, dressed in
crimson armour, came galloping down
upon her, brandishing a great club. just as
he reached her, the horse stopped
suddenly: "You're my prisoner!" the Knight
cried, as he tumbled off his horse.

Startled as she was, Alice was more
frightened for him than for herself at the
moment, and watched him with some
anxiety as he mounted again. As soon as he
was comfortably in the saddle, he began
once more, "You're my -" but here another
voice broke in, "Ahoy! Ahoy! Check!" and
Alice looked round in some surprise for the
new enemy.

This time it was a White Knight. He drew up
at Alice's side, and tumbled off his horse
just as the Red Knight had done: then he got
on again, and the two Knights sat and
looked at each other without speaking.
Alice looked from one to the other in some
bewilderment.

"She's my prisoner, you know!" the Red-
Knight said at last.

"Yes, but then I came and rescued her!" the
White Knight replied.

"Well, we must fight for her, then," said the
Red Knight, as he took up his helmet (which
hung from the saddle, and was something
the shape of a horse's head), and put it on.

"You will observe the Rules of Battle, of

-39-

himself; however she managed to shake
him out of it at last.

"Now one can breathe more easily," said
the Knight, putting back his shaggy hair with
both hands, and turning nis gentle face and
large mild eyes to Alice. She thought she
had never seen such a strange-looking
soldier in all her life. He was dressed in tin
armour, which seemed to fit him very badly,
and he had a queer little deal box fastened
across his shoulders upside-down, and
with the lid hanging open. Alice looked at it
with great curiosity.

"I see you're admiring my little box," the
Knight said in a friendly tone. "It's my own
invention to keep clothes and sandwiches
in. You see I carry it upside-down, so that
the rain can't get in."

"But the things can get out," Alice gently
remarked. "Do you know the lid's open?"

"I didn't know it," the Knight said, a shade of
vexation passing over his face. "Then all the
things must have fallen out! And the box is
no use without them." He unfastened it as he
spoke, and was just going to throw it into
the bushes, when a sudden thought
seemed to strike , and he hung it carefully
on a tree. "Can you guess why I did that!" he
said to Alice.

Alice shook her head. "In hopes some bees
may make a nest in it then I should get the
honey."

"But you've got a bee-hive or something
like one fastened to the saddle," said Alice.

"Yes, it's a very good bee-hive," the Knight
said in a discontented tone, "one of the best
kind. But not a single bee has come near it
yet. And the other thing is a mouse-trap. I
suppose the mice keep the bees out or the

-40-

"Only in the usual way," Alice said, smiling.

"That's hardly enough," he said, anxiously.
"You see the wind is so very strong here. It's
as strong as soup."

"Have you invented a plan for keeping one's
hair from being blown off?" Alice enquired.

"Not yet," said the Knight. "But I've got a plan
for keeping it from falling off."

"I should like to hear it very much."

"First you take an upright stick," said the
Knight. "Then you make your hair creep up
it, Like a fruit-tree. Now the reason hair falls
off is because it hangs down things never
fall upwards, you know. It's my own
invention. You may try it if you like."

It didn't sound a comfortable plan, Alice
thought, and for a few minutes she walked
on in silence, puzzling over the idea, and
every now and then stopping to help the
poor Knight, who certainly was not a good
rider.

Whenever the horse stopped (which it did
very often), he fell off in front; and whenever
it went on again (which it generally did
rather suddenly), he fell off behind.
Otherwise he kept on pretty well, except that
he had a habit of now and then falling off
sideways; and as he generally did this on
the side on which Alice was walking, she
soon found that it was the best plan not to
walk quite close to the horse.

"I'm afraid you've not had much practice in
riding," she ventured to say, as she was
helping him up from his fifth tumble.

The Knight looked very much surprised, and
a little offended at the remark. "What makes
you say that?" he asked, as he scrambled

-41-

his arms round the horses' neck as he
spoke, just in time to save himself from
tumbling off again.

"Much more smoothly than a live horse,"
Alice said, with a little scream of laughter, in
spite of all she could do to prevent it.

"I'll get one," the Knight said thoughtfully to
himself. "One or two several."

There was a short silence after this; then the
night went on again. "I'm a great hand at
inventing things. Now, I daresay you
noticed, the last time you picked me up, that
I was looking thoughtful?"

"You were a little grave," said Alice.

"Well, just then I was inventing a new way of
getting over a gate would you like to hear
it?"

"Very much indeed," Alice said politely.

"I'll tell you how I came to think of it," said the
Knight. "You see, I said to myself, "The only
diffculty is with the feet: the head is high
enough already.' Now, first I put my head on
the top of the gate then the head's high
enough then I stand on my head then the feet
are high enough, you see then I'm over you
see."

"Yes, I suppose you'd be over when that
was done," Alice said thoughtfully: "but
don't you think it would be rather hard?"

"I haven't tried it yet," the Knight said,
gravely, "so I can't tell for certain but I'm
afraid it would be a little hard."

He looked so vexed at the idea, that Alice
changed the subject hastily. "What a curious
helmet you've got!" she said cheerfully. "Is
that your invention too?"

-42-

the bank.

The Knight looked surprised at the
question. "What does it matter where my
body happens to be?" he said. "My mind
goes on working all the same. In fact, the
more head-downwards I am, the more I
keep inventing new things."

"Now the cleverest thing that I ever did," he
went on after a pause, "was inventing a new
pudding during the meat-course."

"In time to have it cooked for the next
course?" said Alice. "Well, that was quick
work, certainly." "Well, not the next course,"
the Knight said in a slow thoughtful tone:
"no, certainly not the next course."

"Then it would have, to be the next day. I
suppose you wouldn't have two pudding-
courses in one dinner?"

"Well, not the next day," the Knight repeated
as before: "not the next day. In fact," he went
on, holding his head down, and his voice
getting lower and lower, "I don't believe that
pudding ever was cooked! In fact, I don't
believe that pudding ever will be cooked!
And yet it was a very clever pudding to
invent."

"What did you mean it to be made of?" Alice
asked, hoping to cheer him up, for he
seemed quite low-spirited about it.

"It began with blotting-paper," the Knight
answered with a groan.

"That wouldn't be very nice, I'm afraid -"

"Not very nice alone," he interrupted, quite
eagerly: "but you've no idea what a
difference it makes, mixing it with other
things such as gunpowder and sealing-
wax. And here I must leave you." Alice could

-43-

time with one hand, and with a faint smile
lighting up his gentle, foolish face, he
began.

Of all the strange things that Alice saw in her
journey Through the Looking-glass, this
was the one that she always remembered
most clearly. Years afterwards she could
bring the whole scene back again, as if it
had been only yesterday the mild blue eyes
and kindly smile of the Knight the setting sun
gleaming through his hair, and shining on
his armour in a blaze of light that quite
dazzled her the horse quietly moving about,
with the reins hanging loose on his neck,
cropping the grass at her feet and the black
shadows of the forest behind all this she
took in like a picture, as, with one hand
shading her eyes, she leant against a tree,
watching the strange pair, and listening, in a
half-dream, to the melancholy music of the
song.

"But the tune isn't his own invention," she
said to herself: "it's "I give thee all, I can no
more.'" She stood and listened very
attentively, but no tears came into her eyes.


"I'll tell thee everything I can;
There's little to relate.
I saw 'n aged aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
'Who are you, aged man?' I said.
'And how is it you live?'
And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve.
He said 'I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat:
I make them into mutton pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men,' he said,
'Who sail on stormy seas;
And that's the way I get my bread
A trifle, if you please.'
But I was thinking of a plan

-44-

Might drink my noble health.
And now, if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
I weep,for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know
Whose look was mild, whose speech was
slow,
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
That summer evening long ago
A sitting on a gate"

As the Knight sang the last words of the
ballad he gathered up the reins, and turned
his horse's head along the road by which
they had come. "You've only a few yards to
go," he said, "down the hill and over that little
brook and then you'll be a Queen but you'll
stay and see me off first?" he added as
Alice turned away with an eager look.

"I shan't be long. You'll wait and wave your
handkerchief when I get to that turn in the
road? I think it'll encourage me, you see."

"Of course I'll wait," said Alice: "and thank
you very much for coming so far and for the
song I liked it very much."

"I hope so," the Knight said doubtfully: "but
you didn't cry so much as I expected."

So they shook hands, and then the Knight
rode slowly away into the forest. "It won"t
take long to see him off, I expect," Alice
said to herself, as she stood watching him.
"There he goes! Right on his head as usual!

-45-

Queen," she said as she sat down again, "I
shall be able to manage it quite well in time."

Everything was happening so oddly that she
didn't feel a bit surprised at finding the Red
Queen and the White Queen sitting close to
her, one on each side: she would have liked
very much to ask them how they came there,
but she feared it would not be quite civil.
However, there would be no harm, she
thought, in asking if the game was over.
"Please, would you tell me -" she began,
looking timidly at the Red Queen.

"Speak when you're spoken to!" the Red
Queen sharply interrupted her.

"But if everybody obeyed that rule," said
Alice, who was always ready for a little
argument, "and if you only spoke when you
were spoken to, and the other person
always waited for you to begin, you see
nobody would ever say anything, so that -"

"Ridiculous!" cried the Queen. "Why, don't
you see, child -" here she broke off with a
frown, and after thinking for a minute,
suddenly changed the subject of the
conversation. "What do you mean by 'If you
really are a Queen'? What right have you to
call yourself so? You can't be a Queen, you
know, till you've passed the proper
examination. And the sooner we begin it,
the better."

"I only said 'if'!" poor Alice pleaded in a
piteous tone.

The two Queens looked at each other, and
the Red Queen remarked, with a little
shudder, "She says she only said 'if' -"

"But she said a great deal more than that!"
the White Queen moaned, wringing her
hands. "Oh, ever so much more than that!"

-46-

Alice.

"Lessons teach you to do sums, and things
of that sort."

"Can you do Addition?" the White Queen
asked.

"What's one and one and one and one and
one and one and one and one and one and
one?"

"I don't know," said Alice. "I lost count."

"She can't do Addition," the Red Queen
interrupted. "Can you do Subtraction? Take
nine from eight."

"Nine from eight I can't, you know," Alice
replied very readily: "but -"

"She can't do Subtraction," said the White
Queen. "Can you do Division? Divide a loaf
by a knife what's the answer to that?"

"I suppose -" Alice was beginning, but the
Red Queen answered for her. "Bread-and-
butter, of course. Try another Subtraction
sum. Take a bone from a dog. What
remains?"

Alice considered. "The bone wouldn't
remain, of course, if I took it and the dog
wouldn't remain; it would come to bite me
and I'm sure I shouldn't remain!"

"Then you think nothing would remain?" said
the Red Queen.

"I think that's the answer."

"Wrong, as usual," said the Red Queen; "the
dog's temper would remain."

"But I don't see how -"

-47-

"Well, it isn't picked at all," Alice explained:
"it's ground "

"How many acres of ground?" said the White
Queen. "You mustn't leave out so many
things."

"Fan her head!" the Red Queen anxiously
interupted. "She'll be feverish after so much
thinking."

So they set to work and fanned her with
bunches of leaves, till she had to beg them
to leave off, it blew her hair about so.

"She's all right again now," said the Red
Queen. "Do you know Languages? What's
the French for fiddle-de-dee ?"

"Fiddle-de-dee's not English," Alice
replied gravely.

"Who said it was?" said the Red Queen.

Alice thought she saw a way out of the
difficulty this time. "If you'll tell me what
language "fiddle-de-dee' is, I'll tell you the
French for it!" she exclaimed triumphantly.

But the Red Queen drew herself up rather
stiffly, and said, "Queens never make
bargains."

"I wish Queens never asked questions,"
Alice thought to herself.

"Don't let us quarrel," the White Queen said
in an anxious tone. "What is the cause of
lightning ?"

"The cause of lightning," Alice said very
decidedly, for she felt quite sure about this,
"is the thunder no, no!" she hastily corrected
herself.

"I meant the other way."

-48-

for a hippopotamus. Now, as it happened,
there wasn't such a thing in the house, that
morning."

"Is there generally ?" Alice asked in an
astonished tone.

"Well, only on Thursdays," said the Queen.

"I know what he came for," said Alice: "he
wanted to punish the fish, because -"

Here the White Queen began again. "It was
such a thunderstorm, you can't think!" ("She
never could, you know," said the Red
Queen.) "And part of the roof came off, and
ever so much thunder got in and it went
rolling round the room in great lumps and
knocking over the tables and things till I was
so frightened, I couldn't remember my own
name!"

Alice thought to herself, "I never should try to
remember my name in the middle of an
accident! Where would be the use of it?" But
she did not say this aloud, for fear of hurting
the poor Queen's feelings.

"Your Majesty must excuse her," the Red
Queen said to Alice, taking one of the White
Queen's hands in her own, and gently
stroking it: "she means well, but she can't
help saying foolish things, as a general
rule."

The White Queen looked timidly at Alice,
who felt she ought to say something kind,
but really couldn't think of anything.

"She never was really well brought up," the
Red Queen went on: "but it's amazing how
good-tempered she is! Pat her on the
head, and see how pleased she'll be!" But
this was more than Alice had courage to do.

"A little kindness and putting her hair in

-49-

could even make out words, and she
listened so eagerly that when the two great
heads suddenly vanished from her lap, she
hardly missed them.

She was standing before an arched
doorway, over which were the words
QUEEN ALICE in large letters, and on each
side of it there was a bell-handle ; one
marked "Visitors' Bell," and the other
"Servants' Bell."

"I'll wait till the song's over," thought Alice,
"and then I'll ring the the which bell must
ring?" she went on, very much puzzled by
the names. "I'm not a visitor, and I'm not a
servant. There ought to be one marked
"Queen,' you know -"

Just then the door opened a little way, and a
creature with a long beak put its head out for
a moment and said, "No admittance till the
week after next!" and shut the door again
with a bang.

Alice knocked and rang in vain for a long
time, but at last a very old Frog, who was
sitting under a tree, got up, and hobbled
slowly towards her : he was dressed in
bright yellow, and had enormous boots on.

"What is it now?" the Frog said in a deep
hoarse whisper.

Alice turned round, ready to find fault with
anybody. "Where's the servant whose
business it is to answer the door?" she
began angrily.

"Which door?" said the Frog.

Alice almost stamped with irritation at the
slow drawl in which he spoke. "This door, of
course!

The Frog looked at the door with his large

-50-

Then followed a confused noise of
cheering, and

Alice thought to herself, "Thirty times three
makes ninety. I wonder if anyone's
counting?" In a minute there was silence
again, and the same shrill voice, sang
another verse:


"`O Looking-glass creatures,' quoth Alice,
`draw near!
'Tis an honour to see me, a favour to hear:
'Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea
Along with the Red Queen, the White
Queen, and me!'"
Then came the chorus again:
"Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink,
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink;
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the
wine
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-
times-nine"

"Ninety-times-nine!" Alice repeated in
despair. "Oh, that'll never be done! I'd better
go in at once " and in she went, and there
was a dead silence the moment she
appeared.

Alice glanced nervously along the table, as
she walked up the large hall, and noticed
that there were about fifty guests, of all
kinds: some were animals, some birds, and
there were even a few flowers among them.
"I'm glad they've come without waiting to be
asked," she thought: "I should never have
known who were the right people to invite!"

There were three chairs at the head of the
table; the Red and White Queens had taken
two of them, but the middle one was empty.
Alice sat down, rather uncomfortable at the
silence, and longing for someone to speak.

At last the Red Queen began. "You've

-51-

wonder how you'd like it, if I were to cut a
slice out of you, you creature!"

Alice could only look at it and gasp.

"Make a remark," said the Red Queen: "it's
ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the
pudding!"

"Do you know, I've had such a quantity of
poetry repeated to me to-day," Alice
began, a little frightened at finding that, the
moment she opened her lips, there was
dead silence, and all eyes were fixed upon
her; "and it's a very curious thing, I think
every poem was about fishes in some way.
Do you know why they're so fond of fishes,
all about here?"

She spoke to the Red Queen, whose
answer was a little wide of the mark. "As to
fishes," she said, very slowly and solemnly,
putting her mouth close to Alice's ear, "her
White Majesty knows a lovely riddle all in
poetry all about fishes. Shall she repeat it?"

"Her Red Majesty's very kind to mention it,"
the White Queen murmured into Alice's
other ear, in a voice like the cooing of a
pigeon. "It would be such a treat! May I?"

"Please do," Alice said very politely. The
White Queen laughed with delight, and
stroked Alice's cheek. Then she began:


"`First the fish must be caught.'
That is easy: a baby, I think, could have
caught it.
`Next, the fsh must be bought.'
That is easy: a penny, I think, would have
bought it.
`Now cook me the fish!'
That is easy, and will not take more than a
minute.
`Let it lie in a dish!'

-52-

In fact it was rather difficult for her to keep in
her place while she made her speech: the
two Queens pushed her so, one on each
side, that they nearly lifted her up into the air:
"I rise to return thanks " Alice began: and she
really did rise as she spoke, several inches;
but she got hold of the edge of the table,
and managed to pull herself down again.

"Take care of yourself!" screamed the White
Queen, seizing Alice's hair with both her
hands. "Something's going to happen!"

And then (as Alice afterwards described it)
all sorts of things happened in a moment.
The candles grew up to the ceiling, looking
something like a bed of bushes with
fireworks at the top. As to the bottles, they
each took a pair of plates, which they hastily
fitted on as wings, and so, with forks for
legs, went fluttering about: "and very like
birds they look," Alice thought to herself, as
well as she could in the dreadful confusion
that was beginning. At this moment she
heard a hoarse laugh at her side, and turned
to see what was the matter with the White
Queen; but, instead of the Queen, there
was the leg of mutton sitting in the chair.
"Here I am!" cried a voice from the soup-
tureen, and Alice turned again, just in time
to see the Queen's broad good-natured
face grinning at her for a moment over the
edge of the tureen, before she disappeared
into the soup.

There was not a moment to be lost. Already
several of the guests were lying down in the
dishes, and the soup-ladle was walking up
the table to Alice, and signing to her to get
out of its way.

"I can't stand this any longer!" she cried, as
she seized the table-cloth with both hands:
one good pull, and plates, dishes, guests,
and candles came crashing down together
in a heap on the floor.

-53-

whatever you say to them, they always purr.
"If they would only purr for "yes,' and mew
for "no,' or any rule of that sort," she had
said, "so that one could keep up a
conversation! But how can you talk with a
person if they always say the same thing?"

On this occasion the kitten only purred: and
it was impossible to guess whether it meant
"yes' or 'no.'

So Alice hunted among the chessmen on
the table till she had found the Red Queen:
then she went down on her knees on the
hearthrug, and put the Kitten and the Queen
to look at each other. "Now, Kitty!" she
cried, clapping her hands triumphantly.
"You've got to confess that that was what
you turned into!"

("But it wouldn't look at it," she said, when
she was explaining the thing afterwards to
her sister : "it turned away its head, and
pretended not to see it: but it looked a little
ashamed of itself, so I think it must have
been the Red Queen.")

"Sit up a little more stiffly, dear!" Alice cried
with a merry laugh. "And curtsey while
you're thinking what to what to purr. It saves
time, remember!" And she caught it up in
her arms, and gave it one little kiss "just in
honour of its having been a Red Queen, you
know!"

"Snowdrop, my pet!" she went on, looking
over her shoulder at the White Kitten, which
was still patiently undergoing its toilet,
"when will Dinah have finished with your
White Majesty, I wonder? That must be the
reason you were so untidy in my dream.
Dinah! Do you know that you're scrubbing a
White Queen? Really, it's most disrespectful
you, and I'm quite surprised at you!"

"And what did Dinah turn to, I wonder?" she

-54-

prattled on, as she settled comfortably
down, with one elbow on the rug, and her
chin in her hand, to watch the kittens. "Tell
me, Dinah, did you turn to Humpty Dumpty?
I think you did however, you'd better not
mention it to your friends just yet, for I"m not
sure.

"By the way, Kitty, if only you'd been really
with me in my dream, there was one thing
you would have enjoyed I had such a
quantity of poetry said to me, all about
fishes! To-morrow morning you shall have a
real treat. All the time you're eating your
breakfast, I'll repeat "The Walrus and the
Carpenter" to you; and then you can make
believe it's oysters, my dear!

"Now, Kitty, let's consider who it was that
dreamed it all. This is a serious question,
my dear, and you should not go on licking
your paw like that as if Dinah hadn't washed
you this morning!

You see, Kitty, it must have been either me
or the Red King. He was part of my dream,
of course but then I was part of his dream,
too! Was it the Red King, Kitty? You were his
wife, my dear, so you ought to know oh,
Kitty, do help to settle it! I'm sure your paw
can wait!" But the provoking kitten only
began on the other paw, and pretended it
hadn't heard the question.

Which do you think it was?

THE END

-55-